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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback."  | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback." It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. " Yet.... 
Id take the comments as feedback and try to learn from them. You need to keep a lid on your psycho self if you want this new relationship to continue, he's waiting to see it for himself now he's been warned so will react to even mild psycho behaviour. | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. Yet....
Id take the comments as feedback and try to learn from them. You need to keep a lid on your psycho self if you want this new relationship to continue, he's waiting to see it for himself now he's been warned so will react to even mild psycho behaviour."Because of the connection I told new guy pretty much from the off that I'd slept with someone he worked with. I didn't tell him exactly who straight away out of respect, it's only recently I said exactly who it was cos new guy said it was bugging him not knowing which one it was, I've met new guy way more times and spent more time with him so loyalty (if you call it that) is with him more. I did however say in the beginning without naming names but I did say exactly how it went down with old guy, said exactly the things I said, how I kicked off, how he had to block me, every single detail I told new guy incase of a situation like this happening. I'd rather anything came from me first hand so he's prepared rather than someone spring it on him later by saying something like, oh that girl you're meeting she's a nutter, yada yada yada, he can just say yeah I know she told me. | |||
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" I liked that dude a lot and only kicked off once so he didn't even experience my full wrath. " I don't think being called a phsyco is a compliment. Sounds like like there's an element of truth to it. Maybe instead of trying to decide whether to feel insulted or complimented you ought to seek some anger management help | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do "My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore! | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do
My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore!"Yeah it does sound like that. Although to me that would ring alarm bells - personally I’m not keen on those that resort to putting others down. I know it’s been said before in this thread but maybe just be a little cautious? | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. " Also remember any feedback you receive is also often coloured by the projected bits of the person giving the feedback and, in the case of secondhand feedback, the biases of the person relaying the feedback. Ask yourself about what is the truth for you in it and then decide what to do. Really pleased the new fella you’re seeing is starting to bring out the best in you. It takes two to tango - I hope you enjoy this dance a lot more than the last. True beauty is much more than skin deep. Finding the beauty within is the real journey | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. " You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. | |||
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"New guy has said a few times about me still being hung up on old guy, he's told me a few colourful things about old guy since finding out who it is, the most recent thing is how he was apparently discussing me in a not so nice manner. " Isnt this playground stuff .. I wouldn't bother with either .. | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do
My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore!"How old is he? That's pretty immature behaviour if he is. | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do
My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore!
How old is he? That's pretty immature behaviour if he is."If it's true. We don't know what has prompted him to tell her anything. He may feel protective of her and isn't happy about the way the other man spoke about her. This is all conjecture and second guessing. I would stop dwelling on it and ask him to not mention him again. OP you overthink everything and screw your own head up. Enjoy your time with this man and see how it plays out. | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do
My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore!
How old is he? That's pretty immature behaviour if he is.
If it's true. We don't know what has prompted him to tell her anything. He may feel protective of her and isn't happy about the way the other man spoke about her. This is all conjecture and second guessing.
I would stop dwelling on it and ask him to not mention him again. OP you overthink everything and screw your own head up. Enjoy your time with this man and see how it plays out. "Yeah, that's why I said "if he is" .
It's way too much drama for me, I like things to be fairly straightforward and take what people say to me at face value. We're all different. | |||
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"I’m sure new guy seems like a saint compared to old guy, although to me as an outsider it does sound like new guy likes stirring the pot? Trash talking old guy and telling you mean things that have been said about you doesn’t sound like a nice thing to do
My friend reckons he's making sure I don't like the old guy anymore!
How old is he? That's pretty immature behaviour if he is.
If it's true. We don't know what has prompted him to tell her anything. He may feel protective of her and isn't happy about the way the other man spoke about her. This is all conjecture and second guessing.
I would stop dwelling on it and ask him to not mention him again. OP you overthink everything and screw your own head up. Enjoy your time with this man and see how it plays out.
Yeah, that's why I said "if he is" .
