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If Retail Workers Were Honest

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For any people here who work in retail, if you were allowed to be honest for one day without any punishment from the manager if what you say is rude, what would you say to the customer if they ask the most dumbest of questions?

If a customer was to ask me if a certain movie they wanted to see is any good, I would probably say "nah it looks shit to be honest"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say

"No madam, you can't see the manager to complain about rising sausage prices because he is busy trying out the suppliers sausage atm and doesn't want to be disturbed XXX

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would say

"No madam, you can't see the manager to complain about rising sausage prices because he is busy trying out the suppliers sausage atm and doesn't want to be disturbed XXX"

That's a good one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's too cold in th gym"

Work up a sweat then you lazy cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My feet and back hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want to return some trousers that were too small?

Stop trying to fit your size 20 arse into a size 16 then, lard arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""It's too cold in th gym"

Work up a sweat then you lazy cunt. "

I just said something similar to my daughter about girls wearing sweat tops in their ballet lessons. If they were working hard they wouldn't need a sweat top.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Listen...if you didn't spend money you don't have in primark, bargain booze & mcdonalds then you wouldn't have went into your overdraft & then you wouldn't have been charged you stupid cunt.

Stupid cunt being my free words there

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By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London

Well you pay my wage so I agree with anything you say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Listen...if you didn't spend money you don't have in primark, bargain booze & mcdonalds then you wouldn't have went into your overdraft & then you wouldn't have been charged you stupid cunt.

Stupid cunt being my free words there "

I blame the contactless payment method. I don't keep tabs on my oyster payments throughout the week and then feel sad when they come out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not in retail but i did get a warning for my attitude towards the temps we get god they are dumbasses, I'm sure we pick them up on a special bus! .... probably a good job I'm not in retail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not in retail but i did get a warning for my attitude towards the temps we get god they are dumbasses, I'm sure we pick them up on a special bus! .... probably a good job I'm not in retail "

What were you doing to them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Here's one I have been asked on many occasions when I'm on gate and not on a till.

"Excuse me, do I get the tickets off you?"

Here's what I would love to say

"Sure just give me the money so I can eat it and magically pull the tickets out of my ass"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm not in retail but i did get a warning for my attitude towards the temps we get god they are dumbasses, I'm sure we pick them up on a special bus! .... probably a good job I'm not in retail "

I've been a temp. Your attitude isn't uncommon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not in retail but i did get a warning for my attitude towards the temps we get god they are dumbasses, I'm sure we pick them up on a special bus! .... probably a good job I'm not in retail

What were you doing to them? "

Just shouting at them some have been on the job longer than me and they still have to be told what to do, when you have 7 that all stand there or just chat instead of work, it gets a lot frustrating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not in retail but i did get a warning for my attitude towards the temps we get god they are dumbasses, I'm sure we pick them up on a special bus! .... probably a good job I'm not in retail

I've been a temp. Your attitude isn't uncommon. "

I don't mind if they try or have a go

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

'Do you work here?' (I get that a lot)

'No I just love wearing this hideous fucking uniform! Of course I do you fucking idiot'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A customer would complain about kids messing about in the screen after the film has finished and demand a refund.

Here's how it would play out in my head if a customer said that to me.

"Why didn't you come out and tell a member of staff about it while the film was on?"

"I didn't want to miss any of the film"

"Well that's your problem, isn't it? If you had gotten off your fat lazy ass and told us about it, we would have gone in and sorted the fuckers out. How can we know if there is a problem if you don't come out and tell us? We're not fucking psychic. As for the refund, no I will not give you a refund so piss off"

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city


"'Do you work here?' (I get that a lot)

'No I just love wearing this hideous fucking uniform! Of course I do you fucking idiot'

"

I get that a lot when I don't actually work in the shop. One time I just pretended I did and took a woman to the cereal section of tesco and she figured out I didn't work there when we got there and she looked at me weird.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

We get refunds daily.

Someone brings some wellies back.

'Can I have a refund please, they've split?'

Hmmmm what I want to say is...

'But they're covered in mud, it looks like you've been doing the gardening and walking your dog in them for months. Of course they're goung to get wear and tear especially as they are the cheap ones, you tight wankstain. If you haven't got proof of purchase you can piss right off!'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We get refunds daily.

Someone brings some wellies back.

'Can I have a refund please, they've split?'

Hmmmm what I want to say is...

'But they're covered in mud, it looks like you've been doing the gardening and walking your dog in them for months. Of course they're goung to get wear and tear especially as they are the cheap ones, you tight wankstain. If you haven't got proof of purchase you can piss right off!' "

Yeah lol. That would have been good saying that.

I remember years ago, one of the duty managers giving some asshole a refund after getting kicked out of a screen for shouting.

