FabSwingers.com forum: Definition of NSA to you?

By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

What is your personal definition of NSA? I'm starting to wonder if mine is now screwed up. I've been here for 10 years this year and I have never had to question this before now.

The past couple of years I have struggled to meet, as most men come across as 'this is a sex site, so is just fuck and go' But my definition is, I have to like and be attracted to the person, I am meeting, I take an interest in their life and expect them to do the same for me, especially if there is something big and stressful going on in it. Oh and I also expect them to like me as a person as well (goes without saying)

Am I really expecting too much or have the rules changed now that the site is exposed to so many newcomers due to the press doing 'exposes' so to speak.

If so, is it now time for me to leave? As I feel as if I am hanging on by my finger nails, rather than just my finger tips, are my expectations now too high and unreasonable?

I'd love to hear your views both men and women of your experiences and your expectations x

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan
over a year ago

Tipperary

NSA is in the title. Fun with no ties/commitment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone you want to fuck, and can have a laugh and chat with, but don't mind if they fuck others too. Someone you don't expect to see all the time, but you both make time for each other when you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe that NSA is deemed as almoat some kind of "fuck and go" based on what I see here.

Personally Im looking for the fun element, but regular and sometimes even keeping our clothes on and grabbing a coffee every once in a while. For me the NSA amounts to a companion with no commitment and someone to get to know... without dabbling into their private life where it might mot be wanted

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional.

It comes with strings.

Maybe some can fuck and run

But unless I find a connection with someone why would I ever want to have sex with them.

But then I do everything wrong on here...

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Both of the above I agree with and goes without saying!

I am speaking about the people you meet, not about who else they meet!

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional.

It comes with strings.

Maybe some can fuck and run

But unless I find a connection with someone why would I ever want to have sex with them.

But then I do everything wrong on here..."

So far it seems you and me both lol wasn't like this 10 years ago, that is for sure!

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

To me NSA simply means that there's no expectation of anything developing into a romantic relationship, and there's no possessiveness.

I have had repeat meets, and as soon as someone started acting possessive I stopped meeting them. There are times when I'll be really enjoying one particular person and might not actually want to meet anyone else... but that's my choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spending stress free time with each other away from the everyday bullshit whatever that maybe.. work,family. Someone you can go to that will lift your mood and have a laugh with,without any drama. Just a fun break away from life that doesn’t become part of the problem.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I believe that NSA is deemed as almoat some kind of "fuck and go" based on what I see here.

This I understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it now means different things to different generations or even different sexual walks of life. I'm fairly new to the swinging scene and find there are so many contradicting views, men, women, couples et al, that all use the same terms but, in definition by their profiles, mean totally the opposite of what you'd expect. For me I have my private life and my swinging life, NSA means you're not part of my private life, we definitely need to connect/attract. But that's just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nsa to me would mean all the fun stuff you want to do, without either wanting it to necessarily being exclusive or to develop into anything more romantic/deep. How possible it would be is another matter

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"To me NSA simply means that there's no expectation of anything developing into a romantic relationship, and there's no possessiveness.

This is how I started as well, I just can't get my head around the disrespectfulness of where it is heading now, so therefore I am choosing to go without rather than go against myself just for the sake of sex.

I suppose I just don't understand the attitudes now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey, I thought NSA were something to do with armed penguins hiding the fact that the world is flat....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe what you like isn’t NSA. It’s more of a fuck buddy or fwb and I think that’s more than NSA.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

You are describing/looking for an fb/fwb type deal it seems to me - they come with some strings generally, whatever you agree between you. I have found several such relationships/friendships here, you just have to be selective about who you meet, insist on clarity.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Maybe what you like isn’t NSA. It’s more of a fuck buddy or fwb and I think that’s more than NSA. "

Well I certainly don't enjoy being spoken to like an unpaid prostitute that is for sure, if that is now classed as NSA then no I don't want to be part of that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you need lsa Loose strings attached.... I am not a fan of the fuck and go scene, except maybe at a club, or party. But individual boundaries need to be found.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Think you need lsa Loose strings attached.... I am not a fan of the fuck and go scene, except maybe at a club, or party. But individual boundaries need to be found."

Your right! I think my profile is quite clear (ignore the angry part) As just now it is needed, but it is clear what I am looking for, is it not?

After 10 years my patience is being pushed to the limit of late to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I posted in another thread that I think long term NSA as in no strings whatsoever isn’t what I’m looking for anymore.

I need a few strings ~ knowing the person, being able to connect, having a laugh ~ all this enhances the experience for me far far more than a mere fuck & go type scenario can ever do.

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional.

It comes with strings.

Maybe some can fuck and run

But unless I find a connection with someone why would I ever want to have sex with them.

