FabSwingers.com forum: Treating people like a piece of meat

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

As long as I'm treated like a wagu steak I'm just fine being treated like a piece of meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat? "

I Delete unread mail and look at pictures and profiles before deciding if I would like to reply/start a conversation .. this is because o cannot reply to everybody and I would rather so this than even politely reply due to opening myself up to abuse ..

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

Out of Curiosity, as I'm sure you know the difficulties being a single woman on this site.. what would you suggest is the kind way to say no , to EVERY SINGLE MAN , so that all parties are happy and not left open to abuse ..

Realistically..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete any messages that don’t interest me.

I almost always reply to regular forum posters.

I don’t discriminate between men, couples or women, if I don’t like something about someone I just delete.

I don’t care what anyone thinks about this approach.

Have a nice day

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

How can I treat men like a piece of meat just because I don't answer their message. I merely don't find them attractive from the information I have,that in my mind is not treating them like a piece of meat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can I treat men like a piece of meat just because I don't answer their message. I merely don't find them attractive from the information I have,that in my mind is not treating them like a piece of meat."

I agree with this..

Being treated like a piece of meat means something else entirely to me

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I sometimes delete mail without replying, from men, couples and women. Usually they've not read my profile and want to meet immediately, so you could say they treated me like a piece of meat first.

Do I feel guilty about doing it? Absolutely not, but I certainly wouldn't complain if I sent a message that was deleted without reply either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come get your juicy sausages

Get a sausage il throw in a bit of toungue just to sweeten the deal

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I agree with this..

Being treated like a piece of meat means something else entirely to me"

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To treat someone like a piece of meat means to objectify and degrade them by commenting on their appearance.. i just dont know what that has to do with deleting messages from unsuitable people

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

How on earth is choosing not to interact with someone based on their (often crap) profile, pics and message treating them like a piece of meat? And let's face it, even if it could be classified as that, the person treating them as such would have sent them a message based on their pics and profile and therefore by definition will have treated them as....oh the irony is strong

As for "many" women and couples complaining about that, another completely wide of the mark statement - even if you're using the forums as a guide (which we all know is a small percentage of the overall site) those women and couples that actually "complain" as opposed to offer reasoned advice/observations is again small - so actually "not many" would have been a better phrase to use.

Simple fact of the matter is there are many (and that's a genuine "many" not a made up one) single men who use the site, that have no idea how to make a success of it, who do have completely off kilter expectations and do think they only have to sign up to be entitled to sex - and frankly those that do and won't listen when given advice deserve to be treated with disdain

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

Read from the bottom up , this says :- women do men's bidding. Be scared of his rejection, beware his wrath and retaliation. Tread gently on his ego.

It's long discussed in here that it is not rude to not reply to messages.

I don't agree that men treat women like meat either.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 01/04/18 09:14:16]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window. "

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with this..

Being treated like a piece of meat means something else entirely to me"

And me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me.

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Far too many messages to reply personally too ......so don't regard that as being treated like a piece of meat ... I do have a life apart from here ... I speak and message a lot of single guys some end up in a meet others end up as mates ..... so I'm happy in how I operate..... I don't get any abuse or nasty messages so I must be doing something right xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like basting breasts to be fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its quite simple really

you send a message if the content and profile are what the person feels they like then they will reply..

no scientist needed,,,

why take offence if someone deletes a message you send?

get the fuck over it

oh Happy Easter too....

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

The fact that so many messages are deleted or not replied to is what makes people act in the way they do.

Realistically if you are already aware that the bulk of the polite messages you send will not get a response (and with a profile as shit as mine it’s hardly surprising), it as a bloke, often feels like you’re treated like a piece of shit as much as a piece of meat. Now I don’t feel as though I am entitled to demand a response every time, but the likelihood is that if I don’t get replies at least some of the time I’ll start to feel like the process is throwaway.

I’m intrigued to read this thread and see the responses of some of the women. Even on April fool’s day it’s nice to think that some have the empathy to realise how their actions affect the feelings and responses of others.

The ability to hide your profile and search for and message the profiles that suit your requirements remains.

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By *parklingGrey.xWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

When I first made my single profile, I tried replying to each mail saying no thanks, being polite. It took days and guys still messaged assuming I was interested because I replied.

I then deleted without reading if I knew from looking at their profile they aren't what I was looking for.

I then tried replying again, a polite no thanks, to which men wouldn't quit, or I received obnoxious messages in response.

This is what is off putting and why women often delete without replying. It's individual choice, there is no set guidelines on how to reply to the plethora of mail women receive. If you reply to every message with no abuse, that's great! That however, is not the case for many women and that should also be acknowledged, rather than making women out to be the problem.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me. "

To be fair, but it's not so much guys wanting fuck and go. (essentially that's what we want from guys) it's them having no bloody idea how to approach people. You know, the cock pics and explicit suggestions in a first message. That approach will very rarely work with women or couples and you would think that men would realise that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I quite like basting breasts to be fair

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"The fact that so many messages are deleted or not replied to is what makes people act in the way they do.

The ability to hide your profile and search for and message the profiles that suit your requirements remains."

Shit. I forgot it's April Fool's Fuckity Fuck .......

You shouldn't have told me. I'd have spent half the day wondering why there were so many wanky threads today.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The fact that so many messages are deleted or not replied to is what makes people act in the way they do.

The ability to hide your profile and search for and message the profiles that suit your requirements remains."

I'd forgotten it was April Fool's day. I should have posted this aft. It's a serious post.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"The fact that so many messages are deleted or not replied to is what makes people act in the way they do.

The ability to hide your profile and search for and message the profiles that suit your requirements remains."

The site is basically throwaway as its a site for people to have casual sex. People who get upset because no one considers their feelings would be best off leaving the site.

We don't reply to people we aren't interested in as explicit rejection is generally more painful than implicit rejection.

That being said, we appreciate that it can be a frustrating experience for single men, but unfortunately that's inevitable when you have a group of about 80% chasing the other 20%.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Having experienced this site both as a single woman and now as a couple I have always replied politely to every message... even the occassional rude or abusive ones. I find people struggle to remain abusive if they are met with calm, firm but polite responses.

But then even as a single woman I have never displayed dozens of provocative pictures enticing 100s of messages daily. Just as men are guilty of the sausage forest galleries, ladies are equally accountable for showing numerous tit and bum pics in various colours of underwear and without.

If you cannot respond to the attention you bring to your profile what is the point?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

When I first made my single profile, I tried replying to each mail saying no thanks, being polite. It took days and guys still messaged assuming I was interested because I replied.

I then deleted without reading if I knew from looking at their profile they aren't what I was looking for.

