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Single M's asking partner if 'She wants to play'

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By *ruckingCouple94 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me! "

I don't like this attitude for the same reason I don't like the term sharing.

It must be difficult for single men because some guys would get angry if they weren't consulted. Best solution in my opinion is to approach as a couple and if you can't do that approach the woman and ask what their preferred way of doing things is.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Ever thought they don't want to offend so are asking permission rather than it being that he owns you.

More a mark of respect maybe?

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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago

North Cambs


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me! "

I have very seldom been to clubs except for prearranged meets, however, when I have, I always believed that as a single male it was normal/respectful to always wait for couples to engage with me first and certainly for THEM to propose moving things to the next level.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Not sure how it can be a mark of respect by not asking the person you are interested in.

Surely you speak to both and if things are going well, then ask if they okay separately.

Nita

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

*play

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me! "

Yes sadly, seem to miss the point that I decide who I'm playing with. Thankfully the guys we've played with have chatted to us both and asked me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said a single guy can’t win - ask the lady direct and they’ll be criticised for ignoring the Male, ask Male and it’s disrespectful to the ladies.

I suppose the best approach is to ask the Male if he would be ok if you asked the lady!

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By *ruckingCouple94 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Most we have come across seem to start following G around and chatting then half way through the night ask him if I want to play alone with them and half the time they haven't even said a word to me all night!

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By *ruckingCouple94 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hull


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me!

Yes sadly, seem to miss the point that I decide who I'm playing with. Thankfully the guys we've played with have chatted to us both and asked me "

Exactly.

If I am interested in the guy conversation normally flows very easily as all parties are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damned if they do damned if they don't.

For every couple who'd prefer a direct approach to one gender they'll be another couple who will find it disrespectful.

We think the best way is to approach a couple as a couple but even that might not suit all couples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get that on here. Generally asking to be addressed equally as a couple works first time. We usually just say 'we don't have a wife' and it sorts it. In a club it would just be 'why don't you ask her?'

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By *ookingforfun9970Man
over a year ago

wilts


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me! "

Might be respect for the man ? Could annoy him if he goes and asks the woman he might not like it ? Probably best way to go about it would ask the both of you at the same time ? Have to have mutual respect

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By *ruckingCouple94 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hull


"We get that on here. Generally asking to be addressed equally as a couple works first time. We usually just say 'we don't have a wife' and it sorts it. In a club it would just be 'why don't you ask her?'"

I'm a lot more outspoken than G as he will chat to them even if I'm not interested as he feels like it's rude

I have to save him most nights lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We get that on here. Generally asking to be addressed equally as a couple works first time. We usually just say 'we don't have a wife' and it sorts it. In a club it would just be 'why don't you ask her?'"

Mr Spice couldn't care less, he knows a single straight guy isnt really interested in him. His only concern is that they are respectful.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Does anyone else have single guys in clubs etc asking your husband/bf/partner if you want to play rather than asking you?

It seems like everywhere we go guys seem to think my partner owns me & I'll play with them if he gives permission without even asking me! "

It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but I always give the same answer "you're asking the wrong person".

Cal

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