FabSwingers.com forum: Asking someone out

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm single again after leaving a long term relationship. I never was that brilliant at asking women out. Never even really went on a proper date. Now I'm older and wiser I'm... none the wiser

Any advice? Particularly interested in women's views on this. Do I really have to "go out on the pull"? Can I just go up to a woman on the street and ask her for her number? What is the etiquette with this whole thing? How would you prefer a man to ask you out? As you can tell I'm somewhat lost with this.

p.s in case it isn't entirely clear I'm not talking about propositioning people for sex. I'm talking about asking if they're single and whether I can have their number or take them on a date or whatever the heck it is I'm supposed to say to a woman who I spot and like the look of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watching with interest....

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Follow them home

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Follow them home

"
wearing a clown outfit

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Follow them home

wearing a clown outfit

"
shouting “free sausages for sale!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Write a song to play with your guitar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you new to this planet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve always found a smile is a good starter. If the smile is returned, strike up a conversation.

I got given a guys number over the maltesers in Tescos recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say “hello, are you single?”

If they say yes then make that “kerching” noise and tell them that today is their lucky day as you slip them your......number.

If they say “no” then say “he’s a lucky guy” and walk away forlornly looking dissapointed and dejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself down the pub and check out the women there..

I wouldnt advise accosting anyone in the street

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I’ve always found a smile is a good starter. If the smile is returned, strike up a conversation.

I got given a guys number over the maltesers in Tescos recently.

"
hmmmm.....I’ve done this before: smiled at a lady and she smiled back, out her finger in her mouth and wriggled it about in a suggestive manner, rubbed her tongue over her teeth too. I thought I was in until she rummaged through her bag, took out a tooth pick and pulled a stuck sultana out of her teeth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be freaked out if a total stranger approached me in the street to ask me out.

I would have to already know the man at least vaguely, otherwise I would only be responsive to an approach via a dating site.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I'd be freaked out if a total stranger approached me in the street to ask me out.

I would have to already know the man at least vaguely, otherwise I would only be responsive to an approach via a dating site."
don’t you like clowns?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be freaked out if a total stranger approached me in the street to ask me out.

I would have to already know the man at least vaguely, otherwise I would only be responsive to an approach via a dating site. don’t you like clowns?

I have mace for situations like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

send them an e mail

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Chat, have a laugh, get to know someone and don’t Keep thinking “shit shit I need to ask them out”. If she’s keen as well, it will all just naturally drop into the conversation.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"send them an e mail"
and attach a ‘sausage’ photo

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I'd be freaked out if a total stranger approached me in the street to ask me out.

I would have to already know the man at least vaguely, otherwise I would only be responsive to an approach via a dating site. don’t you like clowns?

I have mace for situations like that

"
I can run fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sing at kareoke bars works for me

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I got chatted up at the petrol pump the other day... he was at the opposite pump, he smiled, I smiled back he made small talk about it costing a bomb to fill up these days they Wham! Straight out with it he came... "fancy joining me for dinner later?" I was gobsmacked.... never been asked out before. I came over all wobbly and what was my smartarse reply?

"Sorry Ive already got mince out of the freezer"

Good job im not single and having to rely on being asked out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watching with interest...."

Watch the news. OP will be on it soon....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I got chatted up at the petrol pump the other day... he was at the opposite pump, he smiled, I smiled back he made small talk about it costing a bomb to fill up these days they Wham! Straight out with it he came... "fancy joining me for dinner later?" I was gobsmacked.... never been asked out before. I came over all wobbly and what was my smartarse reply?

"Sorry Ive already got mince out of the freezer"

Good job im not single and having to rely on being asked out!

That's such a cute story

Thanks for sharing xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Watching with interest....

Watch the news. OP will be on it soon....

Only if I'm taking Brightonsteve's advice

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Watching with interest....

Watch the news. OP will be on it soon....

Only if I'm taking Brightonsteve's advice

Do it! Do it! Do it!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Do it in a casual manner. Chat. If you seem to be getting on either ask if they would like to grab a coffee sometime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Follow them home

wearing a clown outfit

shouting “free sausages for sale!”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I just spotted a woman in the crisps section of Tesco (salt and vinegar in case you're wondering). I did the all important check to see if we were likely to be compatible i.e I ogled her tits

What should I have done next? Ladies? I should add that she was probably in her late twenties so the realistic answer is probably "nothing... and stop ogling her tits"

But let's just try the hypothetical route for a mo

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

This is actually a bloody good question .

Back in the day , before mobile phones , laptops , the internet and social media , we would go to the pub or a disco to look for a partner . Whether for casual or more serious . Either that or a work colleague ( not always easy ) , or an introduction from a friend .

Good luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send your mate over to ask them for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I just spotted a woman in the crisps section of Tesco (salt and vinegar in case you're wondering). I did the all important check to see if we were likely to be compatible i.e I ogled her tits

What should I have done next? Ladies? I should add that she was probably in her late twenties so the realistic answer is probably "nothing... and stop ogling her tits"

But let's just try the hypothetical route for a mo "

You walk up behind her and whisper in her ear "Put the crisps down lard arse". She'll thank you for it when she next steps on the scales.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single woman I wouldn’t mind if someone came over and asked for my number.

