FabSwingers.com forum: Labels or titles....

By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Why do we need titles/labels?

Cougars, Milf, BBW, BBC, Alpha, Hotwife.

Three of those I could, if i so wished, apply to myself but I really cannot bring myself to do it.

They make me feel all weird and sicky... cringey

Some 'labels' are defining a role such as BDSM terms like cuck, switch, sub and Dom, which of course is a clear definition of a particular dynamic. I get that. That feels right to me.

Each to their own I guess, live and let live and all that... just be aware that if you are applying them to me I would take great exception to you.

I'd just be interested to know how others felt about them?

Are they self applied labels/titles or have others used them to describe you? Do you happily accept that title? Do you go along with it because it seems to be the accepted norm? Or, like me, do you not like them and avoid using them?

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Just me then....

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I’m a big label advocate. How someone labels themselves or not is very telling to me.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

And how people label us sometimes is also telling of a person.

Like BBC and BBW. We don’t use either term so anyone messaging using either or both don’t usually get a good response.

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"I’m a big label advocate. How someone labels themselves or not is very telling to me. "

This is very true... I hadn't looked at it like that

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"And how people label us sometimes is also telling of a person.

Like BBC and BBW. We don’t use either term so anyone messaging using either or both don’t usually get a good response. "

Absolutely get that.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

And my views on labelling of sexuality must be legendary by now, so I won’t bring that up again. Oh oops I just did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont want a label, Im just little old me

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

As Kinky said labels can be useful to define a person their likes/dislikes etc and sum that person up in just a few words, but the danger is they can also detract from the wider picture - for example I could be defined as being a bi submissive (and to a greater or lesser extent I am) but there's a lot more to me than that and it doesn't define my whole, just a part of me.

So they're useful to get an essence of someone but only through expansion of those labels can you truly know what makes someone tick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Labels can be handy as said.

It wouldn't necessarily put me off but how people use words is very telling.

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz"

But does that make them acceptable? Isn't that just going along with the crowd? Plenty of people certainly seem to embrace their particular title... Maybe i just take them too literally... is the BBW really big enough? Really beautiful? The BBC... is he really big? Is that all there is to him?

Should we objectify these men and women like that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?"

If I choose to label myself as BBW, I see that as my choice. If I see it on another profile, I see someone similar to me. To me it is an identifiable recognised term.

Some people look to be offended these days. There is the....I don't like being called hun/babe/love brigade..........it is intended as a local term of affection, not to deliberately offend people.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?"

Lol sorry bit funny what you wrote but true. We don’t actively chase BBC as an example. If that’s the guys selling point, it’s probably not for us. If they want to describe themselves as such then they will attract a certain type.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?

If I choose to label myself as BBW, I see that as my choice. If I see it on another profile, I see someone similar to me. To me it is an identifiable recognised term.

Some people look to be offended these days. There is the....I don't like being called hun/babe/love brigade..........it is intended as a local term of affection, not to deliberately offend people.

And that’s fine if you’re happy with that. If someone calls me a BBW I’m going to be pissed off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think im a larger curvy sexy lady sounds better than bbw etc etc .

all of the abbreviations/saying could be worded to describe oneself nicer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?"

If I was a black man with a big cock I wouldn't call myself a BBC, I'd say I HAVE a BBC

GMan put it well. It gives us all an idea of what to expect, not an exact description. Everything is relative and subjective, a seven inch black cock is considered big in comparison to a five inch, but small to, say, a 9 inch cock.

How else would you describe a woman you find attractive, who you consider 'big' (whereas some others may not)? How would you describe Linford Christie's 'lunch box'?

Surely the labels you disagree with are labeled for your benefit too. You don't like the label, you avoid.

Fuzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Kinky said labels can be useful to define a person their likes/dislikes etc and sum that person up in just a few words, but the danger is they can also detract from the wider picture - for example I could be defined as being a bi submissive (and to a greater or lesser extent I am) but there's a lot more to me than that and it doesn't define my whole, just a part of me.

So they're useful to get an essence of someone but only through expansion of those labels can you truly know what makes someone tick

But the term bi-submissive, clearly identifies to me, if you are vaguely of interest to me, or definitely not. If it was, it would definitely warrant a more in depth chat. To me, it is a helpful key term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?

If I choose to label myself as BBW, I see that as my choice. If I see it on another profile, I see someone similar to me. To me it is an identifiable recognised term.

