FabSwingers.com forum: Should We?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In a shop yesterday a women was holding a child who was screaming/crying and squirming around in her arms, seeming because she couldn't have a toy she wanted. The women in question was basically just ignoring the child leaving her to scream the shop down.

Apparently in Japan they would have been asked to leave the shop/resturant etc.....should we be the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes .. screaming kids because they want something are a nightmare , babies are different they usually cry for good reason so they can stay .

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I’m not sure I’d wait to be asked if it was my kid screaming. However, I do have a bit of sympathy for parents (depending on the age of the child) when they’re having to deal with a tantrum in public. It’s not the end of the world to have to listen to a crying baby. A little tolerance is never a bad thing. So no, I don’t think we should ask people to leave a shop because of a minor tantrum. I’d rather put up with that than listen to a parent scream and shout at their kid.

I’m usually pretty grateful I don’t have kids.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes .. screaming kids because they want something are a nightmare , babies are different they usually cry for good reason so they can stay .

Did forget to say but fully agree with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems a bit harsh, my children didn't throw tantrums as such, but if they did they would have been ignored and certainly not given in to. But I imagine the last thing a parent wants when trying to deal with a tantrum is to be asked to leave a shop. But I guess it depends on the shop, trying to do the grocery shopping and shopping in boutiques are two very different scenarios, if I was in the latter I'd leave before being asked too as I'd be very conscious of the environment I was in.

Ginger

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By *eltonmanMan
over a year ago

Melton Mowbray

Id say no to removing them from the shop, but could be asked to calm the child down.

Can remember getting a smacked bottom for being unruly in a shop as a child, but of course parents arent allowed to do that anymore

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

It's the ones in prams that are screaming for apparently no good reason that fuck me right off, especially when they seem to follow me round wherever I go

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As the parent of a child who used to throw a bright red, sweating,screaming tantrum while going as stiff as a board I was only too well aware of other people's disapproval and discomfort and where possible would remove myself and the sweaty bundle under my arm. However sometimes it just wasn't possible and on those occasions a little tolerance and possibly even sympathy from other people went a long way to helping a parent who was already stressed beyond belief.

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

A child screaming for what ever reason is not a pleasant experience especially if your the parent and touer child is having a paddy for a reason or not. You can't reason with a screaming child.

I think people should be more tolerant rather than ask you to leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a shop yesterday a women was holding a child who was screaming/crying and squirming around in her arms, seeming because she couldn't have a toy she wanted. The women in question was basically just ignoring the child leaving her to scream the shop down.

Apparently in Japan they would have been asked to leave the shop/resturant etc.....should we be the same?"
no they should remove the intolerent people its difficult being a shopoholic mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

better they scream a bit and still dont get what they want than be calmed down by getting their own way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Also if we insist on removing people from shops because they're annoying us I would be the only person in the supermarket.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst shopping no I don’t think they should be asked to leave and ignoring a child within reason is part all part of parenting.

In a restaurant, assuming we’re not talking Nando’s & the like for example, then as a parent I’ve excused myself and tantruming child from the vicinity until calm has been restored.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who doesn't particularly like kids... yes! so we don't all have to suffer!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst shopping no I don’t think they should be asked to leave and ignoring a child within reason is part all part of parenting.

In a restaurant, assuming we’re not talking Nando’s & the like for example, then as a parent I’ve excused myself and tantruming child from the vicinity until calm has been restored."
that demands a oh what a great mother with great breasts retort

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"better they scream a bit and still dont get what they want than be calmed down by getting their own way. "

The child didn't scream a bit it was full bore persistent and didn't stop even after they finally left the shop.

Japan appears to have a philosophy that the overall good trumps ab individual, bring it on I say.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Sometimes you can't help a child throwing a strop, kids do it at certain ages.

However for me when mine were little I took myself away from where they were throwing the strop, mainly as I hated being stared at by other people who had probably forgot what it was like to have a toddler throw a strop.