If I was a duty manager, I would have said "No you are not getting your money back so get the fuck out of this cinema before I call the police" and if he refuses to leave, I would just call the police and have them sort the twat out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'Do you work here?' (I get that a lot)

'No I just love wearing this hideous fucking uniform! Of course I do you fucking idiot'

I get that a lot when I don't actually work in the shop. One time I just pretended I did and took a woman to the cereal section of tesco and she figured out I didn't work there when we got there and she looked at me weird."

If people wear hideous shirts in supermarkets they deserve to be mistaken for an employee.

Remember the fad for white shirts with blue chequered lines on them? I mistook a man for a Tesco worker, when he wore one in Tesco.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city


"If people wear hideous shirts in supermarkets they deserve to be mistaken for an employee.

Remember the fad for white shirts with blue chequered lines on them? I mistook a man for a Tesco worker, when he wore one in Tesco. "

lol, I was actually wearing a black nike jacket, jeans and trainers.

I think people keep asking me because I kind of loiter around areas in shops thinking.

That's how the person figured out I was not an employee cause when we got to the ceral section there was one there.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m not in retail but when cold callers ring me I’m very polite but what I really want to say is this:-

‘F**k right off I already have a supplier and I am too f****g busy so leave me alone’

Then when someone rings and asks for my boss I have to interrogate them but what I really want to say is this:-

F**k right off, he’s not interested, he’s busy f*****g doing f*****g dictation for me so f**k off and bother another f****r!!!

I’m a ferocious PA at the best of times!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a retail manager myself and know how rough it can be. The amount of stupid things I get asked.

Do you work here? Well of course I fucking do in a uniform.

The one that gets me most is can you check in the warehouse please? No I know what in there down to a tee!! Anything that goes on racking goes by me and generally I don’t let the staff take anything I. To the warehouse. I swear customers think I’m lying when I see no I haven’t got this line. But I just know.

Or when they walk in store I don’t wven bother to attempt to look around, do you sell such and such and show me where. I’m sorry but if I did this for everyone there would be no stock on the shelves. I’m not a personal shopper.

Can I have this cheaper the box is ripped, no but the stock is fine so sod off.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don’t work in retail but I do have to give people directions once on site, some are a bit special and even thought my words are quite calm precise the smile says “ you really are some kind of fucking idiot arnt you”

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By *apascouseMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

This is a betting shop not a god damn coffee house, if you want a bre fuck off to Starbucks, basically used that today already

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What annoys me at work is when customers aren't specific in what they want like asking for a popcorn or a hotdogs without a Specific size.

It makes me want to go " Look, you've got eyes and a brain, haven't you? We have plenty of displays that show what there is and what sizes they are. I'm fed up of filling in the blanks just because you're too fucking stupid to look it up yourself"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Any other honest things you would love to say to a customer being a dumbass?

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

It wood Depend on the question realey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I really want to scream

‘Can you tell me where this is??’

Open your eyes for f*** said

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Me: Are you enjoying your meals?

Twat:Actually it's cold which isn't acceptable, I'm not being funny but I'm not paying for cold food.

Me: I'd never expect you to pay for cold food, however I do expect you to pay for hot food. Which it was when I brought it to your table. You fucked about on your phone for 5 mins taking selfies etc. If you'd started eating it when I brought it over it would still be hot you total fucktard.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Does the steak come with chips?

Read the motherfucking menu I put in your hand

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

This genuinely happened...

Moron: I didn't want mushy peas on my nachos.

Me: And you didn't get any, it's guacamole

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By *rozacMan
over a year ago

london

*they announced the shop was closing 10 minutes ago, can you all fuck off and let us go home now u bunch of sods*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excuse me do you work here?

No I'm just wearing the uniform for fun!

Do you sell ice?

Yes

Can you tell me where the ice is please?

Yep it's in the freezers, or we sell it in bottles you can freeze yourself.

Oh hang on, I already did say all of those!!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"*they announced the shop was closing 10 minutes ago, can you all fuck off and let us go home now u bunch of sods*"

We do 20, 10 and 5 minute warnings and we still get people trying to sneak in.

We get the burliest man standing at the gates saying 'sorry knob cheese you can't come in you should of been more organised and got here in any of the other hours in the day'.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Kids running wild..

"The lady will tell you off"

Fuck off and grow a pair you lazy excuse for a parent, discipline your own damn offspring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This box of cereal is damaged can I have it reduced?

No you're not eating the box!

There's some yogurt that's got today's date on it right over there on the other side of the shop can you reduce it for me?

No sorry we don't reduce to demand and I won't get around to that aisle until about 4pm.

