FabSwingers.com forum: How open and honest should people be?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Should people have to give their real name?

Full list of previous sexual partners?

Results of their last sti test?

Their home and work address?

What question that someone wouldn't answer, would stop you meeting them?

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Refusal of face pic. I don't need their personal details, though I like to get a sense of who they are. I'd like to know that they've been tested ideally, condoms don't prevent everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't answer anything that would lead to any dramas or the like getting near my kids, like home address, precise location, my last name.

But that said, my pin number for my bank card is 1569.

It's useless without the card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm as open and as honest as I feel I need to to with whomever I choose to be with.

But my middle name is Gurtrude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least a face pic and real first name for me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm as open and as honest as I feel I need to to with whomever I choose to be with.

But my middle name is Gurtrude

Dirty gurty, indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i believe they should be very open and honest but they not on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recent face pic. Real name

Im not bothered about their lives or dramas and im a safe sex girl only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face pictures are a must once you gain trust in my opinion as you have to have a physical attraction (no bursting into song)

Couldn’t meet someone without seeing face pic that’s weird

Personal info I’m not bothered about as long as people are honest with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm an open book if someone asks I'll answer honestly if I can.

Also I'm Batman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find girls and couples who are more open and honest are a much bigger turn on but only if they are totally honest xx

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

My real name is Sister Lisa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real name and recent photos are a must, the rest isn't necessary, nor any of my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should people have to give their real name?

Full list of previous sexual partners?

Results of their last sti test?

Their home and work address?

What question that someone wouldn't answer, would stop you meeting them? "

I think people should be open and honest - as in don’t deceive another person. Does that mean they have to disclose everything about themselves, no - but in balance with the harm or impact that not doing so has on the other person by disallowing them the opportunity to make an informed choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don’t mind telling someone the truth about myself if they would like to know. But I like to know a little about them to

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Should people have to give their real name?

Full list of previous sexual partners?

Results of their last sti test?

Their home and work address?

What question that someone wouldn't answer, would stop you meeting them?

The problem is, people don't like it if someone doesn't answer a question. So it's sometimes better to just lie - for example about the job they do or the town they live in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should people have to give their real name?

Full list of previous sexual partners?

Results of their last sti test?

Their home and work address?

What question that someone wouldn't answer, would stop you meeting them?

The problem is, people don't like it if someone doesn't answer a question. So it's sometimes better to just lie - for example about the job they do or the town they live in. "

If there was something asked of me that I didn’t feel I wanted to disclose, than that’s what I’d say. Ask me exactly my job, I’ll explain the extent of our interaction or relationship thus far and why I don’t think it’s relevant for them to know or something I’m particularly wanting to share yet. And so on. If someone is unable to balance understanding safety and separation of life to casual interactions or that we simply aren’t intimate or close enough yet to exchange that, then they really aren’t someone I’m particularly wanting to spend time with.

It’s not dishonest to say I don’t want to give you all my info, it is to lie. I prefer the former approach.

I don’t think it’s okay to withhold certain information (for example being married) as that is not allowing the other person choice to proceed or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make up all sorts of shit or tell people it's completely irrelevant to the swinging situation. If they aren't cool with that then we aren't compatible. I don't ask personal questions of others so don't expect to have to answer them.

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

There's no lies on our profile and we're happy to answer pretty much any personal questions when we're getting to know potential playmates. We sign our messages with our real names and give our numbers out if we think there's a real chance of meeting...We do expect a bit of reciprocation though and getting to know each other is part of the fun isn't it?

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

I don't need a face picture, mainly because I don't share mine, years of being on the BDSM scene and seeing some of the fall out from people falling out about that has left me very very cautious of what personal details I give out.

Same with real names, I use the same pseudonym in the BDSM scene so much and for so long that Jayne is as much my real name as my real name, it's what my friends call me (given most of my friends are from the scene)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll give what ever information I feel comfortable with giving.

A couple of people on here are on my Facebook and others will never be, all depends how much a trust someone.

If someone won’t meet me because I won’t give them the information they want, than so be it

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Having said these are the things Im not looking for...charmingly dishonest with intent to disceive has happened to me on here. The unspoken word says it all!!

I like to know something about a person as I'm interested in them for me this helps with a connection. Im also not looking for one offs so maybe this makes a difference.

Should I go to a club then thats a total differant ball game.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Aside from face pics and if we are unsure as to whether they are genuine or not the requirement to have a phone conversation (we will provide the phone number if they don't want to give their) people should only divulge what they feel confident to tell. Over time if we meet the same people regularly more and more of our personal life be shared and the same can be said of those we meet.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

We would like to hope we are pretty open. People we meet know our real names, friends usually become facebook friends too.

With regard to others I would hope they would give their real christian names, we dont really need to know much more but as a friendship develops you tend to learn more about them and them about us.

As far as initial messaging goes we would insist on seeing a face picture and we would need to establish some kind of rapport.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

99.9% of (fabbers) do not tell the truth anyway. I divulge the basics about myself. But, certainly not the fundamentals about myself.

