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"I don't suck like a Dyson, and I don't have the tightest pussy on here." Who enjoys a tight pussy anyway? ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() Ah that can soon be sorted! Do you fancy a bit of ‘how’s your father’ with a slightly tubby one push wonder? The PM button is down there.. ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() Well if you read most of the super hero veris, most are past each other going to the loo in the clubs, or chatroom encounters? | |||
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"I don't suck like a Dyson, and I don't have the tightest pussy on here. Who enjoys a tight pussy anyway? ![]() The men with slim dicks? | |||
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"This is like the worst second hand car lot EVER!" Second hand cars are comfy and worn in. | |||
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"I don't suck like a Dyson, and I don't have the tightest pussy on here. Who enjoys a tight pussy anyway? ![]() Well good for them ![]() | |||
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"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp." My very nice man gets me a cushion for my knees. | |||
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"I get bored after half an hour, if that usually ![]() ![]() ![]() This made me smile ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() ![]() I was hoping to make my next time quite special ![]() | |||
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"Oh my god! I've been waiting for this post for ages. Yes, finally, I'm not alone. ![]() Its a massive club, thoughts no action ![]() | |||
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"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp." Tiny hands and loves giving Blow jobs, That sounds perfect to me ![]() | |||
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"This is like the worst second hand car lot EVER! Second hand cars are comfy and worn in. " yes yes yes, comfy and worn in ! | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A road for instant disappointment? ![]() | |||
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"Oh my god! I've been waiting for this post for ages. Yes, finally, I'm not alone. ![]() ![]() Who cares? ![]() | |||
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"This is like the worst second hand car lot EVER! Second hand cars are comfy and worn in. " Like an old pair of slippers! | |||
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"I don't suck like a Dyson, and I don't have the tightest pussy on here. Who enjoys a tight pussy anyway? ![]() A randy tom cat? | |||
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"I get bored after half an hour, if that usually ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha I hadn't thought of that! It is pretty appropriate ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() Oi, this is a thread for mediocrity! Go do your own Sexual Goddess thread!! ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() But give us a few pointers before you go! ![]() | |||
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"Finally, a club I can feel comfortable in ![]() I beg to differ! ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's a road of constant disappointment, if I just wanted a fuck I could get one whenever I want! ![]() | |||
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex. I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book. I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out! I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest. And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE! Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans? I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?! ![]() ![]() ![]() This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() Don't mock the afflicted,it's cruel! | |||
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex. I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book. I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out! I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest. And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE! Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans? I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?! ![]() ![]() ![]() This made me chuckle and ![]() | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() Aw Seeside, we need to get you laid! There must be a string of ladies willing to take your cherry! It’s my 2018 resolution my friend!! ![]() | |||
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"Finally, a club I can feel comfortable in ![]() ![]() You’re right, I should be in the “cum quick club” ![]() | |||
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"Finally, a club I can feel comfortable in ![]() ![]() Do we have an imposter!?! Burn him!! | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() On wot planet lol ![]() | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() Right that's it , please , please don't take this the wrong way Mr Seaside. I am not sure of your ideas concerning ahem.....ladies of the night but if you are not totally against the idea , I am willing to contribute money to a fund that enables you to have the most beautiful courtesan for an evening with the sole intention of popping that cherry , organisation done by someone you trust ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() Good luck You will have a hiyer chance of winning the lotto than that happening. ![]() | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fuck that _eeside! You wait until you find someone, love her, cherish her, make sweet love to her over and over again Then shag a prostitute. You don’t want to spend money on would inevitably be a 3 second shag | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No one shot deal lol an Evening at least | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() “You are paying for my time and companionship. Anything else that happens between consenting adults is purely coincidental” .. round 2 will be better!! ![]() | |||
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" This club is for thows that have had sum sex at sum point allredey. So I carnt join your club OP as ive still not had any lol ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That's my plan ![]() | |||
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"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards "Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!!" I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex | |||
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"This is like the worst second hand car lot EVER! Second hand cars are comfy and worn in. Like an old pair of slippers!" Who doesn't love a pair of comfy, fluffy slipper?? | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() I know... but I can't help it! Ffs... people on a site centred around sex and they're all shit at it!??? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards "Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!! I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex" You told me that was for a completely different reason to being bored! ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I’m just here to look at the pretty pictures! Nice tits Scarlet! ![]() ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not shit I've wrote myself some great verifications ![]() | |||
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"This post is one big . MOAN" ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Added to getting bored during sex and mentally writing shopping lists ... I never know what to say afterwards "Thank you that was nice" isnt considered a compliment by some !!! I often find myself designing a fridge while having sex You told me that was for a completely different reason to being bored! ![]() I forgot you could read these ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Not all are shit at it. For all you no i cood be a god. (or realey bad) But No one has been with me yet to find out. ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Aw you seem like a really nice chap Seeside and I’m sure there’s a gaggle of female forumites who would only be too willing to test that theory and give you a bit of a knee-trembler! Ladies! Help a brother out here!! | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm shit hot at it ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() You have a beautiful body x | |||
