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Altzhiemers

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I dont really know if this is the right thing to post but

Last night I went over to wetherby to see my mum and dad, my dad was diagnosed with altzhiemers a couple of months ago, it's got to the point where he didn't even recognise me, broke my heat to see him like that.

Has anyone on here gone through that

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

No but I know people who have. Make sure you get in tough with groups and societies that you can talk to. People who know what it's like to go through this as a family member.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's difficult and it will get harder.

My mother had Alzheimer's and Frontotemporal Dementia so the available meds had limited effect.

Make sure your mother gets some support and regular breaks, even just going to a support group once a week. It is exhausting living with and looking after someone with dementia.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I can understand everything you feel and may have to deal with in the future. I live with someone with dementia and it's not easy to watch them deteriorate over the years. You will have the occasional laugh at some of the silliness in the early stages but that won't last long.

There's a lot of support available but it's pretty much only advice and nothing else. We needed care cover for a few hours to go to my grandmothers funeral and couldn't get it. NHS pretty much said "she's your problem, good luck".

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks


"I dont really know if this is the right thing to post but

Last night I went over to wetherby to see my mum and dad, my dad was diagnosed with altzhiemers a couple of months ago, it's got to the point where he didn't even recognise me, broke my heat to see him like that.

Has anyone on here gone through that"

Yes mate. My Mother. We didn’t have the best of relationships but I managed to get her into a superb care home that look after her so well. She exists in 15 minute windows of time so I only tend to spend little snippets with her as she gets upset the more she goes round.

It’s horrible but I find talking about the things she does remember helps soothe her and makes her day. It’s pretty boring on the outside looking in as the conversation is very repetitive.

I feel you mate.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Sorry for you and your Mum. Two months, that is extremely quick to go from knowing you to not..Sad times.

Yep Mother in Law wasnt good she had other problems too and went back to the war when she worked in the mental hospital in Paisley. Thought she saw bombs everyhere. Very difficult for my Oleman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes worst most helpless feeling iv ever had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes, family and through work. sadly there is hardly anyone who won't be touched by it. The Alzheimer Society is brilliant, and there is a lot more help available now than in the past from them and other agencies.Try and access as many of them as possible. I wish you all the best, its not easy, but take all the help available.

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By *uperchargedMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Yep, my mum's in a local nursing home with severe dementia, she doesn't know who we are, who she is, where she is & has no awareness of anything going on. She'll sit & stare at a wall all day until bedtime.

It's no life at all, just existing. Folks used to say I was cruel when I'd say she should be given 'a tablet' but when they've gone through the same they get it

She used to be so active. She ran her own business until she retired but stayed busy with hobbies, arts, crafts etc & to see her now is upsetting

But there you go. We wait until she shuffles off her mortal coil. She wont get better, medication seems to keep her in a permanent vegatative state so goodness knows what she'd be like if she didn't have those

Depressing & sobering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont really know if this is the right thing to post but

Last night I went over to wetherby to see my mum and dad, my dad was diagnosed with altzhiemers a couple of months ago, it's got to the point where he didn't even recognise me, broke my heat to see him like that.

Has anyone on here gone through that"

Sadly yes. Cared for my dad for 8 years with mixed dementia, Alzheimer’s and vascular. Desperately sad, heartbreaking times but still lots of laughter- you have to take heart in the comedy moments. He passed away just 2 years ago, still miss him desperately every day. But he’s definitely in a better place it’s a cruel disease.

Is your mum getting lots of support in caring for him? It’s the hardest job I’ve ever done

Xx

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By *lay-full-funCouple
over a year ago

stockport

Yea Danny's dad. We have some days that r good an some bad sometimes he doesn't know who Danny is and he still thinks he is a bus driver an is always looking for the car keys to go to work as he is late it is very heartbreaking to c him go through this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to get your mum some support in quickly. Your mum is entitled to a carers needs assessment and these are usually done by local carers centres or your local council / social services. The assessment will look at your mums caring role and whether she needs any respite putting into place. Your parents might also need an OT assessment to see if they need any adjustments in the home, they make look at income here etc but at least they will know.

They will be entitled then to have a review every year or if there are any changes with your dad, which sadly sometimes can come on quite sudden.

I would also recommend a benefit check just to see if mum is entitled to any allowances,

If the local authorities decide she can have respite she will be allocated a personal budget. This will be for her to put that alternative care into place and pay for it.

Local carers centres offer lots of support including things like training, counselling and befriending.

Just some practical suggestions. Hope this helps xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and get along to a dementia friend talk, I am a champion and do talks all the time and gives people a better understanding sometimes.

