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Do we get hardened

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

As we get older to people dying. Im not talking about close immediate family but friends and aquaintances. Does it depend on the situation in which they died? Do we take it as fact that as the older we get the more people around us are going to die.

Over the last couple of years ive known quite a few people that have died the oldest was 52. But yesterday(i had to wait until today to have it confirmed) i found out that a friend of 64 died in her sleep a couple of months ago. Although still friends we had drifted over the last couple of years and was only in touch maybe three times a year and at christmas. I actually found out via her facebook page which was a shock.

Im sad, obviously but i dont get that impact feeling that i would have gotten a few years ago.

Is it just me or is it a part of getting older?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will never get hardened to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it may depend on how they died or if they had a long term illness. I lost both my Nan and my best friend in the last couple of years.

My Nan was 91 and had been ill for some time and when she died I was ok with it. She'd had her time and I didn't want to see he suffer anymore.

My oldest and best friend however had a heart attack two weeks before his 50th birthday. 17 months have passed and I sill haven't completely come to terms with it.

So I guess my awnswer is yes..and no

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By *iamondsmiles. OP   Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I think this could be that she simply died in her sleep and although sad she didnt suffer at all. Still a shock though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think that you harden to it, for me the change has been an acceptance to death being part of life, and to understanding the emotions that occur when these events happen, having had previous experience of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would say we accept more as we get older and never think about it as much when were younger personally my farther died when i was 21 so maybe this has hardened me a little but its still sad when people pass away i have even bought my grave plot already so i guess ime preparing or it

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Don't think it is something I will ever get hardened to.

Infact the older I get, the softer I seem to get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I find is I think of death more as I'm getting older. Hearing of the death of a friend is sad, and selfishly I often think "God...he/she was younger/fitter than me before thinking of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have not gotten hardened to it as I get older.

I lost two family members last year, in November and December, and its very hard.

I lost family when I was very young too, and although it is hard, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I sometimes still dream about them and wake up feeling they are still very near.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having worked in an emergency area in healthcare for more years than I care to mention and been involved in the sad loss of hundreds of patients during that time I don't think you ever become hardened to it but you do become more accepting of the inevitable....and you certainly develop your own "coping" mechanism

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Between Nov 1999 and Nov 2000 I lost my Father, Stepfather, an uncle, a cousin and 2 friends.

Between Nov 2001 and Feb 2002 I lost my Mum, 4 aunties, an uncle and a cousin.

Each one affected me differently, sometimes I was heartbroken, shocked at the speed of the illness, sometimes I prayed they would be put out of their misery.

But am I hardened to death, no and please God I hope I never am.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Alot of my hubbies old police/golf pals are dying . He gets quite upset about each funeral he goes to .I think perhaps now at 62 he is feeling vunerable also. No I dont think we are hardened to it.Hope never to feel that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think as we get older we get hardened to a lot of things xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think i would ever get hardened to losing anyone i know.

Losing 4 last year alone makes me think im very lucky to still be here.

And no matter how long it is, i still miss my lovely sister, its not getting any easier to deal with .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too. I still miss my mum and dad, my dog died of old age last year, i was devastated but i have got another one now, but still miss my other little dog.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

I had this coversation in work this morning. 7 weeks ago a friend I knew for over 30 yrs died,she was 43yr, she had breast cancer went into remission and then it returned. 3 weeks ago Mr A's sister was diagnoised with breast cancer, she has started treatment this week, we are keeping fingers crossed all goes well. On thursday afternoon a very good friend dropped dead from a heart attack,he was 44, there was no warning, no signs nothing. Still cant believe it. The funeral is tomorrow and im dreading it, which is selfish of me.

I do think we have now got to an age where we will here of more people dying. However i think it depends on the relationship you have with them as to the impact it has.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the other way round fer me...

I was very self absorbed when younger...if a little emotionally cold and distant...

I`ve softened, and more able to reconise emotions and allow myself to feel.. as I`ve matured..one of the reasons I like being the age I am...

Freedom from the bondage of self I guess..

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