FabSwingers.com forum: jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

what's the difference between jam an marmalade?you carnt marmalade your cock up your missus arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats got two legs an bleeds? Half a dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll tell u a joke about butter...just don’t spread it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt. "

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

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By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I’ll tell u a joke about butter...just don’t spread it"

Wanna hear the joke about the wall? You'll never get over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.

"Do you have any kids?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied, "I have one child that's under two."

She said, "Listen, I might be blonde, but I know how many one is."

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?"

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

YESSSSSS!!! Same

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

YESSSSSS!!! Same

Hahahaa highhhh five!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

YESSSSSS!!! Same

Hahahaa highhhh five!!

High 10??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

tell me

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By *urreycpl69Couple
over a year ago

Louth

I went to the doctor.

I said to him: “I’m frightened of lapels.”

He said: “You’ve got cholera.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock Knock

Whose there?

Grandad

QUICK, STOP THE CREMATION!

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur "

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

YESSSSSS!!! Same

Hahahaa highhhh five!!

High 10??

Ahahaa *spud*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call a blind dinosaur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

And do you know why 6 didn’t get on 7?

Because 7 eight nine ?? my fav ever!

YESSSSSS!!! Same

Hahahaa highhhh five!!

High 10??

Ahahaa *spud*"

*spud*

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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago

Reading

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to his mate, 'Does this taste funny?'

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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago

Reading

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call a blind dinosaur "

A Doyouthinkesaras

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By *iphunterMan
over a year ago

medway

I ate 13 bits of string last night !! I shit you knot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call a blind dinosaur

Damn. That was for _il.red

A Doyouthinkesaras

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red"

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe "

Another one for ya.

What goes black white black white black white red

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe

Another one for ya.

What goes black white black white black white red"

Do tell!? It sounds familiar but not ringing no bells

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe

Another one for ya.

What goes black white black white black white red

Do tell!? It sounds familiar but not ringing no bells"

Yerrr I’ve got ya!!!

A zebra with a sore arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received a letter from Screwfix thanking me for my inquiry.

And informing me they are not a Dating agency.

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe

Another one for ya.

What goes black white black white black white red

Do tell!? It sounds familiar but not ringing no bells

Yerrr I’ve got ya!!!

A zebra with a sore arse "
ha

Hahaaa keep em coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the O say to the Q?!

Dude! Your dick’s hanging out!

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Lesbian dinosaur?

An Ilickalotapus

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Lesbian dinosaur?

An Ilickalotapus"

Hahahahhaaaaà

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the banana say to the doctor!

I'm not peeling very well

Love it!!!

What do you call a gay dinosaur

Mega-sore-asss!! Hahahaa

Yesssssssssss

Ok try this one red....

What do u call

A Doyouthinkesaras

Damn that was for _il.red

Ahhh damn I didn't see it in time to think of that one!! I love it hehe

Another one for ya.

What goes black white black white black white red

Do tell!? It sounds familiar but not ringing no bells

Yerrr I’ve got ya!!!

A zebra with a sore arse ha

Hahaaa keep em coming"

4 gay men walk into a bar...only one chair, how do they all take a seat?

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

I'm stumped? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm stumped? Lol "

Turn the chair upside down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One thing you must never say in a gay bar, " can I push your stool in" lol

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By *lue NarwhalMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

A penguin decides to go on a road trip to Las Vegas, he gets nearly there when steam starts to pour out of his engine, he eventually finds a garage and pulls in.

After lots of sucking of air, the mechanic says he will take a look and tells the penguin to come back in half an hour..

Off waddles the penguin and he finds an icecream seller, he's a bit hot so decides to get a supersized icecream to cool him down. He really enjoys the massive icecream, it takes him ages to eat and in the desert heat it melts and his face is covered in the sticky stuff..

Half an hour up, he returns to his car and asks the mechanic if he has found whats wrong. "Well" says the mechanic, "it looks like you've blown a seal", the penguin looks horrified and replies "no, it was just an ice cream!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm stumped? Lol

Turn the chair upside down

Have I lost ya red?

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

What do you call a man and a woman who go fishing? ....

Rod and Annette!

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By *il.redCouple
over a year ago

ashford

"I'm stumped? Lol

Turn the chair upside down

Hahaaa

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Irish dog sitting on the floor chewing on a bone. When it got up it only had three legs...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm stumped? Lol

Turn the chair upside down

Hahaaa

You got any to throw back??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a 55" going for the bargain price of a tenner.

Only problem was the Volume stuck on full.

I thought I can't turn that down!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do the mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue and youre in deep shit

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By *urreycpl69Couple
over a year ago

Louth

I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre.

She said: “Are you having me on?”

I said: “Well I’ll give you an audition but I’m not promising anything.”

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

Did you know it was a Welsh man who invented the condom using a sheep's lower intestine, and an English man who refined it by taking it out of the sheep first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between a dead hooker and a Ferrari?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage ??

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

I went into the dentist and said, please help, I think I’m a moth. He said, the physiatrist is next door. I said, I know, but your light was on.......

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By *urreycpl69Couple
over a year ago

Louth

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat

I do not have a headache;

I do not have a headache,

I do not have a headache.'

It worked! The headaches are all gone."

"Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband.

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.

He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"

The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning.

Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,

She's not my wife.

She's not my wife!"

His funeral service will be held on Saturday.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

now that was funny

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