But then I do everything wrong on here...

So far it seems you and me both lol wasn't like this 10 years ago, that is for sure! "

Makes arguing with builders almost seem simple...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have the pussy, you write the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would still expect a friendship if it’s nsa

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Nsa to me means being friendly while we're together but we owe each other nothing outside of that. I wouldn't expect emotional support from anyone I was having casual sex with and wouldn't offer it.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"I would still expect a friendship if it’s nsa

Mrs "

Thank you

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

"I would still expect a friendship if it’s nsa

Mrs "

Agreed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, it means meeting someone and having no attachment to that person. They are free to do as they please and you are free to do the same. No jealousy or input. You just enjoy each other. Go your seperate ways, then meet up for more fun, when you are both free, if you want to meet up again. No disappointments or expectations.

It's not my thing. I like a few strings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe what you like isn’t NSA. It’s more of a fuck buddy or fwb and I think that’s more than NSA.

Well I certainly don't enjoy being spoken to like an unpaid prostitute that is for sure, if that is now classed as NSA then no I don't want to be part of that! "

NSA to me means fuck n go. I don't want that but I respect people that do.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Maybe what you like isn’t NSA. It’s more of a fuck buddy or fwb and I think that’s more than NSA.

Well I certainly don't enjoy being spoken to like an unpaid prostitute that is for sure, if that is now classed as NSA then no I don't want to be part of that! "

I don't really understand why people say that - can't you just avoid talking to anyone disrespectful or with a profile that displays a bad attitude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think you need lsa Loose strings attached.... I am not a fan of the fuck and go scene, except maybe at a club, or party. But individual boundaries need to be found."

LSA! We need to get this into the dictionary. I want LSA.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional.

It comes with strings.

Maybe some can fuck and run

But unless I find a connection with someone why would I ever want to have sex with them.

But then I do everything wrong on here...

So far it seems you and me both lol wasn't like this 10 years ago, that is for sure!

Makes arguing with builders almost seem simple...

Between them and here, I am slowly turning into a f*cking phycho lol as my patience is really being pushed to the limit and I will be reaching my breaking point much sooner than I thought and will be hitting breakdown sooner than I hint at, I know I am strong but there is only so much shit I can deal with

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Unless you fuck total strangers on a one off basis then to me it doesn’t exist. There are always strings.

I’m not sure you need to question the way you do things, different strings for different people. Choose your own strings.

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Think you need lsa Loose strings attached.... I am not a fan of the fuck and go scene, except maybe at a club, or party. But individual boundaries need to be found.

LSA! We need to get this into the dictionary. I want LSA.

I'm going to adopt this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone you want to fuck, and can have a laugh and chat with, but don't mind if they fuck others too. Someone you don't expect to see all the time, but you both make time for each other when you can."

Read all the descriptions & this is the one that fits us most X

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional.

It comes with strings.

Maybe some can fuck and run

But unless I find a connection with someone why would I ever want to have sex with them.

But then I do everything wrong on here...

So far it seems you and me both lol wasn't like this 10 years ago, that is for sure!

Makes arguing with builders almost seem simple...

And breathe.

Then get some sex

It's one problem less

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The way I view it personally is this - when I meet someone I step into a bubble with that person(s) and for the time I'm in that bubble, I'm with that person 100% although always aware of my own life/circumstances outside of the bubble - during the time in the bubble we may socialise or have sex etc, but I'm with that person. When the meet ends, I step back out of the bubble into my "normal" life but am always aware of the time spent inside the bubble.

Now for me to want to step inside the bubble with someone, there has to be a connection and chemistry, and a level of comfort with that person, and it has to be on an equal level and understood on both sides that the meet is a temporary thing but whilst we're in that bubble we're effectively together for the duration if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way I view it personally is this - when I meet someone I step into a bubble with that person(s) and for the time I'm in that bubble, I'm with that person 100% although always aware of my own life/circumstances outside of the bubble - during the time in the bubble we may socialise or have sex etc, but I'm with that person. When the meet ends, I step back out of the bubble into my "normal" life but am always aware of the time spent inside the bubble.

This sounds a good way

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

To me it means chat, meet, enjoy some sex. Maybe meet again, maybe not. Maybe never message again. It doesn't matter.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

This sounds a good way

Thank you - I neglected to add that for me at least the bubble is preferably multi-use but the analogy works for single one off meets as well

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

That could be a nice kind of nsa, I have been there. But I do want more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds a good way

Thank you - I neglected to add that for me at least the bubble is preferably multi-use but the analogy works for single one off meets as well

Makes sense to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perfect definition

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

Just the one

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

Just the one

So one is nsa but two isnt

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

Just the one

So one is nsa but two isnt

Your being difficult now

I'm still working out how many different versions of nsa there are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NSA is where the woman turns up, fucks the guy and fucks off until the next time he's horny.

