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Things kids say

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/04/18 12:12:57]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So on Thursday I brought my 11yr old God daughter shopping for her birthday. We were having a great day shopping. We decided to stop in a little cafe for lunch. I should mention here she has asd.

She turns to the lady at the next table. Says to her excuse me but are you eating fish. The lady politely tells her no love I'm not. To which she replies then I think you need to wash your vagina. I was scarlet. Usually it wouldn't bother me but the lady in question nearly chocked on what she was eating.

Turned out her mother had been having a chat with her about how she needed to start washing herself everyday or he privates would start smelling fishy and no one would want to sit beside her.

I can laugh how about it but couldn't at the time. So me tell what's the funniest thing you heard a child say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter is a vegetarian. On taking my granddaughter to a petting zoo when she was very small she pointed to a rabbit and said 'dinner'. Pure brilliance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was watching Jeremy Kyle last week ( kids on holidays) and just happened to be on and the youngest started laughing. Asked him what was so funny and he pointed to one of the loo las and said look “ he’s after getting all dressed up to be exposed”. Thought was brilliant. Then he went back to playing the Xbox

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

Not something my son had said but something he did he is only 5, was a bit funny, we had gone shopping parked up, there was and older women sit in the passenger side of a low car can't remember what kind, with the windows open, my son decided to pop his head in the drivers side and say hello gave the woman a bit of a fight but was a bit funny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum was a primary school teacher. One of her kids had brothers called Mark and Kevin and would recite the Lord's Prayer "Our Father, and Mark and Kevin.."

OP is a winner though, that's hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mum was a primary school teacher. One of her kids had brothers called Mark and Kevin and would recite the Lord's Prayer "Our Father, and Mark and Kevin.."

OP is a winner though, that's hilarious "

So funny

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Omg OP, I bet you wanted the world to swallow you up!

When I was in the paint aisle in b&q with my daughter. Pointing to each tin 'Crown, Crown, Crown, Crown, Crown, Durex, Durex, Durex, Durex'

Behind a large lady getting on a bus my son, about 5 at the time said 'Does that lady need to go on a diet?'

New to the area, incited a lady round with her hubby for dinner both had 2 year olds, her husband is quite prim. It went really quiet my son just starts saying 'piss off' constantly for what seemed like ages. A bit embarrassing!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was so embarrassed. I didn't know what to say and couldn't actually say anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember years back on the bus with my grandson he was about 5 at the time, A midget on the bus got up to get off and he said Nanna if we get off too and follow him we might be able to get to see Willy Wonka # ground open up and swallow me please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago at my nans 80th birthday my nephew said very loudly for all to hear, "mummy,mummy why hasn't that lady got any legs". He was talking about my nans sister who was in a wheelchair minus lower limbs.

I was just glad it wasn't one of my kids that said it. My sister went very red.

XXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remember years back on the bus with my grandson he was about 5 at the time, A midget on the bus got up to get off and he said Nanna if we get off too and follow him we might be able to get to see Willy Wonka # ground open up and swallow me please "

Oh god I'd have been mortified

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

I went to a funeral the other week, it was my brothers girlfriend, he has two kids with her, we went to the after party where his two kids were we took are two kids there, we tryed to explain what had happened, the all of a sudden you could here one of my kids say.. It was a crowed pub well what was said, was there mother has died I wanted the ground to open up x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one of my sons said to the woman next door I had a plastic willy. think he was 6 at the time.

sam x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I went to a funeral the other week, it was my brothers girlfriend, he has two kids with her, we went to the after party where his two kids were we took are two kids there, we tryed to explain what had happened, the all of a sudden you could here one of my kids say.. It was a crowed pub well what was said, was there mother has died I wanted the ground to open up x"

Oh I can imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on a bus with my niece when she asked rather loudly if the person sat opposite us was a man or a lady. I didn't know!! She insisted on continually asking despite me trying to distract her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my eldest was around 3 we took him to see Fred's Dad and meet his wife. As the Father in law has been pretty much absent for the last 40 years we were surprised at just how well the day went and how well we got on, now the new wife looked very much like Grace Jones and just as we were about to leave, my 3 year old in saying his goodbyes came to her and said "you're a black a man okay" well I flushed red, not sure which was worse, the fact that he thought she was a man or he'd mentioned her skin colour. Thankfully she's a lovely lady and didn't seem to be insulted.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some of these ate very funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When one of my sisters was still in primary school, it was world book day. She dressed up as the girl from ‘When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit’.

At school, when asked who she was, she told everyone she was a Nazi

I work with children aged 4-12, so I hear crazy things everyday. Used to work with 0-5 year olds, they can be grim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a very long debate with my 3 year-old Nephew that boxer shorts weren’t called “box of shorts”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum was driving my very young niece to play-school, one morning. There was a colourful sunrise, so mum explained about the saying

"Red sky at night, shepherds delight,

Red sky in the morning, shepherds warning"...

A little voice from the back seat, piped up:

"Red sky at dinnertime, shepherds pie!"

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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Me and my friend took our kids to pizza hut a few months back and there was a small person working as our waiter my son turned and asked him why he was so small and that he was bigger than the man the man explained why but with my son having learning disabilities he proceeded to follow the man down the restaurant shouting look everyone look at the size of this little man I bigger than him I've never a my meal so quick to get out was so embarrassed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Me and my friend took our kids to pizza hut a few months back and there was a small person working as our waiter my son turned and asked him why he was so small and that he was bigger than the man the man explained why but with my son having learning disabilities he proceeded to follow the man down the restaurant shouting look everyone look at the size of this little man I bigger than him I've never a my meal so quick to get out was so embarrassed "

They really can come out with anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a very long debate with my 3 year-old Nephew that boxer shorts weren’t called “box of shorts”. "

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By *ucy. AlCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Me and my friend took our kids to pizza hut a few months back and there was a small person working as our waiter my son turned and asked him why he was so small and that he was bigger than the man the man explained why but with my son having learning disabilities he proceeded to follow the man down the restaurant shouting look everyone look at the size of this little man I bigger than him I've never a my meal so quick to get out was so embarrassed

They really can come out with anything."

Yip my middle child got on the bus home from school one day and at the top of her voice she shouted mam the bus really stinks of b.o with all the high school kids on could they not have got a different bus the mingers I told her to shut up but she said mam but it does really stink lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So today while in the doctors one of my kids turn to the doctor and asks can you have a look at my brothers butt as he is always talking shit. I went scarlet and it didn't help that the doctor found it no way funny. Apparently it's something that an older boy in school says to my sun

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