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Inbox politics

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Is it ok to ignore messages that are well contstructed and genuine?

We all avoid the "joined over a year ago but have no pictures or veris" but what about genuine attempts to connect?

Thoughts....

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Point to note...I always reply to a genuine approach

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales


"Is it ok to ignore messages that are well contstructed and genuine?

We all avoid the "joined over a year ago but have no pictures or veris" but what about genuine attempts to connect?

Thoughts...."

If you don't fancy the person, yes.

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Can you always tell that by a profile pic though?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does it matter? If someone doesn't want to respond they won't respond no matter what the message is.

You might see it as rude, they might not.

Everyone has different opinions but they're all free to approach things however they want.

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Yeah I agree...people dont have to reply to anything if they dont want to.

Personally, I extend the courtesy of a reply if someone has made a genuine effort whether or not I am interested in them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My experience has shown me that no matter how well you put your case forward, some folks are just plain lazy and can't be bothered..

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Its a tough gig mate lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can ignore who you like.Its your profile and you do as you please with it x

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Yup Doesnt make you a bad person lol

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By *nfinitylandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

It’s never bothered me as such when someone ignores/deletes the message. I’m just like....’you’re missing out’

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Exactlyyyyyyy mate! Thats the best way to see it if you get papped lol

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By *inky SpiceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Of course it's ok for someone to ignore your message, they didn't ask you to send one. Send your messages and think no more of them unless you get a reply or you'll do your head in with it all.

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

I usually do exactly that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is a " genuine attempt to connect?"

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way."

What I meant was, what you consider ' well constructed' and what the rest of us do, may be entirely different.

Know what I mean?

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

I agree that there is an element of perspective to what people consider as "well constructed", but there is a line in the sand for all to see I think.

For example "Hey hows u?" wouldnt warrant any effort lol

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

Mostly we reply to genuine and well-constructed messages, sometimes to even just “hi”, but we do block single men so the number of messages we get is low. On occasion when we unblock them, we tend to only reply to those that interest us, as there are so many. It’s a bit like unsolicited mail or phone calls...

Having been around the block now, we only actively message when we are looking to meet on a particular date, for example when we organise a party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can you always tell that by a profile pic though?"

Men using pics of women they've fucked puts me off.

I answer to your OP- I think it's rude not to reply when someone has spent time on a message, so I reply to all first messages.

If someone doesn't reply to a decent message then I'd consider them rude and be relieved that I wouldn't be meeting them.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way."

Do you fit what they’re looking for? Sometimes I don’t bother to read a message if it’s from someone outwith my age range so it really doesn’t matter if it’s well constructed or not.

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen


"A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way.

Do you fit what they’re looking for? Sometimes I don’t bother to read a message if it’s from someone outwith my age range so it really doesn’t matter if it’s well constructed or not. "

Not reading is better than not replying I guess

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way.

Do you fit what they’re looking for? Sometimes I don’t bother to read a message if it’s from someone outwith my age range so it really doesn’t matter if it’s well constructed or not.

Not reading is better than not replying I guess"

I think not replying is the best way to deal with messages from people you have no interest in, no matter how well constructed the message.

Implied rejection is generally less hurtful than explicit rejection.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"My experience has shown me that no matter how well you put your case forward, some folks are just plain lazy and can't be bothered.. "

Or don't find you attractive.

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Mmmm im not sure about that but its a matter of opinion. Id rather be kindly told that I am not what someone is looking for than ignored.

But I take your point - the end result is the same

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I state on my profile that I rarely read messages, but I get sent them regardless, if I rarely read them it's even less likely to get a reply. Still get abuse though for not reading or replying. Makes me chuckle.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"A well constructed initial message that isnt copy and pasted, half arsed or offensive in any way.

Do you fit what they’re looking for? Sometimes I don’t bother to read a message if it’s from someone outwith my age range so it really doesn’t matter if it’s well constructed or not.

Not reading is better than not replying I guess"

This is true... whilst you’re too young for me I feel it’s worth saying you do have a lovely bottom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is a " genuine attempt to connect?""

A good right hook?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Can you always tell that by a profile pic though?"

Yes.

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By *othrockercplCouple
over a year ago

Halloween Town

I will ignore/delete any text talk style messages to me, if they persist then I block for a week or two.

Ms GR

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"Yeah I agree...people dont have to reply to anything if they dont want to.

