FabSwingers.com forum: How many chances?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

This is regarding someone who’s not on FAB, and we had plans for dinner tonight. I’ve heard nothing from him today so had to message him asking if we’re still on for it, and he’s just called saying he’s tied up with work so will be best to cancel it and rearrange for next week. Thing is, this is the second time this has happened with him and I don’t know whether I’m wasting my time here or just being an over dramatic twat? (Usually the case with me).

What do you guys think? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No more chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm as flaky as they come. I'm forever cancelling.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

None. One strike and they are out generally.

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By *09309309Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

No more. That's enough of that bullshit.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

I’d give a second chance, there wouldn’t be a third

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By *urryfannyfuntimeWoman
over a year ago

East Devon

Not worth your time.

Find someone nice who wants to get to know you.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Don't message him again, if he's that keen he will get back to you and be very apologetic, then the ball is in your court.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how much I like her. But generally a 3rd chance would be the last

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By *udemattMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

If I was you I wouldn’t stand for it, once is understandable but twice is a lack of commitment.

If he wanted to see you he would make time or skip work, I know I would!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This would be enough for me to say forget it. It doesnt bode well for the future!

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By *edwinecoupleCouple
over a year ago

st helens

Two at the most . Let them arrange a third . Then I’d cancel ??

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By *ooncat123Woman
over a year ago

Sutton

One strike rule here. I don't have the time or patience for flakes

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think you've given him enough chances especially considering you had to contact him to find out about later.

He should of let you know much sooner!! Guys hey?

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By *arlo82Woman
over a year ago

the gym and random places

No more chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes.. his loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No more than 2 what a waste of time.

Come chat with me on kik instead.

Cornwallshyguy

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

Two strikes and they are done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

depends for me if it's a genuine thing then second chance if not no more chances always make sure i am free and nothing to do before a meet don't know who be stupid enough to cancel on body like that

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By *haremoreMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Two only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't give any more chances.

Did you meet up with him after he cancelled the 1st time?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes.. his loss "

I did think that

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"No more than 2 what a waste of time.

Come chat with me on kik instead.

Cornwallshyguy

Smooth

He's right though, no more chances

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't give any more chances.

Did you meet up with him after he cancelled the 1st time?"

Hey, no. He’s come back since saying he wasn’t sure what happened but he wants to try taking me out again and...now here I am!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

One if he fucks up then that's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the prior relationship that exists.

If as in your case it's a first meet - No second chances for a stand up. 1 second chance for a late cancellation. 2 for an early cancellation.

If it's a second or more meet, 3 strikes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes.. his loss

I did think that

Sad truth I'm afraid.. but like I said his loss..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

I think it’s just an excuse personally. It’s a situation where he knew he would be busy with work bookings beforehand so I don’t know why he would have said tonight is doable! Silly man. Boring night ahead now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

He's messing you about he can't be that keen to cancel again!

Doesn't know what he's missing as you look very sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't give any more chances.

Did you meet up with him after he cancelled the 1st time?

Hey, no. He’s come back since saying he wasn’t sure what happened but he wants to try taking me out again and...now here I am! "
a bit rude to be honest cancelling on you on you like this and then telling you he's saying he's not sure what happened sounds odd to me

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

A second if it feels genuine on the first - after all, life does happen. But no third if they screw up a second time and not ev3n a second if it’s some bullshit story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes "

Exactly this. It's the way he's cancelled rather than the fact that he's cancelled that would make me lose interest completely. Can't be doing with piss takers. If he was genuine he would have contacted you as soon as he knew he couldn't make it. That's my angle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

"
keep your chin up sadly this is all part of fab experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No comms from him, then when you chase for confirmation he cancels? He's a waste of your time. How rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

Some good films out this week..

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

No more chances, two is plenty. If you had not messaged him, what would he have done? Just not turned up? Definitely not worth your time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave it for them to get in touch. Depends if you think the reasons for cancelling are genuine or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No more chances.

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Pisses me off when people forget they have arranged to meet. I always makes me feel like I’m the last thing on their mind. I would find someone else to play with

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

That is a brilliant saying.

What about the third time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giving people who don't even respect you enough to get in touch to confirm if they're meeting you on the day further chances to treat you like that sets a precedent for how they will continue to treat you...no more chances from me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pisses me off when people forget they have arranged to meet. I always makes me feel like I’m the last thing on their mind. I would find someone else to play with

Haha I think I’m gonna do just that

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By *av_55Man
over a year ago

Personaly ,, and this is just an observation ,

I would crawl over broken glass for so much as a KFC(if shop open) with your good self,,

Alas I am a simple sole ,,,

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By *ack Genuine BullMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

He must be bonkers!

I would crawl through fire and broken glass to get to a date with you!

You are very beautiful.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on to someone who puts you first. The fact you had to chase him rings alarm bells.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

I'd probably be hoping they were burning in hell and that's why they didn't make a second date. He may have been busy at work, did that mean it stopped him from being decent about it and telling you before you had to ask?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes life can get in the way of a meet/social. All depends on the situation and the reason.

I'm quite a chilled out guy so not really in to striking a person out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X

Hahahahaha love that! And so true xx

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By *appy_hedonistMan
over a year ago

Islington

Sadly, he's making you do all the running. And too much work on a Friday is a lame excuse.

Put your energy into someone worthwhile...

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

That is a brilliant saying.

What about the third time? "

Kiss my fucking arse!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

That is a brilliant saying.

What about the third time?

Kiss my fucking arse!!!"

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By *av_55Man
over a year ago

"As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

That is a brilliant saying.

What about the third time?

