FabSwingers.com forum: Can't have fun in a relationship?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I agree. Swinging as a single person is fun but a sexual relationship with someone I have genuine feelings for is much more intense and fulfilling. I'm more relaxed and open to experimenting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s one of the greatest things about our relationship.....I’m fucking hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

Being in a relationship IS fun, and also profoundly rewarding, enriching, satisfying and fulfilling. And, after many, many years together, fooling around with other people as well adds a little spice and further strengthens the bonds between you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

Yes I’m sure you’re right but I was aiming this at single men. Sorry should’ve been clearer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh, if they're not happy in a relationship then they shouldn't be in it

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

I agree sex is fantastic when you're in a relationship. You know each other's likes and "you've got to be kidding"s.

But sex outside of a relationship could be classed as escapism I think. A taste of something new and not experienced before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

It may be that if you're fresh out of a relationship you don't want to invest any "emotional capital" into a new one, but want the jollies?

Relationships are great while everything's going well but if they end badly it can take a while to be open to another one.

That's my feminine side done for the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite,I dont understand why people assume that only the people on fab or swingers in general only like the more quirky sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you're right

read my bio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

you're right

read my bio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree sex is fantastic when you're in a relationship. You know each other's likes and "you've got to be kidding"s.

But sex outside of a relationship could be classed as escapism I think. A taste of something new and not experienced before."

Yup I’ve had that lot many guys in relationship

Would like to try cock even just as a one off and they don’t want tell there partners?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m on here with my partner. It’s because we met online as singles here that we clicked sexually anyway. We are both very similar in our sexual likes and dislikes and we get on really well as a couple too. I would have to have someone on the same sexual level as me if I ever left this relationship. I now know what I do and don’t want

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

you're right

read my bio

" ... love and sex is one thing. it has been seperated by those in power in order to create division and fear."

In what way has it been 'separated by those in power' and how does it 'create division & fear'?

Genuinely interested your theory

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

It may be that if you're fresh out of a relationship you don't want to invest any "emotional capital" into a new one, but want the jollies?

Relationships are great while everything's going well but if they end badly it can take a while to be open to another one.

That's my feminine side done for the day

For me it’s a shame that investing in emotional capital is such a bad thing for some people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

Exactly

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I’m weird I loved being in a good fun relationship.

I split up with an ex a year or so ago to be fair I did meet a few people from here for no strings. But I missed the little things about being in a relationship.

And now I’m back having that fun with the added bonus of us both having that fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

It may be that if you're fresh out of a relationship you don't want to invest any "emotional capital" into a new one, but want the jollies?

Relationships are great while everything's going well but if they end badly it can take a while to be open to another one.

That's my feminine side done for the day

For me it’s a shame that investing in emotional capital is such a bad thing for some people"

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's natural to shy away from the possibility of more hurt if your heart's been recently broken; that may well be a self defeating strategy, but understandable anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

you're right

read my bio

I don’t believe that’s the case at all actually. For me personally I think that men separate feelings from Emotions more easily than women. Men can have satisfying sex and not even like the woman they’re with. But I think that’s more difficult for a woman

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

It may be that if you're fresh out of a relationship you don't want to invest any "emotional capital" into a new one, but want the jollies?

Relationships are great while everything's going well but if they end badly it can take a while to be open to another one.

That's my feminine side done for the day

For me it’s a shame that investing in emotional capital is such a bad thing for some people

Yes I understand that. I suppose it’s the fact that men can have enjoyable sex without being emotionally invested and in fact some men seem to prefer sex without being emotionally invested.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I take it to mean that they can have fun in the sense of being promiscuous rather than they feel relationship sex isn't as good.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Fun comes in different flavours. Wrong to assume that someone doesnt have fun in a relationship just because they have fun outside of 1. Needs are variable. Fun doesn't have to follow that same pattern.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have massive quantities of voluntary celibacy, been that way for years now. Wife works and therefore lives in a different country, was supposed to be a short term job. And I had commitments in the UK.

We used to swing as a couple, and I would be able to meet as a single, but I don't want to, it's not fun without her.

