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Question for Spoken for peeps (not ‘cheating’!)

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By *oodnitegirl OP   Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I’ve been on fab for about nine years as both a single and a couple.

At the moment I’m in a new-ish relationship who I gave the whole ‘I’m not monogamous, this is my ‘thing’, take me or leave me speech on date 3! He’s happy. I frequent the scene alone. It works. No secrets.

I still get reams of messages from men (even ones that claim to know the lifestyle) telling me how unhappy I must be and that he doesn’t care about me etc.

Question is: how did you drop the bombshell? Did you ever play together at a point or is anyone like me an (informed) Lone Ranger?!

It’s getting on my wick how many seem to not understand how refreshing it can be

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Some people don't or won't understand that people in a relationship don't own each other in any way, even sexually. We don't try to help them understand we just pass by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ignore people who try to project their own insecurities on to my relationship.

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By *is vixen at playCouple
over a year ago

Dundee


"I’ve been on fab for about nine years as both a single and a couple.

At the moment I’m in a new-ish relationship who I gave the whole ‘I’m not monogamous, this is my ‘thing’, take me or leave me speech on date 3! He’s happy. I frequent the scene alone. It works. No secrets.

I still get reams of messages from men (even ones that claim to know the lifestyle) telling me how unhappy I must be and that he doesn’t care about me etc.

Question is: how did you drop the bombshell? Did you ever play together at a point or is anyone like me an (informed) Lone Ranger?!

It’s getting on my wick how many seem to not understand how refreshing it can be

"

Every relationship is different and what works for one wont work for another. As long as you are both happy and comfortable with how you go about things, who cares what others think. Some on here will say anything if they think it will help them get a foot in. Others though claiming to get the scene and be open minded are clearly clueless to how it works.

We met on here as singles, so both were aware at start. We have ground rules and can veto at any point. Communication is key. G

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I ignore people who try to project their own insecurities on to my relationship."

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

Honesty builds trust.That's what makes it all work. You're right. It is a weight gone from your shoulders and it allows you to enjoy yourself.

As for us, we started this lifestyle together after some serious discussion, so it isn't a position we've been in, but kudos to you.

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