FabSwingers.com forum: Keeping your nose out

By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Isnt it hard to keep your nose out of your childrens life even when they are adults.

My son has just decided to split up with his long term girlfriend. Hes 21 shes 18. Shes a lovely girl and couldnt have chosen anyone better. But he said it wasnt going anywhere.

Hes become "friendly" with a girl hes met at work who is 25 with two children.

So far they are just friends. All i have said to him is only he can make his own decisions but what ever he wants to discuss with me i will be there for him. I have explained that being with someone with children wont be the same as someone without. But what ever he does i obviously will be there for him. I guess not many people stay with there first love but i am sad that they have split up cause she was a lovely girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he needs time to see if he'll miss her when she's not around as much as before. If he feels too young to settle down there's no point in forcing them to stay together. As for the other woman - a few wild oats to be sown maybe?

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Maybe he needs time to see if he'll miss her when she's not around as much as before. If he feels too young to settle down there's no point in forcing them to stay together. As for the other woman - a few wild oats to be sown maybe?"

Yes thats exactly what jay said. Hes a young 21 and this was his first proper girlfriend. I think they have just drifted apart. Thing is hes a really good looking lad (though i say it myself) and a right charmer and sweet talker. But yes he does need to sow a few wild oats. I think my main concern is he doesnt rush into anything to quick with this new girl. Although he is pretty sensible (sometimes)

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Its just time to try on new people and learn what fits and what doesnt. Its all a learning process that will help them in later life. Truth is we think we know whats best for them but we probably dont. Thats what experimentation is for. Know how you feel though. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once said to my mum when i was 15 that i wanted to get married before i lost my virginity.. i wanted it to be super special.

She didnt beat around the bush when she said 'try before you buy'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think back to yourself at that age.

I leave my children to make their own decisions as adults, give advice when it's asked for but keep my thoughts to myself regarding partners.

..... although there was one incident which forced my hand and I battered my daughter's then partner.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Think back to yourself at that age.

I leave my children to make their own decisions as adults, give advice when it's asked for but keep my thoughts to myself regarding partners.

..... although there was one incident which forced my hand and I battered my daughter's then partner.

I dont really have any thoughts apart from just being sad that they have split up.

At 21 i was living with a violent alcohol who was 13 years older than me. Obviously i want him to be happy thats all but just dont want him to rush into anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sons all grown up now, but if he got involved with a woman who had two kids, i wouldnt be very happy.

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By *iamondsmiles. OP Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"My sons all grown up now, but if he got involved with a woman who had two kids, i wouldnt be very happy. "

Oh i have no problem with her having children, he just has to realize there will be a difference than with someone who doesnt have children. ie organizing babysitters if they go out and her always putting the children first. I might even have ready made grandchildren

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Detach with love..

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

I know what Diamond means. Its hard when these kids are part of your life for ages and then disappear. If only our kids would consider our feelings

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

Our own son whos 23 has done nothing but sow his wild oats and with some lovely looking and lovely natured girls too, but seeems to have settled down as he has been with the same girl for 6 months now.

Only thing is she is so possesive and seems a spoilt little princess into the bargain really surprised he tolerates her behaviour but as was said we dont interfere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If im really honest I wouldnt be happy if my son was in a relationship with another woman who had children.

Ive always had a fear that he would bring home a woman my age who had kids his age.

He's 23 and he has a gorgeous sweet natured girlfriend and I love her to bits. Yeah Id be upset too if they split up. Though I dont want them to move in together yet either. I like them living at home and having money to spend and doing things they want to do. I want the best for my boys and I dont want them lumbered with a mortgage and responsibility at too young an age.

Thankfully I am very happy with the way his life is at the minute. Could change tomorrow couldnt it though and he has to live his life as he sees fit. Hard being a mum at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as my daughter was truly happy i really wouldnt care what she did xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no reason why one cannot continue to be friends with his/her son's/daughter's ex-boy/girlfriend IMHO.

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