FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

I need someone to talk to

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've not had a good night last night and it's really got me down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what happened pal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got any friends or family near by that you can chat too ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"what happened pal"

Went to Cupids last night, a friend of mine wasn't able to make it, started feeling depressed after a few hours as it was a very busy night and I had no one to talk to which made me feel isolated and alone and then started walking back to the hotel after 11pm upset and depressed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U ok hun xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

You could have introduced yourself to people at Cupid’s surely

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have you got any friends or family near by that you can chat too ?

"

Apart from my friends on fab, no and I don't tell my parents on what I do on Fab

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what happened pal

Went to Cupids last night, a friend of mine wasn't able to make it, started feeling depressed after a few hours as it was a very busy night and I had no one to talk to which made me feel isolated and alone and then started walking back to the hotel after 11pm upset and depressed"

If it was busy couldn’t you find a social group to join and chat too ?

I’m guessing you have been before so wasn’t there regulars you can chat with ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You could have introduced yourself to people at Cupid’s surely

X"

With me having Asperger's, it's very difficult

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"what happened pal

Went to Cupids last night, a friend of mine wasn't able to make it, started feeling depressed after a few hours as it was a very busy night and I had no one to talk to which made me feel isolated and alone and then started walking back to the hotel after 11pm upset and depressed

If it was busy couldn’t you find a social group to join and chat too ?

I’m guessing you have been before so wasn’t there regulars you can chat with ? "

I tried to but couldn't say anything. Yeah I have been before but couldn't find any regulars either

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i actually watched a louis theroux documentary on swingers last night, he attended a house party with a female friend, she left him to have sex with other people and he said the party was passing him by as he sat watching all the small groups chatting, hardest thing to do is try an introduce yourself into a group, i tried it at the townhouse a while back and was totally ignored, i feel your pain mate, when you don’t know anyone you just feel isolated and the urge to leave increases, that’s what i did in the end.

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If not getting a shag at a swing club brings on anxiety then your up shit creek,iv had anxiety and drepression,iv learned to stay away from things that brought it on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know "

I wasn't expecting sex, I just wanted a friend to hang out with for the night. Like I said I have Asperger's which makes socialising almost impossible

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know "

Thats a bit unfair as op has aspergers, its more difficult for him to interact with strangers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i actually watched a louis theroux documentary on swingers last night, he attended a house party with a female friend, she left him to have sex with other people and he said the party was passing him by as he sat watching all the small groups chatting, hardest thing to do is try an introduce yourself into a group, i tried it at the townhouse a while back and was totally ignored, i feel your pain mate, when you don’t know anyone you just feel isolated and the urge to leave increases, that’s what i did in the end.

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club."

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

Thats a bit unfair as op has aspergers, its more difficult for him to interact with strangers"

I do feel for him but....its up to other people wether they talk to him or not,its not other peoples fault he has aspergers,if he feels alone or isolated he needs professional guidance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear that buddy . I understand the difficulties you can face having asburgers and how it can make things harder to socialise .

I hope you have the courage to go again with a group who you know and feel comfortable with

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules"

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Firstly, we'll done for going out there and putting yourself in a challenging situation despite your Aspergers. I know a lot of people wouldn't step outside their comfort zone quite so easily.

This has happened before I feel so perhaps you need to look at coping techniques for when your friend doesn't show up to stop you from feeling so bad when it happens.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting. "

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Well you now know it's not a good idea to go alone,but you never know your next visit could be great. I would never go alone as I'm not the best at throwing myself into other people's conversations if I don't know them so don't worry.

Many guys wouldn't have gone alone in the first place so you did well doing that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Firstly, we'll done for going out there and putting yourself in a challenging situation despite your Aspergers. I know a lot of people wouldn't step outside their comfort zone quite so easily.

This has happened before I feel so perhaps you need to look at coping techniques for when your friend doesn't show up to stop you from feeling so bad when it happens. "

I wish I could think of coping techniques but for some reason when I feel sad and depressed, I just end up sitting there and lose interest of doing anything

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

Thats a bit unfair as op has aspergers, its more difficult for him to interact with strangers"

Yeah sorry, I didn't read his post about that until after I had posted.