It's way too much drama for me, I like things to be fairly straightforward and take what people say to me at face value. We're all different."I wouldn't have told the new man about the old one. | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. Also remember any feedback you receive is also often coloured by the projected bits of the person giving the feedback and, in the case of secondhand feedback, the biases of the person relaying the feedback. Ask yourself about what is the truth for you in it and then decide what to do. Really pleased the new fella you’re seeing is starting to bring out the best in you. It takes two to tango - I hope you enjoy this dance a lot more than the last. True beauty is much more than skin deep. Finding the beauty within is the real journey "Aww beautifully put! | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives." I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. | |||
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"It’s neither a compliment or an insult, it’s feedback. It's true feedback too, he never would have thought that would get back to me. I always talk about things with my friends which is just what he was doing. The thing that puzzled me is the psycho reference was to the one kick off I did after the 2nd time we met, he met me another 5 times after that and I didn't kick off at all, but I did say I was starting to like him, that's what stopped him meeting again. Or it could not be, I probably paved the way with the earlier behaviour, he hung around for the easy sex then withdrew when he sensed drama. But new guy makes me feel different, makes me feel nice, I don't feel like I'm bothering him if I message him, new guy doesn't make me feel shit the next day, new guy doesn't make me feel like any crazy behaviour wants to spill out so i don't think I'm entirely to blame. I'm still the same person just the new guys doesn't bring out any of my bad traits. " Yeah, it sounded like a rage response to a 'narcissistic injury' to me - if the new guy is an empath he may naturally know how to act to reassure you. But beware, if he gets the hump one day, or suddenly gets whisked off to Azurbaijan before he has a chance to text you, the demons may well reappear! As a self-confessed and self-aware narc I wonder if you can learn some management strategies to help yourself? Have you ever had a look at some of Sam Vaknin's stuff on the net and on utube, he seems pretty in control, he may give you some insights lol! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mj_4JlE49To Good luck with the new man anyway! | |||
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"This one is fascinating too!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0fLckfvCac" The bit about not fishing for compliments but rather look for insults, that rings true! | |||
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"This one is fascinating too!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0fLckfvCac The bit about not fishing for compliments but rather look for insults, that rings true! " Yes, there were a couple of things in there that reminded me of things you've said in your posts - the 'seeking redemption' or restoration of reputation does too. | |||
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"The whole situation sounds like to much fucking effort to be worth it. I'd rather be celibate and alone than having to deal with all this sort of drama. Mr" Not an empath then lol......  | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. " Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts! | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts! "I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that.... | |||
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"The whole situation sounds like to much fucking effort to be worth it. I'd rather be celibate and alone than having to deal with all this sort of drama. Mr Not an empath then lol...... "What tipped you off
Maybe it's my age?
I don't know some people thrive on drama,we have a daughter that everything has to be a flipping drama,every time she goes out or goes to work it's drama.
I can't be dealing with it all. I think there is a generation below mine now that live their lives online for all to know ( not having a personal dig at op) society in general these days thrives on attention, drama. | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that.... "Yes well too much gets tiring for sure, but as I say - I like passion and intensity in a lover, and I understand that can work both ways. | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Yes well too much gets tiring for sure, but as I say - I like passion and intensity in a lover, and I understand that can work both ways."I see. So let's say on a second date with you, I started shouting at you that the clothes you were wearing were really inappropriate and that you were an embarrassment to me. Would I get a third date | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that.... "Hahaha. I'd assumed 'kicked off' meant some shitty text messages and a nasty phone call or two. Maybe the OP needs to clarify? | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Yes well too much gets tiring for sure, but as I say - I like passion and intensity in a lover, and I understand that can work both ways.
I see.
So let's say on a second date with you, I started shouting at you that the clothes you were wearing were really inappropriate and that you were an embarrassment to me.
Would I get a third date "Not a chance in hell lol! But if you just got a bit jealous and ranty 'cos I didn't warn you a new veri was going up, I might just be empathetic. 
I had a horse once, a very special horse with a huge spirit, perfect conformation, incredible charisma, but who was a troubled soul, quite dangerous to deal with. I spoke to people all over the country about him, then all over the net, and eventually I found someone that made sense of his behaviour. I flew to California to meet him, and attend a weekend clinic he was giving, then spend some time with good friends and proteges of his, staying on an apricot farm and playing with all their horses, sometimes two at a time.
I learned to see things from a different perspective, I learned how to connect with the spirit of the horse, I learned what triggers in ME my horse was reacting to, I learned how to be still inside, how to become his safe place - and in turn keep myself safe (he had been very dangerous up to that point). It transformed ME as a horseman, and so changed my life forever, for the good.
