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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you were in the position where you could give your children most things would you.

I have just been getting stick of some chaps in Work saying I spoil my children and I disagree they both have jobs and when it’s birthdays and Christmas I get them what ever I want.

What’s your thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you say whatever they want, is there a limit ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Of course because of the gifts I buy my work collages think it ridiculous. But I only get them expensive gift at special occasions

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

What are we talking about here? A new car? Newest iPhone? PlayStation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I can speak for ads as well here, all five of our collective children are brilliant (well apart from one but he doesn’t ask he says ‘It would be nice to have xxxx) they never ask for anything they know we could never afford, they don’t expect anything grand at all so when we can afford to get them something that costs a bit more they are really grateful. Christmas two years ago was the worst for us, I wasn’t working and Christmas was dire in terms of gifts but last year, they didn’t ask for much as usual and we managed to get them all really nice things and they couldn’t believe it.

There is nothing wrong with spoiling your kids if you can afford it, as long as they are grateful and don’t just expect it like my sister my dad would always spend £100 each on us at Christmas when we were adults so that’s £700 for my family and my brothers and sisters (and my mum into that and then Ads fame along and his kids taking it up to £1000) my sister would give them a list each year and each year she would get it all, at the end of last year he retired and he couldn’t afford so much and I said just seeing you at Christmas will be enough but no, he still spent £50 each on us and was just getting us vouchers my sister was mortified that she wasn’t getting physical gifts! Or as much spent on her!.

If you can afford it do it but make sure they always say thank you.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What are we talking about here? A new car? Newest iPhone? PlayStation? "

Yes at Christmas I bought my daughter a car as she was about to pass her test and I bought my son a computer but quite an expensive one as he dose all his school work on it and I didn’t see the point in buying an average one as it would only need updating

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think I can speak for ads as well here, all five of our collective children are brilliant (well apart from one but he doesn’t ask he says ‘It would be nice to have xxxx) they never ask for anything they know we could never afford, they don’t expect anything grand at all so when we can afford to get them something that costs a bit more they are really grateful. Christmas two years ago was the worst for us, I wasn’t working and Christmas was dire in terms of gifts but last year, they didn’t ask for much as usual and we managed to get them all really nice things and they couldn’t believe it.

There is nothing wrong with spoiling your kids if you can afford it, as long as they are grateful and don’t just expect it like my sister my dad would always spend £100 each on us at Christmas when we were adults so that’s £700 for my family and my brothers and sisters (and my mum into that and then Ads fame along and his kids taking it up to £1000) my sister would give them a list each year and each year she would get it all, at the end of last year he retired and he couldn’t afford so much and I said just seeing you at Christmas will be enough but no, he still spent £50 each on us and was just getting us vouchers my sister was mortified that she wasn’t getting physical gifts! Or as much spent on her!.

If you can afford it do it but make sure they always say thank you.

Geeky x"

Exactly they don’t ask or expect they both go out to work I make sure of that so they understand the value of money.

If I am buying something I like to buy the best I can afford as I think the better quality you have the longer it last

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well if you’ve got it, why not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were in the position where you could give your children most things would you.

I have just been getting stick of some chaps in Work saying I spoil my children and I disagree they both have jobs and when it’s birthdays and Christmas I get them what ever I want.

What’s your thoughts "

I get them whatever they want within reason. My 4yr old asked me for the newest Xbox. Needless to say he didn't it. I think he is far go young.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you were in the position where you could give your children most things would you.

I have just been getting stick of some chaps in Work saying I spoil my children and I disagree they both have jobs and when it’s birthdays and Christmas I get them what ever I want.

What’s your thoughts

I get them whatever they want within reason. My 4yr old asked me for the newest Xbox. Needless to say he didn't it. I think he is far go young."

Lol it’s crazy at 4 he knows how to use the Xbox and I pad I bet I can only just use my phone

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

As long as they appreciate it... And realise it's not the same for everyone.