I was obviously younger then, I wouldn't now, I would probably stay in the queue and buy what I needed

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who doesn't particularly like kids... yes! so we don't all have to suffer!"
Awwwww that's sad why don't you like kids?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

Exactly this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

How does this make a parent lazy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

Modernity appears to be me, me, me and sod everyone else, see it everywhere now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Noisy children in public places - my pet hate! And those selfish parents who think everyone else has to be subjected to the noise. Particularly bad in public transport or art galleries. This is quite a modern phenomenon, children always used to be removed, or at least some effort made to quieten them down, when clearly causing a nuisance to others

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"As someone who doesn't particularly like kids... yes! so we don't all have to suffer!Awwwww that's sad why don't you like kids?

I only like my own kids. I'm not keen on other people's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've all been children believe it or not. So the chances are you've been one of them screaming kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well as a parent of an autistic child who struggles out shopping with having meltdowns and screaming I’d be mortified to be asked to leave. We struggle with dealing with the behaviour so a bit of tolerance would be nice instead of all the looks. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly not thrown out, but some parents need more self awareness sometimes. Also, and I'm not using it as an excuse, but some kids might have conditions where they might throw tantrums and might be hard to control, and the parent might be stressed out over the 67th tantrum of the day.

(Coming from someone who works in a stressful environment that's often full of families and kids!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. A child has to learn that crying for something won't get a reaction. Taking the child away is a reaction: and may be one the child wanted.

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By *heBirminghamWeekendMan
over a year ago

here

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

How does this make a parent lazy?"

Why would they not remove themselves from the public situation and not affect everyone else around them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who doesn't particularly like kids... yes! so we don't all have to suffer!Awwwww that's sad why don't you like kids?

I only like my own kids. I'm not keen on other people's."
oh well that's a plus

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What I take exception to is parents allowing their children to run about in supermarkets or restaurants (I exclude burger chains etc from that). I also dislike adults who block aisles, talk loudly, are rude to shop workers, talk on their phone while being served or leave headphones in while talking to staff and would advocate those people being removed also. They get right on the only nerve I have left and ruin my shopping experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anybody would have said to me in a shop can you leave when my kids was screaming I’d have flipped out then,kids are kids it happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No. A child has to learn that crying for something won't get a reaction. Taking the child away is a reaction: and may be one the child wanted.

And how about everyone else in the vicinity? If you're in public shouldn't some consideration be given to them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree with Ang.

We don't know the full story as the child may have a form of autism and the parent was dealing with it in a way that is probably tried and tested.

Not all disabilities are visible after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not a lazy parent and refuse to argue with anyone never mind my own kids, so if they’re having a paddy/screaming fit after being told no then yes I’d ignore them! My kids would know I’m not going to budge so would stop after a couple of minutes as they hate being ignored!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also if we insist on removing people from shops because they're annoying us I would be the only person in the supermarket.

All those old people chatting in the aisles, clogging them up.

And let's not forget the cheerful chappy who whistles and insists on speaking to all and sundry, in really loud voice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

How does this make a parent lazy?

Why would they not remove themselves from the public situation and not affect everyone else around them? "

I can think of plenty of reasons.

They might need the thing they're buying and not have time to leave the shop and return later, they might be on their way to work, to pick up another child etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I take exception to is parents allowing their children to run about in supermarkets or restaurants (I exclude burger chains etc from that). I also dislike adults who block aisles, talk loudly, are rude to shop workers, talk on their phone while being served or leave headphones in while talking to staff and would advocate those people being removed also. They get right on the only nerve I have left and ruin my shopping experience."

I agree particularly with the first part. I work in a hotel and some parents let their little darlings use the dining room as a playground.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Also if we insist on removing people from shops because they're annoying us I would be the only person in the supermarket.

All those old people chatting in the aisles, clogging them up.

And let's not forget the cheerful chappy who whistles and insists on speaking to all and sundry, in really loud voice. "

Don't get me started!