I then tried replying again, a polite no thanks, to which men wouldn't quit, or I received obnoxious messages in response.

I'm not saying women are the problem. The abusers are the problem.

But a cycle of disrespect and rudeness will never end well. That's all I'm saying.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

When I first made my single profile, I tried replying to each mail saying no thanks, being polite. It took days and guys still messaged assuming I was interested because I replied.

I then deleted without reading if I knew from looking at their profile they aren't what I was looking for.

I then tried replying again, a polite no thanks, to which men wouldn't quit, or I received obnoxious messages in response.

I'm not saying women are the problem. The abusers are the problem.

But a cycle of disrespect and rudeness will never end well. That's all I'm saying.

I am not quite sure what you are saying here. That we should reply to everyone?

If women and couples took your advice, that would mean men's inboxes would be full of "no thanks" messages.

I can't think of anything more soul destroying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me.

They see a site full of cock and pussy pics and people fucking. Where is the clue that they shouldn't send a cock pic?

They read explicit verifications about people fucking every which way, so they write messages in the same vein.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having experienced this site both as a single woman and now as a couple I have always replied politely to every message... even the occassional rude or abusive ones. I find people struggle to remain abusive if they are met with calm, firm but polite responses.

If you cannot respond to the attention you bring to your profile what is the point?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t treat men like pieces of meat, and I suspect every man from the swing scene whom we know personally would vouch that we don’t do that. We treat our swingingbfriends no different than our vanilla friends (with the exception that we fuck out swinging friends).

With regards to messages, I remember years ago on Dating Direct I messaged a man. He asked for a face pic. I uploaded one to my profile and I never heard from him again. He didn’t fancy me basically. It never occurred to me that 15 years later there would be a swingers site with men up in arms for the same behaviour. I certainly didn’t regard it that I was being treated like a piece of meat when he looked at my photo and silently rejected me.

Mrs

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

When I first made my single profile, I tried replying to each mail saying no thanks, being polite. It took days and guys still messaged assuming I was interested because I replied.

I then deleted without reading if I knew from looking at their profile they aren't what I was looking for.

I then tried replying again, a polite no thanks, to which men wouldn't quit, or I received obnoxious messages in response.

I'm not saying women are the problem. The abusers are the problem.

But a cycle of disrespect and rudeness will never end well. That's all I'm saying.

You CLEARLY said that women and couples are part of the problem.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me. "

Interesting debate based on actualities is always good - debate based on wide of the mark perceptions is always going to result in lots of

though and questions that go unanswered by the person who is unable to substantiate their comments

Fact of the matter is there ARE many people here (and let's face it it IS mainly single men) who DO have off kilter expectations, regardless of whether they are looking for fuck and go or something a little deeper than that (frankly I don't see what someone is looking for, or the fact the site is full of sexual content has to do with people having unrealistic expectations) - we all know the type, one line profiles, gallery of disembodied cock pics and messages along the lines of "wanna fuck now?" - THOSE are the ones with off kilter expectations and a sense of entitlement who DO deserve disdain no matter which way you look at it.

Either way I still fail to see how ignoring someone that doesn't interest you equates to treating them like a piece of meat

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me.

They see a site full of cock and pussy pics and people fucking. Where is the clue that they shouldn't send a cock pic?

They read explicit verifications about people fucking every which way, so they write messages in the same vein. "

Its pretty clear that what turns on women and what turns on men is generally very different. Most women are not turned on by explicit stuff in the way men are.

Hence anyone with a brain would realise that if you take the explicit approach in a first message your chances reduce dramatically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

I like debate. I put forward ideas for discussion.

I disagree about your comment re: the off kilter expectations. It's a site full of sexually explicit pics and 'sex reviews' and menus of what sex acts people offer.

Sure some people want friendship but some just want fuck n go. Neither are wrong, just incompatible.

I don't see the need to be rude to someone that wants different to me.

They see a site full of cock and pussy pics and people fucking. Where is the clue that they shouldn't send a cock pic?

They read explicit verifications about people fucking every which way, so they write messages in the same vein. "

The clue will often be in the profile how best to approach the couple or lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a guys perspective, and again this is only my opinion, it is more annoying when a message is read, then deleted 3 or 4 days later.

Most women use stealth mode, so you don't know if they looked, or just couldn't be arsed and delete based on title of the message, and I have seen it done, I realize I am in the higher age band and not as attractive as some of the other guys on here, but as I said to someone in another forum post, it's a marathon not a sprint, so I don't get too frustrated by the just delete message brigade, I understand that ladies get hundreds of messages and I am just a small drop in that ocean, so maybe fab should put a thanks but no thanks button in the reply section, and link it to a block so you get a reply, but can't respond

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

And that is the difference .. I may do the things you have mentioned, but in no way do I regard this as treating people like a piece of meat.

I do not send rude, abusive or demanding messages or messages of entitlement ..

***

Realistically..

***

I manage to do this and pretty much never get abuse.

When I first made my single profile, I tried replying to each mail saying no thanks, being polite. It took days and guys still messaged assuming I was interested because I replied.

I then deleted without reading if I knew from looking at their profile they aren't what I was looking for.

I then tried replying again, a polite no thanks, to which men wouldn't quit, or I received obnoxious messages in response.

I'm not saying women are the problem. The abusers are the problem.

But a cycle of disrespect and rudeness will never end well. That's all I'm saying.

You CLEARLY said that women and couples are part of the problem.

*Part* of the problem.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"We don’t treat men like pieces of meat, and I suspect every man from the swing scene whom we know personally would vouch that we don’t do that. We treat our swingingbfriends no different than our vanilla friends (with the exception that we fuck out swinging friends).

Mrs"

Indeed. As I say above. We are all advertising for no strings sex. This site is a classic meat market and its silly to pretend otherwise.

If you don't like that and want something meaningful, you should try a vanilla dating site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting post to see both sides of the debate (avoided say argument as I don’t think the OP was intending for that)

I guess single ladies and couples will get swamped by messages that are quite often unintelligent and rude. It just a shame that a polite and considered message gets lost among them.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

If you cannot respond to the attention you bring to your profile what is the point?"

You make a good point......

You reap what you sow?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bugger, just realized, it's April fools day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting post to see both sides of the debate (avoided say argument as I don’t think the OP was intending for that)

I guess single ladies and couples will get swamped by messages that are quite often unintelligent and rude. It just a shame that a polite and considered message gets lost among them. "

I'm ok with arguments. It's still debate. A wishy washy statement doesn't get people fired up the same, so then the debate would be a bit flat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bugger, just realized, it's April fools day"

Its April fool's day everyday on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fail to see how not answering someone's unsolicited message,equates to treating them like a piece of meat.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

If you cannot respond to the attention you bring to your profile what is the point?