So, I am not put off by a bit of a challenge, on the contrary I find it causes personal growth, I'm an empath and I'm fascinated by psychology anyway - so I might just thrive where you do not
Other people just want a predictable horse they can get on and ride - and there's a lot to be said for them too! | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Hahaha. I'd assumed 'kicked off' meant some shitty text messages and a nasty phone call or two. Maybe the OP needs to clarify?"Yes, was some shitty messages from myself to the guy. Was after he'd messaged me saying it is what it is and that if I wanted someone to be exclusive to me I shouldn't be on a sex site with pictures of myself with my fanny out. Up until that point I'd told him and assumed he wanted the same as me. There's other factors involved but it was some shitty messages. | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Yes well too much gets tiring for sure, but as I say - I like passion and intensity in a lover, and I understand that can work both ways.
I see.
So let's say on a second date with you, I started shouting at you that the clothes you were wearing were really inappropriate and that you were an embarrassment to me.
Would I get a third date
Not a chance in hell lol! But if you just got a bit jealous and ranty 'cos I didn't warn you a new veri was going up, I might just be empathetic.
I had a horse once, a very special horse with a huge spirit, perfect conformation, incredible charisma, but who was a troubled soul, quite dangerous to deal with. I spoke to people all over the country about him, then all over the net, and eventually I found someone that made sense of his behaviour. I flew to California to meet him, and attend a weekend clinic he was giving, then spend some time with good friends and proteges of his, staying on an apricot farm and playing with all their horses, sometimes two at a time.
I learned to see things from a different perspective, I learned how to connect with the spirit of the horse, I learned what triggers in ME my horse was reacting to, I learned how to be still inside, how to become his safe place - and in turn keep myself safe (he had been very dangerous up to that point). It transformed ME as a horseman, and so changed my life forever, for the good.
So, I am not put off by a bit of a challenge, on the contrary I find it causes personal growth, I'm an empath and I'm fascinated by psychology anyway - so I might just thrive where you do not
Other people just want a predictable horse they can get on and ride - and there's a lot to be said for them too! "Bloody hell, all that for a horse! Not an animal lover here
One of the lessons I have learned from life is that, for me, being around people who induce stress and worry in me is very bad for my mental health. Hence for self preservation, when I can avoid such people, I do. They may be lovely to other people, but not to me.
I haven't got that long left on this earth and I ain't gonna hang around with people whose behaviour. I find stressful and upsetting. | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Hahaha. I'd assumed 'kicked off' meant some shitty text messages and a nasty phone call or two. Maybe the OP needs to clarify?
Yes, was some shitty messages from myself to the guy. Was after he'd messaged me saying it is what it is and that if I wanted someone to be exclusive to me I shouldn't be on a sex site with pictures of myself with my fanny out. Up until that point I'd told him and assumed he wanted the same as me. There's other factors involved but it was some shitty messages. "Sounds like a good job you're moving on. Watch the new one though, he sounds like a bit of s stirrer. Maybe he needs to find something more interesting to do with his mouth? I hope it works out and you can leave the beautiful ugly one behind. There's been some great, well informed advice in the thread. | |||
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"If someone I was meeting for a casual sex relationship "kicked off", the second time I met them, there wouldn't be a third time. Life s too short. Oh I quite like a man who displays a bit of passion an intensity about me - takes all sorts!
I was taking "kicked off" to mean shouting and screaming at you because of some perceived slight on your part. At my age, I can't be doing with drama like that....
Yes well too much gets tiring for sure, but as I say - I like passion and intensity in a lover, and I understand that can work both ways.
I see.
So let's say on a second date with you, I started shouting at you that the clothes you were wearing were really inappropriate and that you were an embarrassment to me.
Would I get a third date
Not a chance in hell lol! But if you just got a bit jealous and ranty 'cos I didn't warn you a new veri was going up, I might just be empathetic.
I had a horse once, a very special horse with a huge spirit, perfect conformation, incredible charisma, but who was a troubled soul, quite dangerous to deal with. I spoke to people all over the country about him, then all over the net, and eventually I found someone that made sense of his behaviour. I flew to California to meet him, and attend a weekend clinic he was giving, then spend some time with good friends and proteges of his, staying on an apricot farm and playing with all their horses, sometimes two at a time.
