FabSwingers.com forum: Abuse of power

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are you the type to abuse any power given to you?

Do you use it against people because you take a personal dislike to them or do you always remain neutral and objective in how you deal with them?

Are you transparent in all your dealings or do you hide behind your veil of power?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I've ever been given power. Unless you count tying someone up as 'power'. I did abuse him.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I make Stalin look like Lena Zavaroni.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt anyone abusing power is the type of person to reflect, realise or admit they are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Call me a cynic but I doubt if anyone will openly admit to abusing any power they have, even if they do. It happens a lot so by law of averages I expect that a percentage of people on here will. They may not even realise that they are mind - some are oblivious to it!

Is there a reason behind the question, do you feel someone you know is abusing their position of power?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I have none to abuse. I’m easy going even my dogs abuse their power over me when it comes to bedtime biccies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Call me a cynic but I doubt if anyone will openly admit to abusing any power they have, even if they do. It happens a lot so by law of averages I expect that a percentage of people on here will. They may not even realise that they are mind - some are oblivious to it!

Is there a reason behind the question, do you feel someone you know is abusing their position of power? "

I've worked with people like that before.

This is just a random question on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely not, my job gives me immense power over people but i would like to think I have never abused that power, it’s just not cricket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always actively encourage input and suggestions from those within my team but if they don't then carry out agreed work it's the Highway for them.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

I am the head of a multi national company and won't give any woman a job unless she fucks me first. Cue Dr evil style laugh.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've never wielded much power. I had power over my children when they were small but I don't think I abused it although my daughter learned very early to hide any chocolate she had because I'd eat half

In my working life I had a tiny bit of power at certain stages but I tried to be fair.

I allegedly have power over the cat but he and I both know that the balance rests with him.

One of the many reasons I volunteered for redundancy from my last job was because those above me abused their power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who would admit to that kind of narcissism? I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive been stopped for speeding... does that count?

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I have a lot of professional power in my job. I don't abuse it, some of my work colleagues don't share my ethics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you the type to abuse any power given to you?

Do you use it against people because you take a personal dislike to them or do you always remain neutral and objective in how you deal with them?

Are you transparent in all your dealings or do you hide behind your veil of power?"

I’m not the type to abuse any power given to me, no. Have I used power against people I take a personal dislike to, no not any real power. Have I lashed out at someone who I have been hurt by, yes. Could that have been an abuse of power, yes. Do I feel good for having ever done that, no. Did I think I felt better in the moment, yes but but I was kidding myself, it never felt good really nor resolved the hurt that I’d been feeling. In an actual position of power, such as within work etc I strive to remain neutral and objective, but I am a person and I rely on discussion on action to help keep checks and balances on any unconscious bias. I am pretty transparent in all things, I can’t help but being. The opaqueness is only ever when I myself don’t know or indeed if a situation means that I’m not at liberty to be wholly transparent, but even then I’d explain that was the case.

I try not to abuse any power differential that I am in, however there will be times when the result may be the same as purposeful abuse, even when that would not be my intent - for example, if I had to follow a course of action that would upset someone but whilst I had no desire to hurt them the course action was the choice that had to be taken. I would own and be accountable for the fact it had hurt them though.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

# politicians

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ive been stopped for speeding... does that count?

yes I'm sure it does

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

The positions, be they in rank or role I held where 'power' may have been the perception where far more about duty and responsibility to others when in that position..

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I don’t have any power I don’t think but I’m pretty transparent regardless.

I like honesty and people who play fair. I you fuck up, put your hands up, apologise and don’t do it again.

If you have power and you abuse it then shame on you. However, it shows up your lack of any sort of integrity so I never think that’s a bad thing.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

Reminds me of the story told by a prison psychologist who said that prisoners always told him their offending started when they got in with the wrong crowd, but he never met any of that wrong crowd...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

Let me be clearer then, I’ve not abused a position of power. I have abused power over someone else. I was trying to distinguish.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

Let me be clearer then, I’ve not abused a position of power. I have abused power over someone else. I was trying to distinguish. "

You spoke about lashing out at someone who hurt you. I don't think most would consider that an abuse of power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no power in my role, and have no interest in ever trying to apply to a position with any.