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

Apparently in Japan they would have been asked to leave the shop/resturant etc.....should we be the same?"

yes, great idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

This Is absolutely fine, but doesn’t excuse the lazy parent from removing themselves and child from any public situation where it is affecting /disturbing everyone else around them.

Modernity appears to be me, me, me and sod everyone else, see it everywhere now."

i think ignoring a childs tantrum is the opposite actually, shutting them up by giving in far more 'me, me, me'. Its not always practical to just remove yourself and them if youre out shopping or something....that stuff still has to get done..as they grow. the less theyve been given on to the less tantrums they will have, theyre not stupid,if something doesnt work, they soon learn that..

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"As someone who doesn't particularly like kids... yes! so we don't all have to suffer!Awwwww that's sad why don't you like kids?

I only like my own kids. I'm not keen on other people's."

I've never had kids, but I love other peoples' as you can always give them back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also if we insist on removing people from shops because they're annoying us I would be the only person in the supermarket.

All those old people chatting in the aisles, clogging them up.

And let's not forget the cheerful chappy who whistles and insists on speaking to all and sundry, in really loud voice.

Don't get me started!"

Oh I agree, hell is most definitely other people but nothing quite so hellish in my opinion as squealing/screaming children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many people just don't seem to have respect for others anymore.

There was a kid shouting in a cafe yesterday and his gran was just ignoring him. It made the environment very tense. So many parents just sit there messing with their phones while the kids run wild.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes throw them out, children are absolutely horrible things when they open their mouths. One of the reasons i won't breed, who needs one of those in their life?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely this. A lot of adults are extremely selfish in shops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also if we insist on removing people from shops because they're annoying us I would be the only person in the supermarket.

All those old people chatting in the aisles, clogging them up.

And let's not forget the cheerful chappy who whistles and insists on speaking to all and sundry, in really loud voice.

Don't get me started!"

agreed.

When i see a mum/dad dealing with a screaming toddler i feel sympathy for the parent! It's extremely stressful dealing with a toddler who is throwing a strop and you are on your own and NEED the thing you've gone in for.

Not everyone has someone that can watch their kids so they don't have to take them shopping. Online shopping you need to spend a minimum amount, not good if you just have a £10 to last the week and need something.

I've seen some mums leaving the shop close to tears with their screaming kids, clearly stressed out themselves.

And you have plenty of rude twats who think they're big and clever by saying something derogatory about their parenting skills as they walk past. That is not helpful.

I just think, "there but for the grace of god go i". And quickly tell the posse of OAP's to stop hogging the aisle and let me get my milk!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Many people just don't seem to have respect for others anymore.

There was a kid shouting in a cafe yesterday and his gran was just ignoring him. It made the environment very tense. So many parents just sit there messing with their phones while the kids run wild.

See this all the time, especially the guardian whose behaves obliviously to their darling supposed charges!

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By *xycpl699Couple
over a year ago

kilmarnock

"As the parent of a child who used to throw a bright red, sweating,screaming tantrum while going as stiff as a board I was only too well aware of other people's disapproval and discomfort and where possible would remove myself and the sweaty bundle under my arm. However sometimes it just wasn't possible and on those occasions a little tolerance and possibly even sympathy from other people went a long way to helping a parent who was already stressed beyond belief."
totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst shopping no I don’t think they should be asked to leave and ignoring a child within reason is part all part of parenting.

In a restaurant, assuming we’re not talking Nando’s & the like for example, then as a parent I’ve excused myself and tantruming child from the vicinity until calm has been restored.that demands a oh what a great mother with great breasts retort

Far from it on the great mother side. I just know what I find irrating and act accordingly where and when I can.

However, if I was to get a whiff of disapproval to the likes that’s been showed on here I would sit tight and let all hell commence....

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Don't attack people because they have a different view than you

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Looks like we have gone onto different places now...yeah really annoys me when kids are allowed to do what they want while I am trying to eat my dinner somewhere. They should get their faces out of their phones and control your children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Supermarket profits would plummet if they threw out people with screaming kids. You're not their for a social experience, it's shopping nothing more. You wouldn't expect to ban howling kids from a high street.

