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Families how’s yours?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ads and I are currently banging our head against a brick wall with ours, wedding related and long going arguments between two of the females of his massive family (resulting in my hen do ending early), currently caught in the crossfire and I feel like banging my head against a brick wall!’

Sorry to post but I literally have no where else to vent and as it’s still Thursday!!

Don’t expect any replies just wanted to air that’s all!’ And breathe.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a bit awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why hubby and I got married in Vegas. Away from everyone. Couldn't be doing with pleasing everyone else. Hope you work it out op x

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

You cant pick your family

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

You can't choose family and you can't solve on-going arguments.

Let it wash over you and leave them to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them they can't come to your wedding if they already ruined your hen night. No-one needs that shit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds a bit awkward"

Bloody awkward, were are the go to between the two camps at the moment and it’s stress we really didn’t need this, this close to the wedding. Thing is it was my hen do you would think things could have stayed civil for one night. Well one side did stay civil and worked hard to give me a good night the other side just couldn’t let it go. I’ve had an apology from the one who couldn’t let it go which I was happy about but she hasn’t apologised to the other side for telling her to fuck off and walking out. Thing is we don’t even know what the row from three years ago was!! Apparently the one who couldn’t let it go (his aunt) is ready to speak to the other side (my sister in law) and sort it out but the ball is in the sister in laws court now and it all rests with us if his aunt comes to the wedding now so we are stuck as my sister in law is my maid of honour!! Can we elope?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ads and I are currently banging our head against a brick wall with ours, wedding related and long going arguments between two of the females of his massive family (resulting in my hen do ending early), currently caught in the crossfire and I feel like banging my head against a brick wall!’

Sorry to post but I literally have no where else to vent and as it’s still Thursday!!

Don’t expect any replies just wanted to air that’s all!’ And breathe.

Geeky x"

Elope, just the two of you, then you'll have nothing to worry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family."

100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

elope! i got married in las vegas because my ex husband had a massive extended family who were constantly bickering over nothing..is there another relative you could have a word with who might speak to them, make them realise that its upsetting you...because thats really not on, its their crap not yours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds a bit awkward

Bloody awkward, were are the go to between the two camps at the moment and it’s stress we really didn’t need this, this close to the wedding. Thing is it was my hen do you would think things could have stayed civil for one night. Well one side did stay civil and worked hard to give me a good night the other side just couldn’t let it go. I’ve had an apology from the one who couldn’t let it go which I was happy about but she hasn’t apologised to the other side for telling her to fuck off and walking out. Thing is we don’t even know what the row from three years ago was!! Apparently the one who couldn’t let it go (his aunt) is ready to speak to the other side (my sister in law) and sort it out but the ball is in the sister in laws court now and it all rests with us if his aunt comes to the wedding now so we are stuck as my sister in law is my maid of honour!! Can we elope?!"

My family fell out with each other before my wedding and wouldn't speak to each other, I told them all to fuck off and leave me alone and not bother coming, haven't seen them in years, it hasn't bothered me. Not saying you should do that but they are not thinking of you, just themselves

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family."

I love my sister in law dearly she’s like a proper sister to me. She is unaware of why the aunt has a problem with her (this is from three years ago). She worked hard to make my hen do brilliant as I had never done anything like it before and even though she was stressed about being in the same room as the aunt but decided to walk in and give her a kiss like all the family do and the aunt brushed her off and it was like it all night which resulted in the aunt sitting with my sister in law (and stupidly in my d*unk state thought ‘oh they are sorting it through’ but the aunt just started shouting and telling her to fuck off. She left, the other aunt left, cousin left and then sister in law was in floods of tears because she thinks she ruined my night (I was so d*unk by this point I was really oblivious to anything) and then his mum left (I said it was fine) if my two friends hadn’t of been there then it would have been the worst night ever lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds a bit awkward

Bloody awkward, were are the go to between the two camps at the moment and it’s stress we really didn’t need this, this close to the wedding. Thing is it was my hen do you would think things could have stayed civil for one night. Well one side did stay civil and worked hard to give me a good night the other side just couldn’t let it go. I’ve had an apology from the one who couldn’t let it go which I was happy about but she hasn’t apologised to the other side for telling her to fuck off and walking out. Thing is we don’t even know what the row from three years ago was!! Apparently the one who couldn’t let it go (his aunt) is ready to speak to the other side (my sister in law) and sort it out but the ball is in the sister in laws court now and it all rests with us if his aunt comes to the wedding now so we are stuck as my sister in law is my maid of honour!! Can we elope?!