Although I've heard of it, I'm not fully clued up on what Asperger's actually is. I'll go and have a read up on it now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Thats a shame buddy. On the surface it looks like youre quite regular and popular at cupids so it may surprise your friends to know whats going on inside you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Townhouse has now set up a buddy system on a Wednesday on there newbie and not so night why don't you give that a go. The buddy will show you around and talk to you and introduce you to other members x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already"

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I wasn't expecting sex, I just wanted a friend to hang out with for the night. Like I said I have Asperger's which makes socialising almost impossible "

Ok buddy, I get your drift now, my apologies, I posted before I read of your condition.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

Well you don’t seem to have much problem getting meets luv. Going on the verifications you have

Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to read this. You have some great verifications and clearly a popular guy.

I hate the next day after a rubbish night as I tend to relive it repeatedly- making myself feel worse than ever.

Can you do anything to help yourself feel better today? Something you enjoy? X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you? "

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I wasn't expecting sex, I just wanted a friend to hang out with for the night. Like I said I have Asperger's which makes socialising almost impossible

Ok buddy, I get your drift now, my apologies, I posted before I read of your condition. "

It's ok. No problem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow "

No offence but walking round walkden won't lift your spirits

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow "

That sounds like a good plan. I enjoy choosing cards, some really make me smile. xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow

No offence but walking round walkden won't lift your spirits "

I like going round the shops there as it brings back childhood memories there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’ve had this same situation too OP. the girl who was particularly rude to me (turned her back on me when I smiled st her) still makes me mad when I see her name on the forums. But that is all it was... a bad night... get back on your horse and ride... your confidence will grow with each visit xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow

That sounds like a good plan. I enjoy choosing cards, some really make me smile. xx"

Yeah. It is nice seeing what cards I can find

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’ve had this same situation too OP. the girl who was particularly rude to me (turned her back on me when I smiled st her) still makes me mad when I see her name on the forums. But that is all it was... a bad night... get back on your horse and ride... your confidence will grow with each visit xx"

Hopefully it will do on my next visit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow

That sounds like a good plan. I enjoy choosing cards, some really make me smile. xx"

Me and my cousins have sent some highly amusing ones to each other over the years

The black & white ones with random text at the bottom are funny as

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that mate. Try and learn from it and put it behind you. Think of what you might do differently and see if you can get an element of control/ structure should it happen again. Maybe chat to a group here and explain that you may want someone to make the first move (in a friendly way) if it happens again.

I guess your friend not showing heightened your anxiety making it even more difficult for you

What can you do today to cheer yourself up? Sunshine works for me. If not music/ chocolate.

And actually anxiety or not I think you're pretty brave going on your own anyway. I'm a confident guy but I'd be nervous going to my first social

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm just popping off to have a brief kip. I should be back on later

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think going alone to a club can be hard for a lot of people. I think you're brave to go along. And it's great it's a place you feel safe to explore. I think it's important to remember as well that even people who are more comfortable in social situations have similar experiences in clubs.

I hope that today is a better day for you x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think going alone to a club can be hard for a lot of people. I think you're brave to go along. And it's great it's a place you feel safe to explore. I think it's important to remember as well that even people who are more comfortable in social situations have similar experiences in clubs.

I hope that today is a better day for you x

"

I hope so too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Sorry to hear that mate. Try and learn from it and put it behind you. Think of what you might do differently and see if you can get an element of control/ structure should it happen again. Maybe chat to a group here and explain that you may want someone to make the first move (in a friendly way) if it happens again.

I guess your friend not showing heightened your anxiety making it even more difficult for you

What can you do today to cheer yourself up? Sunshine works for me. If not music/ chocolate.

And actually anxiety or not I think you're pretty brave going on your own anyway. I'm a confident guy but I'd be nervous going to my first social "

That's a nice reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sorry to hear that mate. Try and learn from it and put it behind you. Think of what you might do differently and see if you can get an element of control/ structure should it happen again. Maybe chat to a group here and explain that you may want someone to make the first move (in a friendly way) if it happens again.

I guess your friend not showing heightened your anxiety making it even more difficult for you

What can you do today to cheer yourself up? Sunshine works for me. If not music/ chocolate.

And actually anxiety or not I think you're pretty brave going on your own anyway. I'm a confident guy but I'd be nervous going to my first social

That's a nice reply."

Yeah. I do feel proud of going on my own since I first started going last year. Perhaps going round doing some shopping for myself while listening to some music will help me feel better

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club.

I'll do my best not to stress about but can't help but worry that I won't be allowed back despite not breaking any rules

I know it’s easier said than done, but your fear of not being allowed back is not rational. Just sounds like a bad night. However, if it made you feel like this, is it the best place for you to go and socialise?