Restaurants and cafes and places, people are their to be social so different etiquette should apply.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

If the child is a toddler they will throw a tantrum anywhere, that is what they do. It is how the parent deals with it more the issue. Ignoring the child is sometimes the only option as talking to them or distraction doesn't always work.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

"Well as a parent of an autistic child who struggles out shopping with having meltdowns and screaming I’d be mortified to be asked to leave. We struggle with dealing with the behaviour so a bit of tolerance would be nice instead of all the looks. X "

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

I have tried that too and got the same, but, one time the child stopped as if to say who the f*** are you, can't you see I am throwing a tantrum here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them. "

No. The world does not revolve around people's children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a mama. Luckily I made a reserved and quite laid back gal. I’d have been mortified if she subjected me to tantrums as above. Kicking us out of a shop would have mortified me more.

However I completely understand that kids do act like that. It’s a little irritating but it doesn’t impact on my day. It happens. Why make it worse by kicking them out? Maybe ask if mama needs a little help if she’s struggling. Why stand there and tut? Eye rolls never changed the world.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them.

No. The world does not revolve around people's children. "

No but it should be less ignorant of the disabilities some people have.. not just children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them.

No. The world does not revolve around people's children. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No the parent would be wound up enough you are likely to get told to fuck right off or feel my boot up your arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All shops / restaurants should provide high chairs in a sound proof clear box , supermarkets should provide a trolly with a sound proof child seat . Love kids really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them. "

Thank you, yes it’s very true. My sons are adults and over 6ft talk if they throw a meltdown now it’s much more spectacular than when they were a child. I’ve worked hard to get their behaviour socially acceptable. And never have I allowed bad behaviour, just had to deal with the behaviour from their disability. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

I have tried that too and got the same, but, one time the child stopped as if to say who the f*** are you, can't you see I am throwing a tantrum here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

Yes our kid did behave like that at home. Our way of dealing with it was to ignore it, if I felt that I was reaching the end of my tethered would carry them to their room, lay them on the floor and walk away. What do you suggest we could have done differently that would have prevented it? Genuinely interested not just arguing.

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By *cduck and Blue eyesCouple
over a year ago

nr chester

Show me a parent that says they’ve never had a toddler that has had a temper tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!

I think she absolutely did the right thing by ignoring the little ones tantrum, and I’ll tell you something else it’s one of the hardest things to do!

My are all grown up now and are turning into beautiful, clever young adults, all are doing amazingly well at school and needless to say I am so proud

Yet I had my fair share of tantrums in public places with all 3, we’ve brought them up well, we’ve taught them to be polite with wonderful manners, they’ve always sat at the table to eat and always been taught to sit nice when in a resteraunt, I can quite positively say that I’m not a lazy mum, I’m not an inconsiderate person, I’m fully aware of my surroundings and my responsibilities as a parent and a part of society, yet first and foremost and the most important part in society I have played is bringing up responsible young adults whom will go on to also play a responsible part in society and if part of that has been allowing them to have their tantrums under my watchful eye without giving in to all and every thing they think they want or need well then I’m proud of that, as for the judgemental brigade, well they know where the door is!!!

I myself have nothing but admiration and always give a knowing sympathetic smile, and will often comment on how we’ve all been there and it will get easier, maybe stop and think next time, that mother could be the one that is at breaking point, trying her best, yet ready to give up, they could be suffering, and a smile goes a hell of a lot further than a scowl!!!

Mrs blue eyes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

I was offered help by one woman, once. I was trying to get my kid into the pushchair when he wouldn't bend in the middle and seemed to be just an open mouth with screams issuing forth. This was because their sibling had gone in to school and they wanted to go with them. She stopped, sympathised and offered to help. I could have hugged her. Nobody else ever offered, they just glared or made unfavourably judgemental comments.

The world it seems is full of perfect parents who are experts on other people's children. I wish I had their expertise and knowledge.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Show me a parent that says they’ve never had a toddler that has had a temper tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!

