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A marathon of crime is finally over where I live

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By *aughtynigel02121980 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brandon

Isn't Karma wondrous?!

There's been a spate of breaking and enterings in my village over the last few months and the Police have not been able to get any clues other than this blokes name is Carl..... The bizarre thing about all this is that nothing is ever stolen and all this prick does is place a few bricks in the washing machine and put it on a full cycle!!??...... However, this morning, this chaps body was found in an alley, apparently an overdose did for him....

The Police have said the case is closed, and washing machines should now last longer with Carl gone!!!

??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey? "

For real?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP needs a new joke writer methinks

Its all in the delivery mate

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Tell me that is virtue signalling in its purest most wondrous form.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?"

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live longer, i had to sing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good OP! In my defence it’s late and I’ve been poorly! Yeah, that’ll be it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!! "

.... Burt Reynolds toupee??

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!! "

I know I shouldn't at the dazed and confuddled but you not getting it did make me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

I know I shouldn't at the dazed and confuddled but you not getting it did make me .

"

It’s my age ..

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

I know I shouldn't at the dazed and confuddled but you not getting it did make me .

It’s my age .. "

I'm almost a decade older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

I know I shouldn't at the dazed and confuddled but you not getting it did make me .

It’s my age ..

I'm almost a decade older. "

Ah but you still have all your marbles! After 11pm I lose mine these days!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

I know I shouldn't at the dazed and confuddled but you not getting it did make me .

It’s my age ..

I'm almost a decade older.

Ah but you still have all your marbles! After 11pm I lose mine these days! "

The police confiscated my marbles at the security check in to Downing Street.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!! "

Holy shit! I've literally seen it all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

Holy shit! I've literally seen it all! "

I meant to tie the belt on my dressing gown!

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"Well it’s actually quite a sad story and I don’t think the death of a chap with obvious problems is ‘wondrous’

It’s a shame he didn’t get the chance to turn his life around, I’m sure his family are devasted.

Still at least your washing machine will be ok hey?

For real?

Oh Fuck! Doh!!! Hey it’s late!!

Holy shit! I've literally seen it all!

I meant to tie the belt on my dressing gown! "

No you ditn't!

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