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25 ways you know you’re a Swinger!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.

2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.

3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.

4. You have over 50,000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.

5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.

6. You have more lingerie than a hooker.

7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

8. You position the computer screen in such a way your children can’t sneak up on you.

9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.

10. Before traveling somewhere, you look up couples in that area.

11. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon.

12. Your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, and your first thought is”With who?”

13. Your gynecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.

15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”

17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.

18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join you for a foursome.

19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.

20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

21. You hear the word “Playmate” and your first thought is NOT “Playboy”

22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.

23. You remember to bring lube before you remember to bring lipstick.

24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.

25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

26: you're still a virgin?

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

27.

You securely seal the rubbish bags so the Refuse Collectors don't see all the used condoms!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your babysitter thinks you really like going to the cinema for date night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam that’s funny and true lol

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Everyone in your street suspects you may be a hooker because you always leave the house wearing minimal clothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

More words have been added to your tech dictionary related to sexual stuff than all of your friends combined, including cuckold, bareback, swinger etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "

Or you bump into them at least one !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

32.

When someone mentions toys, your not thinking Barbie

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"32.

When someone mentions toys, your not thinking Barbie"

Sooooo true

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

You take a matalic toolbox case with you when you leave the house to go out for the night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You take a matalic toolbox case with you when you leave the house to go out for the night."

Erm I think you’ll find that’s burglars?

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

You smirk when a work colleague says something is fab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You smirk when a work colleague says something is fab."

F-A-B smirk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So funny it has to be true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "

Ha ha ha that's great!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your kids haven't had so many sleepovers at their grandparents before but you collect them after 'a restful night off' more knackered than when you dropped them off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hahah hysterical...made my day!!

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea


"26: you're still a virgin? "

That's me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your kids haven't had so many sleepovers at their grandparents before but you collect them after 'a restful night off' more knackered than when you dropped them off "

Lol that’s awesome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fantastic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you see BBC, your first thought wasn't the the Telly, I was going to write TV, but that would have confused you lot

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Your boss mentions forums in the business sense but your brain thinks Fab!!!

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By *hispers-40Woman
over a year ago

up the garden path


"You smirk when a work colleague says something is fab."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Your boss mentions forums in the business sense but your brain thinks Fab!!! "

fab on the mind

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By *erberaWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

These are brilliant!

Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"These are brilliant!

Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket! "

oh no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First thing you do In the morning is check Fab.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Great post OP

We got 17 out of 25 on the original list and quite a few of the later suggestions as well.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"First thing you do In the morning is check Fab. "

Yep

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"First thing you do In the morning is check Fab. "

Yup that’s me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"These are brilliant!

Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket! "

Lmao

What a tangled web we weave...

I imagine the meet was thinking, not that old chestnut.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sooo funny

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Last thing to do at night - check Fab!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last thing to do at night - check Fab! "

Have a perve

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By *erberaWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen


"These are brilliant!

Experienced the 1 when the kids decided to come with me when going to meet someone so have actually had to go to the supermarket!

Lmao

What a tangled web we weave...

I imagine the meet was thinking, not that old chestnut."

Thankfully we managed to rearrange for the following night lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last thing to do at night - check Fab! "

Yup

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By *ensual EroticismCouple
over a year ago

derby

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wanted to add this .Was out at market today and on a stall was wooden handmade object's .My friend said nice mushroom ornaments but i thought it was butt plug .

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W" "

That would be more fun

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant


"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W"

That would be more fun "

It has to be a yes from me

Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30.you have a leather swing hanging from your bedroom ceiling.

Or is that just me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W"

That would be more fun

It has to be a yes from me

Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp "

Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant


"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W"

That would be more fun

It has to be a yes from me

Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp

Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping. "

Need to copyright the format before my Cowell gets wind of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw a sign the other day "singing auditions inside".

And of course my mind automatically added a "W"

That would be more fun

It has to be a yes from me

Straight through to boots (and stockings) camp

Then Willy dance auditions followed by boob slapping.