I don't have it in me to tell people what to do, I'd feel too much of a knob trying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

Let me be clearer then, I’ve not abused a position of power. I have abused power over someone else. I was trying to distinguish.

You spoke about lashing out at someone who hurt you. I don't think most would consider that an abuse of power. "

I would. If there’s a power differential between us and I know how to hurt them. But distinguished from someone in a structured position of power. Fine then. You can agree to disagree.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

Let me be clearer then, I’ve not abused a position of power. I have abused power over someone else. I was trying to distinguish.

You spoke about lashing out at someone who hurt you. I don't think most would consider that an abuse of power.

I would. If there’s a power differential between us and I know how to hurt them. But distinguished from someone in a structured position of power. Fine then. You can agree to disagree."

In a sense we all have power over people who have some emotional dependence on us and we can all use that power to get at people, but I don't think it's what the OP was getting at.

Anyway, I have admitted to proper abuse and no one seems to believe me....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was talking more about the abuse of power by people in some sort of authority, whether it's in a job, a group they run, online or in the real world.

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

"I was talking more about the abuse of power by people in some sort of authority, whether it's in a job, a group they run, online or in the real world."

Perhaps most abuse of power is quite subtle...control of information, emotional coercion, work overload...

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By *ineMan
over a year ago

In cave behind a waterfall on a hill

Veil of power. Sounds almost poetic even with its dark undertones.

And I'm not sure anyone me included has not used what power they may possess in some form to achieve an objective without full regard for others sometimes. But I wonder if that is abuse of power.

Veil suggests hiding to cause hurt. That strikes as a little cowardly. And I try to live in a way that if I wouldn't say something to someone's face I would never go behind their back no matter what the circumstances. Hope I manage to achieve it but that's for others to judge.

Have I hurt people by my actions; of course hasn't everyone. But I'm not sure thats necessarily power related. And I've felt guilty afterwards for causing that hurt but that again is just part of being human.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

I said I had

Not really, you said something you did "could" have been an abuse of power. That wouldn't stand up in court

Let me be clearer then, I’ve not abused a position of power. I have abused power over someone else. I was trying to distinguish.

You spoke about lashing out at someone who hurt you. I don't think most would consider that an abuse of power.

I would. If there’s a power differential between us and I know how to hurt them. But distinguished from someone in a structured position of power. Fine then. You can agree to disagree.

In a sense we all have power over people who have some emotional dependence on us and we can all use that power to get at people, but I don't think it's what the OP was getting at.

Anyway, I have admitted to proper abuse and no one seems to believe me.... "

Oh, I believe you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is the only real pleasure in my life, making you all dance and twitch my little puppets MwaHaHaHa

Eh? Time for my meds? Damn back to the ward....

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I work for the CIA and we’re forever bumping people off. It’s a great job; Travel the world, meet interesting people......and then kill them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring and no one listens to you

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

Funny, most of the offenders I deal with tell me their offending started when they were abused as children. One even went so far as to tell me he suffers from PTSD because the sexual attack he committed on a woman, reminded him of his childhood.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Quelle surprise, no one abuses power, but they know people who do.

It was just a flippant example as to how people tend to not admit to bad behaviour themselves but see it in others. Obviously, offending has many and complex causes.

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By *amdenfunMan
over a year ago

London

Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

In other words, we all abuse power, a little, if we have any, don't we? Can you raise children and avoid this completely? I know it's wrong, but - have never succumbed to bribery?

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

When I first started the role I'm in now, I wasn't really aware of power and it's various dynamics. It actually took an offender to point out how my behaviour was an abuse of power. Hence why I am now very aware of power and how something I say can have an effect on someone, even if it is a jokey comment.

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

If I have cake, I'm very choosey who I share it with.

Be nice to me and I might just let you have a nibble

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Slough

"Are you the type to abuse any power given to you?

Do you use it against people because you take a personal dislike to them or do you always remain neutral and objective in how you deal with them?

Are you transparent in all your dealings or do you hide behind your veil of power?"

I think I'd be more of a george best type and waste my power on hedonism rather than a serial abuser of it.

