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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.

A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.

Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary)

Got stopped in the street outside Boots today by a woman with a clipboard asking "What products do I use for grooming?" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook".

Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!

If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.

They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 6 months is going to shift this beer belly.

When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

These made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"These made me chuckle "

Good, that was the idea to share a giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I nick some for my profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!.

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By *ooby birdWoman
over a year ago

North West

Made me smile

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Can I nick some for my profile? "

If you like

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Heard these the othe day at work but there was another on the list about getting a new puppy. Not sure if you left that one out as not to offend anyone. But they did have us laughing at work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Can I nick some for my profile?

If you like "

Hope it gets me a shag.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

Yeah I got the same WhatsApp

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