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By *av_55Man
over a year ago

NE


""It's too cold in th gym"

Work up a sweat then you lazy cunt. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Listen...if you didn't spend money you don't have in primark, bargain booze & mcdonalds then you wouldn't have went into your overdraft & then you wouldn't have been charged you stupid cunt.

Stupid cunt being my free words there

I blame the contactless payment method. I don't keep tabs on my oyster payments throughout the week and then feel sad when they come out "

Contactless is then worst idea ever, I opted out after I spoke to someone who had lost & cancelled their card & contactless payments were still going through a month later. The contactless system is absolute shit!

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"A customer would complain about kids messing about in the screen after the film has finished and demand a refund.

Here's how it would play out in my head if a customer said that to me.

"Why didn't you come out and tell a member of staff about it while the film was on?"

"I didn't want to miss any of the film"

"Well that's your problem, isn't it? If you had gotten off your fat lazy ass and told us about it, we would have gone in and sorted the fuckers out. How can we know if there is a problem if you don't come out and tell us? We're not fucking psychic. As for the refund, no I will not give you a refund so piss off""

You can supervise your cinema .....? Deal with problems so your customers don’t have to?

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By *illyDudeMan
over a year ago

norh east

Your all cunts pay the price of fuck off

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By *ueen of sleezeWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Far to many things to mention about people's stupidity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""It's too cold in th gym"

Work up a sweat then you lazy cunt. "
.

You don't need the gym, you just need to walk in between meals.... Like 7 miles should do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this thread tells me is there are a lot of people working retail that are unhappy in their jobs...

Do the job properly or go work somewhere where you don't need to keep customers happy

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I have worked in Hotels & Hospitality for over 30 years. The common thought amongst colleagues over the years has been, people staying in hotels leave their brains at home.

Sites like Trip Advisor have made guests "instant experts" & continually try to tell us how to do our jobs.

EG. When making a reservation over the phone, the caller can be heard to say "I need a decent room or I'll post a bad review on T.A." We'd love to say, "go ahead, we're quaking in our boots!"

Or the people who book through Voucher sites but don't read the T&C's. Once, a guest queried why they were paying for what they'd been billed.

ME: Have you checked your Voucher terms. It entitled you to (and I listed everything) but these are extras which you have to pay for!"

THEM: We didn't read the Terms but can you cancel these bits on our bill?

ME: we cannot.

And their argument went on and on and on.

OR.

People often behave disgracefully. They do things we wouldn't expect them to do at home.

Like defacating in a bed then covering it up with the bed linen. Then trying to opt out of a £250 deep clean bill. I've had to twice threaten guests with Police action if they didn't pay up, to be told, "you cannot do that!" ( Oh yes, I could and did so)

Or the people who complain about lack of Drinks Service when they're obviously d*unk out of their skulls!" They say. "It is our Human Right to be drinking! whilst lurching all over the place!

ME: It isn't. I can withdraw service if you are d*unk.

THEM: Who do we complain to?"

ME: Ultimately, the Government - they set the rules"

And the list goes on........

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By *hyxxxMan
over a year ago

Swansea

Three times in the last year I've been asked by customers in my supermarket, along with other weird and wonderful questions. "Where do I find the ice"?

I say "oh it's in the freezer section. Let me show you".

I'd like to say "It's in the freezers. Where the fuck do you think it would be? If it was anywhere else in the store it would just be a bag of fucking water wouldn't it you dull cunt"!!

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

I'm self employed and sell a few things. A new customer wants to buy something and they say. I'm going to buy lots of these do I get a regular customer discount. My answer is.... When you're a regular customer you can ask but it's highly unlikely.

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden


"This genuinely happened...

Moron: I didn't want mushy peas on my nachos.

Me: And you didn't get any, it's guacamole "

Class.

Reminds me of

Moron: excuse me my steaks not cooked

Me: correct sir. You ordered Steak Tartar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A customer would complain about kids messing about in the screen after the film has finished and demand a refund.

Here's how it would play out in my head if a customer said that to me.

"Why didn't you come out and tell a member of staff about it while the film was on?"

"I didn't want to miss any of the film"

"Well that's your problem, isn't it? If you had gotten off your fat lazy ass and told us about it, we would have gone in and sorted the fuckers out. How can we know if there is a problem if you don't come out and tell us? We're not fucking psychic. As for the refund, no I will not give you a refund so piss off"

You can supervise your cinema .....? Deal with problems so your customers don’t have to? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All this thread tells me is there are a lot of people working retail that are unhappy in their jobs...

Do the job properly or go work somewhere where you don't need to keep customers happy "

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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago

Henley Arden


"All this thread tells me is there are a lot of people working retail that are unhappy in their jobs...

