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Messaging Rules

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Interesting one here, does anyone have a rule on messages?

Which ones are complete delete and block?

Would you bend your rules sometimes?

What would you exepect when you are being messaged or messaging?

I leave this in capable hands of the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If men don’t get a reply, they follow it up with abuse.

Women will most likely ignore the PM and delete it unread.

These are just 2 of things I’m certain of from continuous threads on here. But, men get slated for moaning about it. And women are comforted and supported.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given that I'm lucky to receive one message in a week, I read them all and deal with them on their own merits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have rules. I'm here to engage with people so I'm open to that. I'm not gonna rule someone out cos they don't write a message a certain way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Given that I'm lucky to receive one message in a week, I read them all and deal with them on their own merits."

I think that’s why men probably enjoy the site for the social side more. We get very little crumbs given to us, so we make everything we get given count. . We appreciate the effort of a first message much more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Given that I'm lucky to receive one message in a week, I read them all and deal with them on their own merits.

I think that’s why men probably enjoy the site for the social side more. We get very little crumbs given to us, so we make everything we get given count. . We appreciate the effort of a first message much more. "

Yes effort, that’s interesting, would you say that effort in writing a well thought out message is wasted here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting one here, does anyone have a rule on messages?

Which ones are complete delete and block?

Would you bend your rules sometimes?

What would you exepect when you are being messaged or messaging?

I leave this in capable hands of the forum "

Not rules per se, however I’d wouldn’t be endeared by abuse or obvious failure to read my profile (when showing it), in terms of when I’m stating I’m ‘not meeting’ or that ‘I wouldn’t be a one message and meet type scenario player’. For me, it’s mostly timing as to whether I even read, or block delete and then if I read, I have responded (in the sense it’s moved me to respond) if the message is a bit more ‘essence of the person, a level playing interaction or query or observation and not an immediate sexual dialogue or assumption’, I’m not in need of compliments yet if there is one please let it be about something relevant - no use telling me I’ve lovely feet if I’ve not feet pictures etc. To be honest, the compliments that have actually landed and made me feel touched were about something I’ve written rather than about me physically (but I appreciate that I am projecting a lack of credulity in whether someone finds me physically attractive and that’s my own hang up).

The two messages that became really important people to me (as in I had no knowledge or interaction with them prior to the first message), one talked to me about Tess of the d'Urbervilles in opening message, and the other had a real written lyricism and had clearly responded to my profile. And yet, I also fully believe that both those message landed due to happenstance and serendipity of timing - I was open, inclined and it sparked for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ughhhh morning typos, sorry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Given that I'm lucky to receive one message in a week, I read them all and deal with them on their own merits.

I think that’s why men probably enjoy the site for the social side more. We get very little crumbs given to us, so we make everything we get given count. . We appreciate the effort of a first message much more.

Yes effort, that’s interesting, would you say that effort in writing a well thought out message is wasted here? "

I think expectations for anything is wasted here. Humans are involved, and humans rarely give you what you expect and want. With risk of sounding like an ass, don’t we attract like for like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No rules. I'm too maverick for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Given that I'm lucky to receive one message in a week, I read them all and deal with them on their own merits.

I think that’s why men probably enjoy the site for the social side more. We get very little crumbs given to us, so we make everything we get given count. . We appreciate the effort of a first message much more.

Yes effort, that’s interesting, would you say that effort in writing a well thought out message is wasted here? "

It's difficult for men to understand the women and vice versa. As a guy, I will read a profile and send a well written introduction, knowing that, in most cases, it will be deleted possibly unread.

A single woman may receive so many messages that she can't keep up.

And then there are the couples who complain via their status about how many messages they get from single guys... my feeling is that they are often simply playing to the sites stereotype of us single guys to make themselves feel superior and important.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't expect anything when it comes to messaging. I get about one to three messages a week currently and I respond how I see fit on an individual basis. No rules.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I get an unsolicited message and it’s not good enough (for various and varying reasons) they get this in reply:

“thank you for your message, however it has been deemed too lacking in interest to merit a response”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I get an unsolicited message and it’s not good enough (for various and varying reasons) they get this in reply:

“thank you for your message, however it has been deemed too lacking in interest to merit a response” "

So tempted to try this out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My rule is simple. Do as you would be done by.

I always reply to messages, even if it is what I consider the end of a conversation. I just put either an 'X' for women or an ';-)' to men (in order to not break the fragile ego of their heterosexuality)

I keep contact with some while I don't with other because we haven't much to say.

