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Not getting the hint ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it "

Hmmm, I guess you need to ask yourself why you're doing it? Is it obsession on your part or do you think he's still interested? If the former, are you breaking a golden rule of swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it

Hmmm, I guess you need to ask yourself why you're doing it? Is it obsession on your part or do you think he's still interested? If the former, are you breaking a golden rule of swinging?"

I'm breaking so many ( of my own ) rules it's scary!

He is keen to meet me midweek ( that means married right? )

And says he's with his daughter every weekend - yet he's out with mates tonight.

Clearly I'm not even a mate.

Otherwise he would make time for me.

I'm old and ugly enough to know that if people want to spend time with you they do!

I hate myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't become obsessive.. guys don't like that shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't become obsessive.. guys don't like that shit"

I know I'm being a knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No... you're not a knob.. you're human.. but don't lower yourself to anyone's level. anyone who wanna spend time with you will put the effort in.. not the other way round x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice would be to stay clear if he’s married which he sounds like he is,nice honest post though op!.theres plenty more fish in this big pond of fab my dear get your rod out lol x

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By *ogisticalBigManMan
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Don't become obsessive.. guys don't like that shit"

You're not wrong.

It can push guys away more being too "clingy"

Chin up though OP. You'll either find someone who likes you for you and wants to spend time with you without messing you about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Geez just block the m€£$&÷= f@#$!¥...sooo not worth the energy! AND do not become psycho analytical about it. Move the heck forward.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

If you are content with texting and never really synchrinating ( is that a word?!) to meet more wheresthe harm? If you are hoping for more than that though i think you need a strong word with yourself... Ghost him for a bit... see what he does.

Synchronizing!! Thats the word i wanted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your ego won't let you let go.

Or, you have a little place in your heart for him, and you don't want to say that final goodbye (I have that problem with someone at the moment).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/02/18 21:12:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Your attachment style can influence how much you get stuck on people who don't want you. If you have a dependent attachment style or anxious attachment style, you are brought up to seek out people who will cause you pain - and being romantically rejected is a familiar feeling. Since we are always more likely to act in ways that are familiar to us, if we have a history of rejection, we are likely to seek situations where we should expect more rejection. Our brains interpret these scenarios as normal, even though we know that it is not normal to seek out scenarios that lead to pain and anguish. And there is the "different ending" explanation: If we have a history of being rejected—by a parent, for example—we sometimes subconsciously seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending next time. Only it doesn’t. It is worth remembering Einstein's definition of insanity—doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”

I found the above helpful. It’s like picking at a scab. And the just not understanding why or incessant wondering what’s wrong with yourself is a killer. I’m likely projecting, but regardless I hope you find better and treat yourself better too. If someone wants to spend time with you, they will. If someone cares for you they’d ensure you weren’t left wondering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t text him, challenge yourself not to. if he’s interested he will contact you. If he doesn’t, well then you have your answer. It’s good to make yourself unavailable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it "

I have someone like this as well lol and I still message hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been there and still feeling it.

It's like you know what you're doing is wrong and likely to turn them off you or push them away yet you can't stop!

Practically begged the last guy I was meeting to come and fuck me and it worked the first 5 times but then he said no more from you young lady!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I’ve never been there.

At the risk of sounding like a smart arse you should think of the advice you’d give a friend in that situation. Then take your own advice.

You don’t need me to tell you this though. We both know that. Take care of you. That’s your only job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you both happy enough to stay as is. A sexy penpal that you can accept will go nowhere ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep. Been there too.although we never met, just chatted. I know she's not interested, she's told me as much but my god I'd do anything! I ended up deleting numbers etc and blocking. Easier just not having the contact at all

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Sometimes, unfortunately, when we can't have something we want it even more. It's incredibly annoying!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can’t leave it alone then just be content with txting. You do need to move on and find someone that wants to spend time with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes, unfortunately, when we can't have something we want it even more. It's incredibly annoying!!!

"

Always want what we can't have more than what's freely available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes, unfortunately, when we can't have something we want it even more. It's incredibly annoying!!!

"

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.


"OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it "

He's married

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OK - I know it's usually the single men on here that get the bad rap for not "getting the hint" and being a little bit pushy.

But I have to confess to doing it myself with just one man who clearly isn't interested

We text every day and flirt and met just once last summer - he's not available a weekends and I work in the week.

He insists he's single.

What the fuck am I doing????

He isn't interested in me!!!!!

But I'm just not getting it

He's married"

Yes I know

I told him a few truths last night - so it's unlikely we'll be talking again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes I know

I told him a few truths last night - so it's unlikely we'll be talking again "

How are you doing? Sending love and strength. Hurting sucks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you him once and you think you are “mates”

Ditch move on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Yes I know

I told him a few truths last night - so it's unlikely we'll be talking again

How are you doing? Sending love and strength. Hurting sucks. "

Thankyou lovely xx

I'm OK

Just tired of being alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Yes I know

I told him a few truths last night - so it's unlikely we'll be talking again

How are you doing? Sending love and strength. Hurting sucks.

Thankyou lovely xx

I'm OK

Just tired of being alone"

Are we twins?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not necessarily married but the harsh reality is he's just not that into you. Making an effort shouldn't be a big deal!

I've spent the last two years practically begging for someone's love and attention. To the point I felt like I was a burden for messaging without replies, wanting to spend time with him when all he wanted was to do anything else but be with me. It eats away at your self worth and confidence. The more distant he became the more needy I found myself.

Even now I find it hard. But enough was enough. I could no longer give everything to a man who gave me nothing.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"Not necessarily married but the harsh reality is he's just not that into you. Making an effort shouldn't be a big deal!

I've spent the last two years practically begging for someone's love and attention. To the point I felt like I was a burden for messaging without replies, wanting to spend time with him when all he wanted was to do anything else but be with me. It eats away at your self worth and confidence. The more distant he became the more needy I found myself.

Even now I find it hard. But enough was enough. I could no longer give everything to a man who gave me nothing. "

There's a good book called "he's just not into you" good read

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