FabSwingers.com forum: Dark places

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When you get to the point where there is so much shit shoveled on you and you can't see the sun, how do you dig yourself out ;-(

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As yourself why am I getting it all? If you can't handle it talk to someone about it. If it's effecting your health talk to your GP.

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

Usually isolate myself until i manage to kick myself up the arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sit down. Have a good cry to get all my maudlin self pity out. Have a cup of tea and think. Then a good nights sleep. Depends on the bullshit. Is it emotional, financial, matters of the heart.

Then i tend to leave it a week and see how I feel about things. There is nothing like a bit of time and perspective. Nothing good comes of rash actions. As a hot headed person i know this from experience.

And if you need help or support then ask for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back to the wall, deep breaths and start swinging. Metaphorically, and actually if required.No, not that kind of swinging..

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By *hispers-40Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path

Chin up matey

Just don’t look at the big picture Take one day at a time x

Here if you want a chat

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"Talk to a friend. "

This or to someone..

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Samaritans are good if you need to vent or unload without any judgement.

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I have wrapped myself in it and felt very, very comfortable. I know it's not good and I know it's not healthy. Leaving the comfort and security of the dark place seems like work at times, much harder than staying in dark place. Luckily for me I have always just enjoyed being there and never had the urge to go beyond yet. I know it's wrong and would hurt many people who don't deserve to be hurt in that way.

I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.

Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I sleep for as long as it takes for the desperation to pass and then go back on antidepressants.

As my Buddhist friend reminds me, all things are temporary.

I hope you feel well soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drink a bottle of red wine and smoke 20 fags

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I have wrapped myself in it and felt very, very comfortable. I know it's not good and I know it's not healthy. Leaving the comfort and security of the dark place seems like work at times, much harder than staying in dark place. Luckily for me I have always just enjoyed being there and never had the urge to go beyond yet. I know it's wrong and would hurt many people who don't deserve to be hurt in that way.

I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.

Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people. "

It can get comfortable, can't it? Change is work and sometimes it's too hard to take on any work to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you get to the point where there is so much shit shoveled on you and you can't see the sun, how do you dig yourself out ;-("

Have a wank...its short term but does take your mind off it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It varies.

Sometimes I hide away and wait for it to pass. Sometimes I will force myself to get up/out and do something constructive. Sometimes I just talk it through with someone, I'm lucky to have a super supportive partner and friends who are awesome!

Hope you're ok OP! And if you're not, I hope you feel better soon!

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I just wish I didn't feel so comfortable and safe in dark place.

Go out and talk to people. Breathe in life and feel the sun on your face. But talk to people, you must talk to people.

It can get comfortable, can't it? Change is work and sometimes it's too hard to take on any work to change.

Yes, super comfortable. I know I won't do anything stupid to harm myself but the thought or wish that it was all over can sometimes make me feel that an even more comfortable and safe place exists.

You are right, with pulls like that it really does require hard work to close the door on dark place and go back to people.

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

everyone is different. personally I allow myself some time to feel what I feel and then start with my coping strategies.

if things are too much and overwhelming- break them down in little things that are more managable. small steps. find out what's helpful to you to cope- if you are depressed it might be talking (friends, anyone, therapy), GP, physical activity, engaging in social interaction or events, managing your sleep hygiene, nutrition etc

have a cry or punch stuff (preferrably not others), find things to calm you down and clear your head and then start tackling the first mini step.

it gets easier I promise!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stop for a minute and:

- Think why am I doing this

- question what is more important

- what can I do to improve the situation

If there isn’t anything that will improve the situation, then I politely distance myself

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

I tend to find i keep it to myself. Then it atart to eat away at me until i feel the need to talk. But strangly i always find i can talk to strangers about stuff more than i can to people im close to. Just need to reach the point where you think to yourself enough is enough and put yourself first.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all so much, your kind words and advise has helped a little, i am going to hidden for a few days whilst I try to get my head around all the stuff that has landed on me. I will take the advise and speak to someone, as i do tend to bottle things up, and I know I shouldn't,

Stay safe fabsters

Mike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you get to the point where there is so much shit shoveled on you and you can't see the sun, how do you dig yourself out ;-("

One piece at a time OP, sometimes you have to move the small pieces before you can move the big ones.

Only thing to keep in mind is fix your eye on the chink of sunlight and make sure you dig towards it not away from it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Starting to get back to normal, taken a lot of advise and opened up to someone. It really helped and I have a better grasp of what is going on and what I need to do, so thanks all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you've got two choices.

Keep swimming

Or don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well you've got two choices.

Keep swimming

Or don't"
yep, good job I am a good strong swimmer

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

Chin up OP n good luck I think most of us have all been in a dark place at sometime in our lives and it’s not nice , hugs n wish u all the best x

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