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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have 3 coffee meets this next week. I've only had 5 in 2 years as most my meets have been straight play meets.

What's the hardest part of a coffee meet, arranging where is suitable to meet, your opening line, how long do you give yourself in your day.

I still get nervous before a coffee and this week I'll be wrecked.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Wow making up for lost time OP?

I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would find the hardest part of a coffee meet drinking the coffee, hate the stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love meeting people for coffee and don't find it hard at all. Perhaps a different type of social would suit you better, e.g. pub?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further "

Can be awkward but like most things gets easier with practice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further "

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too "

Yes.

Hi, latte and look, not happening right, yes latte...to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too "

No I have tea, coffee, etc and say at the end I've really enjoyed meeting but don't feel a spark so won't be taking things further. (Appropriately tailored to the person/situation).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wow making up for lost time OP?

I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. "

It's been a while since a new meet and so been looking the past few weeks. It just pours at times lol.

That I've no experience of as I don't arrange a coffee unless I'm 100 % sure there's a good connection. Gut feeling has never been wrong so far.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too

Yes.

Hi, latte and look, not happening right, yes latte...to go "

Brutal lol.

I take it you don't travel far for a coffee meet then

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Hardest part is if he asks if you want another one and you've already burnt your tongue because you know it won't be going any further!!

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The initial getting in there and saying hello. I’m not very good socially so it’s a struggle for me. This is why i always opted to meet chatty Cathys.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull


"Wow making up for lost time OP?

I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further.

It's been a while since a new meet and so been looking the past few weeks. It just pours at times lol.

That I've no experience of as I don't arrange a coffee unless I'm 100 % sure there's a good connection. Gut feeling has never been wrong so far."

I arrange a meet when I’ve been speaking to someone for a while and decided I like them as a person even if I’m not quite sure if I find them physically attractive. Most of the time they have been even better in person and we have gone further. A couple of times I have just not felt that spark in person. At least I tried though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too

Yes.

Hi, latte and look, not happening right, yes latte...to go "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too

No I have tea, coffee, etc and say at the end I've really enjoyed meeting but don't feel a spark so won't be taking things further. (Appropriately tailored to the person/situation)."

I still dont think I could be so upfront . I need to learn more social skills

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Glad I,m not the only one, stuff the coffee, mines a Hendricks please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont like socials. Id rather video chat with someone and then know we both want to meet. Id hate to waste anyones time (or my own time).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't like the social meets when I have to tell I won't be wanting to take it any further

Do you have to tell them straight away. I would find that hard too "

I would usually say, "Thank you for a lovely time, I'll message you later"... then tell them in the message. I told someone once in person and he completely kicked off. I wouldn't do that again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine "

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours! "

That's when you know it's a good social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don’t like them, I just block all contact as soon as I’ve left them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow making up for lost time OP?

I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further. "

That's why I stopped doing coffee meets and done drive bys instead. Would meet in the KFC car park 5 mins up the motorway, get a krushum from the drive through and invite them to sit in my car for a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have 3 coffee meets this next week. I've only had 5 in 2 years as most my meets have been straight play meets.

What's the hardest part of a coffee meet, arranging where is suitable to meet, your opening line, how long do you give yourself in your day.

I still get nervous before a coffee and this week I'll be wrecked."

its being brave is the hardest i would to be upfront i would it harder on here when searching. LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless there are very positive signs I would leave it at 'You don't have to make a decision now. Have a think about it and message me. I'm a big boy and I'm not going to throw a hissy fit if you just want to stay friends that chat...or not even that.'

On my very few excursions, I have fortunately always had positive signs.........

I think you can tell if it's going well, and if it isn't, why make it difficult for people? That said I've usually chatted for quite some time before getting as far as a social....I'm kind of picky....

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I much prefer to meet over a pot of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social "

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I dont like socials. Id rather video chat with someone and then know we both want to meet. Id hate to waste anyones time (or my own time)."

I hate those...Did one, felt so self conscious and uncomfortable. Never again. I skip over those who have lots of video veris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow making up for lost time OP?

I find the hardest part of a coffee meet is drawing it to a finish if you know you don’t want to take it further.

That's why I stopped doing coffee meets and done drive bys instead. Would meet in the KFC car park 5 mins up the motorway, get a krushum from the drive through and invite them to sit in my car for a bit. "

Awkward if they fumbled and stained your upholstery...