Need to copyright the format before my Cowell gets wind of it "

Lol i will

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

that's brilliant imlivid, and some are just sooooo true too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" that's brilliant imlivid, and some are just sooooo true too "

Thank you love the boots btw if I’m ever up that’s way can we compare Tartans

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By *hocolate_HeavenMan
over a year ago

Birmingham and Dubai

15. Has me in stitches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just brillant

Or when someone ask what’s that position and you ve to act stupid knowing bloody well what it is having expericed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your teenage children give you a puzzled look when you refuse to let them borrow your mobile phone anymore

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"15. Has me in stitches "

Who has China ?

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By *ovingittwoCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

All these are so true, the mushroom ornament but plug thing happened to me but I actually said it out loud!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heaven help me. I think I tick most of those boxes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Heaven help me. I think I tick most of those boxes "

That’s why I love this place !

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By *ensual EroticismCouple
over a year ago

derby

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By *ovingittwoCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"When you see BBC, your first thought wasn't the the Telly, I was going to write TV, but that would have confused you lot "

Brilliant c

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By *horecruxCouple
over a year ago

SE4

You got to play golf aswell ?

Damn.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"Your teenage kids are jealous of the number of house parties you go to with friends. They declare your social life is far better than theirs and then there's that awkward moment when they ask if they can come too "

lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't remember the last time you had pubic hair mwahahahaha

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By *ab_SparklesWoman
over a year ago

sparkle Surprised

That's well funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 19!!!! Hahaha this gave me such a giggle on my night shift tonight lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deffo relate to a few of these!!

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

28. When a condom falls out of your wallet and your Mrs has had a hysterectomy... And she then laughs and jokes at your "be prepared" optimism.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"

1. You are wearing wristbands in most of your vacation photos.

2. Half of the numbers on your cell phone are listed only by screen names.

3. You are running out of reasons to tell your coworkers why you can’t go out with them this weekend.

4. You have over 50,000 frequent flyer miles on Air Jamaica.

5. You know most of your friends’ by their first names (Rich & Jen, Frank & Beth) but you don’t know their last names.

6. You have more lingerie than a hooker.

7. You had already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.

8. You position the computer screen in such a way your children can’t sneak up on you.

9. You can’t remember the last time you had pubic hair.

10. Before traveling somewhere, you look up couples in that area.

11. You worry about explaining to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags and don’t leave until Sunday afternoon.

12. Your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, and your first thought is”With who?”

13. Your gynecologist wonders why you’re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.

14. Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.

15. Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.

16. Your wife has a shirt that says: “I Like Girls Too.”

17. You have a stripper’s pole in the middle of your den.

18. You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join you for a foursome.

19. The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife’s thong.

20. You’ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.

21. You hear the word “Playmate” and your first thought is NOT “Playboy”

22. The word “slut” has become a term of endearment.

23. You remember to bring lube before you remember to bring lipstick.

24. Your choice in new carpeting is heavily based on which type won’t give you rug burns.

25. You’ve taken your Liberator with you to a dinner party."

OK we'll take the test.

1. Maybe not most but a good number.

2. As above. Not half but enough.

3. Oops.

4. No but the car can find Cap d'Agde on autopilot.

5. Yep.

6. Oh certainly.

7. Have we got 4 yes's yet?

8. We have now.

9. Remind me. What is pubic hair?

10. Not couples but we always look for clubs locally.

11. We never swing at home so that is one of the very few no's.

12. It's a big yes from here.

13. Safe sex only and at our age the snip is not an issue.

14. Not got one but would be true if we had.

15. Not added it up but probably yes.

16. No but I've got one that says "I'm not a Gynaecologist but I'll take a look"

17. We did have until she fell off it.

18. Never done that one as she is always commando at parties.

19. Yes in my golfing days that happened a few times.

20. More times than I can remember.

21. Yes LOL.

22. Another yes.

23. I remember the lube and she remembers the lipstick.

24. Tiles and laminate so not an issue.

25. No but the occasional dinner party we go to she usually fucks the host.

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By *ensual EroticismCouple
over a year ago

derby

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