I learned to see things from a different perspective, I learned how to connect with the spirit of the horse, I learned what triggers in ME my horse was reacting to, I learned how to be still inside, how to become his safe place - and in turn keep myself safe (he had been very dangerous up to that point). It transformed ME as a horseman, and so changed my life forever, for the good.
So, I am not put off by a bit of a challenge, on the contrary I find it causes personal growth, I'm an empath and I'm fascinated by psychology anyway - so I might just thrive where you do not
Other people just want a predictable horse they can get on and ride - and there's a lot to be said for them too!
Bloody hell, all that for a horse! Not an animal lover here
One of the lessons I have learned from life is that, for me, being around people who induce stress and worry in me is very bad for my mental health. Hence for self preservation, when I can avoid such people, I do. They may be lovely to other people, but not to me.
I haven't got that long left on this earth and I ain't gonna hang around with people whose behaviour. I find stressful and upsetting. "My point was it wasn't just 'for the horse' - it ended up benefiting me far more. It's not a good parallel for human relationships I grant you, but it makes my point - there are upsides and downsides and trade-offs in all kinds of relationships, and learning opportunities in everything in life for those of us who are curious of mind. In psychological tests I choose 'the dark horse', I am not risk averse - though I have limits of course, everyone does. I am also primal - so emotional intensity is a big factor in what makes good sex for me, whereas for someone else a set of ropes and a flogger might be more what they are after. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. " I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending." You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. However for society to function there has to be a belief in some degree of personal responsibility. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending." But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. " Because those people fail to own that the feeling of being used (for instance) stems from how they feel about themselves, not how the other person treated them. We all react in certain ways to certain triggers, if those reactions are destructive or cause you pain in any way but you continue to get into situations where you know the reaction will be triggered...you're responsible. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. " Not so - a predisposition to certain types of behaviour may be created, maybe even an automatic emotional response to a certain type of trigger if we have damage in that area, but bottom line our responsibility for our responses and behaviour are our own alone. We all have the choice to be self-analytical and endeavour to understand and modify our own behavioural responses - to grow in other words! | |||
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"'an absolute psycho, had to block her on everything, and how she'd put him off using any dating apps' 'he didn't even experience my full wrath' If you can't begin to see for yourself then a forum thread is not going to help. " To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. Read everything above 2/3 times and take time to reflect  | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. However for society to function there has to be a belief in some degree of personal responsibility. " I agree that our behaviour is caused by genetic and environmental factors over which we have no control. What we do have control over (barring mental health issues) is recognising destructive behaviour and changing it. I love chocolate biscuits, I genuinely could eat a whole packet. I can choose to buy ten packets, eat them, put on weight and blame the shop for selling them. Or I can recognise that my control over my consumption of a chocolate digestive or twenty is limited and choose to buy them only occasionally. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. Because those people fail to own that the feeling of being used (for instance) stems from how they feel about themselves, not how the other person treated them. We all react in certain ways to certain triggers, if those reactions are destructive or cause you pain in any way but you continue to get into situations where you know the reaction will be triggered...you're responsible. " I agree to an extent. We don’t always recognise the game though as the behaviour is often unconscious. Becoming aware of unconscious patterns of behaviour, dealing with the repressed emotion of what causes those patterns, and healing ourselves so we become more response-able, is a significant journey of personal development. At the OPs age I’d only recently begun that journey into myself to undo my conditioning. I think the OP asks good questions on here, but I had a much safer place to do my inner exploration. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. Not so - a predisposition to certain types of behaviour may be created, maybe even an automatic emotional response to a certain type of trigger if we have damage in that area, but bottom line our responsibility for our responses and behaviour are our own alone. We all have the choice to be self-analytical and endeavour to understand and modify our own behavioural responses - to grow in other words!" The argument is based on the logical incompatibility of free will with the scientific world view. If you believe in cause and effect and that the same causes will always be based in the same effects, then despite what any human agent may think they could not have acted other than as they did. It's actually a very difficult argument to contradict. We might do or not do something because of certain brain events, but where do those brain events come from? From certain physical processes and there seems no good reason to think those processes involve "choice" any more than a cat killing a mouse involves choice on the cats part. Given its physical structure, a can cannot choose not to kill a mouse. It's a fascinating area, because although we all instinctively feel we could act differently in any given sitw, all the logical arguments are again free will. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. However for society to function there has to be a belief in some degree of personal responsibility. I agree that our behaviour is caused by genetic and environmental factors over which we have no control. What we do have control over (barring mental health issues) is recognising destructive behaviour and changing it. I love chocolate biscuits, I genuinely could eat a whole packet. I can choose to buy ten packets, eat them, put on weight and blame the shop for selling them. Or I can recognise that my control over my consumption of a chocolate digestive or twenty is limited and choose to buy them only occasionally. " See my point below. Whilst you definitely have a feeling of choice, it's very difficult to argue logically that you do have a choice in the sense that you could have acted other than you did. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. Because those people fail to own that the feeling of being used (for instance) stems from how they feel about themselves, not how the other person treated them. We all react in certain ways to certain triggers, if those reactions are destructive or cause you pain in any way but you continue to get into situations where you know the reaction will be triggered...you're responsible. I agree to an extent. We don’t always recognise the game though as the behaviour is often unconscious. Becoming aware of unconscious patterns of behaviour, dealing with the repressed emotion of what causes those patterns, and healing ourselves so we become more response-able, is a significant journey of personal development. At the OPs age I’d only recently begun that journey into myself to undo my conditioning. I think the OP asks good questions on here, but I had a much safer place to do my inner exploration." Yes, I agree. I think, I hope that the op reads all the input as intended to be helpful or at least thought provoking. I'm not as brave. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. Because those people fail to own that the feeling of being used (for instance) stems from how they feel about themselves, not how the other person treated them. We all react in certain ways to certain triggers, if those reactions are destructive or cause you pain in any way but you continue to get into situations where you know the reaction will be triggered...you're responsible. I agree to an extent. We don’t always recognise the game though as the behaviour is often unconscious. Becoming aware of unconscious patterns of behaviour, dealing with the repressed emotion of what causes those patterns, and healing ourselves so we become more response-able, is a significant journey of personal development. At the OPs age I’d only recently begun that journey into myself to undo my conditioning. I think the OP asks good questions on here, but I had a much safer place to do my inner exploration. Yes, I agree. I think, I hope that the op reads all the input as intended to be helpful or at least thought provoking. I'm not as brave." I wouldn’t recommend this forum as a place to do it, but this is where she is. If she can find the guidance she needs to make some developmental progress the good on her. Again it’s a process of sifting through the opinions and separating the wheat from the chaff. It’s just feedback, some more useful to her at this stage than others. | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. But going back to what you said, "Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out". If that is true why do we have 100's of people who claim they felt used or any other emotion they've felt due to another person. People wouldn't say that certain people bring out the worst in them. Because those people fail to own that the feeling of being used (for instance) stems from how they feel about themselves, not how the other person treated them. We all react in certain ways to certain triggers, if those reactions are destructive or cause you pain in any way but you continue to get into situations where you know the reaction will be triggered...you're responsible. I agree to an extent. We don’t always recognise the game though as the behaviour is often unconscious. Becoming aware of unconscious patterns of behaviour, dealing with the repressed emotion of what causes those patterns, and healing ourselves so we become more response-able, is a significant journey of personal development. At the OPs age I’d only recently begun that journey into myself to undo my conditioning. I think the OP asks good questions on here, but I had a much safer place to do my inner exploration. Yes, I agree. I think, I hope that the op reads all the input as intended to be helpful or at least thought provoking. I'm not as brave. I wouldn’t recommend this forum as a place to do it, but this is where she is. If she can find the guidance she needs to make some developmental progress the good on her. Again it’s a process of sifting through the opinions and separating the wheat from the chaff. It’s just feedback, some more useful to her at this stage than others." You mean like the comment below yours! | |||
