FabSwingers.com forum: Slugs

By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

I know it’s really early in the season but the warm weather has brought the slimy fuckers out. I used to be a little squeamish but now I just pick them up and stamp on them .

Just killed 15. Sorry if this offends anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just put my gardening gloves on and throw them over the wall

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)"
why did it say that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?"

It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)"

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)"

“Big Issue!!”

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

A handy bucket of salt water is also good. The more salt, the better..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also....how can you stamp on them if you've picked them up!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also....how can you stamp on them if you've picked them up!?"

That’s what I thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)"

Are you judging me?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!? "

I have had slugs inside my house, the little bastards.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

Are you judging me?"

Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!?

I have had slugs inside my house, the little bastards.

I did once and I stood on it barefoot

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By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)"

I always get stuck behind these mobile homes. .x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

Are you judging me?

Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand?"

Do you need a hug?

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Also....how can you stamp on them if you've picked them up!?"

Simple, I pick them off my plants and herbs, throw them on the ground, put the foot down. Big snails, I lob them over the fence as I can’t bring myself to crush them

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

The answer is ducks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have one of those electric fly swatters (looks like a tennis racket) put a slug on there and activate until it touches the element. Is quite interesting

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

Are you judging me?

Certainly not but just couldn’t resist a little dig. Not that I’m sensitive you understand?

Do you need a hug?"

Yes please. No funny nonsense mind you

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

A slug is just a homeless snail...

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Oh I'm so not a fan of slugs or snails. If you put a deepish bowl out of beer they fall in, drink it ,drown and die happy.

Snails will come back if you throw them over the wall. I couldn't put salt on them,too cruel for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A slug is just a homeless snail... "

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?

It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in."

Ha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

slugs are just homeless snails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"slugs are just homeless snails

Read the thread!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is ducks. "

But only if the question is quackers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?

It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in.

Ha!

The punchline is up there ^^^

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

"A slug is just a homeless snail...

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!"

..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it..

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By *heangelWoman
over a year ago

wonderland

I really like slugs !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A slug is just a homeless snail...

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!

..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it.."

I’m wasted on this audience.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"A slug is just a homeless snail...

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!"

Ah sorry, didn't read that

I don't think Tosh did either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)why did it say that?

It didn’t, I’ve not delivered the punchline yet. Just put my pre-emptive apology in.

Ha!

The punchline is up there ^^^ "

I hope you’re not after a career in stand up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"slugs are just homeless snails

Read the thread!!!!!

"
Sorry . ok your joke i nicked

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By *kblueeyesCouple
over a year ago

kilkenny

"Oh I'm so not a fan of slugs or snails. If you put a deepish bowl out of beer they fall in, drink it ,drown and die happy.

Snails will come back if you throw them over the wall. I couldn't put salt on them,too cruel for me. "

. Got to agree a half can of beer they will drown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you put salt on and throw them quickly in the bbq embers they pop noisily like firecrackers.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"The answer is ducks.

But only if the question is quackers

I'm semi-serious.

Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is ducks.

But only if the question is quackers

I'm semi-serious.

Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs. "

I love it when you talk country.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

So. Many. Questions.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

“Big Issue!!”"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did the slug say to the snail?

(I apologise to my work for relaying this joke)

I don’t know, what did the slug say to the snail?

(This is how you play along with a joke Rubi)

“Big Issue!!”

Finally!

Thank you x

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know

I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know

I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards "

Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer is ducks.

But only if the question is quackers

I'm semi-serious.

Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs. "

duck is pretty delicious too... But as a solution, duck are noisy smelly creatures, possibly worse pets than slugs...

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"The answer is ducks.

But only if the question is quackers

I'm semi-serious.

Ducks eat slugs and snails, and (mostly) leave your garden plants alone. They then use the tasty slug protein to lay delicious eggs.

duck is pretty delicious too... But as a solution, duck are noisy smelly creatures, possibly worse pets than slugs...

They do make a lot of mess, I guess you'd have them penned off somewhere and just let them through the garden for a few hours a day.

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know

I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards

Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks?"

Now you’re getting very technical. Surely that would just encourage more. Where do they all come from?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?"

My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"A slug is just a homeless snail...

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!

..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it.."

I got it ... and it made me laugh!!

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By *rs C and Mr CCouple
over a year ago

North East

"Wait.....you went into your house at 20.40. The slugs are in your house?!?

I have had slugs inside my house, the little bastards.

I did once and I stood on it barefoot

I did this too at 4am.... bork.... It was huge... I now have a genuine phobia of them

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By *ebjonnson OP Man
over a year ago

Maldon

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?

My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!

I was missing you but now you’ve lost me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A slug is just a homeless snail...

That was the whole premise of my joke further up!!!!

..you know..i wondered if anyone actuallly got it..

I got it ... and it made me laugh!! "

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?

My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!

I call my cat 'Mr Fluffy Pants' for the same reason. Not in the garden obviously, don't want to ruin his street cried with the other cats!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?

My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!

I was missing you but now you’ve lost me?"

She was very fluffy - and slugs got stuck round her nether regions, that's all you need to know!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Slugs are ghastly, my cat used to get them stuck in her knickers!

Welcome back. You have a cat that wears knickers?

My last cat had fluffy coullotes ready installed!

I call my cat 'Mr Fluffy Pants' for the same reason. Not in the garden obviously, don't want to ruin his street cried with the other cats!! "

Exactly, you would recognise Mrs Fluffy Knickers!

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By *ilthyStrumpetCouple
over a year ago

Trowbridge

Poor sluggers

Stepped on a few accidentally, the guilt was real.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having chickens helps, they make light work of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are horrible people. Slugs have feelings too you know

I know, that’s why I agonised for years but enough is enough. Now I just kill the bastards

Can't you make them a little slug pasture, with lambs lettuce and hollyhocks?

Now you’re getting very technical. Surely that would just encourage more. Where do they all come from?"

Mummy slugs.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Consider collecting them and taking them for a holiday. Moving them short distances can just mean that they'll return. A few miles works though - maybe some rough ground, where they can mix with other wildlife

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