If she asks for a fuck she's clearly nagging and clingy. It only ever works one way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

National space agency

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"NSA is where the woman turns up, fucks the guy and fucks off until the next time he's horny.

If she asks for a fuck she's clearly nagging and clingy. It only ever works one way. "

Well that made me smile.

But I understand it works the other way round too.

Perhaps there's less differences between men and women than we sometimes imagine

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"NSA is where the woman turns up, fucks the guy and fucks off until the next time he's horny.

If she asks for a fuck she's clearly nagging and clingy. It only ever works one way. "

Errr it doesn't - not in my book anyway - it's a mutually agreeable thing that works very much both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NSA is where the woman turns up, fucks the guy and fucks off until the next time he's horny.

If she asks for a fuck she's clearly nagging and clingy. It only ever works one way.

Well that made me smile.

But I understand it works the other way round too.

Perhaps there's less differences between men and women than we sometimes imagine

OP was asking for opinions, that was just one of mine. I know not *all* men are the same.

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"NSA is where the woman turns up, fucks the guy and fucks off until the next time he's horny.

If she asks for a fuck she's clearly nagging and clingy. It only ever works one way.

Well that made me smile.

But I understand it works the other way round too.

Perhaps there's less differences between men and women than we sometimes imagine

OP was asking for opinions, that was just one of mine. I know not *all* men are the same.

I'll take my tongue out of my cheek next time I post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is your personal definition of NSA? I'm starting to wonder if mine is now screwed up. I've been here for 10 years this year and I have never had to question this before now.

Am I really expecting too much or have the rules changed now that the site is exposed to so many newcomers due to the press doing 'exposes' so to speak.

If so, is it now time for me to leave? As I feel as if I am hanging on by my finger nails, rather than just my finger tips, are my expectations now too high and unreasonable?

I'd love to hear your views both men and women of your experiences and your expectations x"

Just don't you be leaving

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I think the older we get the more strings we want with specific people. I'm happy with NSA with most guys but sometimes I get a really strong connection with someone and it then develop into a FWB set up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it now means different things to different generations or even different sexual walks of life. I'm fairly new to the swinging scene and find there are so many contradicting views, men, women, couples et al, that all use the same terms but, in definition by their profiles, mean totally the opposite of what you'd expect. For me I have my private life and my swinging life, NSA means you're not part of my private life, we definitely need to

connect/attract. But that's just me. "

Yep I agree 100% this is my definition too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nsa to me means being friendly while we're together but we owe each other nothing outside of that. I wouldn't expect emotional support from anyone I was having casual sex with and wouldn't offer it."

Just this, we need to click,but that's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nsa to me means being friendly while we're together but we owe each other nothing outside of that. I wouldn't expect emotional support from anyone I was having casual sex with and wouldn't offer it.

Just this, we need to click,but that's all

Yes surely nsa means that your not expected to be there emotionally for someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sounds a good way

"
now that is a great and accurate analogy

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Nsa to me means being friendly while we're together but we owe each other nothing outside of that. I wouldn't expect emotional support from anyone I was having casual sex with and wouldn't offer it.

Just this, we need to click,but that's all

Yes surely nsa means that your not expected to be there emotionally for someone "

Agree with this. In a FAB Venn diagram NSA would be on one side.For me NSA means it's about the sex and that's all. I don't want to be your bezzie mate, I dont want to hear about your day at work. Generally one off or maybe sporadic meets, with no buy in apart from a mutually satisfying meeting of genitals.

FWB would be on the other side of the Venn with meets on a more regular basis,more contact and more sharing of nonfab life details.

The overlap would be FBs...

Problems tend to arise when people aren't honest with themselves or others about what they really want.

I've made it clear in the past that I'm only here for NSA but then people with other agendas get upset when I'm unwilling to commit to anything more than that...

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By *aughtyLittleMissWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

This, I like lots of bubbles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pinocchio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nsa means fuck and go and regardless of fab "being"a sex site it's not my thing

I don't want a relationship nor do I want just meaningless sex with numerous guys so I guess I'm looking for that happy medium

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By *onkeymagic50Man
over a year ago

Near the harbour

"What is your personal definition of NSA? I'm starting to wonder if mine is now screwed up. I've been here for 10 years this year and I have never had to question this before now.

Am I really expecting too much or have the rules changed now that the site is exposed to so many newcomers due to the press doing 'exposes' so to speak.

If so, is it now time for me to leave? As I feel as if I am hanging on by my finger nails, rather than just my finger tips, are my expectations now too high and unreasonable?

