FabSwingers.com forum: How to chop onions

By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Following a bizarre conversation this afternoon, the subject of chopping onions arose.

I never knew there were so many varying techniques to get them sliced and diced without the tears and tantrums..

so come on, spill the beans and let us know what your onion chopping technique is..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy them ready chopped

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Soak them in water before chopping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Buy them ready chopped

This

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Buy them ready chopped

So this

I realised how much of a pain it was so I bought ready chopped and put in pan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soak them in water before chopping"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give them to Marc to chop. Not worries here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I could justify buying ready chopped anything, unless it was like 5p in the reduced section lol

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I just rinse my fingers in water if I start to tear up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I give them to Marc to chop. Not worries here

Can I bring my 5 kg onion bag?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With a choppy thing....

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be quick

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Shrap knife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wear contact lens. My eyea never water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Buy one of those chopping gizmos off QVC or use a blender

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Run water while I chop mine, seems to work with the tears unless it's a particularly strong one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cut in half long way 1st

Then slice carefully parallel to the first cut a few times, then cut horizantally as fine as you can

Done

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Cheffy is a chef.... you dont have a dog and bark yourself. Onion issues solved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does. "

Onions are hydroscopic. The onion is attracted to the fluid in your eye. You only need to put a bowl of water by the chopping board and your eyes won't be affected.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

You can actually buy ready chopped onions?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/03/18 19:09:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Run them under the tap first and chop quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Red onions are not so bad to chop!

The running water is interesting, I just chop them as fast as possible, then no watering eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I give them to Marc to chop. Not worries here

Can I bring my 5 kg onion bag?

Then he wouldn't have time to chop the onions I give him. So, no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get stuck in. I like a good cry every now and then.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

He does it. Underwater, if I am around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I give them to Marc to chop. Not worries here

Can I bring my 5 kg onion bag?

Then he wouldn't have time to chop the onions I give him. So, no.

But it gives time for us to snog in the room next door...

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Step 1. Grow a pair

Step 2. Chop onions

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I was taught that the base holds most of the stuff that makes you cry, therefor try to cut that part as little as possible. That’s what I’ve always done and I genuinely never cry... either I’m incredibly lucky or it actually works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't peel before chopping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1. Do not cut through the stem end.

2. Have a cut lemon near by

3. If you wear glasses try not to (easier said than done) but the ‘fumes’ will congregate between the lens and eye increasing the irritation

4. Use a very sharp knife. If you ‘rasp the onion’ it exacerbates the release.

5. Use a wooden chopping board.

6. I’ve bored myself now.

7. Shhhhh now.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Chop and cry.

It's tradition and it's BRITISH!

BACK OFF BRUSSELS WITH YOUR PRE-CHOPPED ONIONS. That nonsense will stop after Brexit.

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By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"Buy them ready chopped

So this

I realised how much of a pain it was so I bought ready chopped and put in pan

And how is it those pre chopped onions in the sealed packet can make your car stink like a waste chemical processing factory within 5 minutes on the drive home?

Don't bloody trust them pre chopped buggers, I reckon that Sergei Skirpol was on his way home from Tesco with his pack of chopped onions to go in his borscht when the seal broke and he was overcome by the noxious oniony fumes..

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By *entileschiWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Get my man to chop them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cut in half long way 1st

Then slice carefully parallel to the first cut a few times, then cut horizantally as fine as you can

Done"

Been doing the same for years and never once come close to tears...............did slice my middle finger once though.........but was more blood than tears

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"1. Do not cut through the stem end.

2. Have a cut lemon near by

3. If you wear glasses try not to (easier said than done) but the ‘fumes’ will congregate between the lens and eye increasing the irritation

4. Use a very sharp knife. If you ‘rasp the onion’ it exacerbates the release.

5. Use a wooden chopping board.

6. I’ve bored myself now.

7. Shhhhh now.

"Rasp the Onion"? Blimey.Is that a Fab euphemism? I'm gonna check Urban Dictionary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A knife is useful..... so i find.

Or a gas mask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following a bizarre conversation this afternoon, the subject of chopping onions arose.

I never knew there were so many varying techniques to get them sliced and diced without the tears and tantrums..

so come on, spill the beans and let us know what your onion chopping technique is.. "

Swimming goggles..looks silly but works just fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Step 1. Grow a pair

Step 2. Chop onions"

It'll take forever to grow a pair of onions, can i buy some

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Step 1. Grow a pair

Step 2. Chop onions

It'll take forever to grow a pair of onions, can i buy some

Oh I'm loving this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Breath through your mouth not your nose

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Breath through your mouth not your nose

You've used that line before..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I could justify buying ready chopped anything, unless it was like 5p in the reduced section lol"

This.