I think she absolutely did the right thing by ignoring the little ones tantrum, and I’ll tell you something else it’s one of the hardest things to do!

My are all grown up now and are turning into beautiful, clever young adults, all are doing amazingly well at school and needless to say I am so proud

Mrs blue eyes"

Yes, I make a point of smiling and making a supportive remark and if I think its needed offering help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

The world it seems is full of perfect parents who are experts on other people's children. I wish I had their expertise and knowledge."

Wouldn't bend in the middle made me laugh. I've had that so many times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admit, screaming children bug the hell out of me. And I used to be one of those frustrated, judgemental people.

Then my nephew was born and he is severely autistic and completely non-verbal. He has total meltdowns; sometimes because he is over-stimulated or sometimes due to frustration. And my sister feels very ashamed and embarrassed when it happens in public because she feels like everyone is looking at her and judging her for being a bad mother. But you can't reason with him because he doesn't understand. And she has to deal with it on a daily basis and with very little sleep, and it's so hard for her. And it's hard for him too; because even though he is nearly 5, he doesn't understand that it's not socially acceptable to scream in the middle of a supermarket.

So... I still hate screaming kids. And there certain places - like expensive restaurants - where I would not expect it to be tolerated. But now I try to be more compassionate because I don't know that family, I don't know their circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I believe the children are our future

Teach them well and let them lead the way"

Absolutely, otherwise what we let them get away with they will let theirs get away with even more.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

If they're in the middle of a grocery shop, then you have to carry on with it, regardless of screaming child. If you're just browsing in a shop, I would think most parents would take the child out. I don't think they should be asked to leave.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

The world it seems is full of perfect parents who are experts on other people's children. I wish I had their expertise and knowledge.

Wouldn't bend in the middle made me laugh. I've had that so many times

I used to sometimes use a gentle, encouraging knee to get him in his pushchair. Don't tell anyone though, they'll think I'm a bad mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

The world it seems is full of perfect parents who are experts on other people's children. I wish I had their expertise and knowledge.

Wouldn't bend in the middle made me laugh. I've had that so many times

I used to sometimes use a gentle, encouraging knee to get him in his pushchair. Don't tell anyone though, they'll think I'm a bad mother

Such a relief when those straps click shut isn't it and you know you've trapped the little buggers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I admit, screaming children bug the hell out of me. And I used to be one of those frustrated, judgemental people.

True, but the fact is that the majority of children misbehaving in public are, I would be willing to bet, not autistic

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Modern parenting seems to favour the child being left to scream/cry their tantrum out .

That's part of the dance of retaphorphcey,( not sure how to spell that).

Unfortunately very young or people with a disability, not all haven't learnt how to calm down or why they get upset in the first place.

My daughter would have meltdowns that lasted hours.

I would remove her from public places for her not the surrounding people.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Apparently in Japan they would have been asked to leave the shop/resturant etc.....should we be the same?"

Yes show them the door! Why should I have to listen to a kid having a paddy! I never did it, I was taught by my parents how to behave when out! Parents give in to kids too much these days

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

The world it seems is full of perfect parents who are experts on other people's children. I wish I had their expertise and knowledge.

Wouldn't bend in the middle made me laugh. I've had that so many times

I used to sometimes use a gentle, encouraging knee to get him in his pushchair. Don't tell anyone though, they'll think I'm a bad mother

Such a relief when those straps click shut isn't it and you know you've trapped the little buggers

Yep and you can wheel them home arched rigid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it’s actually the parents who are selfish too. Was in a shop yesterday , child in pushchair, clearly tired, rubbing his eyes and crying. Mum and Nan still looking at clothes for themselves in no rush! I thought just walk him outside somewhere so he falls asleep instead of making him sit there like they did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

Both were brought up knowing that "no always meant no" and no matter what I never backed down even afterwards. As well as that they understood that bad behaviour resulted in consequences and "punishment". No, not like that! but like you, once the boy wouldn't go in is car seat for his mum so I forced him in and, yes, shouted at him, he never refused again. Sorry, but generally children can not be reasoned with, they need to know who's in charge and what's expected of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sometimes it’s actually the parents who are selfish too. Was in a shop yesterday , child in pushchair, clearly tired, rubbing his eyes and crying. Mum and Nan still looking at clothes for themselves in no rush! I thought just walk him outside somewhere so he falls asleep instead of making him sit there like they did. "

All heartedly agree with that, we've delayed shopping until they were asleep.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This!