I'd love to hear your views both men and women of your experiences and your expectations x"

This is 100 percent spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

Yes 2nd time the string twangs

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Nsa to me means being friendly while we're together but we owe each other nothing outside of that. I wouldn't expect emotional support from anyone I was having casual sex with and wouldn't offer it.

Just this, we need to click,but that's all

Yes surely nsa means that your not expected to be there emotionally for someone

FWB would be on the other side of the Venn with meets on a more regular basis,more contact and more sharing of nonfab life details.

The overlap would be FBs...

Problems tend to arise when people aren't honest with themselves or others about what they really want.

Yeah you can pitch it wherever you both agree - but you do need to be clear and agree, which is where problems often arise. I don't like taboos - I always chat in depth with and give emotional support to people I meet regularly, and that is given in return - its just the nearer to the nsa end of the spectrum the dynamic is, the less obligation there is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never really believed nsa exists.

It's sex a connection between two people the physical doesn't happen without the mental or emotional."

Yes, it does!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's solely about all partners getting and giving satisfaction. The only rules are respect and reliability, until you negotiate specifics.

You meet once, without commitment to do so again, although that may happen. And restrain your romantic emotional connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone makes everything mean what they want it to - just to fit their own agenda

They'll lie, justify and say that they meant one thing when they said another.

Words mean nothing x

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

"Everyone makes everything mean what they want it to - just to fit their own agenda

They'll lie, justify and say that they meant one thing when they said another.

Words mean nothing x"

Welcome to the mad hatters tea party....or is it 1984?

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"NSA too many is one offs but its horrible .i cant do cold sex i would rather have a wank at home .

Rather have friend with benefits anyday .

Is there a difference between one and two offs?

Yes 2nd time the string twangs

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Everyone makes everything mean what they want it to - just to fit their own agenda

They'll lie, justify and say that they meant one thing when they said another.

Words mean nothing x"

Yep Im with you sister on this one

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By *blasiansCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone makes everything mean what they want it to - just to fit their own agenda

They'll lie, justify and say that they meant one thing when they said another.

Words mean nothing x"

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Everyone makes everything mean what they want it to - just to fit their own agenda

They'll lie, justify and say that they meant one thing when they said another.

Words mean nothing x"

I think you are right in some regard.

Although sometimes people just read too much into things too

It's all a brain ache.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

See them as and when, no pressure, no ties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. When I first started fabbing I was a believer in the whole shagging without strings but time and experience has taught me that realisticly there is always something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is mine definition.

Any man who just wants to fuck me and not converse with me isn't a man I'd be interested in meeting

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By *oxy_minx OP Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

This is mine definition.

Any man who just wants to fuck me and not converse with me isn't a man I'd be interested in meeting "

I agree! Unfortunately that seems to be an unacceptable concept to the men in my area

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

This is mine definition.

Any man who just wants to fuck me and not converse with me isn't a man I'd be interested in meeting

I agree! Unfortunately that seems to be an unacceptable concept to the men in my area

Relocate

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By *ustaceSmithMan
over a year ago

Saxmundham

No Strings Attached implies that no obligations arise from having sex (other than showing respect and good manners). I don't think it includes taking an interest in each other's life, and especially not if there's something big and stressful going on it. That would be a friend with benefits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No Strings Attached implies that no obligations arise from having sex (other than showing respect and good manners). I don't think it includes taking an interest in each other's life, and especially not if there's something big and stressful going on it. That would be a friend with benefits."

I've found that the majority of people wanting 'NSA' don't have manners or respect. That's why I hate the term. I'm sure many people aren't like that but oh well.

Agree about fwb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No fucking drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s my understanding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NSA means you won't have access to my cunt. I want para chord attached to my guys not just strings. I've met a guy 4 times now and slept in bed next to him twice and not fucked him. We speak every day and he'll ask to see me and I'll ask to see him equally. He deleted his account on here and wants me to follow suit, he's said he's exclusive to me I have no reason to disbelieve him. He might change once I've slept with him but I'm not gonna give it up yet.

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

Different things to different people.

To me on here the first time is always going to be potentially a "one night stand", after than a possible "fuck buddy" relationship, which can either be NSA (if an opportunity arises why not take it), or exclusive but no expectations of a full on relationship.

But you have to be clear to each other what you want, early on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NSA means you won't have access to my cunt. I want para chord attached to my guys not just strings. I've met a guy 4 times now and slept in bed next to him twice and not fucked him. We speak every day and he'll ask to see me and I'll ask to see him equally. He deleted his account on here and wants me to follow suit, he's said he's exclusive to me I have no reason to disbelieve him. He might change once I've slept with him but I'm not gonna give it up yet. "

Good luck!

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