You make a good point......

You reap what you sow?"

Absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who want to see my cock ?

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

sure it's a site where most want sex and nothing more. that's a piece of meat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meat. Gimme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who want to see my cock ? "

Gallic rooster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who want to see my cock ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense."

I thought that but my brain couldn't make the right words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who want to see my cock ? "

Okay, flop it out xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window. "

Not everyone is seeking NSA

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

I thought that but my brain couldn't make the right words

I thought the saying treating someone like a piece of meat implies they are satisfying a hunger. Nothing more? Or am I wrong on that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

I don't treat men like meat coz i,m a vegetarian. I treat them like a piece of Quorn instead xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense."

This and this

I don't message people who make it clear on their profiles they don't want to meet someone who looks like me. Makes no sense in my book. Would be like applying for a job that requires certain qualifications I don't have. Waste of time all around.

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Aside from the abusive replies to a, "thanks but you're not quite what I'm looking for and I wish you all the best on fab" or similar - from people who initiated contact with me, I take the junk mail view. I don't reply to every pizza or other takeaway leaflet I receive in my letterbox.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

Any profiles I message first who read and delete, I take it as them not being interested. I never expect a reply from a profile and think lines such as, "please reply yes or no" are kinda pointless. Reading and deleting is a reply in my book.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA"

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA"

Most are and even if we're not, we are by and large trying to entice people on the basis of our sexual allure.

In the vanilla world, that's pretty much the definition of a meat market. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just let's be honest with ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

I happily delete people who want to meet but do not send a face pic, write more than 'let's meet' or ask where I am before they even say 'hello', they make no effort for me to be attracted to them. There are so few decent people on here and that includes tgurls too. Swinging used to be part of a lifestyle not just getting a fuck every weekend, some of like to feel a connection.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

This and this

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

Indeed. I never understand why people want an explicit message saying "I don't fancy you", rather than having it delivered implicitly.

When people aren't interested in us, we much prefer to be ignored rather than get a direct rejection. The latter seems more hurtful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

This and this

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

Indeed. I never understand why people want an explicit message saying "I don't fancy you", rather than having it delivered implicitly.

When people aren't interested in us, we much prefer to be ignored rather than get a direct rejection. The latter seems more hurtful. "
rather have a direct rejection than be ignored, least you know where you stand

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Bugger, just realized, it's April fools day

Its April fool's day everyday on here"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

This and this

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

Indeed. I never understand why people want an explicit message saying "I don't fancy you", rather than having it delivered implicitly.

When people aren't interested in us, we much prefer to be ignored rather than get a direct rejection. The latter seems more hurtful. rather have a direct rejection than be ignored, least you know where you stand"

I know where I stand when someone ignores me? I really don't understand why others don't.

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Every profile on here is like a shop window, we are all advertising to share experiences,fantasies, etc.

Like any other shop in any part of the world you are not obliged to enter or purchase.

We are what you could call All Pieces Of Meat . . It's a matter of what you fancy and what you don't.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

This and this

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

Indeed. I never understand why people want an explicit message saying "I don't fancy you", rather than having it delivered implicitly.

I know where I stand when someone ignores me? I really don't understand why others don't. "

Indeed.

And do single guys really want an inbox full of rejections? I can't imagine anything more depressing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm quite happy being given treated like a piece of meat

doesn'tbother me in the slightest

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Regarding off-kilter expectations: The OP makes a good point; when you first join the site, you see profiles full of, in some cases, incredibly explicit photographs. People write and publish luridly detailed verifications. Now, maybe /you/ don’t do these things, or maybe /you/ only do one of them, but surely it’s easy to see, viewing the site as a whole, why people might find it difficult to gauge the tone on arrival.

Regarding whether deleting unread messages qualifies as ‘treating people like meat’, it’s perhaps a poor choice of wording. ‘Treating people like nothing’ or, even, ‘treating people like shit’ might be more applicable. (And yes, I understand that the initial message may have lacked respect.)

It needn’t even be messages looking for a meet. I’ve messaged people regarding forum posts, in some cases in direct response to requests for messages, which can then go unread. Yes, there is an argument that it’s a meat market, and nobody should be offended, but when you take time to compose a message, and are batted away with the back of the hand like an irritating fly, it’s surely easy to see why people might react in a less favourable way.

“Don’t take it personally,” is always an interesting retort. Considering these decisions are based on our looks and our profile (a reflection of our personality) taking it personally is the only available, valid reaction. The degree to which it upsets is not a choice either; some of you are luckily enough that it barely registers, I’m lucky enough (possibly because I haven’t been /entirely/ unsuccessful) that mine registers as disappointment. I don’t rattle off dozens of messages, it’s a conscious decision to message somebody rather than a production line, so that’s maybe why. But it’s a little unfair to give people a hard time over a reaction they can’t choose.

Anyway, that’s more than enough waffle from me, sorry. Carry on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you cannot respond to the attention you bring to your profile what is the point?

You make a good point......

You reap what you sow?"

Some peole dont mind letting letting the field grow wild and having the birds move in.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Regarding off-kilter expectations: The OP makes a good point; when you first join the site, you see profiles full of, in some cases, incredibly explicit photographs. People write and publish luridly detailed verifications. Now, maybe /you/ don’t do these things, or maybe /you/ only do one of them, but surely it’s easy to see, viewing the site as a whole, why people might find it difficult to gauge the tone on arrival.

Anyway, that’s more than enough waffle from me, sorry. Carry on."

Maybe they can't choose how they feel about rejection but they should be able to choose how they act upon those feelings. If they attack another because of some perceived slight they are fully responsible. Inappropriate responses shouldn't be rewarded.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

or excused.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Maybe they can't choose how they feel about rejection but they should be able to choose how they act upon those feelings. If they attack another because of some perceived slight they are fully responsible. Inappropriate responses shouldn't be rewarded. "

They can, and nothing I said condones sending shitty messages. I was just trying to shed a little light for those who don’t seem to understand why some people react certain ways.

I also felt that it was worth pointing out that not all the unread, deleted messages are anything to do with failing to match what someone is looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed, it’s completely inaccurate to conflate the management of an inbox with the concept of treating someone like a piece of meat. Makes no sense.

This and this

I used to reply to every single message but decided not to after a while.

Although the main reason I decided to just not reply is because I discovered in doing so, that profile can still message you if you have your filters on.

To be clear, by "people", I mean any profile.

Indeed. I never understand why people want an explicit message saying "I don't fancy you", rather than having it delivered implicitly.

you seriously don't know where you stand if someone doesn't enter into any kind of interaction with you?