The sensory overload to a child on the spectrum or an adult for that matter is really challenging.

What looks like a tantrum to other people could actually be the only way they can express how they are feeling.

While I understand it's at times hard for people to watch or hear, believe me when I say it's a million times harder for the child/person.

We can not and should not be changing our children to fit in with the world. The world should adapt for them. "

I've often wished there was some sort of universal sign of fellow parent support when I see a stressed parent dealing with a tantrumming child. A way of providing some moral support and empathy without interfering.

I had generally assumed that the looks I got in supermarkets were similarly from parents who understood how horrible it is to deal with a child who had just lost it because they are tired and 'need' a new cuddly toy one hour into your one and a quarter hour window to do the weekly shop. Reading this thread I realise how wrong I was..

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I've ignored my child having a screaming fit in a shop because I wouldn't buy him something. I refuse to give into a child's tantrum just to escape the disapproving looks from others. I would rather be thought of as a bad mother for the noise than actually be a bad mother and give in and validate bratty behaviour and buy the 'little darling' that massive bar of chocolate.

I don't think someone should be asked to leave a shop, restaurant maybe. It depends on the restaurant, if it's a kiddie place MaccyD's etc you expect it, also if the parents are just ignoring the kid or actually trying to calm them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go prepared with my noise cancelling headphones on & a list that follows the layout of the shop.

I'm in & out & don't pay any mind to the people screaming around me, unless it's a zombie apocalypse. I'd turn my earphones off for that.

In general crying children sound much nicer as classical music.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is hilarious!

As a mum of 3 I know only to well the agony of a screaming kid and you know what they choose the most inappropriate times to do it too. there’s nothing worse then having ppl tut and stare whilst your trying to control the situation, pack your shopping up as fast as you can so you can actually feed the screaming little bugger throughout the week!

Well you know what that child is like every other human it’s learning how to behave and how to be! Would I leave a restaurant with my screaming kid... yes I would I’d take the child out give it a time out near a wall or where every my creative naughty step could be.

Would I leave a super market? No I wouldn’t I would get my shopping as fast as I can whilst trying to calm the situation and stay calm myself! Because that child needs to learn that food shopping is a need and by taking the kid away is giving it its own way.

If someone asked me to leave in that built up situation lol well god help that person because that awful situation would all come on that person.

My kids are way way over the paddying stage thank god.

But when I see a poor mum trying to deal with a child in a tantrum I sympathise with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All kids throw strops if u ban all kids and parents from shops when they do revenue would take a nose dive as parents will think twice about frequenting a shop where your only welcome if your child stays quiet and can't express their desire be it in a whingy way

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes they should. Can't stand the sound of screaming children anywhere; shops/resturants/ especially on planes(screaming babies I don't mind so much)

I wish someone would start an airline that didn't allow children on.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Yes they should. Can't stand the sound of screaming children anywhere; shops/resturants/ especially on planes(screaming babies I don't mind so much)

I wish someone would start an airline that didn't allow children on.

I agree. I went to Barbados Xmas 2016 a guy got on with a small baby, sat the row behind me, baby screamed for nion 9 hours and he was allowed to change the baby in the cabin, absolutely stunk, the crew encouraged it. Worst flight of my life and I had saved for years for that holiday! I just had to put up with it on the flight but it was not pleasant.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

As a mother of an ASD child, I've dealt with more screaming meltdowns that I can count.

It's not always possible to calm some children down, no matter what you do.