Kiss my fucking arse!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make him grovel and beg for one more chance. Only then accept a second date. Otherwise walk away, he is either playing games or an arsehole. Have a fab buddy on standbuy just incase! Will make you feel better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

If you were near we could of went out and had a moan and laugh.men grrr

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I agree with everyone who's said no more chances.

Once is acceptable, twice is not...and you had to contact him to find out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None, it’s his loss! You look gorgeous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Once as then I would be put off them .But if reason was true and important I may give then 2nd chance if cute .

But if 2nd chance was another excuse that's it move on block .

If you were near we could of went out and had a moan and laugh.men grrr

Damn! I would’ve loved that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The facts you've come here to question or means you know in your gut something isn't right.

Trust that instinct and grow the confidence from the validation you've received here to kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

Find a guy to treat you like you are the most Important thing in the world to him when he commits to something. No one deserves to be an afterthought

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The facts you've come here to question or means you know in your gut something isn't right.

Trust that instinct and grow the confidence from the validation you've received here to kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

Find a guy to treat you like you are the most Important thing in the world to him when he commits to something. No one deserves to be an afterthought "

Love this. Thank you so much x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

I'd happily take you out any time.

If he didn't even bother tinker you know and you had to ask I think I'd bin him of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes.. his loss "

This.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd probably give no further chances, if someone hadn't bothered to notify me, without prompts.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

He's not that into you. He couldn't be clearer.

I wouldn't waste another nano second, look for someone who counts the seconds to be with you, not someone who's indifferent.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Two at the most . Let them arrange a third . Then I’d cancel ??"

Who has time for childish mind games?

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X"

Wot is his job ?

If its 0 hour or sumthing like that then Mabey he is working as thay can just add hours wen thay like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was me that had to cancel I would want to text then speak to person and explain why I couldn't meet up, then you could express the fact that you still really want to meet and will re arrange.

if someone had arranged to meet me, then cancelled twice without very good reason, I don't think I would bother arranging anything else.

If it was a casual meet up (typically on here) then I think it's a bit different, you may give a few chances.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"The facts you've come here to question or means you know in your gut something isn't right.

Trust that instinct and grow the confidence from the validation you've received here to kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

Find a guy to treat you like you are the most Important thing in the world to him when he commits to something. No one deserves to be an afterthought "

Actually she didn't need to come here to know something wasn't right.

She has been treated disrespectively and knows it but I think she wants to give him another chance because she's lonely/bored.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"The fact he hasn't txt you and waits for you to txt speaks volumes

Yup, this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The facts you've come here to question or means you know in your gut something isn't right.

Trust that instinct and grow the confidence from the validation you've received here to kick his sorry ass to the kerb.

Find a guy to treat you like you are the most Important thing in the world to him when he commits to something. No one deserves to be an afterthought

Actually she didn't need to come here to know something wasn't right.

She has been treated disrespectively and knows it but I think she wants to give him another chance because she's lonely/bored. "

Thank you. I just wanted an opinion as I didn’t know whether I was overreacting or not, that’s all. Spending the evening with a girlfriend having a movie night and having ice cream so I’m making the most of it I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, both men and women, how many chances would you give someone who’s cancelled a first date on you twice?

What do you guys think? X

Wot is his job ?

If its 0 hour or sumthing like that then Mabey he is working as thay can just add hours wen thay like."

Good point. Depends on his job. He might not have access to his phone during the day to be able to text.

If it was me I'd base my decision on how well I knew him. I have a friend that has to cancel quite often due to work but it's a genuine reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're reasonably fluid when it comes to cancelling before the meet if there's a good window of time. It's almost factored into the arrangements.

What we have zero tolerance for is being stood up; either just silence or the they chicken out with a "Just had txt from sis/bro/mum/dad /friend need to go, I saw you though, another time". That kind of time (and money) waster is basically lower than pond scum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a cool evening ... he's obviously not seen your avatar ...yummy bum

... I'd tell him to do one if he should be brazen enough to try again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just once if there’s a genuine reason, happens again the it’s bye bye.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have a cool evening ... he's obviously not seen your avatar ...yummy bum

... I'd tell him to do one if he should be brazen enough to try again

Aha thank you! Cadbury Dairy Milk Oreo bar has my back this evening, Who needs men when you have chocolate eh

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Same thing has happened to me and I told him to 'do one'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a cool evening ... he's obviously not seen your avatar ...yummy bum

... I'd tell him to do one if he should be brazen enough to try again

Aha thank you! Cadbury Dairy Milk Oreo bar has my back this evening, Who needs men when you have chocolate eh

"
I have freddos .... Most excellent

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have a cool evening ... he's obviously not seen your avatar ...yummy bum

... I'd tell him to do one if he should be brazen enough to try again

Aha thank you! Cadbury Dairy Milk Oreo bar has my back this evening, Who needs men when you have chocolate eh

I have freddos .... Most excellent

I’ll share mine if you share yours!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a cool evening ... he's obviously not seen your avatar ...yummy bum

... I'd tell him to do one if he should be brazen enough to try again

Aha thank you! Cadbury Dairy Milk Oreo bar has my back this evening, Who needs men when you have chocolate eh

I have freddos .... Most excellent

I’ll share mine if you share yours!

"
How could I possibly refuse

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

"As mother would say fool me once shame on them, fool me twice shame on me

That is a brilliant saying.

What about the third time?

Kiss my fucking arse!!!"

It could be possible but highly unlikely!

I honestly thought the quote has a third line and slightly different , although yours does work well it's not triggered my memory.

Fool me once shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me

Fool me thrice (kiss my arse)

I've tried Google and none of the options are triggering my memory either.

So it looks like yours will stand

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