But I do not ignore messages.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"If I get an unsolicited message and it’s not good enough (for various and varying reasons) they get this in reply:

“thank you for your message, however it has been deemed too lacking in interest to merit a response” "

Ah but by sending that you ARE responding and therefore contradicting yourself

Now where do I change my username to Mr Pedantic?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to reply to all first mails unless I very busy in the real world and then I would delete the "free now" style messages and I delete and block any repeat messages from people I have made clear I wasnt interested in.

Not like I get loads of mails.. and dont really send them anymore unless I have had some interaction on here. They are also the mails I get most excited about recieving as you know there is an actual personality behind them

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"If I get an unsolicited message and it’s not good enough (for various and varying reasons) they get this in reply:

“thank you for your message, however it has been deemed too lacking in interest to merit a response”

Ah but by sending that you ARE responding and therefore contradicting yourself

Now where do I change my username to Mr Pedantic?! "

Yes, that’s the amusing part...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I don't have any rules as such I'll either deem a message worthy of response or not - that said I'll be honest and say 99.99% of the ones I don't respond to are from other guys whose message and profile aren't going to have worn out a keyboard through over use!!

Tend to find that most messages I get from ladies at the very least have made some attempt to engage me, and are therefore always likely to get a reply.

I don't tend to concern myself with whether my messages get a response or not, they either do or they don't, but in the majority of cases they do, so those that don't I know is nothing to do with my writing style/content etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont really have set rules.

But I always look at profiles before opening them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples,and i would imagine,single women join fab to expand their sex lives,to enjoy(note the word "enjoy") new experiences.

Not to shag every guy on the site because they joined as well.

Some of your so called,well thought out messages may not be as well thought out as you think.

Some of you may well match on paper what the couples/ladies are looking for but on deeper inspection the attraction or spark just isn't there.

There's no magic formula to fab.

There's someone for everyone

Not everyone for someone.

And as for couples joining fab to feel superior to others? Wise up.

They join for their own pleasure,not to belittle others,not to give chances,their time is precious and when they do find time to meet others for sexual fun they want to feel they are meeting the right people.Not people who just happen to have joined the same site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope its all banter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Interesting one here, does anyone have a rule on messages?

Which ones are complete delete and block?

Would you bend your rules sometimes?

What would you exepect when you are being messaged or messaging?

I leave this in capable hands of the forum

Not rules per se, however I’d wouldn’t be endeared by abuse or obvious failure to read my profile (when showing it), in terms of when I’m stating I’m ‘not meeting’ or that ‘I wouldn’t be a one message and meet type scenario player’. For me, it’s mostly timing as to whether I even read, or block delete and then if I read, I have responded (in the sense it’s moved me to respond) if the message is a bit more ‘essence of the person, a level playing interaction or query or observation and not an immediate sexual dialogue or assumption’, I’m not in need of compliments yet if there is one please let it be about something relevant - no use telling me I’ve lovely feet if I’ve not feet pictures etc. To be honest, the compliments that have actually landed and made me feel touched were about something I’ve written rather than about me physically (but I appreciate that I am projecting a lack of credulity in whether someone finds me physically attractive and that’s my own hang up).

The two messages that became really important people to me (as in I had no knowledge or interaction with them prior to the first message), one talked to me about Tess of the d'Urbervilles in opening message, and the other had a real written lyricism and had clearly responded to my profile. And yet, I also fully believe that both those message landed due to happenstance and serendipity of timing - I was open, inclined and it sparked for me. "

This post has captured my attention the most. It provides a lot of insight. Thanks

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By *ccasionalfunCouple
over a year ago

hereandthere

If I can read the whole message without opening it I delete it unopened

Any that ask to meet now I delete.

Had one mail asking to Skype or kik our profile says we don't Skype or kik.

I asked him if he may try reading profiles in the future before messaging

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Interesting one here, does anyone have a rule on messages?

Which ones are complete delete and block?

Would you bend your rules sometimes?

What would you exepect when you are being messaged or messaging?

I leave this in capable hands of the forum "

I have 2 types of message in my inbox.

1) you need to spend £5

2) you have just spent £5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I can read the whole message without opening it I delete it unopened

Any that ask to meet now I delete.

Had one mail asking to Skype or kik our profile says we don't Skype or kik.