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" You're the only person responsible for your behaviour. Nobody else makes you behave as you do or makes you feel like shit next day or that any crazy behaviour wants to spill out. You're recognising behaviours in yourself then putting the responsibilty for them largely on to other people. Do you feel the things he said are complimentary? In my opinion they're not, in fact if somebody said that about me I would seriously question my reactions and motives. I'm aware that I'm responsible for my own behaviour but I think the person I'm interacting with plays a part in how I behave. If I stub my toe I'm going to hop around and feel pain for a few moments, if I watch a funny programme I'm going to laugh and if I watch a sad film I'm going to cry. If one guy has sex with me then completely blanks me or makes no effort with me or ignores a message it makes me react in a certain way, if another guy is complimentary and initiates contact and doesn't make me feel like I'm bothering him if I decide to message or call him then that guy doesn't make me feel like reacting in a bad way. To say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour is stupid. Even serial killers have reasons why they do it and when you evaluate them you can see the triggers. Yes it ultimately is themselves that plunge a knife in someone's neck but there will be reasons and circumstances that brought them to that point. I don't think it's stupid to say a person is solely responsible for their behaviour. If the serial killer is aware of the reasons they kill but still kills the responsibility is solely theirs. Like the people who abuse their partners and claim the partners behaviour made them strike out or people who blame the credit card company for their over spending. You can make an argument for the impossibility of personal responsibility generally. Our behaviour is all caused by our genetic and environmental inheritance, neither which we have any control over. Not so - a predisposition to certain types of behaviour may be created, maybe even an automatic emotional response to a certain type of trigger if we have damage in that area, but bottom line our responsibility for our responses and behaviour are our own alone. We all have the choice to be self-analytical and endeavour to understand and modify our own behavioural responses - to grow in other words! The argument is based on the logical incompatibility of free will with the scientific world view. If you believe in cause and effect and that the same causes will always be based in the same effects, then despite what any human agent may think they could not have acted other than as they did. It's actually a very difficult argument to contradict. We might do or not do something because of certain brain events, but where do those brain events come from? From certain physical processes and there seems no good reason to think those processes involve "choice" any more than a cat killing a mouse involves choice on the cats part. Given its physical structure, a can cannot choose not to kill a mouse. It's a fascinating area, because although we all instinctively feel we could act differently in any given sitw, all the logical arguments are again free will. " And yet it is proven time and time again - people can and do change their responses and their behaviour proving it is within their power. It's quite Quantum - even the mere act of observing our own behaviour often changes it. Understanding can changes attitudes which give rise to different behaviour. Of course some 'weight of predisposition' may make it extremely hard to overcome, but we bear the responsibility and suffer the consequences so we might as well accept accountability. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZWf2_2L2v8 | |||
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"No need for new guy to say anything. If anything I'd say he was stirring the pot and using it as some form of control over you. If you can go 'psycho' on someone because things don't go the way you've planned maybe getting more involved with a person isn't the way to go." I didn't think I did go that bad but obviously it's up to the person my behaviour was aimed at to interpret it in a way that was acceptable or unacceptable to them. I was massively hurt by his comments, I liked him and wanted him to be more than just a fuck, up until after our second meet he had implied he was in it for more when he actually just wanted casual. After I apologised it all seemed ok and we met another 5 times then but the cage had been rattled. I did act in a way that seemed like drama, stress and hassle to someone. I could feel myself doing it and knew that it would put him off but couldn't help it, the more I felt him slipping away the more I tried to hang on to him and that's never a good place to be in. | |||
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"No need for new guy to say anything. If anything I'd say he was stirring the pot and using it as some form of control over you. If you can go 'psycho' on someone because things don't go the way you've planned maybe getting more involved with a person isn't the way to go. I didn't think I did go that bad but obviously it's up to the person my behaviour was aimed at to interpret it in a way that was acceptable or unacceptable to them. I was massively hurt by his comments, I liked him and wanted him to be more than just a fuck, up until after our second meet he had implied he was in it for more when he actually just wanted casual. After I apologised it all seemed ok and we met another 5 times then but the cage had been rattled. I did act in a way that seemed like drama, stress and hassle to someone. I could feel myself doing it and knew that it would put him off but couldn't help it, the more I felt him slipping away the more I tried to hang on to him and that's never a good place to be in. " bless you please don’t beat yourself up about it ,I learnt to wipe things from my mind ,I’ve lost many a beautiful lady in my time ,money and power but I still have my mind and respect from it .take care | |||
