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ladies who orgasm white goo

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"

I actually spit my drink everywhere

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they need a visit to their GP. I think it’s know as grool in the porn world. (VOM)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

"

Actually squirt it? I've seen some women (me included on occasion) produce a creamy/white substance while fucking but never squirt it out.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear."

What, like caustic soda

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"

so you're on the fanny cream too?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it any good for coffee?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Princess Peach - Fanjo, love it. Not heard that one before

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

"

We shove a little milk carton up our chuff

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear."

Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there? "

Oooooo, rice pudding

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thats one of the very few times I've chocked on my drink while reading something x"

My tea is on the floor as a result of this unique read

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there?

Oooooo, rice pudding "

Creamy custard. I want someone to eat custard from me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Or fanny snot"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

It’s probably ‘cock snot up the chuff pipe ‘ being spurted out ......

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there? "

Jesus man pass me a bucket

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abmummy27Woman
over a year ago

up north

"Slowly pushes dinner plate to the side" not so hungry anymore she says

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

I believe it is medically know as

'I can't believe it's not batter'.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel even iller now. Yuk.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The comments here have made my day. So funny

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

What, like caustic soda "

Rinse thoroughly with water if it comes into contact with the eyes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *tuntmuffinMan
over a year ago

BIRMINGHAM

I've dropped my phone, porridge is everywhere... but I'm laughing so much as thread is so funny.x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Did you notice any feathers?

Could been a thrush.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Fuck a duck, laughing so hard that the whole office is staring...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *illianMan
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Any foil? Cream egg inners?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best thread ever. Sides are hurting

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my face is disgusted

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you eat Yours?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Frikken hilarious!!!! Saddened that I have nothing to add...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

Actually squirt it? I've seen some women (me included on occasion) produce a creamy/white substance while fucking but never squirt it out. "

Not quite like Nestle Tip Top but close.

Try holding your breath when you pop and see if it flings out

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?

Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like white grease, good for lubrication and water proof too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ristol HellfireMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Oooooo, rice pudding "

No, it was capable of independent motion and attempted to get back inside.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Did you notice any feathers?

Could been a thrush. "

Just laughed so hard I scared my dog

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about carnation milk?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"I believe it is medically know as

'I can't believe it's not batter'. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Did you notice any feathers?

Could been a thrush.

Just laughed so hard I scared my dog "

*takes a bow*

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..

Suddenly came to mind..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis

Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush

Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis

With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea

With blisters or sores genital herpes

Frothy...Oh my.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *abmummy27Woman
over a year ago

up north

Its rectoplasm came from her ass really Who you gonna call "ghost busters"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter


"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis

Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush

Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis

With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea

With blisters or sores genital herpes

Frothy...Oh my.

"

STOP! Please! Reading this is like chewing tinfoil

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I watched an episode of 1000 ways to die, the woman died from fucking herself with an unwashed carrot. Got a little scratch inside that got infected.

The episode was called "kildo"

(Like dildo)

I wonder if her gasm-goo was orange.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

lol

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

I've not laughed so much since the lumpy spunk thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

another one who spat my coffee out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a very nice thread this really is it ha

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought it was ladies turned on juice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I thought it was ladies turned on juice?

"

Very probably, however if it is too whiffy to sniffy, he needs to take his cock to the doc.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle. "

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang."

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe it's not butter.

It's called cervical mucus.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "

This, most likely

I have to pop outside for a minute, I need to throw up

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you make pancakes with it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation."

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be room in my shag bag for some rubber gloves, safety glasses, swabs and specimen jars.

Next time I come across it I'll take a sample and get them analysed. It might kill the moment though!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

Oh dear, that made me laugh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Oh dear, that made me laugh "

I laughed too. He was a complete cunt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too? "

Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lack cock hottieCouple
over a year ago

Kingston


"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "

Ohhhhhhhhhh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis

Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush

Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis

With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea

With blisters or sores genital herpes

Frothy...Oh my.

STOP! Please! Reading this is like chewing tinfoil"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Anyone for a cream cake?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Anyone for a cream cake?"