I'm 34 and I don't drive, I wasn't that bothered until relatively recently. But it's just not affordable for me (mainly due to the insurance - if I saved for a while I'd be able to buy a cheap £600 or so runaround to get me started).

Yet I've been asked several times by those in their early 20s why my parents never bought me a car or paid for the lessons, tests, insurance etc. As if that's the normal thing to do.

A lady at work was saying how her (30 year old) son had come to visit and mentioned he had £50 in his bank account and needed to buy groceries. He also mentioned that he had three nights out planned in the upcoming fortnight. So she transferred him £500 - £100 for each night out plus extra for groceries. She thought this was perfectly normal. In my eyes if you're short of cash, a night out is a luxury not a necessity!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's far more valuable to teach children the value of money and the importance of having to earn it, and look after it.

A close friend was spoilt rotten as a youngster and went on to be a materialistic, I must have the latest/newest things sort of chap. He's heavily in debt now and will likely be paying it off when he's pushing up daisies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As long as they appreciate it... And realise it's not the same for everyone.

I'm 34 and I don't drive, I wasn't that bothered until relatively recently. But it's just not affordable for me (mainly due to the insurance - if I saved for a while I'd be able to buy a cheap £600 or so runaround to get me started).

Yet I've been asked several times by those in their early 20s why my parents never bought me a car or paid for the lessons, tests, insurance etc. As if that's the normal thing to do.

A lady at work was saying how her (30 year old) son had come to visit and mentioned he had £50 in his bank account and needed to buy groceries. He also mentioned that he had three nights out planned in the upcoming fortnight. So she transferred him £500 - £100 for each night out plus extra for groceries. She thought this was perfectly normal. In my eyes if you're short of cash, a night out is a luxury not a necessity! "

That is crazy it’s like one of the chaps who I work with he calls me stupid for spending what I spend and he says he would not spend the kind of money I spend even if he could afford it yet he is out 5 night a week two of those with his wife so he must be spending £300 to £400 on going out alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't listen to other people's opinions regarding my children and how we are raising them. Mr's is the only opinion I care about.

We've got off lightly with our kids, they don't have the "gimme,gimme" mentality that I see a lot of but they get plenty at Xmas and birthdays. Having said that, I have absolutely no issue saying no to them and never once was there been a sulk or tantrum.

You just need to use your own judgement OP. If you wouldn't care what your colleagues thought about less important matters then I wouldn't be giving a shit what they said about my kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was 18 my parents brought me a car, not expensive but one to get me a To b, their reasoning was I would never afford a car, so I brought the lessons etc, I didn’t expect it though.

Through my adult life I’ve always had an issue with money and my parents were always helping out here and there and I feel throughly ashamed that they helped me so much, they still helped me financially when I didn’t have work when I moved here and it’s only in the last 6 months or so that they can’t help me and do you know what? At 38 years of age and I can’t admit this for once in my adult life I am paying my bills and managing my money better and not having the bank of mum and dad to fall back on and we’ve afford to buy things for the wedding and still have a nice social life when we get the chance. Having those strings cut actually helped me. I know it’s awful to admit at my age my parents were still helping me and I was horrendous with my money management, my next step is to start saving once we get the wedding out the way and to try and start repaying them back, even if it’s just putting fuel in their car or buying their shopping for them as my dad would never take money back from me.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't listen to other people's opinions regarding my children and how we are raising them. Mr's is the only opinion I care about.

We've got off lightly with our kids, they don't have the "gimme,gimme" mentality that I see a lot of but they get plenty at Xmas and birthdays. Having said that, I have absolutely no issue saying no to them and never once was there been a sulk or tantrum.

You just need to use your own judgement OP. If you wouldn't care what your colleagues thought about less important matters then I wouldn't be giving a shit what they said about my kids."

Exactly I don’t know why I listen to them most of the time I just tell them to shut the feck up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't listen to other people's opinions regarding my children and how we are raising them. Mr's is the only opinion I care about.

We've got off lightly with our kids, they don't have the "gimme,gimme" mentality that I see a lot of but they get plenty at Xmas and birthdays. Having said that, I have absolutely no issue saying no to them and never once was there been a sulk or tantrum.