Not that it’s ever happened!!

I would say if you see someone your attracted too or have chatted too and like then go for it... life is short and what have you got to loose!!?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"This is actually a bloody good question .

Good luck op

I was just thinking the same! It must get harder as you get older to as more people will already be paired off.

So as well as oogling their tits OP you should be checking out her ring situation.....not like that you dirty bigger

Have to say I'd be hopeless!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Follow them home

wearing a clown outfit

shouting “free sausages for sale!”

Obviously with what’s happened, somethings haven’t changed....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I just spotted a woman in the crisps section of Tesco (salt and vinegar in case you're wondering). I did the all important check to see if we were likely to be compatible i.e I ogled her tits

What should I have done next? Ladies? I should add that she was probably in her late twenties so the realistic answer is probably "nothing... and stop ogling her tits"

But let's just try the hypothetical route for a mo

You walk up behind her and whisper in her ear "Put the crisps down lard arse". She'll thank you for it when she next steps on the scales. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a single woman I wouldn’t mind if someone came over and asked for my number.

Not that it’s ever happened!!

I would say if you see someone your attracted too or have chatted too and like then go for it... life is short and what have you got to loose!!?

You see I was thinking that. I was thinking I couldn't really imagine a situation where I'd mind a woman asking me for my number. But then I suddenly thought "what if she's a crazy bag lady?" and I quickly realised all the women I'd imagined asking me for my number had been Zooey Deschanel

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is actually a bloody good question .

Good luck op

I was just thinking the same! It must get harder as you get older to as more people will already be paired off.

So as well as oogling their tits OP you should be checking out her ring situation.....not like that you dirty bigger

Have to say I'd be hopeless!"

Absolutely Lady Lick! Very astute. That's why I'm thinking I might have to lead with a "surely your husband would prefer roast beef flavour?" just to check availability first.

p.s that chat up line wouldn't work with all situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single woman I wouldn’t mind if someone came over and asked for my number.

Not that it’s ever happened!!

I would say if you see someone your attracted too or have chatted too and like then go for it... life is short and what have you got to loose!!?

I would definitely ask for your number

Snowwhite has it right though, just give it a go, you don’t win the lotto if you didn’t buy a ticket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t remember ever being asked out. I think I would like a guy to be quite direct though, and wouldn’t mind being approached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is actually a bloody good question .

Good luck op

I still find that approach gives a far higher success rate than online options...

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

It is getting trickier these days

With everybody engrossed in their personal social media device it's now seen as strange to ask someone out, out of the blue. Internet dating is now the norm. I'm in a tricky, but common situation. I live well away from my family and friends so i dont have a local social network (I dislike drinking with work colleagues-i like to keep my work life seperate) and most of the people my age are paired off and I'm getting too old to hang with the younger guys in pubs/clubs (my tastes are refining with age).

I do long for the days when people interacted more. I chatted up my (now ex) wife with 'Hi, you look nice, what's your name'

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"This is actually a bloody good question .

Good luck op

I was just thinking the same! It must get harder as you get older to as more people will already be paired off.

So as well as oogling their tits OP you should be checking out her ring situation.....not like that you dirty bigger

Have to say I'd be hopeless!

Absolutely Lady Lick! Very astute. That's why I'm thinking I might have to lead with a "surely your husband would prefer roast beef flavour?" just to check availability first.

p.s that chat up line wouldn't work with all situations

Oh yes, that's a good one. I would like that, it would make me giggle.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Twice I’ve had a note thrust in my hand by a stranger with a number on - felt quite flattered

I did respond to one..

Have some business size cards printed with a little message ‘ you caught my eye - if you’re single may I take you out to dinner’ with an email or contact number

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes if I go for a coffee and I’m sat people watching I do think wouldn’t it be great if a gorgeous hot guy came in and sat close by.. made eye contact etc we got chatting and then asked for my number.....

I know it won’t happen but hey hope springs eternal and all that....

Your always at risk of that other person being a nutcase but go with your gut instinct!! I think it would be really sad if you saw someone and never took that chance.... because what if......

Oh and if you have a bunny then keep it locked up!!! Just be on the safe side!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely don’t approach women on the street

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Definitely don’t approach women on the street

Don't listen to her. Do it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was checking the crisps and the lucky lady in question then (purely what would work for me) I’d suggest starting with a hi/eye contact and smile and a gentle jokey type conversation starter - “ooooh it’s been ages since I had a salt and vinegar crisp sandwich, they’re the best” type thing. It would give me something to engage with (or close down and move away from if I didn’t want to converse, without it being too personal to you).