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

The hardest part I find about coffee social meets is for those to actually turn up on the day. Normally they go awol a few days before and disappear in to the darkness of Fab.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 04/03/18 18:36:18]

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

That was bad grammar......I hate it when they put me on the spot and ask what I think, especially when I know I don't want to see them again! !

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep. "

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

"

But it would take at least five hours for you to tell me all about what you’ve got up to sexually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

"

Don't you understand what it's like to want to spend time with someone? Surely you must have at least one friend?

I'd feel really shit if my partner just wanted to fuck random strangers all the time and not want to spend any time with me. Glad it works for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And it was supposed to be a , not a

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By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

Just say beforehand you're not giving a yay or nay at the meet. Everyone's entitled to reflect a bit. And agree to PM afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't bother personally. That would solve the problem

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

Don't you understand what it's like to want to spend time with someone? Surely you must have at least one friend?

I'd feel really shit if my partner just wanted to fuck random strangers all the time and not want to spend any time with me. Glad it works for you. "

I have coffee socials with my brothers , my father , and many of my friends . But I don’t want to fuck any of them .....

I guess the thing is that we have each other to spend quality time with , and having a stranger in our company for more than a couple of hours would grate on us . We know within ten minutes if the people we meet when swinging are people we want to play with . If we do , we move quickly on to flirting and teasing for a bit , then onto the proper fun . If not we say so and move on ....

I would also feel shit if my partner wanted to fuck random strangers all the time , and not want to spend time with me . Fortunately that’s far from the case ( we go out once a week to swing ) ... hence why we don’t spend 5 hours on a social .... we could get five good play meets done and dusted in that time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

"

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"That was bad grammar......I hate it when they put me on the spot and ask what I think, especially when I know I don't want to see them again! ! "

Same...I usually give a mumbled thanks for meeting me but I don't want to take it further, smile and run!!!!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

But it would take at least five hours for you to tell me all about what you’ve got up to sexually "

We could chat about football too , and make it a six hour social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before? "

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before? "

A couple of messages , a pic or two and on to the meet . Nothing set in stone that we will play unless we click but that doesn’t long to work out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

Don't you understand what it's like to want to spend time with someone? Surely you must have at least one friend?

I'd feel really shit if my partner just wanted to fuck random strangers all the time and not want to spend any time with me. Glad it works for you.

I have coffee socials with my brothers , my father , and many of my friends . But I don’t want to fuck any of them .....

I guess the thing is that we have each other to spend quality time with , and having a stranger in our company for more than a couple of hours would grate on us . We know within ten minutes if the people we meet when swinging are people we want to play with . If we do , we move quickly on to flirting and teasing for a bit , then onto the proper fun . If not we say so and move on ....

I would also feel shit if my partner wanted to fuck random strangers all the time , and not want to spend time with me . Fortunately that’s far from the case ( we go out once a week to swing ) ... hence why we don’t spend 5 hours on a social .... we could get five good play meets done and dusted in that time "

You're loads better at it than me though. I'd get 5 play meets done in 15 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee. "

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee. "

If i was having foreplay on a social id want the sex too so it wouldnt be a social anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm shocking meeting new people but would have no problem with a coffee meet. You can make it as quick or slow as you like. Don't ever be concerned about telling anyone there will not be a second meet. The beauty of this site is you are not obliged to do anything you don't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?"

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

But it would take at least five hours for you to tell me all about what you’ve got up to sexually

We could chat about football too , and make it a six hour social "

Perfect

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

"

So you wouldn't have a social with someone you found attractive,I thought you found it hard to meet on here?

I like a social especially with someone you found hugely attractive,just so long as the follow up meet isn't age's away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee. "

That makes good sense.

I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway.

We're all different.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee. "

But you still can't be 100% sure you want sex with them until you've actually clapped eye's on them surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At xmas time when I was flat out meeting a couple of guys each evening trying to take my attention away from that guy I was pining over, none of the guys I was feeling so ended up just moaning about that guy to them. That made it easier for for me to end the meet and they probably left thinking they had a lucky escape!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

That makes good sense.

I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway.

We're all different. "

That makes more sense to me,I'd worry if after spending months chatting to someone that we didn't feel that attraction in the flesh,it's too much pressure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

But you still can't be 100% sure you want sex with them until you've actually clapped eye's on them surely?"

I can't say I'm ever completely 100%... and they always agree that if we aren't as attracted in the flesh then we'll just play scrabble and have a drink... but that has never happened in 6 years, so I trust my instinct impeccably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

That makes good sense.

I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway.

We're all different.

That makes more sense to me,I'd worry if after spending months chatting to someone that we didn't feel that attraction in the flesh,it's too much pressure."