Do the job properly or go work somewhere where you don't need to keep customers happy "

No it’s that a significant minority of customers don’t know how to treat others respectfully. Or are complete idiots as often combine the two.

But they make for interesting stories

However there are some people in retail who just shouldn’t be there.

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By *or Fox SakeCouple
over a year ago

Thornaby

Meanwhile in the wonderful world of IT ...

"The computers broken, it won't let me do X"

"It's not meant to do X you moron, the problem is somewhere between the fucking chair and the fucking keyboard"

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By *eckingfudgersCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

It's the customer who asks about something and you tell them where it is or don't stock that anymore etc

And decide no that's not true then go ask your colleagues same question...

Would love to say Oi stupid fucker they will tell you same fecking eejit lol

I find it amusing

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Meanwhile in the wonderful world of IT ...

"The computers broken, it won't let me do X"

"It's not meant to do X you moron, the problem is somewhere between the fucking chair and the fucking keyboard"

"

Or turn it around re IT. I ring Support and get asked ‘have you switched on the PC?’ Of course I f*****g have switched it on!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"All this thread tells me is there are a lot of people working retail that are unhappy in their jobs...

Do the job properly or go work somewhere where you don't need to keep customers happy

No it’s that a significant minority of customers don’t know how to treat others respectfully. Or are complete idiots as often combine the two.

But they make for interesting stories

"

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always completely honest with my clients, as a Yorkshireman it's de rigeur. I think that's why they trust and respect me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottom line is some people are disrespectful gits all the time, all people are disrespectful gits some of the time.

I have mostly tried to avoid retail work, though I am doing it at the moment for a few more weeks as a teacher. It is easy work, writing the course was much harder than delivering it. But it is retail so hours are obviously restricted, and I have to manage groups of people, some of which don't want to be on the course.

In supermarkets, cinemas, petrol stations pretty much everywhere customers are expected to do more of the work themselves, so an unpaid, unskilled workforce is now supervised by a dwindling number of employees. So clashes and stupidity are bound to occur, in every case it's got to be the one getting paid that is the most civil.

I may expect the ice to be in a freezer, but some idiot may decide to place an ice freezer with the booze. So is it wrong to ask, and maybe save 5 minutes of my unpaid servitude to the God of supermarkets? If I paid to watch a film, and some idiots are messing about spoiling the film, should I miss more of it by trying to find an employee to resolve the situation, or by taking my money do they have a duty to make sure I enjoy the experience and return to give them more money?

Respect is a two way street, but all to often when it's paid for the buyer expects it to be cheep, and the seller expects it back for free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty does not pay no matter if it in retail or any type of business that how company's make money which is the same in personal life it seems when making friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would be interesting if all customers were honest for a day. Id love the opportunity to be honest to some shop assistants who are rude, unhelpful etc despite me being polite. Id love the opportunity to tell the guy who works at a local cinema exactly what i think about his "help" when i was unable to walk far and was in a wheelchair and asked for help with the lift which can only be used by someone with a special lift key ! It would be nice for it to be both ways as i am always polite to shop assistants/cinema staff etc despite some of them clearly being in the wrong job for their attitude to customers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be interesting if all customers were honest for a day. Id love the opportunity to be honest to some shop assistants who are rude, unhelpful etc despite me being polite. Id love the opportunity to tell the guy who works at a local cinema exactly what i think about his "help" when i was unable to walk far and was in a wheelchair and asked for help with the lift which can only be used by someone with a special lift key ! It would be nice for it to be both ways as i am always polite to shop assistants/cinema staff etc despite some of them clearly being in the wrong job for their attitude to customers "

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

I work in retail but I’m honest anyway! We have a lot of ‘bling’ in the shop where I work that really isn’t to my taste. If a customer remarks on a blingy item they’ve bought I’ll just say something like ‘ooh - that’s striking isn’t it?’ Or if I’m feeling particularly honest - ‘wouldn’t the world be boring if we all liked the same thing?’

Luckily most of my customers are really lovely though!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"I think it would be interesting if all customers were honest for a day. Id love the opportunity to be honest to some shop assistants who are rude, unhelpful etc despite me being polite. Id love the opportunity to tell the guy who works at a local cinema exactly what i think about his "help" when i was unable to walk far and was in a wheelchair and asked for help with the lift which can only be used by someone with a special lift key ! It would be nice for it to be both ways as i am always polite to shop assistants/cinema staff etc despite some of them clearly being in the wrong job for their attitude to customers "

Couldn’t agree more!