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By *veragecouple321Couple
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

We always use our real names, really don’t see the point of being dishonest, as you normally get caught out. If you are going to be intimate with someone, surely a real name is a good way to start, but don’t need to know about their life, some people don’t like using their real names and I suppose that is there prerogative but it wouldn’t stop us meeting as long as everyone ‘clicked’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ID guess they should be 99% but in all honesty more likely to be 15%

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"99.9% of (fabbers) do not tell the truth anyway. I divulge the basics about myself. But, certainly not the fundamentals about myself."

You have a very dim view of people dont you?

Thats very high %... we prefer to take each persons word, there is no point in lying it wont get them anywhere.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

All these people giving fake names, do you never worry you'll bump into someone from fab when you're on a work night out or something, they're d*unkenly shouting the wrong name across the pub at you as you pretend not to know them? That's my fake name fear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll give a face pic and extremely limited personal info - only 2 regular meets know my real name. We're having NSA sex so details are irrelevant, and I don't want to know anything about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll give a face pic and extremely limited personal info - only 2 regular meets know my real name. We're having NSA sex so details are irrelevant, and I don't want to know anything about them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"99.9% of (fabbers) do not tell the truth anyway. I divulge the basics about myself. But, certainly not the fundamentals about myself.

You have a very dim view of people dont you?

Thats very high %... we prefer to take each persons word, there is no point in lying it wont get them anywhere."

Aye, lol.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"All these people giving fake names, do you never worry you'll bump into someone from fab when you're on a work night out or something, they're d*unkenly shouting the wrong name across the pub at you as you pretend not to know them? That's my fake name fear

If they are d*unk then I would just say that they must have the wrong person. Then give them a proper dressing down the next time I was sober.

I've had it happen with someone from the BDSM scene and I was not happy. Thankfully never anyone from the swinging scene.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

We did this with a guy weve known on here for years. We met him in a bar with his mates and he invited us to join him. We started using the name we thought was his real name but after saying it a few times his mates were like why you calling so and so that? Then it twigged lol. Was awkward but funny.

We used to call our selves jen and Bruce but we used to forget all the time and end up using our real names in conversation. It’s just easier to tell the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm as open and as honest as I feel I need to to with whomever I choose to be with.

But my middle name is Gurtrude

Dirty gurty, indeed

Shhhhh.... it's always the quiet ones Butler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is the key

I do use my real first name and if I'm asked about my job or more personal stuff if it's someone I believe I can trust I will always be open and honest. It's simpler that way. If I don't want to divulge personal information then I simply don't.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

Doesn't Playdar come into the equation here?

We general can smell BS if it's being dished out and if something doesn't sit right, we don't go further. We don't see the need to know everything but do need to establish some form of connection and level of trust. That probably varies in a club, where it is more opportunity against spending an evening with someone(s) with maybe a view for repeat meets. That said, we've made really good friends with a couple we met at a club and that was unexpected but nonetheless, a fantastic thing for us to stumble into

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't give out personal details online but once I've met them in person I judge what I reveal depending on how open the other person is.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Honesty is the key

Honesty is the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like a poker game for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like to know a name and feel that theyre not being cagey in general chit chat. I dont need to know any specifics,but do like to think i've connected enough to someone to be trusted with the basics.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I can't count the number of 'real name' Steve's, Rob's and Mike's I've met with a different real name. I prefer to stick to the name they give me.

I'm honest and open but won't give out identifying information until I know someone. I was found, and followed, just with my first name and an indication of my line of work.

I'm Lickety at socials as that's my Fab name and persona.

Be honest in intent.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Well I can at lest verify that you are actually called Doris OP

My real name is Mr Dickhead to people that know me well, otherwise I'm just called Richard, or any other deviation thereof

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

*least

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

I'm happy to answer questions but not straight away, I have to have a feeling of trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask no questions; don't get told lies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know anymore

That's why I haven't met anyone new recently.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Well since there’s a fair few fab members who don’t think people need to divulge their hiv status if they have it , it’s a pointless exercise discussing whether we use real names , where you work etc...

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Should people have to give their real name?

Full list of previous sexual partners?

Results of their last sti test?

Their home and work address?

What question that someone wouldn't answer, would stop you meeting them? "

I like first names. Everything else is a bonus, although I don't need personal details, private life can stay private in my books. Although I like to ask the (single) people I meet if they have a partner and gauge their reaction...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Well since there’s a fair few fab members who don’t think people need to divulge their hiv status if they have it , it’s a pointless exercise discussing whether we use real names , where you work etc...

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

You are not out of touch! And definitely not worth leaving the site over, but I understand where you are coming from.

You two have always just done your own thing any way, so just carry on with your own enjoyment, though I feel you may be feeling a bit distrustful just now which I understand just never question your own morality!

