FabSwingers.com forum: People whinging about things...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been thinking about many threads on the forum. A lot are moaning about the behaviour of others. These threads seem to try to vilify the behaviour of others. But, does it actually say more about the behaviour of those they are whinging about, or does it say more about the person doing the whinging?

I think that most of us experience the same type of behaviours. So what makes someone get to the point that they get angry about it whereby others seem to take it in their stride? A lot of threads started make you think that the op has had a tough time of it... but then when you look at it, have they really had it any worse than anyone else? Is it that they aren't able to cope with it in the same way as someone else?

Personally I find myself shrugging at a lot of the gripes and saying "And??? Happens to us all".

What are your thoughts dear fab viewer? Should we be looking at our own actions when dissecting those of others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The projection is real, yo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Fab can be a frustrating place for many and they use the forums to vent. No doubt some have a higher frustration threshold than others. Doesn't bother me at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The projection is real, yo!

It's just a hologram

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I'm a shrugger and just get on with doing my own thing whilst offering my opinion to try and balance things on the whingy threads when the mood takes me kind of person.

Don't see the point in moaning about the behaviour of others to be honest - won't usually change anything and life really IS too short

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of those posts are from blokes. It all stems from setting get their expectations too high about what they will get out of FAB, in my opinion of course.

Set your expectations low and you'll be less inclined to moan.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 01/04/18 17:46:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not something i would feel comfortable doing but i suppose those that do feel somewhat justified for doing so...

Or is that entitled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not sure what the answer is, there are many things about Fab that frustrates me at times and today is one of those days I’ve read the forums while rolling my eyes. I just see these whinges happen then it will all calm down for a while then starts again. I do think it’s down to personal tolerance, I’m more of a read and scroll past if it’s bothering me but lots aren’t. X

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Can I just have a little whinge? We are all cosy in our little Romany Gypsey glamping caravan, the rain is pitter pattering on the roof, Im feeling the feels for a bit of rumpy pumpy and he's snoring his bloody head off! So much for romance eh?!

But back to the thread.... some take fab waaaay too seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to get drawn in but sometimes after I've nearly chewed my arm off I cant help myself. It doesn't make a lot of difference at the end of the day,as everyone is always unbending in their thoughts and of their own personal experiences here. But there does seem to be an unending amout of whinging currently, about a funny little online world that is fab. Put down the computer and go outside and broaden some horizons. Its too easy to get trapped

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

It depends what you’re looking for from the forum. Personally, I find discussion of shared experiences a lot more interesting and stimulating than the half-dozen variations on the same ‘games’ that go on ad nauseum.

When I have started a thread, or put in my tuppenceworth on someone else’s, I’m often told that I should ignore or move on. Disregarding the irony that this could be applied to that person’s reaction to my post, it seems to be a rather anti-conversation stance to take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I just have a little whinge? We are all cosy in our little Romany Gypsey glamping caravan, the rain is pitter pattering on the roof, Im feeling the feels for a bit of rumpy pumpy and he's snoring his bloody head off! So much for romance eh?!

But back to the thread.... some take fab waaaay too seriously. "

Ooh that sounds...fab. Apart from the snoring bit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it's interesting the way different personalities deal with the same issues. I firmly believe that the way we react to things, be it messages or forum posts, has an effect on our experiences. Some seem to have a really shitty experience compared to me, but it is really that different? Or does the way that they deal with it/ react to it make the difference?

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

The way I see it is the more you whinge on about things let yourself get down over something how ever it should be worded. Surely the more your letting that thing effect you. I could go into my own specifics but that would be what I mean. It's past and past for damn good reason most of the time so let it be that the past. Surely that way your living the best way you can with what ever having the least effect possible. Of course I could have got the question wrong but that's what I thought the op was meaning...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

No dear. You've missed the point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. People are responsible for their own behaviour. Moaning about it or letting it affect me is pointless.

I'm not perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

No dear. You've missed the point

Doesn't happen often, I shall apologise and be on my way.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Never whinge about others.

I've plenty of stuff about me to whinge about first

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

No dear. You've missed the point

Doesn't happen often, I shall apologise and be on my way. "

Not without a cheeky grope you don't

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By *ooby birdWoman
over a year ago

North West

Some really petty gripes on here sometimes but each to their own I guss - we don't have to comment on every post do we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it never got to me, but the more and more you get ignored or fail it starts to get to you as nobody likes to fail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me it never got to me, but the more and more you get ignored or fail it starts to get to you as nobody likes to fail. "

So it does get to you? Or not? Or does? Or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're spot on OP. People seem bothered by so many things?

No one tried to kill you, just shrug and move on angry people!!

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Re: the OP.