My customers often comment on how cheerful and helpful I am! To me that should be a given! Everyone should walk away with a smile wherever they get served! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it would be interesting if all customers were honest for a day. Id love the opportunity to be honest to some shop assistants who are rude, unhelpful etc despite me being polite. Id love the opportunity to tell the guy who works at a local cinema exactly what i think about his "help" when i was unable to walk far and was in a wheelchair and asked for help with the lift which can only be used by someone with a special lift key ! It would be nice for it to be both ways as i am always polite to shop assistants/cinema staff etc despite some of them clearly being in the wrong job for their attitude to customers

Couldn’t agree more!

My customers often comment on how cheerful and helpful I am! To me that should be a given! Everyone should walk away with a smile wherever they get served! X"

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By *an and nikkiCouple
over a year ago

TUMBLE

When a customer tries to return something without a receipt and then kicks off when told they can't return it without a receipt. Just wanna scream at them to keep there fucking receipts as it's proof of purchase.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When a customer tries to return something without a receipt and then kicks off when told they can't return it without a receipt. Just wanna scream at them to keep there fucking receipts as it's proof of purchase. "

Some customers will try to act like they bought the item just to get money out of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it is fucking cold in here... it's full of fridges wtf were you expecting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have worked in Hotels & Hospitality for over 30 years. The common thought amongst colleagues over the years has been, people staying in hotels leave their brains at home.

Sites like Trip Advisor have made guests "instant experts" & continually try to tell us how to do our jobs.

EG. When making a reservation over the phone, the caller can be heard to say "I need a decent room or I'll post a bad review on T.A." We'd love to say, "go ahead, we're quaking in our boots!"

Or the people who book through Voucher sites but don't read the T&C's. Once, a guest queried why they were paying for what they'd been billed.

ME: Have you checked your Voucher terms. It entitled you to (and I listed everything) but these are extras which you have to pay for!"

THEM: We didn't read the Terms but can you cancel these bits on our bill?

ME: we cannot.

And their argument went on and on and on.

OR.

People often behave disgracefully. They do things we wouldn't expect them to do at home.

Like defacating in a bed then covering it up with the bed linen. Then trying to opt out of a £250 deep clean bill. I've had to twice threaten guests with Police action if they didn't pay up, to be told, "you cannot do that!" ( Oh yes, I could and did so)

Or the people who complain about lack of Drinks Service when they're obviously d*unk out of their skulls!" They say. "It is our Human Right to be drinking! whilst lurching all over the place!

ME: It isn't. I can withdraw service if you are d*unk.

THEM: Who do we complain to?"

ME: Ultimately, the Government - they set the rules"

And the list goes on........

"

Can hotel workers tell whether a customer is there to meet for random sex? If So, how?

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Me : The next appointment is (time /date), would you like me to book that for you?

Them : Is that the next appointment?

Head... Brick wall.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I just want to scream

You’re patient enough to wait 1 hour to see a doctor so shut the f*** up and sit down and wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like coffee.

What kind??

With some milk.

So a cappuccino??

No black with some milk.

Americano with some milk??

No latte.

God give me strength

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like coffee.

What kind??

With some milk.

So a cappuccino??

No black with some milk.

Americano with some milk??

No latte.

God give me strength "
we're in the same line of work lol i don't work on coffees but we can swap stories lol

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire


"I would like coffee.

What kind??

With some milk.

So a cappuccino??

No black with some milk.

Americano with some milk??

No latte.

God give me strength we're in the same line of work lol i don't work on coffees but we can swap stories lol"

Look up the song 'just a cup of coffee' by Julian Moon

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sgt. Ducky on YouTube has done some hilarious videos on YouTube on customers saying the most annoying stupid things and his responses are what we all would love to say.

https://youtu.be/glOv0XHDpoA

Feel free to have a look

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By *is vixen at playCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

Many years ago I worked in the cafe of a cinema. We started keeping a list of every stupid question we got asked and when we couldn't add any more started marking off how many we got asked in a shift. There are 108 things on the list

V

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've worked in various bars and restaurants for 12 years and in a hotel for eight months... I've seen many many many things that makes me question how people have actually managed to survive up until this point in their life.

One of my most memorable 'wtf' moments was when a woman had an absolute hissy fit over the fact that her cup of tea was too full to pour any milk into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha this is great. You always get customers asking strange and not very bright questions. I worked in a tesco express and I will always remember this one customer asking me where we keep the ice. So I answered nicely the ice is next to the eggs. The best bit was I then watched him go and check

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

See that fucking huge gap there in the middle of the shelf ? ( does box shape with hands )

Can you see a white sliced on it ? Can you ?

No then. We haven't got any bread. OKAY NOW ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I would like coffee.

What kind??

With some milk.

So a cappuccino??

No black with some milk.

Americano with some milk??

No latte.

God give me strength we're in the same line of work lol i don't work on coffees but we can swap stories lol"

Hmmmmmmmmm are you two among the ones that I get rolley eyed at?