So for me at least it's only fun in a relationship.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

Yes I’m sure you’re right but I was aiming this at single men. Sorry should’ve been clearer"

And single woman of course. I've seen the "here to have fun" statement made by both sexes on Fab. You appear to be constantly gunning for the attached guys OP, cheating isn't restricted to any one sex.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Fun comes in different flavours. Wrong to assume that someone doesnt have fun in a relationship just because they have fun outside of 1. Needs are variable. Fun doesn't have to follow that same pattern."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes but relationships seem difficult to find due to the prevalence of the NSA lifestyle - they seem very last century to me! Not a criticism just an observation. Would certainly not be averse to trying a relationship again if the opportunity presented itself, especially if it led to better sex, which has been my experience in the past too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have massive quantities of voluntary celibacy, been that way for years now. Wife works and therefore lives in a different country, was supposed to be a short term job. And I had commitments in the UK.

We used to swing as a couple, and I would be able to meet as a single, but I don't want to, it's not fun without her.

So for me at least it's only fun in a relationship.

I knew I liked you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

Yes I’m sure you’re right but I was aiming this at single men. Sorry should’ve been clearer

Not sure how you work that out. And no I wasn’t aiming at single women.

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I choose not to be in a relationship as I value my freedom and independence and the ability to meet others without guilt, deceit or jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?

you're right

read my bio

I think it's more a personality thing rather than a gender thing.

~Mia

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that."

That is their situation and not representative of all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must be a man then lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that.

That is their situation and not representative of all."

And it's their situ I'm taking about. As per my op.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I always take it that they mean they are on fab to plug the gap between relationships with some no strings fun

I've never taken it to mean they are having fun while they can before the next relationship starts

For me, they're not swingers, they're the ones who think they're signing up to 'insta-shag'

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that.

That is their situation and not representative of all.

And it's their situ I'm taking about. As per my op."

I get that. And I don't think it's sad as per your original question. It's their choice. I look after me. You look after you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that.

That is their situation and not representative of all.

And it's their situ I'm taking about. As per my op.

I get that. And I don't think it's sad as per your original question. It's their choice. I look after me. You look after you."

Great. Good for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

I agree op xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always thought it was code for wanting to shag whomever, whenever as they weren’t getting the kind of naughty sex they wanted in a relationship, but they’ll dump the naughty nasty sex for the right person when they are “emotionally ready”.

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I take it to mean that they can have fun in the sense of being promiscuous rather than they feel relationship sex isn't as good."

That's how I see it too. They aren't saying they don't have fun in relationships; they are looking for some fun (sex) while they are not in a relationship and don't want anything serious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always thought it was code for wanting to shag whomever, whenever as they weren’t getting the kind of naughty sex they wanted in a relationship, but they’ll dump the naughty nasty sex for the right person when they are “emotionally ready”.

But i’m a cynical ratbag! "

I'm cynical too but I see it as they want the sex without the relationship. That is what swinging supposedly is. It doesn't necessarily mean that they want sex with anyone and everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

I'm cynical too but I see it as they want the sex without the relationship. That is what swinging supposedly is. It doesn't necessarily mean that they want sex with anyone and everyone. "

I just think that after being in a relationship where they would have been faithful (more than likely), they now have the equivalent of a sexual buffet, so want to fill up before going into another relationship.

But I dunno. We’re all here for different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag! "

Hey! I resemble that remark

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem. "

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

I'm cynical too but I see it as they want the sex without the relationship. That is what swinging supposedly is. It doesn't necessarily mean that they want sex with anyone and everyone.

But I dunno. We’re all here for different reasons."

Are the single women on here between relationships any different?

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By *heSexDemonMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I was in a great relationship with swinging involved. True, I was a tad jealous at the start.

She finished with me recently. Gutted about it. Hope I find someone in he future into it.

I'm having fun oh my own as a single guy. I think it helps having done it in a relationship

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

Exactly"
I suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I bet for most it's a figure of speach...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress "

I'm sure single women have as many destructive behaviours but I don't notice them not being guy. You could start your own thread about them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

I'm sure single women have as many destructive behaviours but I don't notice them not being guy. You could start your own thread about them."

Gay. Gay. Not guy.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that."