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"No need for new guy to say anything. If anything I'd say he was stirring the pot and using it as some form of control over you. If you can go 'psycho' on someone because things don't go the way you've planned maybe getting more involved with a person isn't the way to go. I didn't think I did go that bad but obviously it's up to the person my behaviour was aimed at to interpret it in a way that was acceptable or unacceptable to them. I was massively hurt by his comments, I liked him and wanted him to be more than just a fuck, up until after our second meet he had implied he was in it for more when he actually just wanted casual. After I apologised it all seemed ok and we met another 5 times then but the cage had been rattled. I did act in a way that seemed like drama, stress and hassle to someone. I could feel myself doing it and knew that it would put him off but couldn't help it, the more I felt him slipping away the more I tried to hang on to him and that's never a good place to be in. bless you please don’t beat yourself up about it ,I learnt to wipe things from my mind ,I’ve lost many a beautiful lady in my time ,money and power but I still have my mind and respect from it .take care " I never forget things, I have learned from it but you never get a second chance to make a good first impression! | |||
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"No need for new guy to say anything. If anything I'd say he was stirring the pot and using it as some form of control over you. If you can go 'psycho' on someone because things don't go the way you've planned maybe getting more involved with a person isn't the way to go. I didn't think I did go that bad but obviously it's up to the person my behaviour was aimed at to interpret it in a way that was acceptable or unacceptable to them. I was massively hurt by his comments, I liked him and wanted him to be more than just a fuck, up until after our second meet he had implied he was in it for more when he actually just wanted casual. After I apologised it all seemed ok and we met another 5 times then but the cage had been rattled. I did act in a way that seemed like drama, stress and hassle to someone. I could feel myself doing it and knew that it would put him off but couldn't help it, the more I felt him slipping away the more I tried to hang on to him and that's never a good place to be in. bless you please don’t beat yourself up about it ,I learnt to wipe things from my mind ,I’ve lost many a beautiful lady in my time ,money and power but I still have my mind and respect from it .take care I never forget things, I have learned from it but you never get a second chance to make a good first impression! " No but you'll get a chance to make a good first impression on someone else. | |||
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"No need for new guy to say anything. If anything I'd say he was stirring the pot and using it as some form of control over you. If you can go 'psycho' on someone because things don't go the way you've planned maybe getting more involved with a person isn't the way to go. I didn't think I did go that bad but obviously it's up to the person my behaviour was aimed at to interpret it in a way that was acceptable or unacceptable to them. I was massively hurt by his comments, I liked him and wanted him to be more than just a fuck, up until after our second meet he had implied he was in it for more when he actually just wanted casual. After I apologised it all seemed ok and we met another 5 times then but the cage had been rattled. I did act in a way that seemed like drama, stress and hassle to someone. I could feel myself doing it and knew that it would put him off but couldn't help it, the more I felt him slipping away the more I tried to hang on to him and that's never a good place to be in. bless you please don’t beat yourself up about it ,I learnt to wipe things from my mind ,I’ve lost many a beautiful lady in my time ,money and power but I still have my mind and respect from it .take care I never forget things, I have learned from it but you never get a second chance to make a good first impression! " there will be one right round the corner ,and drop the new guy in my opinion and start afresh . | |||
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"Sound's like you kicking off even just the once was enough for him. It would be for me as well,I can't take volatile people I like calm." . VOLATILE...WADDA YOU MEAN  | |||
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"Sound's like you kicking off even just the once was enough for him. It would be for me as well,I can't take volatile people I like calm.. VOLATILE...WADDA YOU MEAN "You know a bit aggy,a bit like I'll jump down your throat and rip your tongue out if you dare utter one more word,that kind of thing. | |||
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"Sound's like you kicking off even just the once was enough for him. It would be for me as well,I can't take volatile people I like calm.. VOLATILE...WADDA YOU MEAN
You know a bit aggy,a bit like I'll jump down your throat and rip your tongue out if you dare utter one more word,that kind of thing. ".. Ooh... Good job there's none of those types of people using the forums then  | |||
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"Sound's like you kicking off even just the once was enough for him. It would be for me as well,I can't take volatile people I like calm.. VOLATILE...WADDA YOU MEAN
You know a bit aggy,a bit like I'll jump down your throat and rip your tongue out if you dare utter one more word,that kind of thing. ..
Ooh... Good job there's none of those types of people using the forums then "Thankfully no. | |||
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"I don't know what the fuck is going on?. Are you that seawitch bird?" Yes, yes I am | |||
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"I don't know what the fuck is going on?. Are you that seawitch bird? Yes, yes I am ". It was just a guess | |||
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