I keep them in the fridge. The vapour from them is less volatile when cold. I also use disposable latex free powder free gloves for onions and garlic so my hands don't smell. Always been a breeze to chop onions since I started doing this.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The stuff that makes you cry comes from the root end of the onion...so cut off the shoot end first and bin it ...then chop off the root end..bin that and stand the onion upright for a second or two...then cut it in half vertically before chopping it up further

...xxx onionlovingman xxx

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

So...I got talc-ed up and got my rubber suit on, couldn't find my swimming goggles so improvised with a snorkel, ran a tap and also had a bowl of water ready (belt and braces)...then discovered I'd run out of fecking onions.

I seem a bit overdressed for peeling a carrot.

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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

Swimming goggles

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By *orwegian Blue OP Man
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"Breath through your mouth not your nose

Ive learnt to breathe through my ears..

It has other uses apart from when peeling onions..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swimming goggles"

I've done that before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dried onion tastes ok in soups and stews. I haven't bought them for about 20 Years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a tea spoon in your mouth

True fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does. "

The reason our eyes water is because there’s something in the onion which attracted to moisture so the tap would be good some people recommend a wet towel or cut lemon etc next to the chopping board others suggest bread I’ve even heard holding a wooden spoon in your mouth while you’re chopping I’m yet to find a foolproof way but there’s plenty out there

Ads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick your tongue at whilst chopping, no tears.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Peel, removing only the skin and as little of the onion flesh as is possible.

Cut in half

Cut diagonally from outside edge to centre but not all the way through to centre and not to close to the root.

Slice finely

Throw root away.

Works for me very well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use a fan to blow the vapours away from your eyes or avoid cutting through the root part of the onion as that is where the vapours are.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does.

Onions are hydroscopic. The onion is attracted to the fluid in your eye. You only need to put a bowl of water by the chopping board and your eyes won't be affected."

Yes spot on, a nurse told me this.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Following a bizarre conversation this afternoon, the subject of chopping onions arose.

I never knew there were so many varying techniques to get them sliced and diced without the tears and tantrums..

so come on, spill the beans and let us know what your onion chopping technique is..

Swimming goggles..looks silly but works just fine"

Haha, I used to wear ma motorbike helmet

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Chop plenty of onions, you soon get used to it so your eyes don't water

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use a sharp knife it helps to reduce onion juices spraying into the air.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Use a sharp knife it helps to reduce onion juices spraying into the air."

How about a Samurai sword, ya can do it from a distance, thus reducing the chances of the spray getting in yer eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use a sharp knife it helps to reduce onion juices spraying into the air.

How about a Samurai sword, ya can do it from a distance, thus reducing the chances of the spray getting in yer eyes

You would look cool too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does.

Onions are hydroscopic. The onion is attracted to the fluid in your eye. You only need to put a bowl of water by the chopping board and your eyes won't be affected."

If you're on a meter this also saves on the water bills which could end up being eye watering too!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

The last lot of small onions that I chopped up kept giggling every time I touched one.

I think they were tickled onions

Sorry, I'll get my coat

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By *ed PlanetCouple
over a year ago

Beautiful East Yorkshire

"I don't think I could justify buying ready chopped anything, unless it was like 5p in the reduced section lol"

This!!!

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By *ustylouWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I place my chopping board as close to an open flame on the hob as is safe. Normally as I'm heating a pan. It burns off the smell I guess.

Works every time.

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By *ed PlanetCouple
over a year ago

Beautiful East Yorkshire

"Chop and cry.

It's tradition and it's BRITISH!

BACK OFF BRUSSELS WITH YOUR PRE-CHOPPED ONIONS. That nonsense will stop after Brexit."

Haha, I’m with ya!!!

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By *onkeymagic50Man
over a year ago

Near the harbour

"I place my chopping board as close to an open flame on the hob as is safe. Normally as I'm heating a pan. It burns off the smell I guess.

Works every time. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

walking deads Rick clearly hasnt a clue

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By *ed PlanetCouple
over a year ago

Beautiful East Yorkshire

Generally a mix of a few, breathing through my mouth, chopping next to extractor, but I’m gonna try the running tap or bowl of water next time!

Great thread, random but educational! Lol

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I wear protective goggles but diving goggles also work whilst chopping, this method has changed my life for the better!!!

As with everything Protection is best.

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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

"Swimming goggles

I've done that before. "

It works perfectly with me though.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Buy them ready chopped

I find that the diced ones from the supermarket really give off a strong odour and if left a day they stink like vinegar ( must be a preservative ) I avoid them unless the cooking is just for me and needs to be quick. Fresh onions are far better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Breath through your mouth not your nose

You've used that line before.."

Maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just get on with it - few onion tears never did anybody much harm

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

1 onion

1 chopping board

1 sharp knife

1 the onion (*) and lay it on the chopping board.