Personally, I chose to leave, as it's obviously something about the environment that had triggered my sons behaviour.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

[Removed by poster at 18/02/18 14:13:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a mother of an ASD child, I've dealt with more screaming meltdowns that I can count.

It's not always possible to calm some children down, no matter what you do.

Personally, I chose to leave, as it's obviously something about the environment that had triggered my sons behaviour.

Dealing with intolerant people who have no idea what's going on getting tutted at, disapproving looks, sarcastic comments, is the last thing any mother needs in that situation, and yes I have tongue that will shred anyone who does such to me when it's happened "
I've had the looks too especially when I go to tell my kids off and they look down their nose at you even told one old fart if he didn't bigger off and keep his snide remarks to himself I'd happily feed him my fist and forget my mother brought me up to respect my elders because I was so wound up .what people forget is that kids don't like shopping they want to play or watch TV not get dragged round shops being told don't touch and don't ask

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

I would be interested to know the amount of people who have said yes as to how many have kids lol

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

[Removed by poster at 18/02/18 14:20:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let the child scream. I ignored mine when they were toddlers. They never got their own way. So what if a child annoys other shoppers. If they dont like it bugger off home and do a internet shop. The day is long gone where a parent could smack a child and rightly so. If you give in to a child you might as well give up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should put the child against the wall and throw broccoli at them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All kids throw strops if u ban all kids and parents from shops when they do revenue would take a nose dive as parents will think twice about frequenting a shop where your only welcome if your child stays quiet and can't express their desire be it in a whingy way"

Or the parent would learn to control their child!

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Let the child scream. I ignored mine when they were toddlers. They never got their own way. So what if a child annoys other shoppers. If they dont like it bugger off home and do a internet shop. The day is long gone where a parent could smack a child and rightly so. If you give in to a child you might as well give up."

Spot on my friend

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or the parent would learn to control their child!

"
kids get tired they get bored they get over stimulated u can't cater for every mood swings and as a rule mine are good but sometimes they play up and a sharp word is needed but at least mine don't mug old ladies or get into trouble in public or do drugs so I'm guessing I'm doing a good job so if they throw odd tantrum I'll deal with it and don't need some snotty comments telling me how to raise them or control them as on a whole they're good kids and I sympathize with other parents that have to deal with a stroppy kid as been there not condone them as unfit parents and if that doesn't fly with people on here tough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

"
and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor kids bored out of their skulls being pushed around a boring clothes shop. And being told to shut up when clearly they're so tired they're besides themselves.

Then there's kids watching cartoons on phones or tablets, or with little toys to play with and they're perfectly happy.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside"

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor kids bored out of their skulls being pushed around a boring clothes shop. And being told to shut up when clearly they're so tired they're besides themselves.

Then there's kids watching cartoons on phones or tablets, or with little toys to play with and they're perfectly happy. "
why are mum and gran being selfish mum probably needs a treat and gran is treating her and what do u suggest they park the kid up wait for him to settle and then go about their business it don't work as easy as that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really dislike the idea of going in tescos where a child might be having a tamtrum just go late at night. 24/7 Nowadays.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"If you really dislike the idea of going in tescos where a child might be having a tamtrum just go late at night. 24/7 Nowadays."

Or the could just grow up and get over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And as for the people on a plane there's those wonderfully inventions called ear plugs as babies can't help their ears Popping at altitude I just hope your more tolerant when it's your kids

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By *cduck and Blue eyesCouple
over a year ago

nr chester

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

"
. That would be me, and I stand by my statement, I take it you were a full time dad then, to be able to state that neither ever had a tantrum, ever!!!! Only my hubby wouldn’t have known every tantrum my little ones had whilst he was out at work!!! Also you say further up that you would wait until they were sleeping to shop, but why? You would have no fear of them having a tantrum because that didn’t have them, that wouldn’t have them, as you have stated they knew not to have them, so you needed not to ever worry about where you were or what you were doing!!!!