I think that it's probably because childhood seems to be going on for longer, seemingly well into people's 30s now.

I think this kind of infantalism is possibly the norm now, and seems to be actively encouraged in some quarters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Re: the OP.

I think that it's probably because childhood seems to be going on for longer, seemingly well into people's 30s now.

I think this kind of infantalism is possibly the norm now, and seems to be actively encouraged in some quarters."

Theres an awful lot of thoughts that things are always the fault of somebody else about. In all walks of life. Everyone is sheltered from rejection a lot longer now. I blame sports day,no winners or losers anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

No dear. You've missed the point

Doesn't happen often, I shall apologise and be on my way.

Not without a cheeky grope you don't

Oh go on then, if you must

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of folk just want and expect instant gratification, that may be the reputation the site has. However, it has always appeared to me to be about the long game.

You bide your time, you put in the legwork and you get rewarded.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"Wait.... is this you making a thread whinging about people making threads and whinging??

Ha Ha Ha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments. "

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?"

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?"

It's not often we agree but this is one of those rare occasions!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher! "

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher!

What do you mean?"

Exactly what I said.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher!

What do you mean?

Exactly what I said. "

Yes. There's a big difference between the angry whine and someone misinterpreting something as an angry whine.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

It's definitely food for thought OP. If I feel the need for a proper whinge I am far more likely to whinge privately to people who will either indulge my whingeing before telling me to get a grip or help me get perspective on why I'm whingeing. Using a public forum to whinge doesn't seem logical to me since details are at the root of any good whinge as justification for said whinge - and details are things best left off the forum. Without them a whinge is just a whinge and open to all sorts of (mis)interpretation.

The above doesn't mean I won't indulge in a whinge on the forums for comedic reasons though. Sometimes an illogical rant is quite funny when intended as such (well, I think so anyway).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely food for thought OP. If I feel the need for a proper whinge I am far more likely to whinge privately to people who will either indulge my whingeing before telling me to get a grip or help me get perspective on why I'm whingeing. Using a public forum to whinge doesn't seem logical to me since details are at the root of any good whinge as justification for said whinge - and details are things best left off the forum. Without them a whinge is just a whinge and open to all sorts of (mis)interpretation.

The above doesn't mean I won't indulge in a whinge on the forums for comedic reasons though. Sometimes an illogical rant is quite funny when intended as such (well, I think so anyway). "

This reads very funny if you replace whinge with minge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher!

What do you mean?

Exactly what I said.

Yes. There's a big difference between the angry whine and someone misinterpreting something as an angry whine. "

Can you give some thread examples?

Don't know how you know what people are thinking from words on a screen.

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

Downside of the written word is that you can't always see or feel the tone behind it, which is why emojis became a big thing.

If someone isn't in the best of moods when reading something they could feel that it was written in a negative manner whereas if someone is happy they could see it as having a more positive edge to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve learnt so much since I started using the forums. Things that it would have never occurred to me that people would get offended about seem to cause so much outrage. Having said that, I once made the mistake in expressing to the forum that it offended me when men private sent us cock pics. Lol So I guess we all get offended about different things and others simply can’t understand why.

On the whole, Fab has worked well for us. We don’t seem to have been messed about the way so many others do, and we’ve made some good friends. There have been specific incidences that have caused upset, but my issue will be with the people involved, and doesn’t effect our general view of Fab or the swing scene. If Fab or swinging hadn’t worked well for us we wouldn’t stay. Don’t really understand why people stay here if it doesn’t work.

Mrs

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I think a lot of people just want to know if anyone else is experiencing the same. Such as men that post threads about getting no replies or asking for profile advice.

I think a lot of people really don't give a shit about other people and it shows in their posts and attitude. Some are open about it and some hide behind sycophantic comments.

They could pose the question without the angry whine though couldn't they?

People read things differently all the time on the forums. They assume things that aren't true. Ask Clem.

Oh come off it, the angry whine is easy to decipher!

What do you mean?

Exactly what I said.

Yes. There's a big difference between the angry whine and someone misinterpreting something as an angry whine.

Can you give some thread examples?

Don't know how you know what people are thinking from words on a screen. "

Think it's very easy to spot the difference between:

"I was looking for some advice on my profile if possible as it doesn't appear to be working for me"

and

"I've been here ages now and haven't had a single meet, am I fucking ugly or something? What's wrong with my profile?"

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

I know that I come across as a grumpy bugger, but I’m very, very rarely actually angry about something. I certainly wouldn’t be angry about something on here.

However, I do have a difficulty with the attitude that anyone raising a topic for discussion is, by default, whinging or entitled. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; there is an irony to people responding to anything by saying, ‘just shrug and ignore it, move on,’ it strikes me as a failure to practice what you preach. Perhaps it’s because we all like to express our opinions to others.

