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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() Can be awkward but like most things gets easier with practice! | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too ![]() | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() Yes. Hi, latte and look, not happening right, yes latte...to go ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() No I have tea, coffee, etc and say at the end I've really enjoyed meeting but don't feel a spark so won't be taking things further. (Appropriately tailored to the person/situation). | |||
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"Wow making up for lost time OP? I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. " It's been a while since a new meet and so been looking the past few weeks. It just pours at times lol. That I've no experience of as I don't arrange a coffee unless I'm 100 % sure there's a good connection. Gut feeling has never been wrong so far. | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Brutal lol. I take it you don't travel far for a coffee meet then ![]() | |||
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"Wow making up for lost time OP? I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. It's been a while since a new meet and so been looking the past few weeks. It just pours at times lol. That I've no experience of as I don't arrange a coffee unless I'm 100 % sure there's a good connection. Gut feeling has never been wrong so far." I arrange a meet when I’ve been speaking to someone for a while and decided I like them as a person even if I’m not quite sure if I find them physically attractive. Most of the time they have been even better in person and we have gone further. A couple of times I have just not felt that spark in person. At least I tried though. ![]() | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() I still dont think I could be so upfront . I need to learn more social skills ![]() | |||
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"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further ![]() ![]() I would usually say, "Thank you for a lovely time, I'll message you later"... then tell them in the message. I told someone once in person and he completely kicked off. I wouldn't do that again ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() That's when you know it's a good social ![]() | |||
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"Wow making up for lost time OP? I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. " That's why I stopped doing coffee meets and done drive bys instead. Would meet in the KFC car park 5 mins up the motorway, get a krushum from the drive through and invite them to sit in my car for a bit. | |||
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"I have 3 coffee meets this next week. I've only had 5 in 2 years as most my meets have been straight play meets. What's the hardest part of a coffee meet, arranging where is suitable to meet, your opening line, how long do you give yourself in your day. I still get nervous before a coffee and this week I'll be wrecked." its being brave is the hardest i would to be upfront i would it harder on here when searching. LOL ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yep. ![]() | |||
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"I dont like socials. Id rather video chat with someone and then know we both want to meet. Id hate to waste anyones time (or my own time)." I hate those...Did one, felt so self conscious and uncomfortable. Never again. I skip over those who have lots of video veris ![]() | |||
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"Wow making up for lost time OP? I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. That's why I stopped doing coffee meets and done drive bys instead. Would meet in the KFC car park 5 mins up the motorway, get a krushum from the drive through and invite them to sit in my car for a bit. " Awkward if they fumbled and stained your upholstery... | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ? Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back . | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() But it would take at least five hours for you to tell me all about what you’ve got up to sexually ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't you understand what it's like to want to spend time with someone? Surely you must have at least one friend? I'd feel really shit if my partner just wanted to fuck random strangers all the time and not want to spend any time with me. Glad it works for you. ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I have coffee socials with my brothers , my father , and many of my friends . But I don’t want to fuck any of them ..... I guess the thing is that we have each other to spend quality time with , and having a stranger in our company for more than a couple of hours would grate on us . We know within ten minutes if the people we meet when swinging are people we want to play with . If we do , we move quickly on to flirting and teasing for a bit , then onto the proper fun . If not we say so and move on .... I would also feel shit if my partner wanted to fuck random strangers all the time , and not want to spend time with me . Fortunately that’s far from the case ( we go out once a week to swing ) ... hence why we don’t spend 5 hours on a social .... we could get five good play meets done and dusted in that time ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before? ![]() | |||
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"That was bad grammar......I hate it when they put me on the spot and ask what I think, especially when I know I don't want to see them again! ! ![]() ![]() Same...I usually give a mumbled thanks for meeting me but I don't want to take it further, smile and run!!!! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() We could chat about football too , and make it a six hour social ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A couple of messages , a pic or two and on to the meet . Nothing set in stone that we will play unless we click but that doesn’t long to work out ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You're loads better at it than me though. I'd get 5 play meets done in 15 minutes. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them? | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() If i was having foreplay on a social id want the sex too so it wouldnt be a social anymore. ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Perfect ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() So you wouldn't have a social with someone you found attractive,I thought you found it hard to meet on here? I like a social especially with someone you found hugely attractive,just so long as the follow up meet isn't age's away. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That makes good sense. I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway. We're all different. ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() But you still can't be 100% sure you want sex with them until you've actually clapped eye's on them surely? | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That makes more sense to me,I'd worry if after spending months chatting to someone that we didn't feel that attraction in the flesh,it's too much pressure. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I can't say I'm ever completely 100%... and they always agree that if we aren't as attracted in the flesh then we'll just play scrabble and have a drink... but that has never happened in 6 years, so I trust my instinct impeccably. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() For you maybe. It works for me. And I don't ever feel pressured. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Finding someone I want to drink coffee with. I prefer to go straight to the sex. I don't mind a drink or two before the sex. " ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() See I think we approach the whole of fab differently. I don't start chatting thinking I'm going to meet this person. I don't only chat with one guy at a time. I'm not looking for the one. I chat. If we click whilst chatting I'll consider meeting. They know how I work from the off so it takes a certain type of person to preserve with me. I think that makes it successful. There is never any pressure on anyone. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Would you do things differently if you were single do you think,or are socials just not your thing? I just wonder if socials are more a single person thing. | |||