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Anyway, that’s more than enough waffle from me, sorry. Carry on."

You make some valid points and it's true that we can't help our reactions, but the reality is that for most people this site is about meeting others to get their rocks off and thus everyone IS disposable. . Unfortunately for single guys, because there are so many of them, they are more disposable than most.

That's the reality and it isn't going to change. Hence people need to decide whether being on here with that ethos is good for them emotionally. If not, they should leave.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"...the reality is that for most people this site is about meeting others to get their rocks off and thus everyone IS disposable. . Unfortunately for single guys, because there are so many of them, they are more disposable than most.

That's the reality and it isn't going to change."

No, no, no, no, no. Just because you /treat/ people like they are disposable, doesn’t mean they are. It’s not a reality, it’s an attitude.

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)
over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

Ok, but I would like to know what suggestions you may have on how to improve the situation.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

They can, and nothing I said condones sending shitty messages. I was just trying to shed a little light for those who don’t seem to understand why some people react certain ways.

I also felt that it was worth pointing out that not all the unread, deleted messages are anything to do with failing to match what someone is looking for."

They can what ? You don't make that clear.

I said - Inappropriate responses shouldn't be rewarded. That comment is not about you or anything you said.

Inappropriate responses shouldn't be rewarded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same.

Ok, but I would like to know what suggestions you may have on how to improve the situation.

It's simple. Be nice. Reply to messages, or use your filters so you aren't too swamped to answer them.

Men aren't meat to me, they are delicious desserts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the people with all these excuses, you complain when men dont read profiles but barely ever read theirs whether they read yours or not, most of you beliitle men and fly into a 3 year olds tantrum when someone points out your faults even in forums that were made to do so, hundreds of you here and thousands in general completely disregard how men are treated and how much it takes out of you to be treated with disdain a disrespect by 80% of you people. Ive seen couples refuse to meet me because im not their type but when my fem fb is in town its different suddenly my profile gets the human decency of being read. I ALWAYS read profiles and only message if im interested and think they would be too based on their profile, im always polite and put effort into my messages infact i doubt ive ever used the same introduction twice since i joined years ago, i dont send cockpics unless asked so how is it i could send out 50 of those messages to women and couples but most dont even get read even though they are clearly online then out of those that get read most people check out your attached pics or profile but dont really read it and then finally out of those 50 well thought out personally tailored messages less than 10 people view your profile..oh but women and couples have it hard getting "too many messages" anyone whos been part of a swinging couple (I have) knows its not that hard to actually show some human decency and read your messages and not just scroll down the little profile pics next to the message looking for the fittest ones ooops did i ruin the big secret? Obviously if the profile pic is truly gross then DELETE..Unverified? DELETE shit cut and paste message DELETE but dont sit their with your lies and tell me it doesnt happen atleast the people who admit it have some dignity but either way whether you deny it or not if you as a woman or couple felt compelled enough to comment or felt targeted by that statement you have already proved the OP right, but its not guilt that made you comment it was your hubris that made you..a self defence mechanism to protect your ego from the realisation youre a hypocrite.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

That's you all told.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

It's all kicking off Agnes.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the people with all these excuses, you complain when men dont read profiles but barely ever read theirs whether they read yours or not, most of you beliitle men and fly into a 3 year olds tantrum when someone points out your faults even in forums that were made to do so, hundreds of you here and thousands in general completely disregard how men are treated and how much it takes out of you to be treated with disdain a disrespect by 80% of you people. Ive seen couples refuse to meet me because im not their type but when my fem fb is in town its different suddenly my profile gets the human decency of being read. I ALWAYS read profiles and only message if im interested and think they would be too based on their profile, im always polite and put effort into my messages infact i doubt ive ever used the same introduction twice since i joined years ago, i dont send cockpics unless asked so how is it i could send out 50 of those messages to women and couples but most dont even get read even though they are clearly online then out of those that get read most people check out your attached pics or profile but dont really read it and then finally out of those 50 well thought out personally tailored messages less than 10 people view your profile..oh but women and couples have it hard getting "too many messages" anyone whos been part of a swinging couple (I have) knows its not that hard to actually show some human decency and read your messages and not just scroll down the little profile pics next to the message looking for the fittest ones ooops did i ruin the big secret? Obviously if the profile pic is truly gross then DELETE..Unverified? DELETE shit cut and paste message DELETE but dont sit their with your lies and tell me it doesnt happen atleast the people who admit it have some dignity but either way whether you deny it or not if you as a woman or couple felt compelled enough to comment or felt targeted by that statement you have already proved the OP right, but its not guilt that made you comment it was your hubris that made you..a self defence mechanism to protect your ego from the realisation youre a hypocrite. "

Cor blimey.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"They can what ? You don't make that clear."

Sorry. They can choose how they act upon those feelings, as you said.

I’m sure you can see why I thought your other comment was in response to my post, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Breathe, L-B-213, breathe.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"They can what ? You don't make that clear.

Sorry. They can choose how they act upon those feelings, as you said.

I’m sure you can see why I thought your other comment was in response to my post, too."

Thanks.

If they can choose how they act upon their feelings then they are responsible for their actions as I said.

No. I can't see why you thought that. I can only imagine and I don't like early assumptions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same.

Ok, but I would like to know what suggestions you may have on how to improve the situation.

It's simple. Be nice. Reply to messages, or use your filters so you aren't too swamped to answer them.

Men aren't meat to me, they are delicious desserts. "
more whipped cream with that miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA

Most are and even if we're not, we are by and large trying to entice people on the basis of our sexual allure.

In the vanilla world, that's pretty much the definition of a meat market. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just let's be honest with ourselves. "

I disagree. You’re essentially boiling down any seeking of interaction as being a meat market, I disagree - if someone is selling their thoughts and opinions it’s not just meat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you give is what you get...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

theres no hard and fast rules that you have to read or reply to a message

its quite simple though , be polite and respectable

treat others how you would expect to be treated yourself ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean really people would rather turn down a real swinger fir a slightly fitter guy whos profile is less than ten words and doesnt have a facepic displayed because of his "work"..I told you i read profiles that means veris and sometimes even the profiles behind those veris. Ive seen it happen #donttellmeitdoesnt.

If it seems like im angry..I am and no not because i got turned down its because im a swinger too..Just because im a single man on a swinging site doesnt mean im not human..Men arent even allowed to complain because most women and couples jump on it and gang up on you for daring to think men have it even slightly hard. Just like what happened in this thread.