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lack cock hottieCouple
over a year ago

Kingston


"Did you hear any cracking sound? You may have just broken the crust on one of her vaginal cysts. I wouldn't worry about it. "

Ohhhhhhhhhh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Anyone for a cream cake?

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too."

Jam and cream split

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Anyone for a cream cake?

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.

Jam and cream split "

Get my tongue right up there

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Anyone for a cream cake?

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.

Jam and cream split

Get my tongue right up there"

What if it's curdled?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too?

Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin. "

What the plug, the sock or the ex???

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensual-dominant-passionMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I saw something similar... I was about to go down on a women and always do the light finger test first and it was like cream from a milk bottle top... I at that moment was in shock!!! She messaged me the neXT day and said why didn't you go down on me.. something seemed to have put you off..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so enlightening I thought women’s orgasms were just some fakery for porn movies and shit. I’ve never met a woman who could, never mind squirting goo

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Anyone for a cream cake?

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.

Jam and cream split

Get my tongue right up there

What if it's curdled? "

Then... I shall not get my tongue right up there. I'm not a dairy fan at the best of times.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Anyone for a cream cake?

I'm tempted by the rice pudding to be fair, might slap a blob of strawberry jam on too.

Jam and cream split

Get my tongue right up there

What if it's curdled?

Then... I shall not get my tongue right up there. I'm not a dairy fan at the best of times. "

Sloppy scrambled egg

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange "

I want a cutie pie cunt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *morousMan
over a year ago

Somewhere near you


"I saw something similar... I was about to go down on a women and always do the light finger test first and it was like cream from a milk bottle top... I at that moment was in shock!!! She messaged me the neXT day and said why didn't you go down on me.. something seemed to have put you off.. "

Never heard of that before Dean - light finger test..... I’ve heard of the scratch and sniff or the linger finger tests. I’ll have to give it a go!

Did you tell her she had a fandango like a Devon dairy??? Full of clotted cream!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"This was aimed more at a cutie pie cunt that jizzed creamy juice at the critical moment not some tired out coochie that's got the mange "

You gotta admit it's been fun tho.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

This has to be one of the best threads ever. I've got tears rolling down my face

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance"

How much usuage equates to a clapped out coochie?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?

Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *s_bettyboopWoman
over a year ago

-3

Cutie Pie Cunt..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I nearly said clapped out coochie but that's insensitive in this instance

How much usuage equates to a clapped out coochie? "

I'd say when Balfour Beatty send three vans around with the clean up crew its on its last knockings..

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I felt sick reading this but I just couldn't turn away. Hilarious.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Smells fishy bacterial vaginosis

Thick and white, like cottage cheese thrush

Green, yellow or frothy trichomoniasis

With pelvic pain or bleeding chlamydia or gonorrhoea

With blisters or sores genital herpes

Frothy...Oh my.

"

Frothy... it's a latte

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk


"The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..

Suddenly came to mind.. "

That’d be Cresta

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha op...some thick and white, some squirting and clear

Either way it's good, but hey, I'm only here to film these days,

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

Queasy isn’t the word...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve got to say.... I think I know her

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

******CURRENTLY BEST THREAD OF 2018******

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Did he have the bathmat stuck to his sock too?

Nah, I ain't posh enough for a bathmat. Just end up covered in hair dye and good for the bin.

What the plug, the sock or the ex??? "

I've just got concerned. I may get a ban for airing dirty laundry

That sock was pretty gross.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It all makes sense now ...

Cream Pie isn't man made

It's straight outta the lady garden

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream .

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I already had sore ribs... Now they're agony

Funniest thing I've read in ages

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere


"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy"

Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on

It tho

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"The advert where the bear? Says 'its frothy man'..

Suddenly came to mind..

That’d be Cresta"

that's it..

i may be odd but parts of the thread whilst funny are also somewhat mm mm..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of the funniest threads I have come across lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*throws in a grenade*

It can also be a symptom of HIV

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably just the time of month or a little attack of BV or thrush.

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

I've just made some scones...

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.

If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.

Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.

My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.

