FabSwingers.com forum: "its a swingers site not a casual sex site"

By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

People say this a lot on here and it's always puzzled me.

Surely it's both. Swingers are people who have non monogamous sex with people with whom they are not in relationships. = casual sex.

I appreciate some people on here do like to build some sort of relationship with the people with whom they have sex, but aren't they poly rather than swingers?

I would be interested in other people's definitions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long have you got?.......stand by for another 173 definitions....

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What about casual swingers opposed to hardened swingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only meet one person at a time, which often lasts for months. I do not view this meeting as a relationship, I still define it as casual sex, no promise of any future.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think there are some out there that equate "casual sex" as somehow tawdry as in "sleeping around" and being promiscuous, whereas "swinging" is somehow elevated above that in their minds - particularly in some couples where swinging is seen as a joint activity no different from any other.

Ultimately though OP you are of course right in that there is no real difference between the two things, or certainly isn't in my mind when it comes to the swinging scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please! "

Start your own thread, don't hijack other threads, you will get a better response

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please! "

Best tip, 2 actually....

Search for all the other "help" threads.

Start a "help" thread of your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im just here to have a good crack

Enything more is simply a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go and read the other threads/post where some say it’s neither.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I think there are some out there that equate "casual sex" as somehow tawdry as in "sleeping around" and being promiscuous, whereas "swinging" is somehow elevated above that in their minds - particularly in some couples where swinging is seen as a joint activity no different from any other.

Ultimately though OP you are of course right in that there is no real difference between the two things, or certainly isn't in my mind when it comes to the swinging scene."

Pretty much agree. I see swinging as a type of casual sex. The difference with other casual sex being that that there are usually more than two people involved.

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

Well that told us!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day, it's what ever people want to make it, I met my ex on here, it was casual sex at first, but then we found we had developed real feelings for each other, which lead to a seven year relationship and nearly getting married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our minds it a sex site, nothing more, nothing less. Others see it differently, that's cool too! It's what YOU want it to be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

'Fab Swingers is a community space for swingers in the UK, USA and other English-speaking countries. It features profiles, blogs, groups and the features you'd expect from a high quality social networking site'. "
i would agree with this due to finding it hard to get anywhere due to my spelling and more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

'Fab Swingers is a community space for swingers in the UK, USA and other English-speaking countries. It features profiles, blogs, groups and the features you'd expect from a high quality social networking site'. i would agree with this due to finding it hard to get anywhere due to my spelling and more.

Your spelling won’t be stopping you getting a meet.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

DubiousOatcake is a 6’2” Adonis with rippling muscles and an all over tan. His facial features appeal to everyone, and he has the irresistible personality you’d expect from someone with his pick of the ladies.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I often refer to casual sex because that's how I term what we're doing. How other people refer to it is up to them. I think for some it is an actual lifestyle, in that their social life and sex life revolves around swinging. I can see how they might take exception to it being referred to as casual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told it was a fuck site recently and that I should fuck people I'm not attracted to.

I told them that's what prostitutes do and I don't charge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is neither a swingers site or a casual sex site.

Fab describes itself as:

'Fab Swingers is a community space for swingers in the UK, USA and other English-speaking countries. It features profiles, blogs, groups and the features you'd expect from a high quality social networking site'. i would agree with this due to finding it hard to get anywhere due to my spelling and more.

Your spelling won’t be stopping you getting a meet. "

It does put people off; there's plenty of threads about it and a nationwide survey was done too.

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I often refer to casual sex because that's how I term what we're doing. How other people refer to it is up to them. I think for some it is an actual lifestyle, in that their social life and sex life revolves around swinging. I can see how they might take exception to it being referred to as casual. "

I would say the people who view swinging like that are a small minority. Isn't it the case that for most people on here we have sex with other people a few times a year?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I would say the people who view swinging like that are a small minority. Isn't it the case that for most people on here we have sex with other people a few times a year? "

I think they're in the minority too but I suspect that swinging has broadened out to be much more than it was originally. The people who see it as a lifestyle possibly feel they've seen their pastime taken over by those of us who view it as casual sex.

Ultimately isn't it down to semantics?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

I would say the people who view swinging like that are a small minority. Isn't it the case that for most people on here we have sex with other people a few times a year?