#donttellmeitdoesnt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone pointed out earlier, it’s probably more accurate to say that ignoring messages is treating someone like nothing, not treating like a piece of meat. The question is at what point in a communication is it required to treat someone like as better than nothing? What in life should be replied to and what should be treated as junk mail? I know for a fact that if I apply for an NHS job, in many trusts if I am not shortlisted I will not hear back. I guess that means I’m being treated like nothing, and I certainly don’t think my job application was junk mail. With regards to Fab, we get about half a dozen messages a week and reply to about half of those. We are heavily filtered and our profile is hostile because we don’t want the admin chore of replying to lots of messages. We’ve never had abuse from Fab, but I think couples probably have it easier. We do not tell men they are not our type or words of that effect, because we would not want someone to say that to us. We just say that we aren’t looking. Which is usually true. On that matter we too have had messages ignored or people go suddenly silent. Even been ignored by people or our friends list when we invite to a house party. Have also had single men convenient disappear when they get a girlfriend or when life gets ‘busy’ (probably the same ones that grumble about people not replying). So I don’t think it’s just single men that get treated as nothing. I guess it may be harder for single men to swallow because they have less options altogether. We might not reply to every single message. But we reply to every text message, always turn up on time and never let someone down. That’s probably more important.

Mrs

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I mean really people would rather turn down a real swinger fir a slightly fitter guy whos profile is less than ten words and doesnt have a facepic displayed because of his "work"..I told you i read profiles that means veris and sometimes even the profiles behind those veris. Ive seen it happen #donttellmeitdoesnt.

#donttellmeitdoesnt "

No one turns down a 'real swinger' for a man with no pic and a ten word profile. They DO turn down one man for another one that they fancy more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Breathe, L-B-213, breathe."
yeah sure thanks for patronizeing me nice one, any way since im typing saying (Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack L-B-213 Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack) would have been funnier lol

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

That's the reality and it isn't going to change.

No, no, no, no, no. Just because you /treat/ people like they are disposable, doesn’t mean they are. It’s not a reality, it’s an attitude."

But it's the reality on this site. . You can call it an attitude, but it's the common attitude on the site and given the nature of the site, it isn't going to change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#donttellmeitdoesnt "

Not sure I understand. What is it that happens to you that makes you feel you are not treated as s human?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#donttellmeitdoesnt

No one turns down a 'real swinger' for a man with no pic and a ten word profile. They DO turn down one man for another one that they fancy more.

"
and yet they do, have and will continue to do so?

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

We treat people how we are treated so if a stupid one liner is sent then dont complain if you recieve one back.

Frank

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA

Most are and even if we're not, we are by and large trying to entice people on the basis of our sexual allure.

In the vanilla world, that's pretty much the definition of a meat market. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just let's be honest with ourselves.

I disagree. You’re essentially boiling down any seeking of interaction as being a meat market, I disagree - if someone is selling their thoughts and opinions it’s not just meat. "

But we're not (on the whole) trying to attract people with our thoughts and opinions on here, we're trying to attract them with our bodies. If we weren't, there would be no need for pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA

Most are and even if we're not, we are by and large trying to entice people on the basis of our sexual allure.

In the vanilla world, that's pretty much the definition of a meat market. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just let's be honest with ourselves.

I disagree. You’re essentially boiling down any seeking of interaction as being a meat market, I disagree - if someone is selling their thoughts and opinions it’s not just meat.

But we're not (on the whole) trying to attract people with our thoughts and opinions on here, we're trying to attract them with our bodies. If we weren't, there would be no need for pics. "

I’m only disagreeing with your all encompassing “even if we’re not” in response to my comment above. I understand your point, but it isn’t *always* the case - and having photos doesn’t mean it’s only reductionist to being a meat market exchange, so I disagree that it’s dishonest to suggest it is only a meat market in here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours "

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all put up alluring pics of ourselves in the hope we can entice people we like to have no strings sex with us.

In a sense we are all presenting ourselves as prime cuts in the butcher's window.

Not everyone is seeking NSA

Most are and even if we're not, we are by and large trying to entice people on the basis of our sexual allure.

In the vanilla world, that's pretty much the definition of a meat market. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just let's be honest with ourselves.

I disagree. You’re essentially boiling down any seeking of interaction as being a meat market, I disagree - if someone is selling their thoughts and opinions it’s not just meat.

But we're not (on the whole) trying to attract people with our thoughts and opinions on here, we're trying to attract them with our bodies. If we weren't, there would be no need for pics.

Ah but on re-reading you did requalify with by and large. Good - as you were.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"No. I can't see why you thought that. I can only imagine and I don't like early assumptions."
You can’t see why I thought something written in a post which contained a response to me might have been directed at me? Okay... (Btw, you have s way of agreeing with people which reads like you’re disagreeing with them.)

"What you give is what you get..."
Obvious humblebrag is obvious. It’s also demonstrably untrue, on a case by case basis, but don’t let that stop you feeling better about yourself.

"...and doesnt have a facepic displayed because of his "work"..."
As someone who can’t have his face displayed because of work, I’d like a clarification on why you felt the need to put it in quotation marks.

"...any way since im typing saying (Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack L-B-213 Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack) would have been funnier lol"
No, it wouldn’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#donttellmeitdoesnt

No one turns down a 'real swinger' for a man with no pic and a ten word profile. They DO turn down one man for another one that they fancy more.

and yet they do, have and will continue to do so?"

People just turn people down that they simply arent attracted to surely, whether they're a real swinger/serial shagger or supermodel.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"But we're not (on the whole) trying to attract people with our thoughts and opinions on here, we're trying to attract them with our bodies. If we weren't, there would be no need for pics. "

You’re not. Different people take many different approaches. If it was down to attracting people with our bodies, I would have no meets.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack first"

David Cameron ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

#donttellmeitdoesnt

No one turns down a 'real swinger' for a man with no pic and a ten word profile. They DO turn down one man for another one that they fancy more.

and yet they do, have and will continue to do so?

People just turn people down that they simply arent attracted to surely, whether they're a real swinger/serial shagger or supermodel."

I'm on the supermodel bench.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"No. I can't see why you thought that. I can only imagine and I don't like early assumptions.You can’t see why I thought something written in a post which contained a response to me might have been directed at me? Okay... (Btw, you have s way of agreeing with people which reads like you’re disagreeing with them.)

What you give is what you get...Obvious humblebrag is obvious. It’s also demonstrably untrue, on a case by case basis, but don’t let that stop you feeling better about yourself.

...and doesnt have a facepic displayed because of his "work"...As someone who can’t have his face displayed because of work, I’d like a clarification on why you felt the need to put it in quotation marks.

...any way since im typing saying (Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack L-B-213 Interlocking fingers leaning back in chair knuckle crack) would have been funnier lolNo, it wouldn’t."