My family fell out with each other before my wedding and wouldn't speak to each other, I told them all to fuck off and leave me alone and not bother coming, haven't seen them in years, it hasn't bothered me. Not saying you should do that but they are not thinking of you, just themselves"

I was oblivious on the night and spent half of Saturday still a bit d*unk and then it kicked in what had happened, Ads told him mum that the aunt wasn’t invited to the wedding anymore unless it all gets sorted. The aunt rang me Tuesday to say she was mortified from her behaviour and I accepted it but said she needs to sort it out with my sister in law, the aunts ready to meet and clear this up before the wedding and I am insure what my sister in law is planning to do. We want everyone there but I don’t want an ‘air’ all day and waiting for something to kick off especially when his aunt has had a drink (borderline alcoholic) but her new husband is there and he keeps her in line and makes sure she doesn’t drink too much. It’s all a bit too much. Ads is calling his aunt tomorrow and see where we go from there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a word with them and tell them if they can’t put differences aside for your wedding day then they can’t come. Surly they can be grown up enough for one day!

Good luck hope all goes well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family.

I love my sister in law dearly she’s like a proper sister to me. She is unaware of why the aunt has a problem with her (this is from three years ago). She worked hard to make my hen do brilliant as I had never done anything like it before and even though she was stressed about being in the same room as the aunt but decided to walk in and give her a kiss like all the family do and the aunt brushed her off and it was like it all night which resulted in the aunt sitting with my sister in law (and stupidly in my d*unk state thought ‘oh they are sorting it through’ but the aunt just started shouting and telling her to fuck off. She left, the other aunt left, cousin left and then sister in law was in floods of tears because she thinks she ruined my night (I was so d*unk by this point I was really oblivious to anything) and then his mum left (I said it was fine) if my two friends hadn’t of been there then it would have been the worst night ever lol."

If the aunt is the one causing the issues why not tell her she's not welcome to the wedding?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family.

I love my sister in law dearly she’s like a proper sister to me. She is unaware of why the aunt has a problem with her (this is from three years ago). She worked hard to make my hen do brilliant as I had never done anything like it before and even though she was stressed about being in the same room as the aunt but decided to walk in and give her a kiss like all the family do and the aunt brushed her off and it was like it all night which resulted in the aunt sitting with my sister in law (and stupidly in my d*unk state thought ‘oh they are sorting it through’ but the aunt just started shouting and telling her to fuck off. She left, the other aunt left, cousin left and then sister in law was in floods of tears because she thinks she ruined my night (I was so d*unk by this point I was really oblivious to anything) and then his mum left (I said it was fine) if my two friends hadn’t of been there then it would have been the worst night ever lol.

If the aunt is the one causing the issues why not tell her she's not welcome to the wedding?"

I don’t know really, I guess because it’s a wedding and all the family should be there? Thing is in Dec 16 Ads cousin took his own life and the family decided that everyone should get a bit closer as everyone had lost their way but it seems since then they’ve been further a part. If his aunt doesn’t come then her kids don’t and then his other aunt who is very close to her sister probably won’t come...it should be a simple decision the impact of not having her their isn’t just one person it’s about ten and we don’t want to look back at the photos and not see them their etc but on the flip side look back and think ‘oh she is there the one that ruined the day’ x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks. "

I’m still kind of best friends with my ex husband, he is coming out with me and my other friends the weekend after next, I’ve known him for almost 30 years and we were married for 15 of those years and have three brilliant kids. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can pick your family. Just disown them. If you wouldn't be actual friends if they behaved like that, there's no obligation to be 'friends' with them just because they're family."