Personally, I extend the courtesy of a reply if someone has made a genuine effort whether or not I am interested in them."

Occasionally I'll reply saying I'm not interested... and then I'll either get asked why and drawn into a dialogue I didn't want to have anyway... or I'll be told I'm a fat ugly old munter and should be grateful anyone would want to talk to me let alone fuck me... and very very rarely someone will just say "ok... thanks for replying" and leave it at that. It may seem like common courtesy to reply to everyone to you.... but for some of is women its just inviting hassle

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We always try to reply to people who have written a decent message and match our preferences.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

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By *ocbigMan
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Yeah I agree...people dont have to reply to anything if they dont want to.

Personally, I extend the courtesy of a reply if someone has made a genuine effort whether or not I am interested in them.

Occasionally I'll reply saying I'm not interested... and then I'll either get asked why and drawn into a dialogue I didn't want to have anyway... or I'll be told I'm a fat ugly old munter and should be grateful anyone would want to talk to me let alone fuck me... and very very rarely someone will just say "ok... thanks for replying" and leave it at that. It may seem like common courtesy to reply to everyone to you.... but for some of is women its just inviting hassle "

Not just women, I have had a couple of replies that go south when I say I am not free at that precise moment...when they initiated the contact. Threatening with physical violence & refusing to believe that I was at work..as I am now.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here. "

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it ok to ignore messages that are well contstructed and genuine?

We all avoid the "joined over a year ago but have no pictures or veris" but what about genuine attempts to connect?

Thoughts...."

Yep

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Ignoring is completely acceptable. If someone doesn't want to talk to you, they don't have to. That said, I possibly would reply if it was a genuinely good message, even if I didn't fancy the sender. Although my new profile is deliberately set to put people off, I did get countless messages on the previous one and its impossible to keep up. Now I wonder just what sort of masochist would proceed based on my odd profile pic and grumpy wording

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here. "

Well that’s not actually true. I’m sure even you’d agree that you don’t have to respond to someone catcalling or approaching to chat you up when you’re just going about your business - if it’s unsolicited and unwanted, then actually it could be the person forcing their agenda on the other, however polite they feel they’re doing it, that could be considered rude.

It’s subjective, the whole thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of messages as junk emails. You don’t reply to them all do you?

They may be well-constructed, polite and even very attractive offers, but if it isn’t what you want then, you hit delete and in some cases unsubscribe.

If you think of the messages you send like that, then don’t worry if lots of them fall on stony ground. It is exactly the same as any other unsolicited maerketing attempt.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable. "

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

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By *rofessional Deviant OP   Man
over a year ago

Rutherglen

Great to hear so many views from accross the Fab world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it "

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness. "

There is such a thing as targeted marketing.

Companies will send us emails based on our known tastes telling us about products they think will interest us. That's no different from someone sending a message on here where they think we will suit them.

Anywhere, we clearly say on our profile that we don't reply if we aren't interested. If someone thinks that's rude, they won't message us. If they do, they can hardly complain if we aren't interested and don't reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My experience has shown me that no matter how well you put your case forward, some folks are just plain lazy and can't be bothered.. "

Not necessarily lazy and can't be bothered... Sometimes don't have time to read and reply on fab when real life / work and family "gets in the way"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here. "

Nonsense, if someone e.g. a chugger tries to flag you down in real life it is not rude to ignore them. Nor is it rude to not acknowledge the nutter shouting at you through the bus window.

Of course if there is only one person it's fine to say sorry not interested, but if there are 50 between you and your Greg's pasty lunch, ignoring them is the best policy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness.

There is such a thing as targeted marketing.

Companies will send us emails based on our known tastes telling us about products they think will interest us. That's no different from someone sending a message on here where they think we will suit them.

Anywhere, we clearly say on our profile that we don't reply if we aren't interested. If someone thinks that's rude, they won't message us. If they do, they can hardly complain if we aren't interested and don't reply. "

I fully agree with your last point. If someone specifically states on their profile that they only reply if interested, then they have set the parameters for their solicitation and if people choose to message it is on that basis.

I do though disagree with the first part of what you said. Just because a company knows enough about you in order to approach you does not mean you advertised for or solicited that approach in any way.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness. "

According to the site FAQs it's not rude and by my own personal reckoning it's not rude either - and who is the one to decide if someone fits the criteria laid out anyway? The sender or the recipient? I've had enough messages from people that very obviously do not fit my criteria to know that in innumerable cases the sender is not the one!!

