FabSwingers.com forum: Methods of rejection. A survey

By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.

If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do

A. Ignore and delete your message

B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")

C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).

A for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.

If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do

A. Ignore and delete your message

B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")

C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).

A for us. "

Its A for everyone on here.

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By *aggie and DanCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.

If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do

A. Ignore and delete your message

B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")

C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).

A for us. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/18 17:33:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do A. Tried the other options, and I get abuse back. Or offers of money

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't say I have a preference.

I send messages and then immediately delete from my sent box. Can't look then and get a nice surprise if you get a reply. I had one 3 months after sending a message a few weeks ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D. Sorry you're not for me but here's a few pics of my bum before I block you

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

There used to be a "thanks but no thanks" button that sent a generic message of that ilk.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I generally go with b and in all the time I've been on here I've never had a dodgy message back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply if it clearly shows they have read our profile..but maybe a no thanks or a sorry you are not what we are looking for option would be good..at least the person sending the message as got a definitive reply rather than none at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually use B

And would prefer it if done to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d go with, hot damn fella we don’t think we’re worthy of you, but good luck with your future endeavours!

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

B for us.

We don't get loads of messages.

Nita

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I prefer A. I have no idea why guys always moan about not getting 'no thanks' replies. Who wants to log on, see you have mail, but then find its all 'no ta'?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m female. I’m on fab. What does the word ‘rejection’ mean?

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really wish there were more people like all of you.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

B for me both ways

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"I prefer A. I have no idea why guys always moan about not getting 'no thanks' replies. Who wants to log on, see you have mail, but then find its all 'no ta'?

That's our view. You get a message notification, get all excited and see its a rejection.

Why would you want that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored? "

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

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By *SPrincessWoman
over a year ago

Nowhere near you

I do A and would prefer A in return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although can understand why a lot of people go with A .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We sent a polite reply once and got told to fuck ourselves as we are to old and ugly

... Won't be doing that again

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "

But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try B but it's not always possible to do so x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it? "

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By *oisineandAlCouple
over a year ago

limerick

if only they would read our profile correctly. I shall answer. but if I get a rude greeting. I will answer and block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if only they would read our profile correctly. I shall answer. but if I get a rude greeting. I will answer and block "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We sent a polite reply once and got told to fuck ourselves as we are to old and ugly

... Won't be doing that again

Thats what your report button is for. Alot of people forget about that.

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By *emptd2Man
over a year ago

Burgess Hill

"Amid all the discussion, let's get some idea what people really want.

If you send a message to someone and they aren't interested in you, what would you prefer them to do

A. Ignore and delete your message

B. Reply with a generic message ("sorry, you are not for us")

C. Reply with feedback. ("sorry, we don't meet people who put up cock pics " or whatever).

A for us. "

A or B. Depends on the message I send them. Normally i include if you're not interested delete the message at the end.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with being ignored. Less effort all round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it? "

They don't always delete. Just leave them there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been sending replies today, conversation type ones not just no thanks. And they are all deleted and ignored. Should I wail now

I generally do a mix of A and B

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "

Once I've sent a message I don't think about it again unless I get a reply. Don't check whether it's been read or deleted. It makes Fabs a lot less stressful if you're not monitoring it constantly.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging. "

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *inkyLondonpair OP Couple
over a year ago

London

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

But if the message is deleted that has the same effect doesn't it?

They don't always delete. Just leave them there. "

As a general rule, if someone has been on line and hasn't replied within 24 hours, that's a rejection.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I like the idea of blocking anyone that your not interested in.

I also ask people to block me if their not interested.

It saves us all time..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita"

Does that show them that you're not interested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested? "

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

If somebody has time for C, great.

B feels like the minimum (particularly given the way I go about sending messages) but I understand why people resort to A a lot of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested? "

That's what I do, send and delete. It's the best way.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

A is perfectly acceptable to me, although it's of course nice to get a polite note back if the recipient chooses to, but I don't get eaten up by it if they don't either.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Kind of do B in that I always reply... I usually draw their attention to the words on our profile and then chat generally with anyone.... Im that mad woman who talks to the next person in the queue at Sainsburys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it. "

Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it. "

The recipient can read it but hopefully you will learn to be less stressed by the lack of a response.

The problem is having expectations that don't fit with the way the site actually works.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.

Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then? "

Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.

Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?

Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message. "

Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.

Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?

Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message.

Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact. "

No, it won’t change it. But it means that you don’t know if they’ve ignored it and ‘left you hanging’ or if they’ve deleted it.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"It's interesting that most people prefer explicit rejection. Isn't that more hurtful than just being ignored?

I'd prefer it as you don't feel like you're left hanging.

The problem is that many women get quite a lot of messages, and get abuse when they say no. Ignoring and deleting if not interested is easier.

Maybe delete the messages you send then you'll appreciate the replies you do get.

Nita

Does that show them that you're not interested?

No. The person you sent it too can’t see it. It means you cannot check if they’ve opened it, ignored it, or deleted it.

Why is it that I can see if they've deleted my message then?

Because they’ve deleted your message. You are simply deleting your own message.

Fair enough. Probably still won't change the no reply fact. "

Of course it won't.. only your perception. Hopefully

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly B, but occasionally have done A when the message is just crap x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

B but to be honest there isn’t the time to reply to all messages tried to at start but it’s crazy busy ....... think a generic explanation/ add on in profile may hopefully would cover all bases and not offend any one x

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I'd prefer B for ones I've sent. For ones received I tailor a response accordingly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any of the above, it's all the same outcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A. Just read and delete. That's far easier.

Why would I want feed back over compatibility and their preferences?

I am who I am. If I've been a jerk then fair enough. But all I'm asking is if they'd like to meet, and if the answers no, I don't need much more unless I'm really insecure!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason. "

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

I do all three of them depending on what mood I'm in and how bored I am. Some people take C in good humour even when I've been a bit sarky (not often though guv, honest.

) whereas others seem to take offense at a generic (but polite) no thanks. When they get narky I'll sometimes wind them up which amuses me greatly. I love Fab and the forums, so much entertainment for so little cost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid rejections, don't message anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile. "

I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.

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By *ung_londonMan
over a year ago

London

I’m fine with being on the receiving end of A - people are busy and I don’t personally feel it’s a rude option, just an efficient one. I’m also relaxed (but I know it doesn’t suit everyone) if I get another message after a while from someone I’ve ‘A’d in the past - sometimes my inbox is a desert wasteland and (very) occasionally there’s more activity than I can cope with, so I’m sure I miss some gorgeous folk in the sheer volume of messages at those times!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

A is preferable but if they do decide to respond, B.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.

I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile. "

You removed the pic Id like the most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.

I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.

You removed the pic Id like the most

Which was that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.

I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.

You removed the pic Id like the most

Which was that? "

The one you removed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C but it can gets nasty pretty quick

Report button is there for a reason.

Not necessarily. It can gets politely nasty

You can't really report someone who just politely states what one doesn't like abt your profile but still be hurt by what has been said abt you and your profile.

I'd just take that into account and have another look at my profile.

You removed the pic Id like the most

Which was that?

The one you removed "

I've moved a few to my friends only. They aren't deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer B.

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