I know.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"But we're not (on the whole) trying to attract people with our thoughts and opinions on here, we're trying to attract them with our bodies. If we weren't, there would be no need for pics.

You’re not. Different people take many different approaches. If it was down to attracting people with our bodies, I would have no meets."

Note the "on the whole" there may be a few exceptions, but most people on here are looking to find people they find physically attractive to have sex with and using their own physicality to attract others.

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By *ccasionalfunCouple
over a year ago

hereandthere

We are happy to delete mail without reading or replying

It's not rude, I don't reply to all booking.coms offers I get saying we are not free at that time.

Pics are the main and first reason we will choose someone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyway, that’s more than enough waffle from me, sorry. Carry on."

So many times, people will say if men don't get a reply "just move on to the next one". Like people are just a piece of meat. Or a name on a screen.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't have any public pictures, and my profile is a bit hostile at the moment (for good reasons which will change). I'm reasonably clear that I'm not meeting anyone at short notice. I'm still getting more attention than I can handle. While I'd prefer to be polite to everyone, it's just not possible (and I'm sure it'll get worse when I do put up a profile picture and I'm fit enough to stop making my injury front and centre). And neither my profile nor my verifications are particularly explicit.

Those who engage with me do so on the basis of my words and ideas. Or at least those I reply to (I do delete any generic messages, and they'll appear unread if I can read the whole thing in the preview). I do likewise. My first social, I'd forgotten to send a picture before we met (and yes, that went well and we've met again). My experience is probably atypical, but some who are here for NSA are here for connection as well as NSA.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"What a ridiculous (and perhaps deliberately?) inflammatory statement!!

Superb post. It beggars belief how much crap is presented to women as a baited hook in the name of selling themselves by blokes. I guess some woman and indeed couples do likewise but it isn't anything like the men. As has been said many times before, it does at least act as a filter, even if it does get clogged up with crap pretty quickly

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I don't reply to all booking.coms offers I get saying we are not free at that time."
Hey, congratulations on picking an example that isn’t remotely analogous, but does clearly demonstrate your view of the people on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway, that’s more than enough waffle from me, sorry. Carry on.

So many times, people will say if men don't get a reply "just move on to the next one". Like people are just a piece of meat. Or a name on a screen.

That with due respect is what couples have to do if they don’t get a reply. And that’s people have to do if they don’t hear back after applying for a job - move on to the next possibility.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are offended by people not responding or showing interest in you, then maybe this site isn't for you.

Nobody is obliged to respond to any mail they don't want to.

Respect for other peoples boundaries and desires are the only obligations.

If you someone delete's your message without responding it means you haven't met peaked their interest enough to merit a response. Don' take it personally. Its not a fuck you, its a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#donttellmeitdoesnt

No one turns down a 'real swinger' for a man with no pic and a ten word profile. They DO turn down one man for another one that they fancy more.

I wouldn't know a real swinger if they kicked me in the bollocks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people really aren't cut out for online interactions.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Some people really aren't cut out for online interactions. "
Name names! My granny wouldn’t get the hang of it. Not sure my neighbour would, either. Who were you thinking of?

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By *ormalguy8Man
over a year ago

oldham

Really interesting thread here

Agree with those who say ignoring a message isn’t treating someone like a piece of meat, to me that’s when you use someone purely for your own pleasure and ignore theirs.

It is, I agree, demoralising when messages aren’t replied to but that’s the nature of the beast and simple supply and demand, too many of us single guys chasing too few women and couples. So you just suck it up. Replying with an playground insult is just childish and will quickly get you a bad rap.

Yes it’s a swinging site but if this were a job site would you fire off a response to every ad and expect a reply? Not really any different here.

Read the profile, if someone says they are not looking for single guys, don’t message as clearly you’ve not read the most basic part of the profile. Sell yourself, be pleasant and interesting. But be prepared to be knocked back, many times. Hell I’ve been knocked back so many times it feels like I’m punch d*unk.

Right, as someone said that’s enough waffle from me.

Anyone for a mug of tea and a toasted hot cross bun??

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Who want to see my cock ? "

Not again thanks...........

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Really interesting thread here

Agree with those who say ignoring a message isn’t treating someone like a piece of meat, to me that’s when you use someone purely for your own pleasure and ignore theirs.

Yes it’s a swinging site but if this were a job site would you fire off a response to every ad and expect a reply? Not really any different here.

Right, as someone said that’s enough waffle from me.

Anyone for a mug of tea and a toasted hot cross bun??"

Bit too soon after my dinner but i'll have a tea please. No milk. No sugar.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

And don't knock me back. You have no rights to. I'm entitled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack first"
that's a new one on me ! Let me google veg kink ,and I'll get back to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack first"
Do you also bring your veg to clubs ?,just curious

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By *ormalguy8Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Really interesting thread here

Agree with those who say ignoring a message isn’t treating someone like a piece of meat, to me that’s when you use someone purely for your own pleasure and ignore theirs.

Yes it’s a swinging site but if this were a job site would you fire off a response to every ad and expect a reply? Not really any different here.

Right, as someone said that’s enough waffle from me.

Anyone for a mug of tea and a toasted hot cross bun??

Bit too soon after my dinner but i'll have a tea please. No milk. No sugar. "

Consider it done

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack firstthat's a new one on me ! Let me google veg kink ,and I'll get back to you"

Make sure you do get back. She’s not a piece of meat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it’s a swinging site but if this were a job site would you fire off a response to every ad and expect a reply? Not really any different here.

This exactly! Although we do try to reply to most, I often wonder why we put that amount of time into replying to messages, when I wouldn’t get the same level of respect when applying for a job. Let’s get things in perspective.

Mrs

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack firstthat's a new one on me ! Let me google veg kink ,and I'll get back to you

Make sure you do get back. She’s not a piece of meat "
Noooooo sounds more like a ButternutSquash.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Yes it’s a swinging site but if this were a job site would you fire off a response to every ad and expect a reply? Not really any different here.

Mrs"

Some folk find keeping perspective difficult, particularly when their blood supply is being cut off from their head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

Would they do that face 2 face? Would they blank someone in the street if they said a friendly hello? I doubt it but for some its the norm here 2 think there above others from behind there sheild/screen.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Even weirdos need lurrrrrve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you send a well thought out message, after reading there profile and it gets deleted without being read. I love that, it’s brilliant!

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Through my work (and some friends) I have a lot of contact with people who are out of work and job-hunting. It’s worth noting that, far and away, the over-riding feeling is one of being utterly demoralised by the lack of any feedback from companies. Every single person says that they’d feel a bit better if they even got a ‘no thanks’. They would at least know that their efforts are achieving more than screaming into the void. But the total absence of any acknowledgement makes them feel less than human.