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"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told) Mrs x" Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() Me too.... but I'm fucking awesome at sex!!! Why would any of that impair your ability? | |||
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"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told) Mrs x Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson ![]() ![]() I wouldn't want to dysons are crap. | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Women on the forum's generally want experienced men. | |||
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"I get knackered being on top, I have tiny hands so I am rubbish at hand jobs and although I love giving kneeling blow jobs I would sometimes quite like a cushion for my knees. And weirdly my toes hurt after too long in that position and I get foot cramp." Cramps are responsible for our loudest sex sessions ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() Because I don't like going into position which squished my belly up together into loads of tolls ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() So do the ones off fab to. So how is a guy then ment to get any experience in the 1st place. | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() But I am sure it's the same with everyone on here... You only pick the best pictures. | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah I doubt he would want a pity shag anyway, I know I wouldn't | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() But it's still depicting your actual body. X | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Exactly! | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() Could you change the pony tail to pig tails? ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Your rite i don't want a pitty shag ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() Ah thank you! ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Who mentioned pity shag!? ![]() | |||
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"I am way below average. I don’t get enough practice" I need practice too. | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() ![]() Then I'd give up. No sex position I know is complimentary to belly rolls! Live with it or do something about it or give up! | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yes I know they are, But it was your comment "Ladies! Help a brother out here!!" that comes across as a pity shag | |||
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"I am way below average. I don’t get enough practice" I bet 100 pennies you've had Mor practice than me ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() ![]() I prefer belly rolls to helping hanging and flopping about. | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fairy snuff, that wasn’t the intention (just meant to be a light hearted quip! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I will.fit right in here!! Haven't had sex since Oct, I have a mum body, I wobble a lot, I don't have abs, I have cellulite, and I wear my hair up in a pony trail most of the time. ![]() ![]() Yeah I don't mind mine until I get too fat and they get in the way! ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That can be arranged but first you’ll need to give some poor bugger a chance to impress ![]() | |||
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex. I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book. I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out! I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest. And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE! Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans? I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?! ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh dear, you poor fellow. Sorry to hear about your problems! It's a shame you can't go somewhere and get help and the required training you need. I don't know where you could get some? Looks like your destined to be just like everyone else here. ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You can’t judge them all when you haven’t tried them all ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() They are claiming it... not me!! You're welcome to try them all out to see. I can't vouch for whether they'd want you to or not though! | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I hoping to get pm from yourself tbh ![]() | |||
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"Well it is coming up to a year since I last had sex, so I suppose I belong here ![]() ![]() Wait....what....how???? Really...are men blind? | |||
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"I love this thread. ( with my dodgy knees and mommy tummy - good at blowjobs though- or so I've been told) Mrs x Didn’t you know? Every woman on here sucks like a dyson ![]() ![]() A Henry is better oops did I just say that out loud ![]() | |||
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!! We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse ![]() ![]() ![]() Stamina of a donkey with a broken leg carrying bricks in india.... thats me ![]() | |||
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!! We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I struggle to get my socks off mate | |||
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!! We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Leave them on..... chicks dig it ![]() | |||
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"Laughed my tits off reading this post but I have to say I do relate to some of the comments haha!! We all wasn't blessed with 8 inches and stamina of a race horse ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex. I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book. I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out! I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest. And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE! Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans? I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?! ![]() ![]() ![]() i never believe anyone who likes to brag about how good they are at anything on here. Cause in reality they’re probably the total opposite. | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's a tongue-in-cheek thread I think poking fun at the "look how great I am and what amazing porn-star tricks I can do" nature of the site, which can get very tiresome at times. I for one find it amusing and refreshing! | |||
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"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by ![]() Any woman can be a sex Goddess. It's all about confidence, self-belief and authenticity. | |||
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"Yeah, it’s a bit of Fabicide on a Fuck site I know, but hey, compared to (seemingly) everyone else on here I guess I’m really rather mundane when it comes to sex. I’m not ‘horny ALL of time’ like many profess. Most of the time I’m quite happy to curl up on the settee with a hot chocolate and a book. I don’t really ever ‘fuck all night long’ - in fact, an hour or so then have a nice cuddle is quite sufficient really most of the time. Extend that to 90 minutes or two hours on the odd occasion and I’m really pushing the boat out! I rarely spend ‘hours down there licking a pussy’ - after about 10 or 15 minutes my jaw starts to ache to be honest. And I haven’t got a mahoosive cock or ripped physique like all of the popular guys have. You’ve gotta make do with my Dadbod and my moobs, love handles and take the VW out of the VWE! Anyone else joining my club, or am I simply an outsider in a world of sexual superstars and skilled artisans? I guess there’s little point in asking if anyone fancies a fuck, right!?! ![]() ![]() ![]() Where do I pick up my membership badge ![]() | |||
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" I'm laughing at you lot because I am a sex goddess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by ![]() Yes I know, I was going for humour ![]() | |||
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"I would love to e a sex goddess, I`m hoping fat and enthusiastic gets me by ![]() ![]() . Yes I forget that British people always use humour around sex, like a carry-on film | |||
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"Great club.. How does one join?? I have cake " Share cake. Gets you entry to a lot of places ![]() | |||
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