2.slice the onion in half lengthways (!)

do not remove the root or the leaf end as this is where the stuff that makes tears comes from.

3.remove skin lay on flat side and slice both ways. ( yes the rooty and the leafy bit will have to be cut away eventually )

4. As you finish slicing put the rooty n leafy ends in the bin.

Seriously, it's the future.

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"1 onion

1 chopping board

1 sharp knife

1 the onion (*) and lay it on the chopping board.

2.slice the onion in half lengthways (!)

do not remove the root or the leaf end as this is where the stuff that makes tears comes from.

3.remove skin lay on flat side and slice both ways. ( yes the rooty and the leafy bit will have to be cut away eventually )

4. As you finish slicing put the rooty n leafy ends in the bin.

Seriously, it's the future.

Think this may be the best thing I've learnt all day! Going to try and remember this like a revision exercise

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I take back anything I said ( even tho it's true )

Everyone use this method

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TllPrdbZ-VI

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Don't peel before chopping"

How does one deal with tiny bits of peel ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1 onion

1 chopping board

1 sharp knife

1 the onion (*) and lay it on the chopping board.

2.slice the onion in half lengthways (!)

do not remove the root or the leaf end as this is where the stuff that makes tears comes from.

3.remove skin lay on flat side and slice both ways. ( yes the rooty and the leafy bit will have to be cut away eventually )

4. As you finish slicing put the rooty n leafy ends in the bin.

Seriously, it's the future.

How can you slice through the onion with both ends still on?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Read point 3 in brackets.

I can't explain without pictures.

Cut onion in half lengthways.

cut through onion both ways avoiding cutting through the rooty bit.

It's dooable. I dooable it always. It works

Just make sure you approach the rooty end last and chuck it away.

i.e. don't remove and then chop cos then you are working in tear gas.

Clearer ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read point 3 in brackets.

I can't explain without pictures.

Cut onion in half lengthways.

cut through onion both ways avoiding cutting through the rooty bit.

It's dooable. I dooable it always. It works

Just make sure you approach the rooty end last and chuck it away.

i.e. don't remove and then chop cos then you are working in tear gas.

Clearer ?"

I think so.

I chop off the flowery end bit, after cutting the onion in half length ways (which, incidentally halves the rooty and flowery end, thus enabling the eye streamy chemical (allium?) to evaporate out), then slice the onion vertically, not through the rooty bit, and then horizontally 3 times, not through the rooty bit, before slicing along the width. My eyes only stream badly with onions I've had in the cupboard for a few days.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

When you cut through the onion ( fucking hell ) you do cut through the rooty bit but you've only made one cut not a zillion stingy stuff releasing cuts.

Throw the rooty bit away intact. Twice. Cos there's two halves in one onion ......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

3 times ? you like chunky onion i'd say

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

3 times ? you like chunky onion i'd say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Run a tap while chopping. Dunno why it works but it does.

Onions are hydroscopic. The onion is attracted to the fluid in your eye. You only need to put a bowl of water by the chopping board and your eyes won't be affected."

And this is why I love fab forums..

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By *r big 400Man
over a year ago

hull

Ring a takeaway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 times ? you like chunky onion i'd say

That's the horizontal cuts, after the 10+ vertical cuts. Then cut vertically across the width of the onion 10+ times. Your cutting across 3 different planes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you cut through the onion ( fucking hell ) you do cut through the rooty bit but you've only made one cut not a zillion stingy stuff releasing cuts.

Throw the rooty bit away intact. Twice. Cos there's two halves in one onion ...... "

My rooty bits get thrown away intact last. The other end gets thrown before I start chopping (I think)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like this gran (but I do 3 horizontal slices)

https://youtu.be/dCGS067s0zo

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

"Put a tea spoon in your mouth

True fact "

This actually works.

Life changing.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

wear a pair of speedo swimming goggles it works but they do tend to steam up a lot..I need to get another pair..

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Like this gran (but I do 3 horizontal slices)

https://youtu.be/dCGS067s0zo"

Yes. That's what I said ....... pffffft.

Gordon must have read what I said.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"wear a pair of speedo swimming goggles it works but they do tend to steam up a lot..I need to get another pair.."

Diving goggles also work! I’ve got a pair I use only for onion chopping.

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

"wear a pair of speedo swimming goggles it works but they do tend to steam up a lot..I need to get another pair..

Diving goggles also work! I’ve got a pair I use only for onion chopping."
Come to think of it I had worn them before in the past when diveing down to 10 feet or more off the spring board at the baths thou I always used them when ever I was in the water so they may have been diveing googles after all.. small and a firm hold around the eyes I realise they were now, ordinary googles are a lot bigger..

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