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Should I be honest or not?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ive just updated my profile and for the the first included that I suffer from anxiety and a lack of confidence. I was just wanting some feedback as to whether I should have done this or not. Is honestly the best policy or should I try and act confident even though I'm not.

Basically I am I putting putting people off me by saying this?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I tell people stuff on a need to know basis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could put people off. It could also attract the type of people that will take advantage of you. They will prey on your weaknesses.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire


"Ive just updated my profile and for the the first included that I suffer from anxiety and a lack of confidence. I was just wanting some feedback as to whether I should have done this or not. Is honestly the best policy or should I try and act confident even though I'm not. Basically I am I putting putting people off me by saying this?"

.

It’s a tricky one. I’m open and honest about my depression and anxiety, and talk about it to pretty much anyone if it comes up, but I worry that, by having it in your profile, you’re presenting it as something which defines you, as opposed to something that happens to you. There’s a difference, in my book, between being honest about something, and actually advertising it in your profile.

.

Out of interest, have you had a bad experience telling somebody directly, when it feels like the right time? Is that the catalyst for adding it to your profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could put people off. It could also attract the type of people that will take advantage of you. They will prey on your weaknesses. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't put it on my profile but would drop it I to conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single male you're already up against a challenge, as a single male with no public pictures that's another thing against you, as a single male that has anxiety and confidence issues, displaying that is only going to put you even further at the back of the queue.

I would reserve that information for someone that you're talking with personally with the view to meeting.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Ive just updated my profile and for the the first included that I suffer from anxiety and a lack of confidence. I was just wanting some feedback as to whether I should have done this or not. Is honestly the best policy or should I try and act confident even though I'm not.

Basically I am I putting putting people off me by saying this?

"

I wouldn’t bother saying it. I hardly ever initiate messages anyway and I’m not the slightest bit unconfident.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you tell people in a pub? If you just got chatting is it the first thing you say?

I'd suggest it's probably something you only need to share with those who matter, not the whole place.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

It’s hard to say. I’m pretty open on mine your particular situation is quite different but I don’t see it as a bad thing. Just filter out who you don’t want to meet and just chat to people on here. Thier are a huge anount of really good people on here

I admire you for your honesty that’s for sure

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"Ive just updated my profile and for the the first included that I suffer from anxiety and a lack of confidence. I was just wanting some feedback as to whether I should have done this or not. Is honestly the best policy or should I try and act confident even though I'm not.

Basically I am I putting putting people off me by saying this?

"

Honest truth is that it will lessen your chances. The odds are against single men anyway and women and couples can pick and choose. Anything that suggests you might be "hard work" will lead them to move on to the next profile.

I appreciate that your problems are not your fault and I do admire your honesty. However, this is a casual sex site where by and large people are judged on a very shallow basis.

Having had some experience of mental health issues and knowing how much rejection single guys get on here, I would consider carefully whether being on here is good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what you want from the site, I'd say.

If you're just here for sex and absolutely nothing else, then maybe it's irrelevant information to your target group. Except insofar as they might think it more likely that you would stand them up, get cold feet etc.

If you're here looking for a bit more, i.e. people you can actually get along with, then personally I think it's fine to include that kind of information about yourself.

I think that trying to act confident etc is a good strategy in general with anxiety. One way of getting over all kinds of things is to act as if you have already done so. It's a psychological technique which can work well for some. But maybe not on Fab as people could be harsh if you pretend to be something you're not.

As always here, some might be put off and others attracted. I'm a lifelong sufferer myself so I would see it as a point of common ground.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My mate on here wasn’t getting any meets until I told her to loose her “leaky anus” observation. “Just being honest” she declared. After that.....clunge filled regularly.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Personally I would save it until it needs to be mentioned. There are too many on here who might try to take advantage of your honesty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok I think I'll remove it. My thinking behind it was that it might humanize me and hopefully attract the more kind, caring women on here but I think I've probably misjudged it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not even honest about the sort of things Im into never mind anything else..

Dont give others the means with which to bring you down, it may end badly

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