For you maybe. It works for me. And I don't ever feel pressured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bring breathmints to a coffee meet.

Please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

That makes good sense.

I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway.

We're all different.

That makes more sense to me,I'd worry if after spending months chatting to someone that we didn't feel that attraction in the flesh,it's too much pressure."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding someone I want to drink coffee with. I prefer to go straight to the sex. I don't mind a drink or two before the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Finding someone I want to drink coffee with. I prefer to go straight to the sex. I don't mind a drink or two before the sex. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

That makes good sense.

I prefer a social within a week of first chatting to see if we're compatible. So I'm not wasting precious time chatting for weeks, just 20 minutes for a coffee that I would have been having anyway.

We're all different.

That makes more sense to me,I'd worry if after spending months chatting to someone that we didn't feel that attraction in the flesh,it's too much pressure."

See I think we approach the whole of fab differently. I don't start chatting thinking I'm going to meet this person. I don't only chat with one guy at a time. I'm not looking for the one. I chat. If we click whilst chatting I'll consider meeting. They know how I work from the off so it takes a certain type of person to preserve with me. I think that makes it successful. There is never any pressure on anyone.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

Between weeks and months. It depends on how we get on and how free both our diaries are. I don't agree to meet until I am sure about them. I don't meet anyone local so it does make social meets nigh on impossible as I don't get a lot of free time. I'd rather meet someone I'm sure about for sex than someone I'm not sure about for coffee.

But you still can't be 100% sure you want sex with them until you've actually clapped eye's on them surely?

I can't say I'm ever completely 100%... and they always agree that if we aren't as attracted in the flesh then we'll just play scrabble and have a drink... but that has never happened in 6 years, so I trust my instinct impeccably. "

Would you do things differently if you were single do you think,or are socials just not your thing?

I just wonder if socials are more a single person thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing"

I would agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing"

I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing

I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. "

That’s a fair point too ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

If i was having foreplay on a social id want the sex too so it wouldnt be a social anymore. "

That's fine if it goes that well. My socials have invariably turned into at least a snog and heated fumble with the promise of more, but they always start as a social.........

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?"

I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing

I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer. "

I don't think they are any more safe as you rightly say. One can behave for an hr... Then easily take advantage on the next meet. If true safety is a concern then far more needs to be put in place to genuinely find out who and what the other person us really like and that would involve history. So I'd say it's more a placebo type if safety having a coffee with someone that any reality of knowing they are really safe to be with.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Turning up. Not sure i could do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never had a coffee meet so wouldn’t know. Relaxing pub meet over a few glasses of wine is far more likely to get me in the mood than a cup of coffee. Never understood why a coffee seems to be the prelude to sex on Fab.

Mrs

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I don’t like coffee or wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab."

2 weeks! We plan our playtime a good 3 to 4 weeks ahead, if not more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think from a purely safety point of view, socials are more likely to be a single person thing

I still don't get how meeting for a social has any bearing on safety. Surely even nutcases know how to behave in public? I guess I kind of meet publicly as my meets are in hotels. I'm not convinced meeting for coffee makes it any safer.

I don't think they are any more safe as you rightly say. One can behave for an hr... Then easily take advantage on the next meet. If true safety is a concern then far more needs to be put in place to genuinely find out who and what the other person us really like and that would involve history. So I'd say it's more a placebo type if safety having a coffee with someone that any reality of knowing they are really safe to be with."

Yeah but a guy could be a nutter but keep that controlled until he feels embarrassed/humiliated or rejected.

Meeting someone for a coffee first before committing to sex would establish attraction in the flesh so when you a arrange to meet for sex you'll actually want sex and won't run the risk of rejecting him or hurting his ego.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Just say beforehand you're not giving a yay or nay at the meet. Everyone's entitled to reflect a bit. And agree to PM afterwards."

I keep forgetting to do that....

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"I don’t like coffee or wine "

Order tea or cola..tisn’t complicated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 'coffee meet' has become a generic term. Anywhere public by mutual consent will do. I always offer the lady her choice of meeting venue so she feels more comfortable. Only once have I had a lady invite me directly to her house on the first meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think 'coffee meet' has become a generic term. Anywhere public by mutual consent will do. I always offer the lady her choice of meeting venue so she feels more comfortable. Only once have I had a lady invite me directly to her house on the first meet."