It’s brilliant that some of you are unaffected. I’m honestly happy for you, I’m sure it makes life easier. But don’t try to dismiss a natural, human reaction the same way that you dismiss the humans having it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even weirdos need lurrrrrve. "

PMSL but the type of love they are after I'm not willing to do lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

I don’t think it’s comparable to someone saying hello in the street. Of course I would say hello if some said hello if they were passing me in the street. But after exchanging pleasantries one moves on. But if I respond to someone sayng hello on a sex site, I will then be encouraging an on line be conversation I never wanted and getting that persons hopes up.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve replied to ever message I’ve received on Fab, both of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs"

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself.

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By *ormalguy8Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Through my work (and some friends) I have a lot of contact with people who are out of work and job-hunting. It’s worth noting that, far and away, the over-riding feeling is one of being utterly demoralised by the lack of any feedback from companies. Every single person says that they’d feel a bit better if they even got a ‘no thanks’. They would at least know that their efforts are achieving more than screaming into the void. But the total absence of any acknowledgement makes them feel less than human.

I don’t think everyone is unaffected but if you do let affect you then this site can truly chew you up and spit you out and not give you a second thought. But such is the nature of the internet. It’s made it easier to meet on some levels but it has, sadly, made it easier for people to simply ignore you, no matter how much effort you may have put in.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I’ve replied to ever message I’ve received on Fab, both of them. "

He's telling the truth ....... he really is.

Can't believe you've only had 2.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having experienced this myself, I agree with you that feedback would be better when sending an application. But I understand that if employers were to put more resources into this area there would be less resources elsewhere. There needs to be a sense of reasonability, and women on sex sites cannot be held responsible for hundreds of men’s sense of self worth. I’ll do what I can to avoid dehumanising someone, but I’m not sure it’s reasonable to have years of a daily admin task when we only joined for a bit of fun. I do feel single men could be a bit more understanding about that. Understanding needs to go both ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deleting or not is surely no different from swiping left or right as people do with other apps.

Perhaps its the expectations on here that its a sex site (And therefore people may feel entitled to get sex) that leads some to feel like a piece of meat? Who knows, I'm just speculating based on the OP.

I certainly don't feel like a piece of meat even posting loads of nudes of myself. Its my kick.. How others may view me is their business. If they're not interested I couldn't care less... The fact I smoke may put many off as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself."

I guess it’s not possible to know how someone wants to be treated. I would hate it if some said ‘you’re not for me’. So I will treat people as I want to be treated, which becomes a problem when they want different treatment from want would work for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself.

I've had some good funny conversations with people I've said your not for me 2.It also makes me feel better that I've not just blanked them like there not there or lower than me.If they do get upset or hostile about you not being attracted 2 them then there in the wrong so you leave them 2 sulk alone lol.

As I said before were all different and we all treat people in different ways.My way personally is 2 treat people how I would like 2 be treated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But this happens all the time on the forums. If anyone says they felt hurt at something that happened, they get told to suck it up. Unless they're a woman - then they're given hugs.

People are told to forget the rejection and move on to the next one. I'm not sure how many 'humans' are on this site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself.

As I said before were all different and we all treat people in different ways.My way personally is 2 treat people how I would like 2 be treated."

I do the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself.

As I said before were all different and we all treat people in different ways.My way personally is 2 treat people how I would like 2 be treated.

I do the same. "

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

This is not ‘treating people like pieces of meat’.

I’m hidden so no one gets chance to treat me like a ‘piece of meat’!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people really aren't cut out for online interactions. Name names! My granny wouldn’t get the hang of it. Not sure my neighbour would, either. Who were you thinking of?"

Those who think that online interactions are the same as face to face. They are very different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try 2 reply to all messages appart from the weird ones even if it's just a sorry your not for me.

I have noticed that mind set on here of arrogance and igronance though.

I guess if people treat you that way and you still come back for more then they feel entitled 2 do it again as your feeding there ego.

Mrs

I've always treated people the way I would like 2 be treated but those are my views and were all different.

So a friendly hello back and your not for me is straight to the point and keeps people grounded including myself.

As I said before were all different and we all treat people in different ways.My way personally is 2 treat people how I would like 2 be treated.

I do the same. "

Me too. And on here I don't get butt hurt when I get ignored/ deleted/ blocked. It's part of online communication.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Ultimately when you cut through the crap and the hyperbole and the way the OP and other posts have been dressed up this thread actually amounts to the simple question (that's asked on a daily basis) of "Is it ok to ignore a message from someone that doesn't interest you?"

Simple answer is "Yes it is, no-one has to interact with anyone they don't want to, for whatever reason they choose"

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

"I delete any messages that don’t interest me.

I almost always reply to regular forum posters.

I don’t discriminate between men, couples or women, if I don’t like something about someone I just delete.

Exactly this .

I don’t care what anyone thinks about this approach.

Have a nice day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve cut meat out my diet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack firstthat's a new one on me ! Let me google veg kink ,and I'll get back to you

Make sure you do get back. She’s not a piece of meat "
If she allowed me to treat her that way ,what's the problem ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve cut meat out my diet

"
Don't believe you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd love to treat Autumn like a piece of meat ,for a couple of hours

I always bring an eye wateringly large vegetable with me, I'd love to use you as a veg rack firstthat's a new one on me ! Let me google veg kink ,and I'll get back to you

Make sure you do get back. She’s not a piece of meat Noooooo sounds more like a ButternutSquash."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve cut meat out my diet

Don't believe you "

Loving all the Quorn stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve cut meat out my diet

Don't believe you

Loving all the Quorn stuff

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By *ccasionalfunCouple
over a year ago

hereandthere

Before hiding our profile it said unless we have a meet posted then we are not meeting.

We still got messages asking to meet.

I then changed the profile to say nothing but we are not meeting.

Yet the mail asking to meet carried on.

Deleting these messages without replying is not rude in the slightest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be treated like a piece of meat is to objectify the person - for desire and nothing else.

To delete an email / not reply / not want to see more cock pics ... is not objectifying them.

To discard another’s email is no different than walking past a clothing shop window saying to oneself I like that... I dislike that.....someone has created the shop window, the clothes, the layout, style, lighting - some make it outstanding and some don’t.

We have a choice to go into the shop or not. We are attracted or invited in by the said email. Discarding the email shows we are not attracted to its content either visual photo or content.