Hello a black coffee please.

Do you want milk in that ?

No. Just a black coffee please.

EVERY FUCKING TIME.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, I love my job, absolutely LOVE it. I genuinely love knowing a guest is happy and satisfied with my little contribution to their stay, I love chatting with them (even volunteering to do evening bar shifts so I can provide better, more relaxed customer service rather than the busy breakfast shift rush service) and regular guests remember me and I remember them. And I love reading reviews which talk about how good our staff and service are.

However we still get the odd idiot, but that's why the kitchen is behind a door and down a long corridor so any rants are well out of earshot, and all sorts of twisted conversations happen down there which would shock staff in other departments. It's how we cope.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

No madam, the customer isn't always right.

Sometimes the customer is a twat.

I've wanted to ssy this on so many occasions ??

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By *is vixen at playCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

On the other side of the coin, I think customers need to remember that staff are human too and sometimes might not be having a good day in their personal lives, or might have depression etc. Unless they're being blatantly rude I tend to give them a bit of leeway. We're not robots able to slap on a happy smile at all times.

I've had customers say things to me like cheer up, when I'm perfectly happy, I'm just not grinning like an idiot the whole time. I have resting bitch face, can't help that

V

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See that fucking huge gap there in the middle of the shelf ? ( does box shape with hands )

Can you see a white sliced on it ? Can you ?

No then. We haven't got any bread. OKAY NOW ?"

Ah but I’ve been in a situation where the supermarket had no bread out in the aisles. But I could actually SEE racks of it in the bakery bit behind the counter that customers can’t go behind.

So I asked “can I have a loaf of bread please”

“Is there any on the aisles?”

“No, which is why I am asking you”

“If there’s none on the aisle then we don’t have any, sorry”

“What about those behind you? Can I have one of those please?”

“Oh we’re not allowed to put those out until 4pm ...”

100% true story!! And they probably thought that I was the dumb one for asking when there was none on the aisles!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What annoys me is when customers asks tickets for a film and after I put them through and say how much it is, they then say they've got a meerkat code, lloyd's voucher or movie money.

It just makes me want to say "Why didn't you have that out ready before I put the tickets through or do you just love fucking about the staff? Here's your fucking tickets. Now fuck off"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What annoys me is when customers asks tickets for a film and after I put them through and say how much it is, they then say they've got a meerkat code, lloyd's voucher or movie money.

It just makes me want to say "Why didn't you have that out ready before I put the tickets through or do you just love fucking about the staff? Here's your fucking tickets. Now fuck off""

The stress !!!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"What annoys me is when customers asks tickets for a film and after I put them through and say how much it is, they then say they've got a meerkat code, lloyd's voucher or movie money.

It just makes me want to say "Why didn't you have that out ready before I put the tickets through or do you just love fucking about the staff? Here's your fucking tickets. Now fuck off""

Do you have a fuck off huge sign or lots of them saying ......

SAY you've got discount before buying ?

When they say ..... 2 for Mary Bobbins please. Do you say ....... Got any vouchers fuck face ? And THEN tell them the price ?

No ...... then HA ! HA on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What annoys me is when customers asks tickets for a film and after I put them through and say how much it is, they then say they've got a meerkat code, lloyd's voucher or movie money.

It just makes me want to say "Why didn't you have that out ready before I put the tickets through or do you just love fucking about the staff? Here's your fucking tickets. Now fuck off""

Next time I remortgage my home to be able to afford to go to the cinema, I’m going to be as annoying as possible to the staff there.

Just for fun

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Our kids between them have about 12 years retail experience, I've done retail security, and Jayne has worked in a service industry, and between us we could write a book about the stupid, stroppy and downright rude customers we have encountered lol.

My daughter has had myriad compliments about how helpful she is both to her face, and to the manager, and she has a great way of dealing with twats, she goes into mega-polite mode, and smiles at them, whilst explaining to them how she can deal with their "problem", making sure that it's done in front of other customers, which makes the twat look.... well, even more of a twat lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What annoys me on Mondays is that with the Cheap Monday offer where anyone can apply and get the code online so they can get their ticket for £3.99, some idiots assume that all tickets are that price without realising they need the code to get it at that price and they always ask "How do you do that then?".

I would just explain how to do it but in my head, I'm thinking "There are displays of the offer telling you what to do. You've got eyes and a brain. You figure it out"

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"Also, I love my job, absolutely LOVE it. I genuinely love knowing a guest is happy and satisfied with my little contribution to their stay, I love chatting with them (even volunteering to do evening bar shifts so I can provide better, more relaxed customer service rather than the busy breakfast shift rush service) and regular guests remember me and I remember them. And I love reading reviews which talk about how good our staff and service are.