Ultimately isn't it down to semantics? "

Possibly, a bit like us hardcore football fans who used to watch it when it was deeply unfashionable who now resent the Sky generation

As you say it is mainly semantic, but for me the great dividing line is between monogamous and non monogamous. The rest is just detail.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Generally, when people refuse to meet in public / tell me their name / send me a photo of their face / be civil / have manners / [insert as appropriate], they explain that by "what kind of a site this is". To this, I have only one answer: I do not own this site, it does not own me, I am not employed by it and I am not "on here" - I am my own person with a life and will do with that life what I see fit.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The other thing that comes into play as part of the semantics angle is how you define "casual sex" - different people place different connotations on it, ultimately though as you say it's all the same thing and comes down to individual viewpoints more than anything

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please!

Start your own thread, don't hijack other threads, you will get a better response

That's not a fab rule. Loads highjack threads. It's common place on here

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"The other thing that comes into play as part of the semantics angle is how you define "casual sex" - different people place different connotations on it, ultimately though as you say it's all the same thing and comes down to individual viewpoints more than anything "

Perhaps "recreational sex" would be better...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some folk like to see what makes a fella tick and not the angle trajectories of his average pepperoni..

I get that ,its like weighing up the flava

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please!

Start your own thread, don't hijack other threads, you will get a better response

That's not a fab rule. Loads highjack threads. It's common place on here

Actually, it's a rule, albeit of thumb, for just about every forum you'll experience.

It's considered bad form to hijack other people's threads....

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

North Wessex Downs

When I was at University four friends and I had sex fairly regularly together (as MFMF, MFM, MF, MFF or very occasionally MFMFF) over a period of four years, and dated each other as well. We're still (vanilla) friends now, and never really viewed our playtime as particularly casual. Question - were we swingers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabs is not a swingers site, it is a site where some are swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As you say it is mainly semantic, but for me the great dividing line is between monogamous and non monogamous. The rest is just detail. "

Agree. I would throw honesty with your partners into it as well. If you are non monogamous but cheating on any of your partners you are not swinging. It's a fundimental part of swinging that those you are having relationships with know and give permission for you to play with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was at University four friends and I had sex fairly regularly together (as MFMF, MFM, MF, MFF or very occasionally MFMFF) over a period of four years, and dated each other as well. We're still (vanilla) friends now, and never really viewed our playtime as particularly casual. Question - were we swingers?"

.........which University?.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately though OP you are of course right in that there is no real difference between the two things, or certainly isn't in my mind when it comes to the swinging scene."

Seems to be an elitist hierarchy, perhaps to ease guilt complexes.

People do things differently so as per the OP I think the site encompasses a range from fuck n go to fwb/ poly relationships.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"As you say it is mainly semantic, but for me the great dividing line is between monogamous and non monogamous. The rest is just detail. "

I’m not monogamous but I’m told that, by virtue of being a single male who doesn’t (yet) meet couples, I’m not a swinger.

Detail is everything.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"What about casual swingers opposed to hardened swingers"

It's the professionals that you need to watch out for!

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By *aggie and DanCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"People say this a lot on here and it's always puzzled me.

Surely it's both. Swingers are people who have non monogamous sex with people with whom they are not in relationships. = casual sex.

I appreciate some people on here do like to build some sort of relationship with the people with whom they have sex, but aren't they poly rather than swingers?

I would be interested in other people's definitions... "

Does it matter?

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

It is whatever you want it to be, choose to use it as you feel fit

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

This site is merely a tool for people to use as they wish within site rules.

Some use it to look for meets.

Others use it to stay in touch with like minded friends.

Some use it to dream.

Some use it for just the forums.

It is and is not a sex site.

It is and is not a swingers site.

It is and it not a social networking site.

It is whatever we use it for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about casual swingers opposed to hardened swingers"

I might change my username to Hardened-Jim.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How long have you got?.......stand by for another 173 definitions....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think of it a a Social Networking Site to talk to and meet people of like mind who wont fit into the 'norm' as regards discussion subjects or physical meets when compared to the usual social networking sites.

My opinion anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think of it a a Social Networking Site to talk to and meet people of like mind who wont fit into the 'norm' as regards discussion subjects or physical meets when compared to the usual social networking sites.

My opinion anyway."

My view ‘swings’ towards how you describe the forum.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

I suppose it is both a casual sex and a swinger site.