If you do go again, could you arrange to meet friends there or go when there is an organised social so people are more open to chatting.

I am planning on going again but will try my best not to worry. Cupids was the place that helped me become who I am today. If it weren't for the friends I made there, I would have been dead already

Worrying won’t help. Do you have plans for your day today? Something that might lift you?

I'm gonna have a look round Walkden today and see what I can find in the shops. Plus I need to find a birthday card for my brother as it's his birthday tomorrow

No offence but walking round walkden won't lift your spirits

I like going round the shops there as it brings back childhood memories there"

Ok op. Firstly, sending hugs and sorry you didn’t have a great evening. When I don’t know many people in a club I tend to stay near the bar and chat to people as they’re getting a drink - a short conversation is better than no conversation at all!

Moving forward - how about looking for/attending group socials for a while? By their very nature they’re more sociable than general club events and, because (most) people aren’t just there to chat to potential sex partners, most people are happy to chat to anyone and everyone! You may even find more friends to attend clubs with!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s great that you even went in the first place. You should be see that as an achievement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Hi Op. Sorry you didn't have a good night, it goes like that sometimes. I'm sure your next visit will be much better. Have a good chill out day today!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/04/18 09:08:28]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think well done op for going alone as it would of been difficult for you too go without your friend ,think positive .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what happened pal

Went to Cupids last night, a friend of mine wasn't able to make it, started feeling depressed after a few hours as it was a very busy night and I had no one to talk to which made me feel isolated and alone and then started walking back to the hotel after 11pm upset and depressed"

i know that feeling i hope you start to feel better soon keep your chin up mate here a manly ((hug))

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for such love and support. It really is appreciated. Reading the last few posts have helped bring a little smile to my face

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could never go to a Club like that on my own so well done OP for getting outside your comfort zone and giving it a try.

A different night, different people and the outcome might have been different, you might have met the chattiest Kathy going!

But in the meantime, focus on the positive - that you actually went! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry to hear that mate. Try and learn from it and put it behind you. Think of what you might do differently and see if you can get an element of control/ structure should it happen again. Maybe chat to a group here and explain that you may want someone to make the first move (in a friendly way) if it happens again.

I guess your friend not showing heightened your anxiety making it even more difficult for you

What can you do today to cheer yourself up? Sunshine works for me. If not music/ chocolate.

And actually anxiety or not I think you're pretty brave going on your own anyway. I'm a confident guy but I'd be nervous going to my first social

That's a nice reply.

Yeah. I do feel proud of going on my own since I first started going last year. Perhaps going round doing some shopping for myself while listening to some music will help me feel better"

Shopping and music - perfect!

Get a nice new pair of socks or something

Take care.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for such love and support. It really is appreciated. Reading the last few posts have helped bring a little smile to my face"
your most welcome

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The Townhouse has now set up a buddy system on a Wednesday on there newbie and not so night why don't you give that a go. The buddy will show you around and talk to you and introduce you to other members x "

This is a brilliant idea and I can't for the life of me think why a) no other club does this and b) why the idea is frowned upon on the forums (fora?).

The advice on the boards is generally along the lines of a not very helpful "stop being a pansy and go" whenever someone asks about a first visit.

It's almost like clubs want less business and regulars want fewer people to meet with that attitude.

Ease people into the experience and it will surely be a much better one for all concerned?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i actually watched a louis theroux documentary on swingers last night, he attended a house party with a female friend, she left him to have sex with other people and he said the party was passing him by as he sat watching all the small groups chatting, hardest thing to do is try an introduce yourself into a group, i tried it at the townhouse a while back and was totally ignored, i feel your pain mate, when you don’t know anyone you just feel isolated and the urge to leave increases, that’s what i did in the end.

Easy to say but don’t stress over a crap night at the club."

I have talked about this on my “Diary of a new guy” thread

The space between you and other guests can feel like miles and the silence is deafening. BUT

if you let it get to you it’s always going to get you down.

You literally need to walk up to people and say “hi” trust me no couples/lady is ever gonna say ohh let’s go and talk to that awkward looking guy by himself at that point your body language is probably sending all kind of messages.

If you talking to another guy unless he is the best wingman or you secretly wanna fuck him your wasting time that can used talking to ladies

REMBER !

Every one is in a club to have exciting times so don’t let shyness get in way, if you not good at breaking the ice .PRACTISE !

