FabSwingers.com forum: Miscarriage

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Today Im in a strange mood. 5 yrs ago today I miscarried a pregnancy during a time of a lot of personal stress and chaos in my life.

As it happened during a really chaotic time Im not sure I ever really grieved.

Maybe its cos Im single now or maybe an age thing it seems to be on my mind more now than it was then.

Strange how the mind works at times eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can relate! Big hugs OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks ladies.

Im not even sure how I feel. Numb? Not quite. Sad? Maybe. Heavy hearted... definitely.

Ach it will pass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs, it’s strange how we deal with these things. I had an ectopic pregnancy and nearly died, I didn’t grieve very well after it as I had 3 young children to look after. Now at times I often think of what he/she would have been like. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks Hine x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks ladies.

Im not even sure how I feel. Numb? Not quite. Sad? Maybe. Heavy hearted... definitely.

Ach it will pass"

Big hug to you dear. That feeling will always be there. It's just how to deal with it. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs. Allow urself to grieve. Have a friend who had 2 miscarriages and she planted a rose bush for each child. Ive seen some beautiful angel trinkets that symbolise a lost baby online. Its ok to grieve. Hope u feel better xx

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Thanks ladies.

Im not even sure how I feel. Numb? Not quite. Sad? Maybe. Heavy hearted... definitely.

Ach it will pass"

Have sent you a PM x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had 9 miscarriages before being told I have an inhospitable womb and another 4 since. It's heartbreaking. Grief isn't straightforward tho, sometimes it happens straight away, sometimes months, or years later.

I don't think it's something you ever truly get over but you can be at peace with it.

I light candles to remember them sometimes and plan to have a tattoo to symbolise that they lived, albeit for a short time.

Some days will be tougher, allow yourself those days!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think that part of me finds it strange that Im feeling like this 5 yrs on. It wasnt planned and I didnt know I was pregnant at the time.

What triggered it was my long term partner cheating and ending our relationship so at the time I had lost my life partner my home my pets and almost my sanity.

I havent got kids and didnt really want them. So why now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took me years to grieve for mine. She'd be 17 now.

I was told I couldn't have kids so all I ever got told was "at least you know you can get pregnant now"

It's funny how it affects you. Sometimes not at all and then it seems to knock the breath out of you.

Sending a big hug to all you ladies. Not much help I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Big hugs, it’s strange how we deal with these things. I had an ectopic pregnancy and nearly died, I didn’t grieve very well after it as I had 3 young children to look after. Now at times I often think of what he/she would have been like. X "

My first wife did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that part of me finds it strange that Im feeling like this 5 yrs on. It wasnt planned and I didnt know I was pregnant at the time.

What triggered it was my long term partner cheating and ending our relationship so at the time I had lost my life partner my home my pets and almost my sanity.

I havent got kids and didnt really want them. So why now..."

It's normal, things can trigger feelings, doesn't always make perfect sense.

I haven't got kids and don't want them now either, doesn't stop me being sad about those I've lost. It's never a nice thing to go through.

Try to not try to figure it out (I think that's in English) and just feel what you need to. Keep keeping on and it won't last forever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Took me years to grieve for mine. She'd be 17 now.

I was told I couldn't have kids so all I ever got told was "at least you know you can get pregnant now"

It's funny how it affects you. Sometimes not at all and then it seems to knock the breath out of you.

Sending a big hug to all you ladies. Not much help I know. "

Sending a big huggle right back atcha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex wife gave birth to our son who was still born. I understand that it's worse for the woman but still fucking hurts me to this day. So feel you're pain op. Don't know whether I'm allowed to say that. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how you feel. I announced my first pregnancy in Feb last year - on my wedding day. I also miscarried in Feb last year - on my wedding day. I grieved as much as I could, had two miscarriages since then and they didn’t fuck me up as much as that one.

At a wedding at the moment and just met the bride’s baby - who is the age that my baby would have been. It’s an odd feeling.

Thinking of you OP xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will never leave you but it will get easier as time passes. I lost twins 22yrs ago following IVF, the only chance of me ever having children and I still have wobbly days.

Sending hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for sharing ur stories and thoughts....hugs to all those hurting - male and female xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first wife did"

I’m so sorry, I was lucky I had a very persistent husband at the time. But I did get sent home at one point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex wife gave birth to our son who was still born. I understand that it's worse for the woman but still fucking hurts me to this day. So feel you're pain op. Don't know whether I'm allowed to say that. Xx"

It was your loss too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was your loss too xx"

Yeh it was but had to be strong for her and family so I didn't get chance to grieve so I understand what you're going through if I may say that? Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was your loss too xx

Yeh it was but had to be strong for her and family so I didn't get chance to grieve so I understand what you're going through if I may say that? Xxxx"

Of course x

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By *reemindCoolMan
over a year ago

between Barnsley and Wakefield

you are greving

sorry for your pain and loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes think I must be dead inside. I miscarried....I can't remember exactly when and I've never really dwelled on it. Yes I was sad at the time, but can't say it's deeply impacted me. Am I that heartless? Is there something wrong with me? I often wonder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes think I must be dead inside. I miscarried....I can't remember exactly when and I've never really dwelled on it. Yes I was sad at the time, but can't say it's deeply impacted me. Am I that heartless? Is there something wrong with me? I often wonder. "

Everyone's different. Nothing wrong with you at all. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, you're not. We all deal with things differently!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I didn’t feel the sad after my first miscarriage. Just was the way I dealt with it. X

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By *ollymollWoman
over a year ago

Stockport

My deepest sympathies to all who have experienced this.