However the casual sex bit seems to confuse a lot of the single guys who seem to think that casual sex = free prostitute.

They also assume that women and couples on here will fuck anything with a dick and a pulse, and get all uppity when they get a knock back.

That doesn't refer to all of you but a good number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How are you single guys finding fab? Any hints & tips about woooooing the ladies please!

Start your own thread, don't hijack other threads, you will get a better response

That's not a fab rule. Loads highjack threads. It's common place on here

I did not say at any point it was a fab rule. It was a suggestion to open his own thread, to enhance his chances of getting more personal response

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Swinging is about sharing.

Partners, and pleasure.

Casual sex is generally more selfish, only caring about your own orgasm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging is about sharing.

Partners, and pleasure.

Casual sex is generally more selfish, only caring about your own orgasm.

Google 'casual sex'. Nowhere does it suggest selfishness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think swinging does = casual sex. Iv never really bothered what others think it means.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Swinging is about sharing.

Partners, and pleasure.

Casual sex is generally more selfish, only caring about your own orgasm.

Google 'casual sex'. Nowhere does it suggest selfishness. "

The original post was asking for definitions of the difference between swinging and casual sex.

I agree with your point that casual doesn't mean selfish.

But I was equating casual with those insta-shag faf fuck-bois who get upset that they don't get laid within days of joining.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"But I was equating casual with those insta-shag faf fuck-bois who get upset that they don't get laid within days of joining."

So, you’re equating casual sex to not having sex? Or are you just trying to back out of your ridiculous, baseless comment? I can’t wait to see where this goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say it’s pretty similar, but I also see why others don’t. Recreational sex does sound so much better!

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

"I only meet one person at a time, which often lasts for months. I do not view this meeting as a relationship, I still define it as casual sex, no promise of any future."

See, I read this and thought you must have a dungeon or something where you keep them before releasing them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say the site is whatever you want it to be and whatever works for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No comment as can’t get a meet how ever hard I try

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"But I was equating casual with those insta-shag faf fuck-bois who get upset that they don't get laid within days of joining.

So, you’re equating casual sex to not having sex? Or are you just trying to back out of your ridiculous, baseless comment? I can’t wait to see where this goes."

I was trying to give my opinion on the original post. Badly worded, maybe, but the question is the difference between swinging and casual sex.

I believe that a swinging attitude and a 'casual' attitude are different, sharing vs selfish, even if the meet is identical.

Casual is not my choice of word, but from the context of the post, I believe the OP meant it in the fuckboi sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it can be whatever you want it to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only meet one person at a time, which often lasts for months. I do not view this meeting as a relationship, I still define it as casual sex, no promise of any future."

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I think ‘recreational’sex is the key word!

Also (for me anyway) I find if I meet a person (or couple) from a swinging capacity I’m much more likely to keep in touch/make arrangements with/go to functions with than someone I met on say, tinder, that I wouldn’t speak to again after the sex as that’s where our common ground ends.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I was trying to give my opinion on the original post. Badly worded, maybe, but the question is the difference between swinging and casual sex.

I believe that a swinging attitude and a 'casual' attitude are different, sharing vs selfish, even if the meet is identical.

Casual is not my choice of word, but from the context of the post, I believe the OP meant it in the fuckboi sense."

It strikes me that you’re rather going in circles with this, chasing your own tail. Whatever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll use the site how I see fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll use the site how I see fit."

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

There are always someone people trying to put everyone in to boxes (and not in the fun kinky way)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No comment as can’t get a meet how ever hard I try"

I've said this before ..here I go again !

A half decent bloke does NOT need here for a shag , the main two free dating sites got me that much fanny I couldn't care less about a hump on here and that's before I mention being a bouncer and the ladies I met that had a bouncer fantasy.. I fucking couldn't cope with it all

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's a social engagement site that has some users also interact sexually. It's whatever you personally are making it for yourselves today. Tomorrow's another day.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

It’s whatever you want to make it as long as you are straight with people.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"No comment as can’t get a meet how ever hard I try

I've said this before ..here I go again !

That’s all lovely. In your view, do fully decent blokes still have to rely on websites and women fetishising their job? Do fully decent blokes refer to their interaction with women as ‘getting fanny’?

Hang on until I find my pen, I need to take notes to fully learn from such a magnificent specimen as yourself.

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