The odd rules here do make it difficult to discuss this. It’s spoken about in roundabout ways, with vague references, and no certainty of exactly which threads or comments people take issue with, and as such no real way for there to be any clarification.

Hey ho.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I know that I come across as a grumpy bugger, but I’m very, very rarely actually angry about something. I certainly wouldn’t be angry about something on here.

Hey ho."

I think there's a huge difference between "raising a topic for discussion" and posting a thread whinging about a situation though.

The former is couched in phrases such as "what do others think?" and the opinion given is backed up rather than being a cold statement presented as fact, and the OP will return to the thread often to add further insight and comment.

The latter is generally presented as a rant with little foundation or follow up to back it up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/18 20:53:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Downside of the written word is that you can't always see or feel the tone behind it, which is why emojis became a big thing.

I agree.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If someone wants to have a rant or let off steam on here, then all is good in my opinion. It's better than keeping it all bottled up, and generally provides the rest of us with a laugh if nothing else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i often shake my head at the laptop but i just block and move on rather than waste energy getting cross -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Downside of the written word is that you can't always see or feel the tone behind it, which is why emojis became a big thing.

Oh but some are clearly whines. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to identify some!

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By *SPrincessWoman
over a year ago

Nowhere near you

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

Really? Did "Topics" and "Grammar" require capital letters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

Really? Did "Topics" and "Grammar" require capital letters?

Yeah just more stuff for people to whinge about on a whingey thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

Really? Did "Topics" and "Grammar" require capital letters?

Yeah just more stuff for people to whinge about on a whingey thread

Ah it wasn't a whinge from the op. Merely a musing. I've better things to do than whinge on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

Really? Did "Topics" and "Grammar" require capital letters?

Yeah just more stuff for people to whinge about on a whingey thread

Ah it wasn't a whinge from the op. Merely a musing. I've better things to do than whinge on a swingers site. "

Just need to get round to 'doing' them.....right??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

Really? Did "Topics" and "Grammar" require capital letters?

Yeah just more stuff for people to whinge about on a whingey thread

Ah it wasn't a whinge from the op. Merely a musing. I've better things to do than whinge on a swingers site.

Just need to get round to 'doing' them.....right??

Oh you're up there Mr...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

See ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely use the forums -

Topics go off topic

Most Topics are pointless

Poor Grammar irritates me

Too many people chat shit

See ya "

Going somewhere geezer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tells me more about the person doing the whinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no objections to people having a moan. Tis good for the soul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I whinge quite a lot but put in as much detail as I can about whatever I'm whinging about in order to get the best advice.

If I have any sort of problem I want lots of different opinions so I can see things from as many different view pints as possible. It's the only way I know whether something is genuinely a problem. Sometimes I'll post something and people will say yeah I actually feel the same, it's then that I know I'm not just making a fuss over nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Downside of the written word is that you can't always see or feel the tone behind it, which is why emojis became a big thing.

Oh but some are clearly whines. Only an idiot wouldn't be able to identify some!"

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I've not walked in someone else's shoes, so don't know what's gone before for them. I think a lot of posts are based on peoples expectations. Did they expect the Fab streets of London to be paved with gold vag? Unlimited tits and all of us desperately waiting for someone so we could open our legs at the drop of a hat? We never have to work, look after kids etc, we just sit logged in, hoping any bloke will tell us he needs to shag and so we dutifully comply. We are the porn he often watches made into flesh, so he can shoot his load. That's our duty in life, to satisfy his needs.

Some people are also just more sensitive to the stuff of life - it's unfortunate.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've been thinking about many threads on the forum. A lot are moaning about the behaviour of others. These threads seem to try to vilify the behaviour of others. But, does it actually say more about the behaviour of those they are whinging about, or does it say more about the person doing the whinging?

Personally I find myself shrugging at a lot of the gripes and saying "And??? Happens to us all".

What are your thoughts dear fab viewer? Should we be looking at our own actions when dissecting those of others?"

Threads wouldn't get very far if we just looked at our own actions.

I post a whinge when I'm feeling out of sorts. I reply negatively to whinges when I am exasperated at seeing various things (privilege/entitlement/first world problems) and have a low reserve of tolerance.

It's always about me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what if people whinge any way. It's not like we're forced to read anything on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So what if people whinge any way. It's not like we're forced to read anything on here. "
another missed point.

I'm not whinging about people whinging, I'm just wondering what it is that makes some complain about the same experiences that others take in their stride. Yeah so what if they do? Just interested how we view things differently. That's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to make up whinge's as my life is practically perfect in every way

Mind you I am in Liverpool next week so things may change.

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