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

I'm sure single women have as many destructive behaviours but I don't notice them not being guy. You could start your own thread about them."
Wouldnt that be very difficult as has been previously stated we’re all emotionally inadequate and all we want off here is instashag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag! "

My man friend has told me he does this. 'Good girls' (the type he'll date) don't like sex. So he fucks the sexually adventurous women when he's single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress "

Lots of single women want to have fun between relationships, we'd suggest the majority of singles fit into that category on here. It's definitely not specifically a guy thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is about chemistry ...relationships can sometimes be liberating and sometimes restrictive ....its horses for courses i believe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed. "

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always take it that they mean they are on fab to plug the gap between relationships with some no strings fun

I've never taken it to mean they are having fun while they can before the next relationship starts

For me, they're not swingers, they're the ones who think they're signing up to 'insta-shag'"

I've been in a swinging relationship a while ago and a now here as a singley, and it's a very different vibe compared to being in a couple.

Unless you've got friends in the community it's bound to be a lot more isolated as a single chap than it is as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

I'm sure single women have as many destructive behaviours but I don't notice them not being guy. You could start your own thread about them.Wouldnt that be very difficult as has been previously stated we’re all emotionally inadequate and all we want off here is instashag"

Being emotionally inadequate stops you starting a thread? Oh OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

I'm cynical too but I see it as they want the sex without the relationship. That is what swinging supposedly is. It doesn't necessarily mean that they want sex with anyone and everyone.

But I dunno. We’re all here for different reasons.

Are the single women on here between relationships any different?"

My post wasn’t gender specific but i’m sure that what is good for the goose is good for the gander (so to speak).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?"

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

Being emotionally inadequate stops you starting a thread? Oh OK."
Just saying that while you’ve definitely raised some interesting points the fact that the thread apears gender specific means it comes across as another single men bashing thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

My man friend has told me he does this. 'Good girls' (the type he'll date) don't like sex. So he fucks the sexually adventurous women when he's single.

Isn't that the Madonna/whore complex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?"

By saying they want fun while they are single and before they get into another relationship pretty much spells it out that they're not having fun when they're in a relationship. I think my op was pretty clear. Several other posters understood what I was talking about. Hth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

My man friend has told me he does this. 'Good girls' (the type he'll date) don't like sex. So he fucks the sexually adventurous women when he's single.

Isn't that the Madonna/whore complex?"

Yes. I think you're right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

Being emotionally inadequate stops you starting a thread? Oh OK.Just saying that while you’ve definitely raised some interesting points the fact that the thread apears gender specific means it comes across as another single men bashing thread"

OK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

I'm cynical too but I see it as they want the sex without the relationship. That is what swinging supposedly is. It doesn't necessarily mean that they want sex with anyone and everyone.

But I dunno. We’re all here for different reasons.

Are the single women on here between relationships any different?"

No. I'm on here looking for fun because I don't want a relationship yet. When I do decide to have a relationship it will be very much a fun one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

My man friend has told me he does this. 'Good girls' (the type he'll date) don't like sex. So he fucks the sexually adventurous women when he's single.

Isn't that the Madonna/whore complex?

Yes. I think you're right."

I was seeing a man in between his relationships who said he couldn't have the kind of sex with a girlfriend that he had with me. So, he either had a sex only relationship with me, or a crap sex committed relationship with someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?

It's surprising that you cannot see that a desire to have fun when you're single does not mean you don't have even more fun in a relationship.

Your reading their words but putting your values and beliefs into the mix to draw a conclusion and then attempting to make that conclusion theirs.

Your wrong, in our opinion. If you're right, why would any single want a relationship?

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?

I think that's a big jump to a conclusion. They are saying they are here for some fun until they find a new relationship. One is not mutually exclusive to the other.

No relationship = on fab for NSA fun

In relationship = off fab as having fun with girlfriend so no need for fab

They are saying here here for fun between relationships. You're the one saying that means the relationship isn't fun

You can have fun being single & have different fun when you're not single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always took it to mean that they were just seeking to "sow their wild oats" while not in a relationship, rather than they can't have fun or enjoy being in a relationship.

