FabSwingers.com forum: was i wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I got chatting to someone the other night for about 4 hours and thought we got on really well. we seemed to be both looking for the same things and we did arranged to meet but as soon as i ask for her number she stopped speaking to me.

so i know think she is a time waster and was just leading me on. am i right or wrong in thinking that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your neither right nor wrong

If that's what you think - go with your instincts

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

OMG!!! ou cant call single women times wasters!!!! lol

seems a bit odd to be fair, has she definitely ready your message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OMG!!! ou cant call single women times wasters!!!! lol

seems a bit odd to be fair, has she definitely ready your message?"

yes she has, as we was chatting on msn

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"OMG!!! ou cant call single women times wasters!!!! lol

seems a bit odd to be fair, has she definitely ready your message?

yes she has, as we was chatting on msn"

oh ok then, have you tried talking to her since?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Did you answer the doorbell when it rang?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a stalker as well so only give out phone number day of a meet (then again seeing ours have all been last min not really been much choice) thoug we would at least give an answer to why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well in this case, maybe, yes you were wrong. Why? Different people have different ways of approaching setting up a meet. Did she waste your time? No I don't think so, you were sat a computer "wasting your own time" so to speak, just because I chat with somebody via the message system, does not mean they are obligated to keep chatting or meet me.

Maybe her computer connection died, maybe by posting this in the forums, when she gets back online and see you have questioned her genuinity, she will be turned off.

It was a four hour chat, she could have been chatting with ten other blokes, who knows? Too many maybes, I will give her a call and find out....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OMG!!! ou cant call single women times wasters!!!! lol

seems a bit odd to be fair, has she definitely ready your message?

yes she has, as we was chatting on msn

oh ok then, have you tried talking to her since?"

yes i did message her yesterday on msn when i seen her online. just asking if she had changed her mind about meeting. i did say if she had then fine but could she just let me know one way or the other. but never got a message back so i have gave up.

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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago

Dudley/Telford

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!"

totally with you here i never give my number out too dangerous and if the man cant accept the only contact is through this site then thats his call

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!"

Easy way around that one... get a £10 pay as you go phone and call it your "shagging phone".

We are quite the opposite with our suspicion... if they won't have a quick chat over the phone first then we won't meet.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

4 hours is not a long time if she only has 1 phone...

she gave out her MSN as the first step.

you shouldn't have asked, she may have offered it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always though 'genuine swingers' always had a play phone, just for meets etc...

I know I do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!

totally with you here i never give my number out too dangerous and if the man cant accept the only contact is through this site then thats his call"

ok i get where you are comeing from but why not just say that she dus not give her number out insted of just stop speaking

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Putting a stop to talking to someone is not what I would call a timewaster, but that aside, does it really matter if you are right or wrong?

It happens... people stop talking for all kinds of reasons.

If you need reassurance about rights and wrongs each time it happens you're gonna find it hard work on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

For whatever reason she seems to have changed her mind about you,it happens,not everyone is always brave enough to say they've changed their mind and find it easier to block

Maybe next time offer your number instead of asking for hers and then just say give me a ring when you want to chat on the phone instead of by msn

Most people that are serious will want a phone chat at some point,I know we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you arrange a definite date and time to meet or did the conversation go a little like

"I like you, do you want to meet”

”Yeah you're a nice guy, will have to meet sometime”

”Can I have your number now then”

Maybe she just wants a few chats before entrusting you with her phone number. If you've messaged her on here and she blocks you, then she's just gone off the idea. She's not really a timewaster unless she doesn't turn up for the actual meet, not cos you spent 4 hrs chatting and she goes offline and doesn't want to chat anymore

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I always though 'genuine swingers' always had a play phone, just for meets etc...

I know I do

Nope.

Some people have a second phone... feck all with being genuine or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!

Easy way around that one... get a £10 pay as you go phone and call it your "shagging phone".

We are quite the opposite with our suspicion... if they won't have a quick chat over the phone first then we won't meet."

That is exactly what we do all the time now. But we use the phone for verification purposes only. If someone wants the number before the day of the meet, or asks for it before a meet has been arranged, we refuse. If they insist, then we block them. Our "throw away phone" gets at least 2 unsolicited calls every week if we leave it on, despite telling guys that we will not answer casual calls!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For whatever reason she seems to have changed her mind about you,it happens,not everyone is always brave enough to say they've changed their mind and find it easier to block

Maybe next time offer your number instead of asking for hers and then just say give me a ring when you want to chat on the phone instead of by msn

Most people that are serious will want a phone chat at some point,I know we do"

Yep....if there seems to be a good rapport...offering your number, and saying if you fancy following up give us a call...seems the best way fer us s`well...

I filter people by their enthusiam fer a quick prelimary phone call...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always though 'genuine swingers' always had a play phone, just for meets etc...

I know I do

No they don't. I don't give my number out. It would drive me mental getting messages on that just saying hi how are you today, like I get on here. I end up smashing the phonre with a sledgehammer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont mind if someone asks me for my phone number. Maybe she was married.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

well by what most of you have said i guess i was wrong asking for it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

should have waited see if she offered it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well by what most of you have said i guess i was wrong asking for it"

You are entitled to ask. I can't see any wrong in your question.

I'm gonna stick my neck out and say that she could have answered you with a refusal. "sorry, I don't give out my no." would have done the trick. If you were to go on and then ask her why... then I would say you at that point would be wrong in asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"should have waited see if she offered it"

To be honest fella...

I don`t know if you can paint yer situation in terms of black and white..

However I would say..in my experience playing as a single....

Offering is ok..

Asking can seem pushy and some females get alot of crap with chaps who aren`t respectful of peoples space...