Where ? Every where set yourself a mission talk to a stranger everyday and get a piece of info from them, next time your grabbing a loaf of bread skip the self service till and go to a till find lady you would consider for fun and go out of your way to make conversation, “ oh busy tonight “ “how’s your day going” your mission is to get them to make eye contact and get a piece of info. Tell me what’s the worse than gonna happen ? They grunt and ask you if you want a bag. You get your bread either way

Practise every where ! The more info you get the more points you get.

Use this skill in the club, think check out Sainsbury’s “ busy in here isn’t ”

Please back me up couples your nervous as us single guys and but feel great if someone makes the effort to break the ice ?

It’s not about confidence it’s about learning to communicate

Sx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I can relate to the whole social anxiety and anxiety stuff, and I know how it isn't as easy as just not worrying about things.

As I've said in a recent thread, I remember the start of your Cupids journey and how you've pushed past your comfort zone and got into the scene, and it's really commendable that you tried to go out by yourself last night - one of my managers always says that there's no such thing as failure, just lessons that are learnt for next time.

It's really good that you have something nice to do today.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

Next time you decide to go to Cupids contact me and if I am free I will come with you .

When I used to go to Clubs I only socialise anyway so it’s cool with me if you can respect this .

I will introduce you to a few nice people .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Next time you decide to go to Cupids contact me and if I am free I will come with you .

When I used to go to Clubs I only socialise anyway so it’s cool with me if you can respect this .

I will introduce you to a few nice people .

"

That is really sweet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know "

He had aspergers easier said than done!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

[Removed by poster at 06/04/18 10:26:26]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

He had aspergers easier said than done! "

Has not had

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"

The advice on the boards is generally along the lines of a not very helpful "stop being a pansy and go" whenever someone asks about a first visit.

"

I thought of this when I saw this thread, especially men get this "advice"

I think the good and polite advice on this thread should apply to anyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

OP, sorry you had a tough time going to a club Is never an easy thing to do espically on your own and as a single Male is double as hard! I’m no where near you or I would of come with you but maybe carry on in the forums and see if anyone is willing to come with you on a night out! There doesn’t have to be etc but at least you can speak to people..so sorry you feel upset and depressed about the situation..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

[Removed by poster at 06/04/18 10:30:09]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea


"i actually watched a louis theroux documentary on swingers last night, he attended a house party with a female friend, she left him to have sex with other people and he said the party was passing him by as he sat watching all the small groups chatting, hardest thing to do is try an introduce yourself into a group, i tried it at the townhouse a while back and was totally ignored, i feel your pain mate, when you don’t know anyone you just feel isolated and the urge to leave increases, ."

add Asperger's to the mix and all that gets molitepliyed by 10.

I no i got the same condition at op.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

OP. Well done on going to a club , especially as you have aspergers. That is a great achievement.

Some suggestions

You have a lady already kindly offering to go with you and keep you company. Lovely thing to do.

Talk to the bar staff. Let them know you find social interaction difficult and they could help introduce you.

Then practise some introduction phrases such as . Hi , I am Joe mind if I talk to you for a minute.

You can say the same thing to anybody....male, female, couple. Then think of some questions where they answer by talking not just a yes no answer. Have you been to any other clubs.

Just have little chat to a few people

Hope that helps . Message me if you want any other tips . But be proud that you are recovering ok today and you plan to go back.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Next time you decide to go to Cupids contact me and if I am free I will come with you .

When I used to go to Clubs I only socialise anyway so it’s cool with me if you can respect this .

I will introduce you to a few nice people .

"

Thank you. That would be very helpful. My next evening visit will be next month but if I might be on holiday then so it could be in June instead. I will be going again next week during the day and a friend will be there to keep me company which is good plus it will be quieter as well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know "

What a stupid comment to make

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere


"Next time you decide to go to Cupids contact me and if I am free I will come with you .

When I used to go to Clubs I only socialise anyway so it’s cool with me if you can respect this .

I will introduce you to a few nice people .

Thank you. That would be very helpful. My next evening visit will be next month but if I might be on holiday then so it could be in June instead. I will be going again next week during the day and a friend will be there to keep me company which is good plus it will be quieter as well"

I don’t get much time free and during days I work .