I hope that is some help to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every day is a schoolday...some better than others....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Velcrosis... that’s brilliant

I wouldn’t want that sorting... Velcro is almost as fun as bubble wrap. Is there a condition like bubble wrap??

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy"

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By *abmummy27Woman
over a year ago

up north


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

bork haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?

Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away"

You scramble eggs in your fanny? I'm impressed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinda puts you of fannys don't it

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I think it might be egg juice, you know like when you scramble eggs and it sometimes has that juice?

Overcooked and ruined, but you still slap it on the toast and munch away

You scramble eggs in your fanny? I'm impressed. "

Omelette?

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By *tuntmuffinMan
over a year ago

BIRMINGHAM


"Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream . "

I wouldn't mind giving it a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is white goo the new squirting, are we all going to be pumped until we magic out double cream .

I wouldn't mind giving it a go "

Not keen on the idea of clotted cream but quite like the sound Creme ‘fresh’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white!

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white! "

Like a merengue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh god you lot make me laugh - white or clear discharge is normal -- when its whiffy or lumpy or yellow or green then you need to run for the hills - producing enough to squirt white isnt the norm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white!

Like a merengue? "

Nah like you just cracked an egg open, the clear jelly.. Cervical mucus.. Clear snotty slug!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"*throws in a grenade*

It can also be a symptom of HIV "

Could be bad aids

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.

If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.

Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.

My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.

I hope that is some help to you. "

Can I take my mate up the local jet wash

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Was it Mary Berry? Did she have soft peaks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.

If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.

Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.

My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.

I hope that is some help to you.

Can I take my mate up the local jet wash"

Isn't that what caused the problem in the first place?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.

If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.

Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.

My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.

I hope that is some help to you.

Can I take my mate up the local jet wash

Isn't that what caused the problem in the first place?"

Those dirty fuckers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From what I've read some women have vagina grool, due to their cycle. It becomes pretty much white at some point and is more clear at other points.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle. "

This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.

They're interesting wee creatures fannies....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy

Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on

It tho "

And the chopped nuts lol

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By *airyfatmanMan
over a year ago

by 'ere


"I reckon if you pull her legs she'll make a Mr whippy

Don’t forget the flake and strawberry sauce on

It tho

And the chopped nuts lol"

Ooooo yeah, can’t beat the nuts - although chopped sounds painful

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

I’m sure something similar has been in a sci-fi movie or tv show .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.

They're interesting wee creatures fannies...."

so thats where the haggis hid itself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.

They're interesting wee creatures fannies....

so thats where the haggis hid itself"

You are so overdue a kick in the stones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

This. Mr took a wee private pic the other week and I had a "dafuq is that comin' oot my fanny? " moment. Then remembered that I was ovulating.

They're interesting wee creatures fannies....

so thats where the haggis hid itself

You are so overdue a kick in the stones."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From what I've read some women have vagina grool, due to their cycle. It becomes pretty much white at some point and is more clear at other points. "

Well done, that is correct. It’s pretty normal

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Look it's simple.

The last bloke she shagged used to be the Milky Bar Kid back in the 70's. Now the Milky Bar froth is on you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or playing with as Stewie Griffin calls it 'Cool hwhip'. This thread is like a Train crash, fucking awful but you can't look away.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Oh no, it’s still going...

And I looked again.......

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Best thread ever. I salute u pal

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester


"Hi OP. I just spoke to a mate of mine who moved into a house which was once owned by a gynaecologist, so he knows a bit about these issues.

If your lady friend's chuff smelt all fabric softenery, she's probably fine. However, if you recall any acrid cardamom smell accompanying her googasm, she should probably get checked for Flapstenchiosis, which is easy to treat and not that uncommon.

Flapstenchiosis is often accompanied with severe dryness. So if you remember a loud ripping sound when you first parted her unlubricated lips, then she is probably suffering from Velcrosis.

My mate reckons this requires medical treatment, but if she can't get an appointment, a blast of the area with a Karcher every other day should hopefully keep her sorted until she gets seen.

