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Advice needed please

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Some non fab advice needed please. A friend is waiting on test results and a diagnosis. As you can imagine their head is up their arse.

I want to be supportive and don't want to be that person who says "Don't worry" as that would be dismissive and insulting.

Peeps who have been in a similar position can you tell me what support was helpful, and what was appreciated?

Thanks all

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Being available.

Listening.

Never ever giving advice unless asked for

Never ever saying oh it'll be okay.

Listening

Listening

Listening

Having a few things to say/do to raise a laugh or take their mind off it.

Listening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There isn't a lot you can do other than be there as and when they need you

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By *appyhumper123Man
over a year ago

hull

Just being there is a big comfort

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Being available.

Listening.

Never ever giving advice unless asked for

Never ever saying oh it'll be okay.

Listening

Listening

Listening

Having a few things to say/do to raise a laugh or take their mind off it.

Listening."

Pretty much covers it. I went through some shit last year and the amount of ppl who said don't worry it will be ok. By the end I wanted to smack em

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By *alking DisasterWoman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

Might sound like a strange thing to say, but don't make it about you.

As Granny Crumpet said, be available, listen and do stuff to take their mind off it. And don't ask them how appointments go, wait for them to tell you.

Outside of your friend, make sure you have a good support group too. Just in case.

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Thank you all. Appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im very matter of fact - say nothing anybody can do until you get the results and then you will be there to support whatever is needed -

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Unfortunately if you are expecting bad news nothing really helps just be there and listen.

A good friend will say nothing and let you pour your heart out while holding your hand or your hair back while being sick.

Hope your friend is OK.

Just be there for them now matter what.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Being available.

Listening.

Never ever giving advice unless asked for

Never ever saying oh it'll be okay.

Listening

Listening

Listening

Having a few things to say/do to raise a laugh or take their mind off it.

Listening."

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By *angtidy42Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

I'd also ask them question that will let them think about what is going on.

And listen to what they have to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen and be honest.Never say everthing be ok as you dont know .Worst thing you can say is i no how you feel as you dont .just support her and be a friend .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be the same person you always are...just be there for them.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

If your friend gets unwanted news, and you give all the support as excellently advised, you might find yourself stressed and drained. Supporters need support, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your friend gets unwanted news, and you give all the support as excellently advised, you might find yourself stressed and drained. Supporters need support, too."

That is so so true ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your friend gets unwanted news, and you give all the support as excellently advised, you might find yourself stressed and drained. Supporters need support, too."

totally agree with this

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP. I have been in this position before, so will say this...

Tell your friend. "I'm here for as much or as little as you need me.

If you need to ring me and scream at someone when it all gets too much or just need to rant, I will listen!

If I or other mutual friends can be of physical help, be

it at home, do the shopping etc., tell us."

These few lines I adopted for a friend years ago who was given 12 months to live with Cancer; she survived another 7 years and it was hard going.

But that's what friends are for!

Just make sure you have support too.

We're here for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Listen and be honest.Never say everthing be ok as you dont know .Worst thing you can say is i no how you feel as you dont .just support her and be a friend ."
i 2nd this advice .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learned recently, and think it's quite good advice...

No amount of worry is going to change the outcome. I much prefer people to help take my mind of things rather than dwell on them.

Hope your friend is okay.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

Supporting my sister in law with terminal cancer. People are all different in how they wish to be treated by friends and family. She knows I'm here whenever she needs me. When we go for scan results, I just say, it is what it is, we'll deal with it, when we know what we're dealing with. So just support and treat the person as you would normally and good luck.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Treat them as normal.

Speak to them about things you normally speak about.

Listen to them.

Let them know you are thinking about them.

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Many thanks again fab people for all the good advice

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Being available.

Listening.

Never ever giving advice unless asked for

Never ever saying oh it'll be okay.

Listening

Listening

Listening

Having a few things to say/do to raise a laugh or take their mind off it.

Listening."

This!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If it's on the NHS and they are in a good area, if the outcome isn't a good one, they can be assured of being seen fast. If they are in a bad area, they can be assured of extended wait times. Whichever, if you can go to their next appointment that would be useful as them going alone seems not to gain the best results. Whenever I have received treatment, having someone there with me has always brought a better service.

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