You just need to use your own judgement OP. If you wouldn't care what your colleagues thought about less important matters then I wouldn't be giving a shit what they said about my kids.

Exactly I don’t know why I listen to them most of the time I just tell them to shut the feck up "

Cause they've obviously struck a nerve as it's to do with the most important thing you have, your kids. Nod along in agreement whilst thinking "go take a fuck to yourself mate". Works for me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I was 18 my parents brought me a car, not expensive but one to get me a To b, their reasoning was I would never afford a car, so I brought the lessons etc, I didn’t expect it though.

Through my adult life I’ve always had an issue with money and my parents were always helping out here and there and I feel throughly ashamed that they helped me so much, they still helped me financially when I didn’t have work when I moved here and it’s only in the last 6 months or so that they can’t help me and do you know what? At 38 years of age and I can’t admit this for once in my adult life I am paying my bills and managing my money better and not having the bank of mum and dad to fall back on and we’ve afford to buy things for the wedding and still have a nice social life when we get the chance. Having those strings cut actually helped me. I know it’s awful to admit at my age my parents were still helping me and I was horrendous with my money management, my next step is to start saving once we get the wedding out the way and to try and start repaying them back, even if it’s just putting fuel in their car or buying their shopping for them as my dad would never take money back from me.

Geeky x"

Well done you can’t beat being your own person and buying and paying for things you have work for it fells better. That’s why I make both mine work my son is 15 and he has a Saturday job where he works 11 hours for £60 which I think is great my daughter is at college but she works Saturday and Sunday so they both know how hard money is to come buy. Like I said I only spend big money at birthdays and Christmas

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I was a single parent when my children were growing up ... I worked part time ....I bought them what I could afford .... I always paid the bills .. The mortgage ... I taught them manners ...they are both grown up well adjusted adults ... I help them out when I can ... not lavishly ...they are always gratefull .

Its not about how much you give them .. its about teaching them morals and standards .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was a single parent when my children were growing up ... I worked part time ....I bought them what I could afford .... I always paid the bills .. The mortgage ... I taught them manners ...they are both grown up well adjusted adults ... I help them out when I can ... not lavishly ...they are always gratefull .

Its not about how much you give them .. its about teaching them morals and stand

ards ."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd never go into debt to buy the children gifts, but we do like to treat them at Birthdays and Christmas, but it's only ever what we can afford. They don't have latest consoles and technology and I make my eldest two share a phone as I don't think they really need one each, same as all three share a tablet for the same reason as well as it limits their time and reminds them of the need to share.

We did however spend £1000 on Lego for them last Christmas which is probably excessive, but at the same time they don't have much throughout the year.

The one thing I am conscious of is ensuring they understand the value of money and don't have a lifestyle that they couldn't sustain for themselves. I have a colleague that had a very privileged upbringing, but now earning around £30k she has loads of debt as she tries to continue with high end brands and luxury holidays, thankfully I'm not loaded so don't need to worry about that aspect for my children

Ginger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you were in the position where you could give your children most things would you.

I have just been getting stick of some chaps in Work saying I spoil my children and I disagree they both have jobs and when it’s birthdays and Christmas I get them what ever I want.

What’s your thoughts

I get them whatever they want within reason. My 4yr old asked me for the newest Xbox. Needless to say he didn't it. I think he is far go young.

Lol it’s crazy at 4 he knows how to use the Xbox and I pad I bet I can only just use my phone "

He wouldn't know how to use an Xbox. Phone maybe but that's about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you were in the position where you could give your children most things would you.

I have just been getting stick of some chaps in Work saying I spoil my children and I disagree they both have jobs and when it’s birthdays and Christmas I get them what ever I want.

What’s your thoughts

I get them whatever they want within reason. My 4yr old asked me for the newest Xbox. Needless to say he didn't it. I think he is far go young.