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"I'm happy to answer questions but not straight away, I have to have a feeling of trust. "

Not forgetting we are all here for different reasons and prefer to do things in different ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As open as required as mysterious as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

See, to me that's the kind of stuff I'd have no problem sharing and think it's very important that people are honest about. I really don't get though what relevance my name, where I live and even what I do for a living has when meeting for sex. I guess for me I'm vague with the truth where it could impact my everyday life. If that means that people won't trust me to be honest about the important stuff (as far as I'm concerned) then so be it. I don't want to meet anyone who's gonna think it's a big deal when they find out I'm not called Scarlet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you realise that we're all just a bunch of (horny) strangers is the time where you have to ask yourself whether you care about that person's life / sexual history or marital status.

Unless you become good friends in real life then how much of any of it is true?

The "single straight guy" you meet could be a married man that indulges in gay bareback gangbangs.

Or the single woman you meet could be hiding a whole lot of STI secrets ...

No one really knows anyone!

The people I work with would never guess how I spend my weekends.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I can appreciate that some people want to keep their identity a secret for several reasons, but I don't give too hoots, and ma surname is the same as a current dog food advert

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

*two

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Agree with you on this one Scarlet.

If I'm meeting someone whether it be for a social or sex I don't really give a flying fcuk what job they do, their star sign, their "real " name or their address.

Ok maybe their star sign.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I can appreciate that some people want to keep their identity a secret for several reasons, but I don't give too hoots, and ma surname is the same as a current dog food advert

Ace Winger Pedigree-Chum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Agree with you on this one Scarlet.

If I'm meeting someone whether it be for a social or sex I don't really give a flying fcuk what job they do, their star sign, their "real " name or their address.

Ok maybe their star sign.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Honesty is the key

Exactly this.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

You are not out of touch! And definitely not worth leaving the site over, but I understand where you are coming from.

And shock horror that thread has now been removed

Maybe Fab does indeed endorse that level of secrecy

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Really? Omg I'd rather have a wank tbh. Just be careful and use ur initiative.

I'd find it odd if I was approached this personal...

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

You are not out of touch! And definitely not worth leaving the site over, but I understand where you are coming from.

And shock horror that thread has now been removed

Maybe Fab does indeed endorse that level of secrecy

Shocking !

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I can appreciate that some people want to keep their identity a secret for several reasons, but I don't give too hoots, and ma surname is the same as a current dog food advert

Ace Winger Pedigree-Chum?"

I'm more of a Pal than a Chum actually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that. "

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The world is full of liars.

Sime are minor,one are huge

I am meeting less these days, by choice, due to the risks and hassle.

Familiar friends only.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

You are not out of touch! And definitely not worth leaving the site over, but I understand where you are coming from.

And shock horror that thread has now been removed

Maybe Fab does indeed endorse that level of secrecy

Shocking !

It is indeed! Where is the integrity?

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

You are not out of touch! And definitely not worth leaving the site over, but I understand where you are coming from.

And shock horror that thread has now been removed

Maybe Fab does indeed endorse that level of secrecy

Shocking !

It is indeed! Where is the integrity?

Sadly lacking , and that’s never a good thing is it ?

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Honesty and integrity are different. But you cannot have integrity if you are not honest.

For me I expect truthful answers if I ask a question. I’m happy to be told “it’s none of my business” if I’m being too nosy. I don’t always ask too many questions, specially in a club situation, and in that situation I don’t really care who you are. But anyone I let into my life or my home I expect them to be truthful about the things I ask them. I am clear about the things that are important to me. If someone chose to ignore that then I would assume they didn’t think enough of me to be truthful and it would probably be the end of it.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx"

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers. "

Should I get my coat and leave now

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

Should I get my coat and leave now

There's no time to get your coat. Just run!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

Should I get my coat and leave now

There's no time to get your coat. Just run!!"

Hate the “singles ain’t swingers” nonsense, swinging is a state of mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

Should I get my coat and leave now

There's no time to get your coat. Just run!!

Hate the “singles ain’t swingers” nonsense, swinging is a state of mind"

I agree. x

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

Should I get my coat and leave now

There's no time to get your coat. Just run!!

Hate the “singles ain’t swingers” nonsense, swinging is a state of mind"

Agree totally .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I truly despair sometimes , and since the hiv thread came up , I am seriously thinking of leaving fab as it seems I must be so out of touch .

Oh jeez, are you serious? That’s so depressing that someone wouldn’t have integrity over something as serious as that.

Got to agree with you both

The lack of integrity shown by most swingers is widespread, it’s depressing xx

That thread was about a single guy. Singles can't possibly be swingers.

Should I get my coat and leave now

There's no time to get your coat. Just run!!

Hate the “singles ain’t swingers” nonsense, swinging is a state of mind

Agree totally .

i agree but there two side to a story but on here it all one side

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made the mistake of being too open and honest on here, so now I’m a mythomaniac

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Why can't a guy want to swing with a couple? I hate the term "swinging" it's so out dated

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By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"I made the mistake of being too open and honest on here, so now I’m a mythomaniac"
opens Google

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to find out quite a lot about the people I meet, comes through chatting / having a social as opposed to interrogation

Personal info I disclose on here is fairly neutral, depending on how the meet goes and if we plan to meet again I’ll disclose more over time.

I won’t answer anything about my personal situation until I know the person well.

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