I hope that is some help to you. "
u win X I'm cracked up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've dropped my phone, porridge is everywhere... but I'm laughing so much as thread is so funny.x"

The irony, this thread is about lady porridge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You remember when Cadbury's changed the recipe for the Creme Egg...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I just re-read all this.

One of my fave threads ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read all of this.... bravo to youvall

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white! "

That's the one! It's no yolk ya know.

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

WTF.

There are some great turns of phrase here.

I love "self-cleaning" gear. It conjures up visions of a Wallace & Gromit style fanny gadget.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is fucking hilarious!

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By *uddlybear2015Man
over a year ago

BEDFORD


"It could possibly be the plug.

Or an infection.

Or fanny snot

It could be one of many things, the fanjo produces lots of lubricant and self cleaning gear.

Maybe it's left from the last man that was in there?

Oooooo, rice pudding

Creamy custard. I want someone to eat custard from me"

I can see hands shooting up and cries of me!me!me! Miss! Me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plink Plink Fizz Fizz Oh What A Relief It Is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock.

Fucking hilarious! Raw egg white!

That's the one! It's no yolk ya know."

Pmsl!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What like wall paper paste? Not been unlucky enough to experience that - thank god!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"WTF.

There are some great turns of phrase here.

I love "self-cleaning" gear. It conjures up visions of a Wallace & Gromit style fanny gadget."

I can envisage it unfortunately

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By *octor DeleriumMan
over a year ago

Bristol


"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?

Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course..."

I was otherwise engaged.

If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.

It's also found in sharks.

Doctor Delerium

PS I hate golf.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?

Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course...

I was otherwise engaged.

If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.

It's also found in sharks.

Doctor Delerium

PS I hate golf."

Yaaaaay, thread resurrected.

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

**chortles** I knew Princess would be excited

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This shit needs to be put in a script. Fuckin hilarious

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Jellied eel anyone?

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Thread of the year 2018

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

"

Niiiiiiiice

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"The comments here have made my day. So funny "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got some great line cleaner which should do the job if cleaning it out

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Where’s Doctor Delerium when you need him?

Bloody Forum Locum is probably on the golf course...

I was otherwise engaged.

If it's white and quite greasy it may be squalene, which is a normal component of a healthy vaginal discharge, but can be present in relative excess in early reproductive life.

It's also found in sharks.

Doctor Delerium

PS I hate golf."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be a good boy and lap that shit up... after all you want her to gobble up your baby batter or have it sprayed all over her back... but good on you for making her splirt that shit out, high five...

It's all protein after all...!

Yummy yum yum

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Just be a good boy and lap that shit up... after all you want her to gobble up your baby batter or have it sprayed all over her back... but good on you for making her splirt that shit out, high five...

It's all protein after all...!

Yummy yum yum "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fanny cream, everyone. Fanny cream *applauds*

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

White goo and baby batter

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"White goo and baby batter "

Are words you will never hear on Bake Off!

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By *otBunsHunWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Fanny batter

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Best thread ever?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha. Just read all that. Bloody hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come the ocasional rare specimen can squirt a milky goo out ?

I can only describe it as fanny cream

"
oh I love that had some vids a woman sent me on my old phone that have gone to cyber heaven now

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By *veready69Man
over a year ago

PLYMOUTH

Get at it wih yer popadom just like at the indan restaurant. If you're feeling fancy have some mango chutney with it too.

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By *oserMan
over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

Remember the story of how the spider bit Peter Parker ?

Well one day this girl stood on a slug........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this girl still alive even? Lol.

I swear I've not laughed so hard in ages at the beginning few posts of this thread.

I mean was she human or alien.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve heard of people foaming at the mouth but never foaming from the fanny . Fanny Foam .

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By *riefcase_WankerMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes


"The secretions can change at different stages of the monthly cycle.

Indeed. Lady lube is a funny old thang.

I think it’s like the OP described after ovulation.

I agree. If it was a slug like clear snot it would be the plug that's not needed.

I dropped mine on the bathroom floor once, it flew off the bog roll and I couldn't see it.

Half hour later my ex came in with it stuck to the bottom of his sock. "

Brings a new meaning to cumsock

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By *am62Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

It's wee

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