I asked him if he may try reading profiles in the future before messaging "

Can you read "meet r kik?" Without opening the message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have any rules. I've always tried to respond to the messages I've received. Both of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have any rules. I've always tried to respond to the messages I've received. Both of them. "

Two dozen lol

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

I get royally narked if I send a message asking questions and the person parrots back their profile information which bears little to no relevance to the question.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"If men don’t get a reply, they follow it up with abuse.

Women will most likely ignore the PM and delete it unread.

These are just 2 of things I’m certain of from continuous threads on here. But, men get slated for moaning about it. And women are comforted and supported. "

But we are the ones who receive the abuse for polite replies that TRAINS us to delete to avoid it.

I have no rules - if ANYTHING about the profile, pictures or message from someone who matches my stated criteria amuses, intrigues or excites me I will reply.

If nothing appeals, or they are not what I am seeking, then I will not - in order to avoid abuse.

As someone else pointed out you can read most messages without opening them.

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By *vetteBondTV/TS
over a year ago

English Riviera


"Yes effort, that’s interesting, would you say that effort in writing a well thought out message is wasted here? "

Certainly not wasted on me as they make a very pleasant change to the one liners I usually get so I will always write a fuller response even if it's a no thank you.

The one liners usually come in 3 basic forms:

1. A compliment which always gets a thank you.

2. Some sick crap which always gets deleted usually unread as I can see enough of the message not to open it.

3. A Hi which I may say hi back to if I like the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couples,and i would imagine,single women join fab to expand their sex lives,to enjoy(note the word "enjoy") new experiences.

Not to shag every guy on the site because they joined as well.

Some of your so called,well thought out messages may not be as well thought out as you think.

Some of you may well match on paper what the couples/ladies are looking for but on deeper inspection the attraction or spark just isn't there.

There's no magic formula to fab.

There's someone for everyone

Not everyone for someone.

And as for couples joining fab to feel superior to others? Wise up.

They join for their own pleasure,not to belittle others,not to give chances,their time is precious and when they do find time to meet others for sexual fun they want to feel they are meeting the right people.Not people who just happen to have joined the same site.

"

I think you misconstrued my point. There are some couples who make point of using status updates, usually in capital letters to complain about single guys. When you look at their profile, they are often unverified and have no photos.

You may not do it, but others certainly do and it all adds to the noise about how inconsiderate or stupid single guys are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's just a "Hi" that I recieve, then I'm not likely to reply. Unless I'm feeling a bit playful. In which case a mono sylable conversation may ensue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting one here, does anyone have a rule on messages?

Which ones are complete delete and block?

Would you bend your rules sometimes?

What would you exepect when you are being messaged or messaging?

I leave this in capable hands of the forum

Not rules per se, however I’d wouldn’t be endeared by abuse or obvious failure to read my profile (when showing it), in terms of when I’m stating I’m ‘not meeting’ or that ‘I wouldn’t be a one message and meet type scenario player’. For me, it’s mostly timing as to whether I even read, or block delete and then if I read, I have responded (in the sense it’s moved me to respond) if the message is a bit more ‘essence of the person, a level playing interaction or query or observation and not an immediate sexual dialogue or assumption’, I’m not in need of compliments yet if there is one please let it be about something relevant - no use telling me I’ve lovely feet if I’ve not feet pictures etc. To be honest, the compliments that have actually landed and made me feel touched were about something I’ve written rather than about me physically (but I appreciate that I am projecting a lack of credulity in whether someone finds me physically attractive and that’s my own hang up).

The two messages that became really important people to me (as in I had no knowledge or interaction with them prior to the first message), one talked to me about Tess of the d'Urbervilles in opening message, and the other had a real written lyricism and had clearly responded to my profile. And yet, I also fully believe that both those message landed due to happenstance and serendipity of timing - I was open, inclined and it sparked for me.

This post has captured my attention the most. It provides a lot of insight. Thanks "

My pleasure.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

If I get an unsolicited message from someone.... i’ll let you know when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to reply to as many as I can and there are a select few who I message a lot but sometimes when the message just says; “want a meet now” no hello or just weird stuff then I have been known to just delete x

Also if the inbox gets full then sometimes the only way is to just delete but I do feel bad doing that x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I try to reply to as many as I can and there are a select few who I message a lot but sometimes when the message just says; “want a meet now” no hello or just weird stuff then I have been known to just delete x

Also if the inbox gets full then sometimes the only way is to just delete but I do feel bad doing that x"

Now that is really interesting!, what is the actual limit for when your inbox is full?

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