FabSwingers.com forum: Hit Me With Your Best Shot

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm much funnier when d*unk. Good with the one liners....

What's your best joke

Prize for the funniest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*drum rolls* my sex life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a sleeping woodsman?

A slumberjack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilised

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

What does Darth Vader spray on his armpits?

De-Yoda-rant

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By *aptain ScarlettWoman
over a year ago

swansea

My best shot is tequila right now!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the cannibal say after eating the clown?

....

It tasted a bit funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the chicken cross the playpark?

To get to the other slide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rubbed some herbs into my eyes and now I’m parsley sighted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eye

A fsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nock nock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*drum rolls* my sex life!"

I don’t believe this for one minute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Crème egg?

You can lick out a crème egg for 65p

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By *antasticMrFucksMan
over a year ago

Taunton

What's e.t short for ......

Because he only has little legs

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed

"
seen what you did there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*drum rolls* my sex life!

I don’t believe this for one minute "

I wish I was joking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock Knock

Who's there

Europe

Xxx

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I opened a new box of animal crackers the other day.

It said on the cover “don’t eat if seal is broken”. I checked the shapes, it was.

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By *harma and GregCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a boogie in it.

(Daughters joke stolen)

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I almost got caught stealing a load of swimming pool inflatables

I'd better lilo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two monkeys in the bath one Goes ooooh ooooh aaah aaah. The other one says put some cold in if it's to hot

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Ive just broken two of my old Queen records

Now I want to break free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two dyslexics in a kitchen one says can you smell gas the other one says I can't even smell my own name

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

Banana and orange at a bar..

Banana turns to orange and says ...Your Round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To muffins in an oven. First muffins says To the other,"OMG is hot in here", second muffins says,"OMG a talking muffin!"..

Drum roll/cymbal crash, I thank you. Stolen from my son this evening

Mistress Amelia x

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By *emplarWarriorMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

I know lots of jokes about cash machnes

I just cant think of one ATM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate used to live in a tyre but he got a puncture now he lives in a flat

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

What do you call a dog with no legs

It doesn't matter as he won't come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a dog with no legs

It doesn't matter as he won't come

"
that's that's so cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a dog with no legs

It doesn't matter as he won't come

"
or woodbine, you take it out for a drag every morning

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

Two goldfish in a tank..

One turns to other and says..you know how to drive this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are ghosts so popular at parties?

Because they bring all the boo's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos."

People have jokes tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no legs and no eyes?

still no idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know lots of jokes about cash machnes

I just cant think of one ATM"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

cliff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

cliff"

It’s an oldie, but a goodie...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did the chicken cross the playpark?

To get to the other slide. "

Hehe, love it!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why are ghosts so popular at parties?

Because they bring all the boo's"

Haha, winner! Made me smudge my eye make up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed

Ooooh clever joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does a person with 2 left feet wear to the beach?

Flip flips

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

"what do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

cliff"

Car on his head....Jack

Women between 2 posts...Annette.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff. tequila

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gas hahahahahaaaaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are ghosts so popular at parties?

Because they bring all the boo's

Haha, winner! Made me smudge my eye make up

Got there in the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman with 1 leg? Ilene!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos."

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By *ames_dieselMan
over a year ago

London

I went to the zoo the other day and saw a baguette in a cage.

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nun decides to have a bath when all the nuns in the convent go out for the day, suddenly there's a knock at the door , she shouts "who is it? a male voice says "its the blind man from the village" so she gets out of the bath and thinks well I don't need a towel so she answers the door bollock naked the man replies "nice tits , where do you want your blind"

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By *ames_dieselMan
over a year ago

London

A vegan said to me: “People who sell meat are disgusting”

I replied: “People who sell fruit and veg are grocer.“

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By *ames_dieselMan
over a year ago

London

I'm struggling to finish the script for my new Porn Movie.

There's just too many holes in the plot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why deed the mexeecan thow his wife of thee cliif

Taquila

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By *ames_dieselMan
over a year ago

London

Bloody autocorrect strikes again.

The other day I sent my best mate a text saying 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river?'

I mean, how embarrassing.

I meant 'canal'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm much funnier when d*unk. Good with the one liners....

What's your best joke

Prize for the funniest

Okay, how many perverts does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes all of A&E to get it out!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two beagles are caged up in a research laboratory , one says fuck this I'm escaping out of here the other one says good luck . Well the beagle wakes up to find his mate has escaped and thinks great he's got away, anyway next morning he wakes up to find his mate back in his cage , he says to him "did you get captured ? No mate I was dying for a fag

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By *OOM696969Man
over a year ago

BRIDLINGTON

"Bloody autocorrect strikes again.

The other day I sent my best mate a text saying 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river?'

I mean, how embarrassing.

I meant 'canal'"

that made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Girl goes for a boob job

Doctors says first il have to numb your boob

She takes off her top

Ha puts his head to her tits and goes num num num num num

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?

Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the semen cross the road?

Because you wore the wrong socks today

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Roger Daltrey of The

You can finish this joke of needed!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Masochist - Hit me! Hit Me!

Sadist - No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit myself this morning. Thought I saw a baby ghost. Phew it was a hanky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s got 2 wings and a halo.

Chinese phone wing wing halo

Sad but I love that joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman who sets fire to her Post?

Bernadette

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