In fact those that send generic emails are they not behaving in such a way as to treat others like a piece of meat - send out 30 generic emails - nothing personal - see what comes back to meet my desire ..... perhaps those are the ones that get discarded first.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"butt hurt"
That’s a standard internet way of diminishing or dismissing other’s feelings. You posted the other day that people labelling you a certain way offended you. Would you like it if everyone dismissed that as being butt-hurt?

"Simple answer is "Yes it is, no-one has to interact with anyone they don't want to, for whatever reason they choose""
People can do whatever they want in all aspects of life. It doesn’t mean that it’s without consequence, or necessarily the right thing to do. There’s no hyperbole in how this affects people, btw. The results are evident.

"Deleting these messages without replying is not rude in the slightest. "
In that very specific example... quite possibly. There are message filters, btw...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be treated like a piece of meat is to objectify the person - for desire and nothing else.

To delete an email / not reply / not want to see more cock pics ... is not objectifying them.

We have a choice to go into the shop or not. We are attracted or invited in by the said email. Discarding the email shows we are not attracted to its content either visual photo or content.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"To delete an email / not reply / not want to see more cock pics ... is not objectifying them."
We’ve already covered this. The wording wasn’t ideal, but we get the idea.

Regarding your shop analogy; it doesn’t really work. Our profiles are our ‘shop windows’ and, as you look at the profile, you have the choice to walk on by. Ignoring a message is more akin to blanking the customer who has walked into your shop.

"In fact those that send generic emails are they not behaving in such a way as to treat others like a piece of meat..."
Quite possibly, yes. I’m not sure anyone is condoning sending out hundreds of messages spamming everyone.

I’m not sure if somebody sending out dozens of identikit messages would notice or take note of who replies. I think the issue here may be that genuine attempts at communication are often treated with the same disdain / contempt / whatever by the recipients.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"butt hurtThat’s a standard internet way of diminishing or dismissing other’s feelings. You posted the other day that people labelling you a certain way offended you. Would you like it if everyone dismissed that as being butt-hurt?

Others are welcome to view that as me being butt hurt. I have no issue if they think I'm overreacting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SteelHeels I love your forum posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty sure there's some punchlines about "pounding" "tenderising" or "roasting" in here somewhere...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So many women and couples complain that they are treated like a piece of meat, but they treat men the same.

They delete mail without replying. They just look at a man's profile/ pics and reject him with no interaction.

Do you do this? Do you feel at all guilty for treating men like a piece of meat?

Do you realise that you are part of the problem- by treating men this way they will treat you the same."

I would agree but some get treat like a nobody too i would say

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Simple answer is "Yes it is, no-one has to interact with anyone they don't want to, for whatever reason they choose"

People can do whatever they want in all aspects of life. It doesn’t mean that it’s without consequence, or necessarily the right thing to do. There’s no hyperbole in how this affects people, btw. The results are evident.

Posting my original post back in for the avoidance of loss of context

In the instance under discussion, there's absolutely no consequence to the person deleting the message, and arguably for most sending it too.

Whether it's the "right thing" to do is subjective, as the thread has clearly shown - personally absolutely it's the right thing to do, just in the same way as deleting junk mail is the right thing to do.

As for how it affects those that are ignored - sure it can be frustrating, but to be frustrated also suggests a sense of entitlement, and is that good?

Ultimately though the overwhelming majority of users here just get on with it, accept the limitations and restrictions for what they are and make the best of the site they can - I know that's what I do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it like , when on the dance floor in a nightclub. Someone approached you for a dance by dancing right by you and you’d think no thanks. You’d just move further over or ignore them. After all you didn’t ask them over, so why do you have to interact?

And I’m sure on the other so called dating sites, women get ignored too when messaging. It’s not a one way street.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Whether it's the "right thing" to do is subjective, as the thread has clearly shown"
Indeed. You have correctly identified what we are discussing.

"In fact, for the most part, the ONLY people that appear to think it's the wrong thing to do to ignore messages, are those whose messages are ignored (and even then not all of them) - funny that eh, who'd have thought it!!"
Well, you see, now I think you’re making claims you’re not really entitled to make. Particularly when there are two very different types of messages being discussed.

Out of interest, if I give myself a thumbs-up at the end of my message, does it turn it into some universal truth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ultimately when you cut through the crap and the hyperbole and the way the OP and other posts have been dressed up this thread actually amounts to the simple question (that's asked on a daily basis) of "Is it ok to ignore a message from someone that doesn't interest you?"

Simple answer is "Yes it is, no-one has to interact with anyone they don't want to, for whatever reason they choose"

Posting my original post back in for the avoidance of loss of context

In the instance under discussion, there's absolutely no consequence to the person deleting the message, and arguably for most sending it too.

As for how it affects those that are ignored - sure it can be frustrating, but to be frustrated also suggests a sense of entitlement, and is that good?

I think it's wrong to ignore messages. I also think it's wrong to court attention and then ignore it.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Boom.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Whether it's the "right thing" to do is subjective, as the thread has clearly shownIndeed. You have correctly identified what we are discussing.

In fact, for the most part, the ONLY people that appear to think it's the wrong thing to do to ignore messages, are those whose messages are ignored (and even then not all of them) - funny that eh, who'd have thought it!!Well, you see, now I think you’re making claims you’re not really entitled to make. Particularly when there are two very different types of messages being discussed.

Out of interest, if I give myself a thumbs-up at the end of my message, does it turn it into some universal truth?

Serious question. Are you suggesting we are morally obliged to reply to every message we get?

If so, would a standard. "sorry, not for us" suffice, or should we craft an individual message for each person (as, presumably, sending a generic message would be as dehumanising as ignoring).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's interesting the way we all react to the same treatment differently. We all experience the same type of responses from the same types of people. Ok men probably have a different experience to women who have a different experience to couples. But not all men whinge about the same behaviours. Not all women or couples do either. I think the way you deal with the things you don't like depends on the type of person you are. Like I said before, some just aren't the type of people that deal well with online interaction.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Well, you see, now I think you’re making claims you’re not really entitled to make. Particularly when there are two very different types of messages being discussed."

The type of message doesn't bear any relevance at all - ultimately the decision to ignore a message or not comes down to individual choice of the recipient and whether they think a reply is required - it may be the most vile and abusive message going, or it may be a well written and articulate message but on this site, if it's with a view to ultimately meeting someone- if there's no attraction based on the sender's profile, pics and indeed message then it's perfectly ok not to reply.

And that's a claim I'm perfectly entitled to make based on the site's own FAQs

"Out of interest, if I give myself a thumbs-up at the end of my message, does it turn it into some universal truth?

No it doesn't, any more than assuming you're giving yourself a thumbs up, as opposed to indicating you've expressed your opinion and are done does

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