Its the saddest thing ever to have happened to me, I think about and miss my baby all the time. More so now than when it happened.

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By *elma and ShaggyCouple
over a year ago

Bedworth

"Today Im in a strange mood. 5 yrs ago today I miscarried a pregnancy during a time of a lot of personal stress and chaos in my life.

As it happened during a really chaotic time Im not sure I ever really grieved.

Maybe its cos Im single now or maybe an age thing it seems to be on my mind more now than it was then.

Strange how the mind works at times eh?"

Miscarriage can be one of the hardest things to go through. It’s something that around 1 in four women will experience but is rarely spoken about. Despite the fact that talking about things can help the healing process.

Grieving is a long process and things will suddenly hit us right out of the blue when we least expect it, often many years later. For me, one of the worst triggers was what should have been my baby’s first day of school. Mothering Sunday is a day I dread every year. I tend to hide myself away. I avoid social media and rarely even leave the house.

After suffering multiple miscarriages I went through a very very bad period. I suffered deeply with depression and anxiety, was later diagnosed with ptsd. Ultimately, the yearning for a baby and the continuous trying and miscarrying lead to the break down of my first marriage.

Time and love can be wonderful healers. My beloved first baby Junior would have been due to become a teenager on 26th March. It’s only really in the last 4 years or so, since I met Shaggy, that I have truely come to find some peace within myself. With his love and support I have learned to accept that what has happened to me is not my fault. I have learned to seen myself as others do, as a strong woman who has come through unimaginable pain time and time again. I have also come to terms with the fact that I will never have children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had what they call a missed miscarriage, where your body still acts as though you are pregnant but you aren't.. i lost it at 20 weeks but didnt show any sign of losing it until 4 weeks later...

3 months later i was pregnant again, with my son and the following year the peri menopause started... so i know how lucky i am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sending massive hugs xx given angel wings ...xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had what they call a missed miscarriage, where your body still acts as though you are pregnant but you aren't.. i lost it at 20 weeks but didnt show any sign of losing it until 4 weeks later...

3 months later i was pregnant again, with my son and the following year the peri menopause started... so i know how lucky i am

I had that with my first miscarriage. I bled throughout my whole wedding day (which was a Saturday) but when I got home on Sunday it had stopped. Took four tests which said I was still pregnant. Was still getting the all day ‘morning’ sickness and still couldn’t eat. Doctor told me that if the test said I was pregnant, then I was! In my gut I knew something was wrong but my next scan wasn’t for another 6 weeks, so I paid £90 for a private one and found out I miscarried three weeks previous (my wedding day). Had to have surgery (basically an abortion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had 2 miscarriages. The first would of been 22 this year it still hurts. The second was a twin. Went for the 12 week scan to be told it was twins and in the next breath told I’d lost one. There was that moment of elation followed by utter devastation. I still grieve their birthday is always bitter sweet. Went on to have another set of twins the following year and all 3 have the same birthday. I’m having a tattoo to remember them. Love to all that have suffered and are still suffering xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had 2 miscarriages. The first would of been 22 this year it still hurts. The second was a twin. Went for the 12 week scan to be told it was twins and in the next breath told I’d lost one. There was that moment of elation followed by utter devastation. I still grieve their birthday is always bitter sweet. Went on to have another set of twins the following year and all 3 have the same birthday. I’m having a tattoo to remember them. Love to all that have suffered and are still suffering xx"

Good bless. Xxxxx

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

I don't remember the date of mine either i can give you all the details of the day.

When I wanted to know the date I would ask my then partner but I would always forget again and I liked it that way.

I think the weirdest thing was being told yeah there is nothing in your womb then just getting shoved out the door into the corridor it was like well now what. He broke down there with people just walking up and down, I broke down in the car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today Im in a strange mood. 5 yrs ago today I miscarried a pregnancy during a time of a lot of personal stress and chaos in my life.

As it happened during a really chaotic time Im not sure I ever really grieved.

Maybe its cos Im single now or maybe an age thing it seems to be on my mind more now than it was then.

Strange how the mind works at times eh?"

I have lost 2 babies (and not been blessed with anymore) and whilst most of the time I am "at peace" with what happened there are times it grabs me by the throat and tries to str@ngle me so I 100% understand what you are saying, and why...

It will pass but it will never, ever leave you

Feel free to pm if you need a rant/chat x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course you are... It was your son too xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Woken today feeling less burdened. Thanks for all those who shared and pm'd.

Hugs for those hurting xxx

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