If I engaged a bit more, then a little back/forth exchange and then a direct question, “hey, you know I’m single and you’ve made me smile - this is out the blue but would you like to go for a coffee/drink some time, no pressure...I just think I’d like to chat more..?” That way I know you’re single (I would never assume just because you’re asking me out!) and that your intent is a date and that it’s not a do or die moment - saying ‘no pressure’ is quite reassuring especially if I’d like to but I’m feeling anxious and nervous, my issue not a rejection of you just a ‘oh my god aaaagghh exciting but shit I’m such a shit date oh shit’ reaction! At that point if I’m not single I can say and if I’m not interested beyond the initial chat we had I can end it potentially saving you face by suggesting I’m not single so it just remains a nice friendly interaction and everyone is okay.

If I’m interested I can answer with an affirmative. And then let me respond and let me lead with how to firm it up, eg if I ask for your number or give mine or whatever.

But I appreciate that’s just me.

Ask people OP. I’d love for someone to ask me. I’d be terrified too. But I’d be so excited.

Also, the worst that happens is that someone feels good about themselves as you’ve complimented them through a lovely interaction. All good karma for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also I’d want a little chat before the asking out, as otherwise I’d feel a little objectified and I’d feel less positive about it all. Mostly because I don’t find myself attractive and I’d struggle to know why you’d be approaching me and it would give me doubts. Based on friendly conversation I’d be more reassured and confident.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask people OP. I’d love for someone to ask me. I’d be terrified too. But I’d be so excited.

Also, the worst that happens is that someone feels good about themselves as you’ve complimented them through a lovely interaction. All good karma for you. "

That's such a lovely thing to say

Thanks for that Blanche. Perhaps I will approach them in a clown suit after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask people OP. I’d love for someone to ask me. I’d be terrified too. But I’d be so excited.

Also, the worst that happens is that someone feels good about themselves as you’ve complimented them through a lovely interaction. All good karma for you.

That's such a lovely thing to say

Thanks for that Blanche. Perhaps I will approach them in a clown suit after all

And you are polite, thoughtful and interesting (gleaned from your posts) so why on earth wouldn’t anyone chatting to you?! Even they’re not single or don’t fancy you then there’s a whole host of new friends to be made and each of them may have friends to introduce you to!

I’d definitely go for a drink with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse typos.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"It is getting trickier these days

I do long for the days when people interacted more. I chatted up my (now ex) wife with 'Hi, you look nice, what's your name'"

I hear you .

My situation is same .

I can just add that I hate internet dating.

I would be so nice someone to smile and pay me a compliment in every day life and ask me out .

Don’t hesitate OP . If you are in situation to meet someone , ask them out and be a gentleman .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ask people OP. I’d love for someone to ask me. I’d be terrified too. But I’d be so excited.

Also, the worst that happens is that someone feels good about themselves as you’ve complimented them through a lovely interaction. All good karma for you.

That's such a lovely thing to say

Thanks for that Blanche. Perhaps I will approach them in a clown suit after all

I’d definitely go for a drink with you.

Awww now you're making me go all gooey. I think I'll have to pop across to the "how do I urinate in someone's eyes without freaking them out?" thread just to sober up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can just add that I hate internet dating.

I would be so nice someone to smile and pay me a compliment in every day life and ask me out .

Don’t hesitate OP . If you are in situation to meet someone , ask them out and be a gentleman."

Yes! This is where I'm going with this. I'm beginning to think online dating isn't cutting it. At least on Fab you have the opportunity to chat on a forum and get some sense of whether you like anyone or not. So I'm thinking of going old school and dusting off the proverbial clown suit

It's been really reassuring that at least some women on here feel they'd respond to a gentlemanly old school approach. The fact that the rest of the women would either grab their mace or run away screaming is, however, cause for concern

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a smile and a cheeky approach works wherever you are.

I once had a guy approach me in Morrisons, at the salad bar, he said to me your dress is lovely, so I thanked him and went on my merry way. Then he spotted me again and came over with a piece of apparently and said can I give you my number. I had to turn him down as I was in a relationship but it did make me smile the rest of the day.

So basically what have you got to lose?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Piece of paper. I really should proof read

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was stood at a bus stop a while back and was approached by someone.

I don't know why but I told him I was married - probably because I had an audience of old ladies

Even though nothing came of it - I liked it it made me feel good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single again after leaving a long term relationship. I never was that brilliant at asking women out. Never even really went on a proper date. Now I'm older and wiser I'm... none the wiser

Feel for you, buddy, not finding it easy myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Follow them home

wearing a clown outfit

Just hide the knife if you see police at any point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm single again after leaving a long term relationship. I never was that brilliant at asking women out. Never even really went on a proper date. Now I'm older and wiser I'm... none the wiser

Just go for it...

No matter where you are. You have nothing to lose by asking..

Life is way too short

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I can just add that I hate internet dating.

I would be so nice someone to smile and pay me a compliment in every day life and ask me out .

Don’t hesitate OP . If you are in situation to meet someone , ask them out and be a gentleman.

I love old school gentleman and chivalry.

I know I am not the only one who is fond of this .

Don’t change for anyone OP . Be yourself and don’t lower your standards .

Good luck and let us know how you get on x

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By *traight up guyMan
over a year ago

Morpeth

Chloroform!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I really like this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry Ive already got mince out of the freezer"

Good job im not single and having to rely on being asked out!

Hilarious

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