Its building trust with a person....

Sometimes...asking how the person likes to do things fairly early on , in an open enquiring manner is ok...to me...

I wouldn`t challenge in any way ..their preferred way of doing things....but it tells me alot about the person...

Best of luck..

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"well by what most of you have said i guess i was wrong asking for it"

No you are not wrong for asking... if you want to talk to someone on the phone to check they are a woman, ask them.

If you like to have a quick chat to get a feel for the person, ask them.

If they get the arse about it, bollox to them.

What's wrong is asking other people if you are right or wrong.... based on a snippet of info.

You spoke for hours. For all we know you said something really fucking stupid 5 minutes before you asked for her number and it was her time to cut and run because she couldn't be arsed anymore.

For all we know she may have said 2 hours previous that she doesn't like giving out her number and you forgot.

For all we know it could have been a guy.

For all we know she could have been from Sydney University.

I know you initially only asked if you were wrong for thinking she was a timewaster and the answer to that is probably yes, yes you are wrong.... as she hasn't left you with the impression the meet is going ahead, so is not a timewaster in most people's definition of the term.

People change their mind at the exploring stage. The only person who knows why is her (or him).

Anything said on here about why who did what is guess work... we were not privy to all of the conversation.

And for fucks sake don't go changing how you want to do things just because one or two people on here say they wouldn't like it.... it's not them meeting the person.... it's not their choice... it's not them who needs to feel OK about the arrangement.... that would be YOU.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

usually if i am chatting to someone and want to take it further a phone number or msn could be exchanged.

if they have read the message and after the initial message a few days later nothing then i block and delete

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!

totally with you here i never give my number out too dangerous and if the man cant accept the only contact is through this site then thats his call"

Why is it too dangerous to give out your phone number ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Quite possibly wrong......we NEVER give out a phone number as we have had trouble with "stalkers" not once, but three times! We always treat requests for a phone number with extreme suspicion!

totally with you here i never give my number out too dangerous and if the man cant accept the only contact is through this site then thats his call

Why is it too dangerous to give out your phone number ?"

I didn't like to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave out my number to someone who seemed really decent and with whom I had messaged for weeks.

No phone call or messages for 2 weeks then he starts to bombard to me sex texts at all hours of night and day and even spouted filth down the phone when my 9 year old daughter answered it before I could get to it.

Had to change my number, major inconveniance, never again

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Single guy wanking over your chat.... simples.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Every so often I nip into Tesco and pick up a free new sim card.

If I want to keep some of the numbers I save them to the phone before I switch the sim card.

Come to think of it... not changed it for a while. But if there is a need to, it's no more hassle than nipping out for a packet of fags.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I gave out my number to someone who seemed really decent and with whom I had messaged for weeks.

Had to change my number, major inconveniance, never again"

Sorry fer this...

But you have a shared responsibility...

You chose to give this person yer number...thats your judgement..

You leave a phone with adult content in reach of a child...was it a play phone ?

Do you not ask yer children NOT to look at yer personal stuff..?

I`d agree the bloke was a tosser...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Single guy wanking over your chat.... simples."

wished someone wanked over my chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all do things differently and at different paces but anyone who asked for my contact details in the first message is blocked as I would see it as pushy.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Single guy wanking over your chat.... simples.

wished someone wanked over my chat

Ohhhh you flirt lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well by what most of you have said i guess i was wrong asking for it"

I do not think you were wrong to ask a question. We are not mind readers and she could have said "No"

I guess she may feel pressured now, especially as it's a topic in this thread. Maybe leave her a few days and then ask if she felt it was intrusive or you were being a bit too forward. open the door for her to tell you how she saw things

Good luck

Ray x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Shes not a timewaster...she may have been a cocktease tho

Thing is its easier to say yeah sure i wanna meet than be honest and say im enjoying the cyber (women do it too) but once i have frigged myself silly,you are no longer of any interest to me.

Next time offer your number...if she wants to move from cyber to real she will let you know.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I always though 'genuine swingers' always had a play phone, just for meets etc...

I know I do

really?? when is your rule book on genuine swinging coming out??

Seems i have been doing things wrong for 3 years

, always give my number out and, apart from one guy who passed it on to a mate i have never had any major problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah ... we have what we call a "swing phone" an old mobile from an upgrade with a payg sim .... off all the time til we need to use it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I gave out my number to someone who seemed really decent and with whom I had messaged for weeks.

Had to change my number, major inconveniance, never again"

You need a play phone (£10 and a PAYG sim)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

really?? when is your rule book on genuine swinging coming out??

..."

Very soon.

It's full of advice and suggestions on how to avoid problems.

here is a sample, in no order

*A play phone is good. This allows you to control when the phone is on, preventing embarrassing calls (maybe).

*If during the 'chatting period' there is something you don't like, move on.

*Women have the upper hand on 'Adult sites' be nice to them (You should be nice to all people...)

Sadly there will be nothing on how to get meets.

Fancy a drink Miss

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We have had a few times where we have spoken to either a couple of a single fem where they won't switch the cam on just for a minute or won't talk on the phone. We usually put it down to not being what they say they are and move on. Never had it with a single guy profile though..

One actually said "she" was a 20 year old and told us what she was wearing and that her parents were out. Typed like a bloke and we told "her" that we were sorry to waste her time but we were really looking for a single guy. Funnily enough, her male friend was there and she now had to go out, so she would "put him on!"

I would put your conversation down to being either a male who gets off on being able to chat and get off on that or a fem who just wants a little light relief.

Don't worry about it or any negative comments on here, just go with your instinct and just accept it for what it is! BTW, did you wank while chatting?

Ooooh! You wanked over a ma'an, you wanked over a ma'an

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