Some people look to be offended these days. There is the....I don't like being called hun/babe/love brigade..........it is intended as a local term of affection, not to deliberately offend people.

And that’s fine if you’re happy with that. If someone calls me a BBW I’m going to be pissed off. "

I meant what I choose to put on my profile, and what I interpret if written on others

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"The thing about labels is they're handy at identifying things.

Some may not like terms like BBC or BBW but everyone knows exactly what one's talking about if that label is used.

Fuzz

Should we objectify these men and women like that?

If I choose to label myself as BBW, I see that as my choice. If I see it on another profile, I see someone similar to me. To me it is an identifiable recognised term.

Some people look to be offended these days. There is the....I don't like being called hun/babe/love brigade..........it is intended as a local term of affection, not to deliberately offend people.

And that’s fine if you’re happy with that. If someone calls me a BBW I’m going to be pissed off.

I meant what I choose to put on my profile, and what I interpret if written on others

Yes I got you BBW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are not fully happy with your body shape, and feel more overweight than you are happy with. Surely you would be more likely to respond positively to a profile that expresses a preference for BBW's ? Than one that says he seeks someone 'in shape' 'gym fit'? It just says to me he prefers larger/curvier ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are more than the sum of our labels...

So if we define ourselves or others by labels that place us in less than well defined boxes what do we fail to project of who we really are.

Just how big does one have to be to be a BBW or how curvy qualifies as curvy etc.

I am not a label.

I am not a number.

I an human with all the complications that infers.

If you want to label me that's your choice. If you want to know me take the time to find out perhaps then the labels will have less import.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I’m not saying that labels are compulsary!! But taking us for example, most meets would want to know AND might be annoyed at not knowing the following

Sub

Dom

Black

You see profiles with people vehemently not wishing to meet those types, so it’s easier to be up front about it than waste ours and other peoples time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are more than the sum of our labels...

So if we define ourselves or others by labels that place us in less than well defined boxes what do we fail to project of who we really are.

Just how big does one have to be to be a BBW or how curvy qualifies as curvy etc.

I am not a label.

I am not a number.

I an human with all the complications that infers.

If you want to label me that's your choice. If you want to know me take the time to find out perhaps then the labels will have less import.

But you have labelled yourself as tall/straight/slim. What is defined as tall ? defined as slim ? It is what we choose to describe ourselves on our profile, to attract like minded. I don't see it as a 'label', it is my descriptive word I choose to use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab loves a label.

More than a chef loves his ladle.

You could be a guy dressed as a Mabel,

or have a cock that needs it's own table.

It is when you judge by a label,

use you discretion if you are able,

for the truth that you seek,

may be nought but a fable.

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

"We are more than the sum of our labels...

So if we define ourselves or others by labels that place us in less than well defined boxes what do we fail to project of who we really are.

Just how big does one have to be to be a BBW or how curvy qualifies as curvy etc.

I am not a label.

I am not a number.

I an human with all the complications that infers.

If you want to label me that's your choice. If you want to know me take the time to find out perhaps then the labels will have less import.

This exactly

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

People can label me as they like. Doesn’t mean I’ll conform to it - they need to accept that it will at the very least come with caveats!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

So they're useful to get an essence of someone but only through expansion of those labels can you truly know what makes someone tick

And that was my point - labels are useful indicators but they don't define the whole you can only get that through further discussion and understanding.

Whilst I AM a bi submissive it's not ALL I am, it's not all encompassing and the ONLY way I play, I'm only submissive to some and am just as comfortable playing straight as I am bi - which is what I meant about the dangers that can be apparent by labelling it can lead to misunderstanding without further discussion and clarification.

I identify as bisexual on here because I don't hide it and never will for any reason - I don't however declare my submissiveness and prefer to just tick the SM/Spanking interest boxes as an indication that I'd be open to discussing that further, mainly because seeking a Dom/me is not my primary focus here - if it were to happen naturally then that's different

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

We are all really just a set of labels. Labels define who we are. "parent", "doctor" "husband" are just as much labels as BBC and BBW.

What people generally object to is being defined as just one label to the exclusion of all others that define them. On the other hand, on a site like this you will emphasise labels that are important to you in attracting sexual partners. Thus a train spotter with a big cock, will generally embrace the "well endowed" label on here whilst de emphasising the "trainspotter" label.

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By *tonMess OP Couple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

There is no right or wrong... its very much each to their own and live and let live.

I was just interested in others thoughts on the matter.

No need to PM, the forum is here for open discussion.

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