I think coffee meet has become generic to Fab, because meeting in a pub for a drink is too ‘date’ like for some people’s liking. I know that if I were to agree to a coffee meet, then the whole purpose is purely to check whether we want to have sex, and that the next meet would purely be for sexual purposes. I would hate that.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think 'coffee meet' has become a generic term. Anywhere public by mutual consent will do. I always offer the lady her choice of meeting venue so she feels more comfortable. Only once have I had a lady invite me directly to her house on the first meet."

This. Coffee=drink maybe a pastery or could be lunch... its basically another word for a social meet. Others may view it diferently I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab."

Same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab."

Is that 2 weeks from the very first message to meeting in person. Im more 2 months+

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I only have coffee with existing friends on Fab. Even they can turn into a comedy sketch, don’t meet anywhere there is a time restriction for parking. Although you’d have thought 3 hours would have been fine

Last coffee meet I had I got a parking ticket. Thought I'd only be an hour. ...5 hours!

That's when you know it's a good social

Yep.

That would have been a nightmare come true ... a 5 hour social ?

Anyway , so glad we don’t do socials , coffee or otherwise ..... I mean that’s time you’ll never get back .

No build up and foreplay or is that done in messages and txt before?

There are other ways to build up to a meet without spending precious time having coffee.

How long do you spend chatting to people before you meet them?

I give 2 weeks now to arrange a meet. My experience has shown after that time it fizzles out interest seems to be lost and rarely happens....Too much eye candy in the shop windows on show here on fab.

Is that 2 weeks from the very first message to meeting in person. Im more 2 months+ "

Yes for anyone within 50 miles. I have made a couple of exceptions for those much further but those are rare.

My experience has shown it generally ends at a dead end after lots of messaging, interest fizzles out after a few weeks of chat and it's all been time lost. A bit like someone above said for them a coffee meet is wasted play time. More than two weeks of chat is plenty of time to arrange a meet. Another reason is if it takes more time than that then repeat meets which is what I do wouldn't work with me if it takes longer than two weeks to meet.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'm the same as the OP, if I get talking to someone and we get on, want to meet but not able to arrange something within a couple of weeks due to 'life', I find that things fizzle off and it often never happens. On the other hand I don't want to be getting a diary out and saying 'I can fit you in three weeks on Sunday'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our experience is the total opposite. We’ve never had a no show and with the exception of 1, all of our Fab meets have led to play and repeat meets. We get our diaries out and find the first mutually convenient date and stick to it. Never been a problem.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Our experience is the total opposite. We’ve never had a no show and with the exception of 1, all of our Fab meets have led to play and repeat meets. We get our diaries out and find the first mutually convenient date and stick to it. Never been a problem.

Mrs "

Reading through you veris which are shown would indicate that many are through house parties that you throw so that would make a lot of sense. The individual meets seem to be most men and I'd probably be correct in saying most men would be willing to wait 3 or 4 or more weeks to meet. I only meet single ladies or ladies with husbands knowledge, and they tend not to want to wait for 1 2 1 meets for too long.

I tend to like to build up the trust and anticipation and tease and there is only so long one can do that before the cusp is reached. There are some that love being chased and chased, those I tend to let run on ahead in the horizon as they'll have a few chasers after them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Our experience is the total opposite. We’ve never had a no show and with the exception of 1, all of our Fab meets have led to play and repeat meets. We get our diaries out and find the first mutually convenient date and stick to it. Never been a problem.

Mrs

Reading through you veris which are shown would indicate that many are through house parties that you throw so that would make a lot of sense. The individual meets seem to be most men and I'd probably be correct in saying most men would be willing to wait 3 or 4 or more weeks to meet. I only meet single ladies or ladies with husbands knowledge, and they tend not to want to wait for 1 2 1 meets for too long.

I tend to like to build up the trust and anticipation and tease and there is only so long one can do that before the cusp is reached. There are some that love being chased and chased, those I tend to let run on ahead in the horizon as they'll have a few chasers after them."

I think there has been 9 guys in 3 and half years using Fab that we have met privately - 3 a year I guess. Don’t think it’s a case of them being prepared to wait, more of a case that our child care commitments were respected. I would be upset if we connected with someone, gave them some dates of availability, and they passed us by simply because those dates were 3 or 4 weeks ahead. It’s not like we’d be restricting them having fun with others in the mean time. And we’ve never let anyone down. So I’m just surprised from this thread that an inability to commit in a more timely manner would be considered a deal breaker for some people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well just had what can only be called a very special 'coffee' with a feisty, cheeky Sub. Well worth spending over 2 hrs with her. Not a kiss or touch was exchanged till parted.

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