If you want to look at a profile as an advert soliciting messages then the junk mail thing still applies - I may well put out there that I'm looking for new double glazing but I'll still only reply to the messages I get from companies that interest me - same thing applies here.

As I said though, regardless of anything it's the way of Fab - you either like it or lump it - moaning about it won't change a single thing

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness.

There is such a thing as targeted marketing.

Companies will send us emails based on our known tastes telling us about products they think will interest us. That's no different from someone sending a message on here where they think we will suit them.

Anywhere, we clearly say on our profile that we don't reply if we aren't interested. If someone thinks that's rude, they won't message us. If they do, they can hardly complain if we aren't interested and don't reply.

I fully agree with your last point. If someone specifically states on their profile that they only reply if interested, then they have set the parameters for their solicitation and if people choose to message it is on that basis.

I do though disagree with the first part of what you said. Just because a company knows enough about you in order to approach you does not mean you advertised for or solicited that approach in any way."

It's in the FAQ that no reply means no thanks. Hence in joining the site, you implicitly agree to proceed on that basis.

It could therefore be said that those demanding replies contrary to the site rules are the rude ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all know what's rude and what isnt.

Rude people don't care so threads like this fall on deaf ears.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness. "

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Think about this...

Every day you get leaflets and cards through your door at home. Some may be a photocopied flyer for the local church sale, others glossy coloured menus for Dominos (other pizza outlets are available).

Do you respond to them all? Do you call Dominos, thank them for their menu but explain that tonight you will be having curry?

Of course you dont.

Do they complain?

Now, when messaging here....

The two P's first: Profile and Pictures. Does your profile create the first impression you want to create? Are you just a cock pic? Be positive and upbeat. Sell yourself.

Next your first message: Put some thought into it but keep it brief. Show that you have read their profile and understood it. Once you have hit that send button forget about it. Dont look to see if its been read. Leave it. If you get a reply great, dont spoil it now, keep that initial effort up.

And the final P: Patience. You need lots!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It dosnt matter who considers it rude or not. Completely ignoring some IS rude.... If someone approached you in real life and you ignored them it's rude no difference here.

It's an unsolicited approach. Ignoring is completely acceptable.

This

Putting aside the ignorant and rude approaches (which I'd ignore whether they were on here or in "real life" regardless) there's a world of difference between getting approached on here and in real life and on here it's no different from all the junk/spam mail that we get in our inboxes/through our letter box at home that it's perfectly acceptable to ignore.

And it's very easy for all the single males here, that get a minimal number of messages to say "Well I reply to all messages I get regardless" - for starters the minimal number of messages you get make it easier to reply to them all. Add to that that most women would never send the kind of messages some men think it's acceptable to send, so the likelihood of wanting to reply is increased. Yes, filters can help reduce the number of messages ladies receive but they're then left with the dilemma of completely filtering so they get nothing or allowing men which meet certain criteria through which will still see a higher number of messages than the average single male.

So no it's not rude to ignore at all - it's a part of Fab life, like it or lump it

I disagree with you. It is rude.

By putting a profile up we are all advertising. If someone fitting your advertised criteria responds to your advert in a respectful way it is rude to ignore them. You have canvassed or solicitated responses to your advert.

Spam and junk mail are totally different. They are not sent as a result of marketing yourself, they are unsolicited.

Messages on here are not unsolicited. The only ones that are is when a profile clearly states that they do not want messages or when those messages clearly ignore profile requirements.

Rude people will always hide behind excuses for their rudeness.

There is such a thing as targeted marketing.

Companies will send us emails based on our known tastes telling us about products they think will interest us. That's no different from someone sending a message on here where they think we will suit them.

Anywhere, we clearly say on our profile that we don't reply if we aren't interested. If someone thinks that's rude, they won't message us. If they do, they can hardly complain if we aren't interested and don't reply.

I fully agree with your last point. If someone specifically states on their profile that they only reply if interested, then they have set the parameters for their solicitation and if people choose to message it is on that basis.

I do though disagree with the first part of what you said. Just because a company knows enough about you in order to approach you does not mean you advertised for or solicited that approach in any way.

It's in the FAQ that no reply means no thanks. Hence in joining the site, you implicitly agree to proceed on that basis.

It could therefore be said that those demanding replies contrary to the site rules are the rude ones. "

Absolutely this.

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