Lol it’s crazy at 4 he knows how to use the Xbox and I pad I bet I can only just use my phone

He wouldn't know how to use an Xbox. Phone maybe but that's about it "

Lol sorry I thought you got him an older version

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's far more valuable to teach children the value of money and the importance of having to earn it, and look after it.

A close friend was spoilt rotten as a youngster and went on to be a materialistic, I must have the latest/newest things sort of chap. He's heavily in debt now and will likely be paying it off when he's pushing up daisies. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I was 18 my parents brought me a car, not expensive but one to get me a To b, their reasoning was I would never afford a car, so I brought the lessons etc, I didn’t expect it though.

Through my adult life I’ve always had an issue with money and my parents were always helping out here and there and I feel throughly ashamed that they helped me so much, they still helped me financially when I didn’t have work when I moved here and it’s only in the last 6 months or so that they can’t help me and do you know what? At 38 years of age and I can’t admit this for once in my adult life I am paying my bills and managing my money better and not having the bank of mum and dad to fall back on and we’ve afford to buy things for the wedding and still have a nice social life when we get the chance. Having those strings cut actually helped me. I know it’s awful to admit at my age my parents were still helping me and I was horrendous with my money management, my next step is to start saving once we get the wedding out the way and to try and start repaying them back, even if it’s just putting fuel in their car or buying their shopping for them as my dad would never take money back from me.

Geeky x

Well done you can’t beat being your own person and buying and paying for things you have work for it fells better. That’s why I make both mine work my son is 15 and he has a Saturday job where he works 11 hours for £60 which I think is great my daughter is at college but she works Saturday and Sunday so they both know how hard money is to come buy. Like I said I only spend big money at birthdays and Christmas "

I’m so proud of my eldest, as soon as he finished year eleven he went out the next Monday and got a job in McDonald’s, he has been there for 8 months and just got a promotion. He works hard at college and goes off to work after, I don’t see him as much but i’d rather he works and gets the things he wants, he also pays his own travel every month (which I thought was a bit harsh when my ex told me and I was going to pay half but when I thought about it, it teaches him to pay his own way) he is now on more money than me!!

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I was 18 my parents brought me a car, not expensive but one to get me a To b, their reasoning was I would never afford a car, so I brought the lessons etc, I didn’t expect it though.

Through my adult life I’ve always had an issue with money and my parents were always helping out here and there and I feel throughly ashamed that they helped me so much, they still helped me financially when I didn’t have work when I moved here and it’s only in the last 6 months or so that they can’t help me and do you know what? At 38 years of age and I can’t admit this for once in my adult life I am paying my bills and managing my money better and not having the bank of mum and dad to fall back on and we’ve afford to buy things for the wedding and still have a nice social life when we get the chance. Having those strings cut actually helped me. I know it’s awful to admit at my age my parents were still helping me and I was horrendous with my money management, my next step is to start saving once we get the wedding out the way and to try and start repaying them back, even if it’s just putting fuel in their car or buying their shopping for them as my dad would never take money back from me.

Geeky x

Well done you can’t beat being your own person and buying and paying for things you have work for it fells better. That’s why I make both mine work my son is 15 and he has a Saturday job where he works 11 hours for £60 which I think is great my daughter is at college but she works Saturday and Sunday so they both know how hard money is to come buy. Like I said I only spend big money at birthdays and Christmas

I’m so proud of my eldest, as soon as he finished year eleven he went out the next Monday and got a job in McDonald’s, he has been there for 8 months and just got a promotion. He works hard at college and goes off to work after, I don’t see him as much but i’d rather he works and gets the things he wants, he also pays his own travel every month (which I thought was a bit harsh when my ex told me and I was going to pay half but when I thought about it, it teaches him to pay his own way) he is now on more money than me!!

Geeky x"

That is brilliant you have done a great job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still overcompensating for a marriage breakup so they get pretty much everything they ask for

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

My parents bought me my first three cars and gave me the deposit for my first house. None of them were extravagant (no BMWs etc!) but as an only child with a parent receiving a very generous salary they wanted to set me up - I worked hard at school, appreciated what I was given and always recognised how very lucky I was. There were no expectations or demands. Had this occurred, they round have stopped their generosity - and rightly so.