In the context given in the OP would it not suggest that "fun" which I interpret as to be promiscuous would only happen whilst single? And presumably they'd be faithful whilst in a relationship?

For myself as a married woman, if I found myself to be single in future I wouldn't rush into another relationship for a number of reasons but I'd hope not to be celibate either, I struggle to see why this behaviour could be seen as negative.

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i’m a cynical ratbag!

My man friend has told me he does this. 'Good girls' (the type he'll date) don't like sex. So he fucks the sexually adventurous women when he's single.

Isn't that the Madonna/whore complex?

Yes. I think you're right.

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?

It's surprising that you cannot see that a desire to have fun when you're single does not mean you don't have even more fun in a relationship.

Your reading their words but putting your values and beliefs into the mix to draw a conclusion and then attempting to make that conclusion theirs.

Your wrong, in our opinion. If you're right, why would any single want a relationship?"

I think a lot of men would prefer not to if they were happy in their own company the rest of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always took it to mean that they were just seeking to "sow their wild oats" while not in a relationship, rather than they can't have fun or enjoy being in a relationship.

In the context given in the OP would it not suggest that "fun" which I interpret as to be promiscuous would only happen whilst single? And presumably they'd be faithful whilst in a relationship?

Ginger "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed.

How do you know That's not what they're saying?

Because they haven't said sex inside a relationship is rubbish, neither of us has ever seen that written on a profile.

How do you know that's what they are saying? Nothing in your Op demonstrates that is what they mean?

I think that's a big jump to a conclusion. They are saying they are here for some fun until they find a new relationship. One is not mutually exclusive to the other.

No relationship = on fab for NSA fun

In relationship = off fab as having fun with girlfriend so no need for fab

They are saying here here for fun between relationships. You're the one saying that means the relationship isn't fun

You can have fun being single & have different fun when you're not single"

You've put it better than we did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They are saying here here for fun between relationships. You're the one saying that means the relationship isn't fun

And that's your interpretation. Mine is different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meh, if they're not happy in a relationship then they shouldn't be in it"

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good point in op here. Relationships should surely be about complementing each others life. If this community is part of that relationship it surely adds to the fun.

I suppose it highlights the difference between the transient members of fab and those committed to the lifestyle.

Fun is an euphemism for sex but is surely about more than sex?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I always take it that they mean they are on fab to plug the gap between relationships with some no strings fun

I've never taken it to mean they are having fun while they can before the next relationship starts

For me, they're not swingers, they're the ones who think they're signing up to 'insta-shag'"

I think you're being too harsh on them there. I have met a few guys who were here 'for fun in between relationships' and not really into the idea of swinging. They were lovely, genuine guys and I would say the same to be honest - it's only because I could not find the kind of relationship I want that I decided not to go without sex meanwhile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

No it doesn’t. You’re simply misinterpreting the OP.

Elpis, you’re right, it is much easier for men to have sex without feeling the need for emotional investment. A result of millenia of selection.

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

I don't do relationships, can't be doing with all the shit that comes with them... I like to have fun and it's never been better confined to a relationship...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on here for fun with likeminded, why else would a single be on Fabswingers? It's not Facebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

No it doesn’t. You’re simply misinterpreting the OP.

Elpis, you’re right, it is much easier for men to have sex without feeling the need for emotional investment. A result of millenia of selection.

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding."

Thank you for that. That pretty much sums what I've thought since being on fab. Shame. For me, that is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding.

Lots of women 'don't do relationships'. Sex or fun is good enough for most people until the right relationship comes along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

No it doesn’t. You’re simply misinterpreting the OP.

Elpis, you’re right, it is much easier for men to have sex without feeling the need for emotional investment. A result of millenia of selection.

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding.

Thank you for that. That pretty much sums what I've thought since being on fab. Shame. For me, that is. "

But, in fairness to Fab and all of us great pervs on it, this is a swingers’ site not a dating one. So, although there are some on here looking for more than just sex, they’ll be in the minority.

Wouldn’t want to lose you though. You are one of the hottest on here - even if you aren’t swinging! (Still mourning the withdrawal of your lingerie pic

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know what you mean OP ..