This 100%

We had 12 people at our wedding, 2 of which were us, 4 of which were my really close friends.

We started planning our wedding and within 2 weeks realized it was going to be absolute hell regarding families. So we ditched all the plans and had the smallest, most fantastic experience. And it was lovely. Don't let others ruin it for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks. "

What are you going on about??

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

don't you know- families are like fudge. mostly sweet with some nuts

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks.

What are you going on about??"

I think he's just taken the thread title, late night winter rambling and posted his love for his ex.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks.

What are you going on about??

I think he's just taken the thread title, late night winter rambling and posted his love for his ex.

"

I posted the title and even I was confused! Then I realised it’s about families

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Families eh. Don't take on the role of mediators and peace keepers it will stick with you and cause you untold stress and it's not your problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I split up with wife a year ago, not on bad terms and we are still close friends as we were together 14 years. I still think the world of her and we have 2 amazing kids. We are so lucky to have had so many good times together for which I will never forget. To this day I love her dearly and don't know why the fuck I'm on this site and thinking of leaving. Slag me off all you want i couldn't give 2 fucks.

What are you going on about??

I think he's just taken the thread title, late night winter rambling and posted his love for his ex.

I posted the title and even I was confused! Then I realised it’s about families "

Yeh apologies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Families eh. Don't take on the role of mediators and peace keepers it will stick with you and cause you untold stress and it's not your problem."

The problem is because it’s happened on the run up to our wedding and one side saying they won’t go if the other goes.

The if the other side doesn’t go her kids will also not go

We used to be a big family in each other’s pockets but since my nan died we’ve all drifted apart as I’ve realised we’re very matriarchal but now we have no matriarch but my aunt tries to fill that role but pushes everyone who doesn’t agree with her away and the rest of the family tend to agree with her

Ads

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Families eh. Don't take on the role of mediators and peace keepers it will stick with you and cause you untold stress and it's not your problem.

The problem is because it’s happened on the run up to our wedding and one side saying they won’t go if the other goes.

The if the other side doesn’t go her kids will also not go

We used to be a big family in each other’s pockets but since my nan died we’ve all drifted apart as I’ve realised we’re very matriarchal but now we have no matriarch but my aunt tries to fill that role but pushes everyone who doesn’t agree with her away and the rest of the family tend to agree with her

Ads

"

All I can say is tell both sides that if they are selfish enough to bring their quarrels to your wedding they need to give their heads a wobble and leave it. Births, marriages and deaths bring out the worst in people, stay neutral you cannot ever resolve it, only the people involved can.

Enjoy your wedding and the run up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is exactly why g and i had a very small and informal wedding where we went to the pub after the reg office bit. Mums partner wanted us to do things his way and got stroppy when we said no. So we did exactly what WE wanted and incase he got arsey at the pub we booked ourselves a room overnight at a posh hotel so we could just go anytime we wanted too. It worked well A friend said he complained about his meal but we were oblivious to it as my brother was sat with him rather than us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

P.s. i hope they behave at your wedding and the day is as lovely as you both want it to be x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A registrar and two witnesses, that's all you need, you know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think we’ve agreed to more or less invite the aunt again but with the proviso that her hubby whisk her away if things go Pete tong. Which I really hope all parties can hold their tongue. We’ve gone through so much to get here, I will not let this ruin our day, the argument isn’t with us. The aunts offered to meet with the sister in law so the ball is firmly in her court now. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we’ve agreed to more or less invite the aunt again but with the proviso that her hubby whisk her away if things go Pete tong. Which I really hope all parties can hold their tongue. We’ve gone through so much to get here, I will not let this ruin our day, the argument isn’t with us. The aunts offered to meet with the sister in law so the ball is firmly in her court now. Xx"

That's good news. Hope she behaves.

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