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"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing" I would agree ![]() | |||
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"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing" I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. | |||
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"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. " That’s a fair point too .... ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That's fine if it goes that well. My socials have invariably turned into at least a snog and heated fumble with the promise of more, but they always start as a social......... ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab. | |||
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"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. " I don't think they are any more safe as you rightly say. One can behave for an hr... Then easily take advantage on the next meet. If true safety is a concern then far more needs to be put in place to genuinely find out who and what the other person us really like and that would involve history. So I'd say it's more a placebo type if safety having a coffee with someone that any reality of knowing they are really safe to be with. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2 weeks! We plan our playtime a good 3 to 4 weeks ahead, if not more! | |||
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"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. I don't think they are any more safe as you rightly say. One can behave for an hr... Then easily take advantage on the next meet. If true safety is a concern then far more needs to be put in place to genuinely find out who and what the other person us really like and that would involve history. So I'd say it's more a placebo type if safety having a coffee with someone that any reality of knowing they are really safe to be with." Yeah but a guy could be a nutter but keep that controlled until he feels embarrassed/humiliated or rejected. Meeting someone for a coffee first before committing to sex would establish attraction in the flesh so when you a arrange to meet for sex you'll actually want sex and won't run the risk of rejecting him or hurting his ego. | |||
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"Just say beforehand you're not giving a yay or nay at the meet. Everyone's entitled to reflect a bit. And agree to PM afterwards." I keep forgetting to do that.... ![]() | |||
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"I don’t like coffee or wine ![]() Order tea or cola..tisn’t complicated ![]() | |||
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"I think 'coffee meet' has become a generic term. Anywhere public by mutual consent will do. I always offer the lady her choice of meeting venue so she feels more comfortable. Only once have I had a lady invite me directly to her house on the first meet." I think coffee meet has become generic to Fab, because meeting in a pub for a drink is too ‘date’ like for some people’s liking. I know that if I were to agree to a coffee meet, then the whole purpose is purely to check whether we want to have sex, and that the next meet would purely be for sexual purposes. I would hate that. Mrs | |||
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"I think 'coffee meet' has become a generic term. Anywhere public by mutual consent will do. I always offer the lady her choice of meeting venue so she feels more comfortable. Only once have I had a lady invite me directly to her house on the first meet." This. Coffee=drink maybe a pastery or could be lunch... its basically another word for a social meet. Others may view it diferently I guess. | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Is that 2 weeks from the very first message to meeting in person. Im more 2 months+ ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yes for anyone within 50 miles. I have made a couple of exceptions for those much further but those are rare. My experience has shown it generally ends at a dead end after lots of messaging, interest fizzles out after a few weeks of chat and it's all been time lost. A bit like someone above said for them a coffee meet is wasted play time. More than two weeks of chat is plenty of time to arrange a meet. Another reason is if it takes more time than that then repeat meets which is what I do wouldn't work with me if it takes longer than two weeks to meet. | |||
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"Our experience is the total opposite. We’ve never had a no show and with the exception of 1, all of our Fab meets have led to play and repeat meets. We get our diaries out and find the first mutually convenient date and stick to it. Never been a problem. Mrs " Reading through you veris which are shown would indicate that many are through house parties that you throw so that would make a lot of sense. The individual meets seem to be most men and I'd probably be correct in saying most men would be willing to wait 3 or 4 or more weeks to meet. I only meet single ladies or ladies with husbands knowledge, and they tend not to want to wait for 1 2 1 meets for too long. I tend to like to build up the trust and anticipation and tease and there is only so long one can do that before the cusp is reached. There are some that love being chased and chased, those I tend to let run on ahead in the horizon as they'll have a few chasers after them. | |||
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"Our experience is the total opposite. We’ve never had a no show and with the exception of 1, all of our Fab meets have led to play and repeat meets. We get our diaries out and find the first mutually convenient date and stick to it. Never been a problem. Mrs Reading through you veris which are shown would indicate that many are through house parties that you throw so that would make a lot of sense. The individual meets seem to be most men and I'd probably be correct in saying most men would be willing to wait 3 or 4 or more weeks to meet. I only meet single ladies or ladies with husbands knowledge, and they tend not to want to wait for 1 2 1 meets for too long. I tend to like to build up the trust and anticipation and tease and there is only so long one can do that before the cusp is reached. There are some that love being chased and chased, those I tend to let run on ahead in the horizon as they'll have a few chasers after them." I think there has been 9 guys in 3 and half years using Fab that we have met privately - 3 a year I guess. Don’t think it’s a case of them being prepared to wait, more of a case that our child care commitments were respected. I would be upset if we connected with someone, gave them some dates of availability, and they passed us by simply because those dates were 3 or 4 weeks ahead. It’s not like we’d be restricting them having fun with others in the mean time. And we’ve never let anyone down. So I’m just surprised from this thread that an inability to commit in a more timely manner would be considered a deal breaker for some people. | |||
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