Those men that are looking for a bit of fun before they are ready to settle down again.. i always thought it was an odd thing to say

ExactlyI suppose this thread breaks reasonable convention as it doesn’t focus on single men’s inadequate behaviour but our emotional inadequacies maybe that’s some little progress

No it doesn’t. You’re simply misinterpreting the OP.

Elpis, you’re right, it is much easier for men to have sex without feeling the need for emotional investment. A result of millenia of selection.

The trouble is, this then leads to the situ you describe. For some men, sex is all the relationship they need and thus they see emotionally involved relationships as perhaps unnecessarily demanding.

Thank you for that. That pretty much sums what I've thought since being on fab. Shame. For me, that is.

But, in fairness to Fab and all of us great pervs on it, this is a swingers’ site not a dating one. So, although there are some on here looking for more than just sex, they’ll be in the minority.

Wouldn’t want to lose you though. You are one of the hottest on here - even if you aren’t swinging! (Still mourning the withdrawal of your lingerie pic

That's very nice of you. Thank you.

I should've explained more.It's a shame for me because I don't think this situation is limited to fab. I think the vast majority of men are the same. I don't want a relationship with a man from fab anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm a bit harsh on men. The stats don’t support your view. Most men aspire to and become involved in marriage or long-term relationships. But they’re probably not as good at it, and don’t work as hard at it, as women do.

That’s a sweeping generalisation which I'll get trolled for, so,I’ll stop right now!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That’s a sweeping generalisation which I'll get trolled for, so,I’ll stop right now!"

Yes. But only my opinion. And I also think you're right about how good men are at relationships. I hadn't thought of it in that way before.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But they’re probably not as good at it, and don’t work as hard at it, as women do.

Sorry to post again about this, but thats such an epiphany for me. I feel liberated. Thank you so much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But they’re probably not as good at it, and don’t work as hard at it, as women do. "

There's no evidence to support that generalisation. I dont believe there's much difference between the sexes at keeping a relationship going, it takes two to tango.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But they’re probably not as good at it, and don’t work as hard at it, as women do.

There's no evidence to support that generalisation. I dont believe there's much difference between the sexes at keeping a relationship going, it takes two to tango."

Where's your evidence to the contrary?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

But they’re probably not as good at it, and don’t work as hard at it, as women do.

There's no evidence to support that generalisation. I dont believe there's much difference between the sexes at keeping a relationship going, it takes two to tango."

I agree, I just think their strengths and weaknesses are different. What some men are willing to do for their relationships and families is phenomenal, no one should doubt that, and yet I do believe that women find communication and empathy easier on the whole. The two should compliment each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've seen a few guys say they're here to have fun in between being in a relationship.

I've always had the best sex when I've had a boyfriend. Sex without the history, care and knowing we're committed to one other, is so rubbish in comparison for me.

Don't you think it's sad that being in a relationship isn't fun for some people?"

my wife and I have an open but discreet arrangement allowing each other to have 'other' friends but separately - whether they are sexual or not. She has one older male friend she's been seeing about 14 years, sadly i haven't got one at present

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This.

Just because people have a bit of fun outside of a relationship doesnt mean they don't have amazing enjoyment and fulfilment inside one.

If you can't have a bit of fun in your life without ticking a load of commitment boxes, there's a problem.

I agree with the first part of that, and I'm disappointed that some men,as I've said, don't seem believe that.

You may think the first part of our reply agrees with your Op. We don't.

You seem to be suggesting these guys stating they want fun between relationships means they think it's better than relationship sex. That's not what they're saying.

You're conclusion is flawed. "

Flawed for sure

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

I've know Men/Women who have been with their partners for years or having come out of a relationship go into another within days/weeks and still go out on a weekend looking for something extra,

Some people just don't like being on their own so will hook up with someone while looking for their ideal partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not me that says someone doesn’t have fun in a relationship it’s the single men profiles i’ve seen that have said that."

I've seen a few female profiles claiming that they " need more" and that "the husband is boring", and " no he doesn't know I'm here, so keep you're opinion to yourself", etc etc, I don't look at men's profiles so I wouldn't know about men

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