However we still get the odd idiot, but that's why the kitchen is behind a door and down a long corridor so any rants are well out of earshot, and all sorts of twisted conversations happen down there which would shock staff in other departments. It's how we cope. "

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"What annoys me on Mondays is that with the Cheap Monday offer where anyone can apply and get the code online so they can get their ticket for £3.99, some idiots assume that all tickets are that price without realising they need the code to get it at that price and they always ask "How do you do that then?".

I would just explain how to do it but in my head, I'm thinking "There are displays of the offer telling you what to do. You've got eyes and a brain. You figure it out""

Some idiots assume that because all tickets are that price with the code ... why on earth would you need a code??

With the contempt you display for your customers maybe get yourself off to a job you enjoy?

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By *laytimenowMan
over a year ago

Essex

Customer :That's Expensive .

Me :Well that depends on how much Money you have got .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've said to a customer before that I bet your mother whished she had swallowed you.

I was the manager at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a very old regular customer lunged for a snog today and I politely turned my head and wished him well what I'd really like to say is 'fuck off you dirty old perve!'

Peach x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i could never work in retail, i have no filters so the abuse would start as soon as i was asked something stupid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What annoys me on Mondays is that with the Cheap Monday offer where anyone can apply and get the code online so they can get their ticket for £3.99, some idiots assume that all tickets are that price without realising they need the code to get it at that price and they always ask "How do you do that then?".

I would just explain how to do it but in my head, I'm thinking "There are displays of the offer telling you what to do. You've got eyes and a brain. You figure it out""

For someone who expects understanding of their particular issues, it's a shame you don't feel the need to show any understanding to your customers who may also have personal issues themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not surprised with the size of them lovely boobs!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What annoys me on Mondays is that with the Cheap Monday offer where anyone can apply and get the code online so they can get their ticket for £3.99, some idiots assume that all tickets are that price without realising they need the code to get it at that price and they always ask "How do you do that then?".

I would just explain how to do it but in my head, I'm thinking "There are displays of the offer telling you what to do. You've got eyes and a brain. You figure it out"

For someone who expects understanding of their particular issues, it's a shame you don't feel the need to show any understanding to your customers who may also have personal issues themselves."

I do show some understanding for any customer who may have not been to the cinema before and have some trouble so I help out with what I can

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)


"Can hotel workers tell whether a customer is there to meet for random sex? If So, how?"

There are things that could give it away but not always (and they don't always mean randomised hookups either but)

Turning up with no bags

Or too many bags

Looking shifty.

Asking about card locks on lifts.

Asking for lots of extra towels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What annoys me on Mondays is that with the Cheap Monday offer where anyone can apply and get the code online so they can get their ticket for £3.99, some idiots assume that all tickets are that price without realising they need the code to get it at that price and they always ask "How do you do that then?".

I would just explain how to do it but in my head, I'm thinking "There are displays of the offer telling you what to do. You've got eyes and a brain. You figure it out"

For someone who expects understanding of their particular issues, it's a shame you don't feel the need to show any understanding to your customers who may also have personal issues themselves."

Just what i thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m always honest ...... that bra doesn’t fit is the usual one

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"For any people here who work in retail, if you were allowed to be honest for one day without any punishment from the manager if what you say is rude, what would you say to the customer if they ask the most dumbest of questions?

If a customer was to ask me if a certain movie they wanted to see is any good, I would probably say "nah it looks shit to be honest""

Ever been the customer who is always polite despite the fact that when you’ve asked for help or assistance or simply a product and you get some witless gobshite who wants to give you their version of what’s on the signs, what company policy is, etc. If the signs were designed to make the offer clear and understandable the customer would likely know.... instead the barrage of other signs trying to eek the venue into profit by selling bathtubs of popcorn washed down with a basketful of fizzy shite are the things the cinema would like your customer to buy.... my first thoughts should yes I cross the threshold of a cinema aren’t “what reading can I do” or “how can I make it easy for some twat to look at me like im the gobshite when I have to deal with life, relationships, family, others feelings investments, global warming, bareback or not ? and all that twat has in his or her head is “there’s a code”.”

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By *ensual-dominant-passionMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Look are you buying it or not.. I don't want to hear you're life f'ing story to why you need to go away and think about it..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For any people here who work in retail, if you were allowed to be honest for one day without any punishment from the manager if what you say is rude, what would you say to the customer if they ask the most dumbest of questions?