But it’s worth checking with few days notice and I will tell you honestly if I am free or not .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know "
a cruel, callous and totally out of order response. Just because you find it easy to socialize, not every one does, sorry mate but think before you post a comment like that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know a cruel, callous and totally out of order response. Just because you find it easy to socialize, not every one does, sorry mate but think before you post a comment like that"

I think he also has to be mindful of the times that his social skills have gone out the window at events

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op. I know it's not the same as going to a club, but if you feel you just need.to chat to someone, you are more than welcome to come over to my pub in mossley

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Next time you decide to go to Cupids contact me and if I am free I will come with you .

When I used to go to Clubs I only socialise anyway so it’s cool with me if you can respect this .

I will introduce you to a few nice people .

Thank you. That would be very helpful. My next evening visit will be next month but if I might be on holiday then so it could be in June instead. I will be going again next week during the day and a friend will be there to keep me company which is good plus it will be quieter as well

I don’t get much time free and during days I work .

But it’s worth checking with few days notice and I will tell you honestly if I am free or not .

"

Ok. I'll make sure to keep in touch

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Hi OP. Hope you're having a better day! Lots of nice people on here! Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi OP. Hope you're having a better day! Lots of nice people on here! Xx"

Hello. Yeah I am having a better day today. There sure are great people on here who have helped me quite a lot

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"Hi OP. Hope you're having a better day! Lots of nice people on here! Xx

Hello. Yeah I am having a better day today. There sure are great people on here who have helped me quite a lot "

That's good to hear! Have a good weekend.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi OP. Hope you're having a better day! Lots of nice people on here! Xx

Hello. Yeah I am having a better day today. There sure are great people on here who have helped me quite a lot

That's good to hear! Have a good weekend. "

Thanks. I will do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Only just come across this thread op, hope your feeling better today.

Here if you still want someone to listen

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Only just come across this thread op, hope your feeling better today.

Here if you still want someone to listen "

Thank you. Yeah I am feeling better today

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

I wasn't expecting sex, I just wanted a friend to hang out with for the night. Like I said I have Asperger's which makes socialising almost impossible "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear OP, you're pissed off because you couldn't pull in a swingers club? Surely you could have utilised your social skills and interacted with people? Not everyone goes there to shag ya know

What a stupid comment to make

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The advice on the boards is generally along the lines of a not very helpful "stop being a pansy and go" whenever someone asks about a first visit.

I thought of this when I saw this thread, especially men get this "advice"

I think the good and polite advice on this thread should apply to anyone "

not everyone is from gwew

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm loving the majority of the feedback on here. I have an older teenage son who has been diagnosed with Aspergers. My fear as a mother is that he will struggle out there in the world. The struggle is so real for them in social situations. Not understanding how to read people and social cues etc. To hear such awareness from others fills my wee heart The bravery of this young man for doing something like this is commendable. My boy struggles to leave the house himself never mind go to a club! Big admiration from me to you young man xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm loving the majority of the feedback on here. I have an older teenage son who has been diagnosed with Aspergers. My fear as a mother is that he will struggle out there in the world. The struggle is so real for them in social situations. Not understanding how to read people and social cues etc. To hear such awareness from others fills my wee heart The bravery of this young man for doing something like this is commendable. My boy struggles to leave the house himself never mind go to a club! Big admiration from me to you young man xxx"

Thank you so much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own."

Thanks mate. Yeah I am feeling much better. I'm sure you'll be able to get to a club one day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have these times, I know!

Suffering with depression is hard work

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We all have these times, I know!

Suffering with depression is hard work"

Yeah. Depression can be a right pain in the ass

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own.

Thanks mate. Yeah I am feeling much better. I'm sure you'll be able to get to a club one day"

This is a lovely thread. Glad you're feeling better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We all have these times, I know!

Suffering with depression is hard work

Yeah. Depression can be a right pain in the ass"

Totally is, but you're doing the right thing and reaching out and talking about it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own."

You can come to one with us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Spindler, I think you've come a long way from the person that first started on the forums. I'm going to paraphrase Yvaine, we can learn from mistakes. I hope you're feeling better. And I'm yet to go to a club, nevermind on my own.

Thanks mate. Yeah I am feeling much better. I'm sure you'll be able to get to a club one day

This is a lovely thread. Glad you're feeling better. "

Yeah I am glad to be feeling better too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We all have these times, I know!

Suffering with depression is hard work

Yeah. Depression can be a right pain in the ass

Totally is, but you're doing the right thing and reaching out and talking about it "

Yeah definitely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top