My view - your kids, your money, your decision.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gave my son love and attention .Taught him right from wrong .Hes never asked for expensive presents .Im proud of him as he has great job he loves .I gave him things i could afford and hes always been happy .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My parents bought me my first three cars and gave me the deposit for my first house. None of them were extravagant (no BMWs etc!) but as an only child with a parent receiving a very generous salary they wanted to set me up - I worked hard at school, appreciated what I was given and always recognised how very lucky I was. There were no expectations or demands. Had this occurred, they round have stopped their generosity - and rightly so.

My view - your kids, your money, your decision. "

Perfectly put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are your children.

You can give them whatever you want whenever you want.

Why would someone else's opinion ever matter

Children will always be the best part of us.

My son I would give the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What are we talking about here? A new car? Newest iPhone? PlayStation?

Yes at Christmas I bought my daughter a car as she was about to pass her test and I bought my son a computer but quite an expensive one as he dose all his school work on it and I didn’t see the point in buying an average one as it would only need updating "

Sounds like jealousy to me. Carry on doing what you can.

I helped pay for my sons driving lessons, I paid for the tests. And I bought him his first car.

It's not spoiling them, it's giving them a step up into the world.

Now he owns his own house, a good job, his car was written off recently. I gave him the money for a new one.

My youngest is at Uni. He gets a monthly allowance. And I gave him the cash for him to build himself a PC for uni, he needs a powerful one for the programmes he uses for his uni work.

I don't care what others think of it tbh.

And no, it doesn't turn them into spoilt brats. They have never asked me for a penny, I do it willingly, always gettibg told off by them for it but it's always gratefully received.

The way I see it is, i'm in a position too so why not. I see it as investing in my youngests future while he's at Uni.

And by paying for lessons and a car for my eldest the investment has paid off because it's enabled him to get a good job.

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By *vie RuthWoman
over a year ago

Just where the rainbow end.s . .

Personally I think children appreciate gifts when they know their parent/parents have saved to get them that special gift.Too many expect these days and have no appreciation for the gift Which will probably be out of date in a few months

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area


"I'm still overcompensating for a marriage breakup so they get pretty much everything they ask for

"
....

Something you may regret ...

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area


"I gave my son love and attention .Taught him right from wrong .Hes never asked for expensive presents .Im proud of him as he has great job he loves .I gave him things i could afford and hes always been happy . "

Exactly this .... love and attention is the best gift you can give a child ........

You reap what you sow .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What are we talking about here? A new car? Newest iPhone? PlayStation?

Yes at Christmas I bought my daughter a car as she was about to pass her test and I bought my son a computer but quite an expensive one as he dose all his school work on it and I didn’t see the point in buying an average one as it would only need updating

Sounds like jealousy to me. Carry on doing what you can.

I helped pay for my sons driving lessons, I paid for the tests. And I bought him his first car.

It's not spoiling them, it's giving them a step up into the world.

Now he owns his own house, a good job, his car was written off recently. I gave him the money for a new one.

My youngest is at Uni. He gets a monthly allowance. And I gave him the cash for him to build himself a PC for uni, he needs a powerful one for the programmes he uses for his uni work.

I don't care what others think of it tbh.

And no, it doesn't turn them into spoilt brats. They have never asked me for a penny, I do it willingly, always gettibg told off by them for it but it's always gratefully received.

The way I see it is, i'm in a position too so why not. I see it as investing in my youngests future while he's at Uni.

And by paying for lessons and a car for my eldest the investment has paid off because it's enabled him to get a good job.

"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We give our kids the best we can afford of everything and always have done. Sometimes its been a lot eg a car and sometimes much less.

Along with that we gave them values and a sense of realistic expectations.

We're not perfect parents by any means and I doubt the collegues who comment on you buying gifts for your kids are either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give my children what I can afford. We don’t have much but I do the best with the little we do have. They don’t have constantly but at birthdays and Christmas do get spoiled. X

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