If a customer was to ask me if a certain movie they wanted to see is any good, I would probably say "nah it looks shit to be honest"

Ever been the customer who is always polite despite the fact that when you’ve asked for help or assistance or simply a product and you get some witless gobshite who wants to give you their version of what’s on the signs, what company policy is, etc. If the signs were designed to make the offer clear and understandable the customer would likely know.... instead the barrage of other signs trying to eek the venue into profit by selling bathtubs of popcorn washed down with a basketful of fizzy shite are the things the cinema would like your customer to buy.... my first thoughts should yes I cross the threshold of a cinema aren’t “what reading can I do” or “how can I make it easy for some twat to look at me like im the gobshite when I have to deal with life, relationships, family, others feelings investments, global warming, bareback or not ? and all that twat has in his or her head is “there’s a code”.”

"

Woah, where did this come from? This thread was only to discuss what if we were allowed one day to say anything honest to a certain majority of idiotic customers that's all. Its not aimed at every single customer that comes through the doors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be nice if retail workers were occasionally honest. Instead of resenting the customers who keep them in a job.

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By *ensual-dominant-passionMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Retail worker - "hi how are you..."

Customer - "I'm just looking"

Retail worker - I didn't ask you that... now really what the 'F' do you want!!!

Customer - "you cant talk to me like that... I'm just looking for ideas"

Retail worker - "well we don't sell ideas... either buy something or 'F' off"

I think everyone in a sales environment would want to say this.

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"For any people here who work in retail, if you were allowed to be honest for one day without any punishment from the manager if what you say is rude, what would you say to the customer if they ask the most dumbest of questions?

If a customer was to ask me if a certain movie they wanted to see is any good, I would probably say "nah it looks shit to be honest"

Ever been the customer who is always polite despite the fact that when you’ve asked for help or assistance or simply a product and you get some witless gobshite who wants to give you their version of what’s on the signs, what company policy is, etc. If the signs were designed to make the offer clear and understandable the customer would likely know.... instead the barrage of other signs trying to eek the venue into profit by selling bathtubs of popcorn washed down with a basketful of fizzy shite are the things the cinema would like your customer to buy.... my first thoughts should yes I cross the threshold of a cinema aren’t “what reading can I do” or “how can I make it easy for some twat to look at me like im the gobshite when I have to deal with life, relationships, family, others feelings investments, global warming, bareback or not ? and all that twat has in his or her head is “there’s a code”.”

Woah, where did this come from? This thread was only to discuss what if we were allowed one day to say anything honest to a certain majority of idiotic customers that's all. Its not aimed at every single customer that comes through the doors."

A certain majority of idiotic customers....??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For any people here who work in retail, if you were allowed to be honest for one day without any punishment from the manager if what you say is rude, what would you say to the customer if they ask the most dumbest of questions?

If a customer was to ask me if a certain movie they wanted to see is any good, I would probably say "nah it looks shit to be honest"

Ever been the customer who is always polite despite the fact that when you’ve asked for help or assistance or simply a product and you get some witless gobshite who wants to give you their version of what’s on the signs, what company policy is, etc. If the signs were designed to make the offer clear and understandable the customer would likely know.... instead the barrage of other signs trying to eek the venue into profit by selling bathtubs of popcorn washed down with a basketful of fizzy shite are the things the cinema would like your customer to buy.... my first thoughts should yes I cross the threshold of a cinema aren’t “what reading can I do” or “how can I make it easy for some twat to look at me like im the gobshite when I have to deal with life, relationships, family, others feelings investments, global warming, bareback or not ? and all that twat has in his or her head is “there’s a code”.”

Woah, where did this come from? This thread was only to discuss what if we were allowed one day to say anything honest to a certain majority of idiotic customers that's all. Its not aimed at every single customer that comes through the doors.

A certain majority of idiotic customers....?? "

I meant a small majority of customers that would be idiotic. This was never intended as some anti-customer thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meant a small majority of customers that would be idiotic. This was never intended as some anti-customer thread. "

I think you meant minority... But you should pop into my hardware store, your shovel is looking a tad worn out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not in retail but stupid questions people ask like . When im stood at a bus stop and someone asks ." Has the bus been mate " ??

Me .. Yeah mate . i let it sail bye cause i love fucking standing here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I meant a small majority of customers that would be idiotic. This was never intended as some anti-customer thread.

I think you meant minority... But you should pop into my hardware store, your shovel is looking a tad worn out "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I meant a small majority of customers that would be idiotic. This was never intended as some anti-customer thread.

I think you meant minority... But you should pop into my hardware store, your shovel is looking a tad worn out "

Very funny

This thread was only intended to be a bit of fun. It was never meant to taken seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While back when in retail I had an instance where a guy wanted some paint. When he looked at the price he complained that in the DIY shop across town it was £8 and not £10 like ours. I said to him that he should probably buy it there then.

I would have but they are out of stock. He replied.

Oh, I retorted, we are only £7 when we are out of stock...

The guy looked quizically at me as I walked away smiling

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