I don't really believe transparency is possible or desirable so in that sense i already 'abuse' the limited power i have in such minor decisions are hiring people etc. I am objective but not transparent.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Been in a position of power.

I used it sparingly, as I stayed neutral. If someone was being an idiot after I pointed out a few things, then I wouldn't hold back as I have them the benefit beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently being a white male I have loads of power and misuse it all the time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

In other words, we all abuse power, a little, if we have any, don't we? Can you raise children and avoid this completely? I know it's wrong, but - have never succumbed to bribery?"

I've never been powerful enough to warrant bribery. I have bribed my kids though. One particularly difficult dental appointment was smoothed by the promise of an S Club 7 cd. That's an abuse of power I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may use my persuasion skills to get what I want from time to time... is that abuse of power ?? Perhaps...

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

People pay me to assert my natural power over them. However its not absolute power.

They have a safe word which I respect and always get a big hug at the end of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m very objective in my job. I have to be.

Now with a submissive I may take more of a position of power in their eyes, it’s not misused though.

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

In other words, we all abuse power, a little, if we have any, don't we? Can you raise children and avoid this completely? I know it's wrong, but - have never succumbed to bribery?

That’s an abuse of your ears!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm.

I've never really been in a position of power when it came to work, not real power any way. But have I used power I've had over someone else? Yeah. Not often, but yeah. There have been a few times in personal relationships where I had more knowledge than someone else and I used that knowledge to my benefit. I think the goal was good but I was definitely using my power (knowledge) over them.

However, the bit of your question that I'd have to think more about is the difference between "using" power over someone vs "abusing" power over someone. Power dynamics are important in relationships. Not necessarily bad, either. The problem comes when use of power becomes abuse of power and that's the issue.....I bet a lot of people who abuse power don't see it that way. They probably just see it as a legitimate use of power. Just a thought....

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"I make Stalin look like Lena Zavaroni. "

He was a better singer

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"I make Stalin look like Lena Zavaroni.

He was a better singer "

With a better hairstyle

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

"I make Stalin look like Lena Zavaroni.

He was a better singer

With a better hairstyle "

She had a better tache though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I've ever been given power. Unless you count tying someone up as 'power'. I did abuse him.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I'd say more people wont abuse power than those who will. I'd say 75% will be fair left to their own devices. I think 75% will become unfair when outside pressure is brought into the equation.

Mob mentality can lead normally fair people to act unfairly as a group.

I have some military experience, and the power I had over people was sometimes total and absolute.

I never had someone of a higher rank treat me anything other than what I thought was pretty fair, and others often handed the power over to me because they thought I was fair.

However from the point of a civilian, it may have seemed like we abused our power with them.

Being manhandled by me might leave you outraged. But 100 percent of the time it was either manhandle you very roughly or murder you. From my perspective I didn't abuse my power, which would have been to murder you.

However when you spend a lot of time intimidating people who did nothing on your country and nothing on the EU I think the country is abusing its power, not the army. Add in the 25% who do abuse power, and it's something I didn't want to be a part of.

ah well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I’ve probably abused power, coercing people to do things that I wanted them to do, charming people for my own ends, using the power of logic to destroy a weak argument even though I knew they were right.

Even unconsciously when I made it clear I was sexually attracted to someone who worked for me.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Not with people that I recall ever, and I was the boss, but I did do things with horses that I later came to consider wrong after I studied a more spiritual horsemanship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, not ever, I make a point of making sure of that, a dominant who abuses his position of power, be it in or out of the bedroom/dungeon/empty warehouse is not a dom worth knowing

A piece of suit basically

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell yes!!!

I was bullied by a co worker many years ago. When I was eventually given a role of "power" over her. I "made" her leave!

Did it feel good? Damn fucking right it did.

After she left I had others come to me and thank me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, the abuse of power is abhorrent and any manager doing so should not be a manager.

I've been a manager and always led from the back, observing. Overseeing and being able to deal with issues as they arise. Your workers are the company backbone. Keep them happy you will have a good business.

Leading from the from and your closed off and blinkered.

Everyone was treated with respect and everyones opinion valid.

My mentor always said "never look down on people,unless you are helping them up. Always stuck with me.

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