Geeky x

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY


"I dont really know if this is the right thing to post but

Last night I went over to wetherby to see my mum and dad, my dad was diagnosed with altzhiemers a couple of months ago, it's got to the point where he didn't even recognise me, broke my heat to see him like that.

Has anyone on here gone through that"

Yes. I have that with my mother (93) who is living back in the 70's and worries who is looking after her mother who died 50 yrs ago.

Just try and remember -

They are not giving you hard time,

it is them that are having a hard time

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By *eansayianMan
over a year ago

oxford

im going through it to, my dad got diagnosed 1 and half yrs ago. he's actually still ok, just struggles to string sentences together sometimes. ive delved into looking what to do in potentially slowing it down. i came across a DR called Dr dale bredesen in the states that thinks diet and supplements are key. he's supposedly reversed some of his patients to a point where they can go back to work. so western diet/ lifestyle could be to blame, as where the western die isnt the rates of it are much lower along with cancers to. Anyway i ordered his book and trying to get my dad to follow a strict diet, but its quite hard. people struggle to change! But look up vids on youtube about it there's a tons of vids from that DR and others talking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum has advanced alzheimers. She is aggresive too as part of the disease but also due to her personality.

I also worked in nursing and care work for many years looking after people with various types of dementia. I have done a lot of training in this field.

Its an awful disease.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there, as a carer its bloody hard to live with. There are some good support systems about, take advantage.

Try to get routines instilled. With reminders of what they are.

Silly things help a lot. Sainsbury's home delivery groceries as an example. Can do shopping online together, get it delivered and you have another pair of eyes popping in. Give them a call and tell them about your dad and you will find they are used to it and extra helpful.

Thankfully mum died last year, but I am still struggling to remember her as my mum not my patient.

All the best.

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By *utonguy2023Man
over a year ago

luton

Been there done it its horrible seeing and knowing whats happening .

My deepest sympathy.

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

My brother's Father in Law was fine and in good health 3 years ago.

He went into Alzheimers and progressed to Dementia within 9 months!

He didn't recognise his wife to whom he'd been married for over 40 yrs but... thought his younger daughter (my brother's wife) was HIS wife such she couldn't be left alone with him in the same room.

His descent from full health through the two illnesses and finally his passing away was only 11 months in total. Even his GP & specialists couldn't believe how quickly he deteriorated.

My brother said it was the most harrowing time of his life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work with dementia residents. It's the families I really feel for. It's like grieving someone when they are still here. Such a horrible thing for a family to go through. Good luck to you and your family x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is my job also - i work with severe dementia where they dont even recognise their own name, how to use a cup or spoon , are doubly incontinent, cant speak - this is the worst it gets and by no means does everybody reach this stage - they will shout and curse if they never have before because their brain cannot find the words they want to use - they will use aggression when they have been the kindest person in the world - its sad for you but terrifying for them but try and remember its just the illness you are seeing not the one you love -

try looking up Teepa Snow - might help xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and it’s difficult. Make sure your Mum has lots of support. My relative still recognised old songs and photos, so we used to play lots of songs from the 40s and 50s. We always went along with what they thought even if it wasn’t factually correct as that didn’t distress them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for all the words of support and advice, my mum is getting as much help and support she is due as she is the one who is on the front line.

It's just hard seeing that strong fàther drift away, he's still my dad and always will be but it's difficult to accept that I am a stranger to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum had Alzheimers so can totally empathise with you OP.

It's a big shock but once you accept it is happening you can

concentrate on supporting your parents. Your local Alzheimer's department will be able to provide help and advice. Also check out the Alzheimer's website. Sending you a big hug x

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

Some of lifes challenges are pretty tough..

I do hope you get some support, like you have on here.

If you can't sleep, the Samaritans offer a 24hr service.Call them free 116 123.you don't have to be suicidal.Sometimes it's easier talking to a stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my nanny's had dementia due to parkinsons she did go live in a very good home but it changed her completely she didn't recognise anyone, had hallucinations and she was always very reserved when she was well it changed her personalitycompletely. It was extremely hard to see.

My other nanny has alzeimers and she is getting very confused now. We had to go to her husbands funeral and when my dad took her home from the wake she said that was a nice party what was it for. She has become very quiet and withdrawn it's so hard to watch

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Not Alzheimer's but a couple of years ago in the last week of my dads life when the cancer had spread to his liver he was very confused due to the toxins in his body and the high doses of morphine, he'd always been a very switched on intelligent man so seeing him reduced to that of a confused hallucinating child was very hard to watch, mercifully he wasn't like that for long

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