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

. That would be me, and I stand by my statement, I take it you were a full time dad then, to be able to state that neither ever had a tantrum, ever!!!! Only my hubby wouldn’t have known every tantrum my little ones had whilst he was out at work!!! Also you say further up that you would wait until they were sleeping to shop, but why? You would have no fear of them having a tantrum because that didn’t have them, that wouldn’t have them, as you have stated they knew not to have them, so you needed not to ever worry about where you were or what you were doing!!!!

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes"
my youngest come out screaming and screamed for 5 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes"

I've yet to meet a child that didn't throw a strop and as a martial arts instructor I've met a few and the worst happen to have parent in professional jobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking."

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yours

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

There was a time when a couple of Mortusins and an ASDA had crèches. It was a godsend. I could put all three of mine in while I shopped. Even had time for a cuppa in the cafe.

Even shopping centres had crèches. Sadly they seem to have closed. There are alternatives if the shops and shopping centres brought them back. I’d spend more and be less stressed.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yours"

Not surprised at all ...if anything your comments sound just like the kids the OP is talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yours"
so it's ok to lambast the parent for the kid throwing a wobbly then because you don't like kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yoursso it's ok to lambast the parent for the kid throwing a wobbly then because you don't like kids"

What I am saying is, parents need to realise that some people are not going to be indulgent towards their child's bad behaviour because they have chosen not to have children themselves and don't want to be inconvenienced or annoyed by yours, which are your responsibility to educate/control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poor kids bored out of their skulls being pushed around a boring clothes shop. And being told to shut up when clearly they're so tired they're besides themselves.

Then there's kids watching cartoons on phones or tablets, or with little toys to play with and they're perfectly happy.

why are mum and gran being selfish mum probably needs a treat and gran is treating her and what do u suggest they park the kid up wait for him to settle and then go about their business it don't work as easy as that "

They're selfish because they're dragging the poor kids round boring shops and telling them to shut up. Give the kid a toy or something to do and make the day more fun. Kids get bored in shops. Distract and entertain them.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

All I would say to you is thank God your parents didn't have the same opinion as yourself on kids otherwise you would not be here with the freedom to express your opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, thank you for agreeing that I can express my opinion. And my parents brought me up with the good manners to consider other people in a public place

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes"

To be fair my second didn't have tantrums, I think it was probably a fluke rather than anything I did though knowing how toddlers minds work

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

[Removed by poster at 18/02/18 15:32:13]

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Oh, thank you for agreeing that I can express my opinion. And my parents brought me up with the good manners to consider other people in a public place "

And i bet you never had a tantrum out lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, thank you for agreeing that I can express my opinion. And my parents brought me up with the good manners to consider other people in a public place

And i bet you never had a tantrum out lol lol"

If I did I was taken away out of consideration for others. This is what comes down to, really, good manners, which are sadly lacking in many of today's parents, and subsequently, their children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Oh, thank you for agreeing that I can express my opinion. And my parents brought me up with the good manners to consider other people in a public place

And i bet you never had a tantrum out lol lol

If I did I was taken away out of consideration for others. This is what comes down to, really, good manners, which are sadly lacking in many of today's parents, and subsequently, their children "

In my opinion.

.. get a grip!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, thank you for agreeing that I can express my opinion. And my parents brought me up with the good manners to consider other people in a public place

And i bet you never had a tantrum out lol lol

If I did I was taken away out of consideration for others. This is what comes down to, really, good manners, which are sadly lacking in many of today's parents, and subsequently, their children "

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I know lol ...

Workhouse for the lot of them

... it just shows that these people don't have kids and understand the challenges

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I know lol ...

Workhouse for the lot of them

... it just shows that these people don't have kids and understand the challenges

Exactly, I chose not to take those challenges and don't want to experience them second-hand!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I’m all for that....’children should be seen and not heard’. Don’t see why I should go shopping in the middle of the night, just to avoid unruly kids, as was suggested further up the thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I’m all for that....’children should be seen and not heard’. Don’t see why I should go shopping in the middle of the night, just to avoid unruly kids, as was suggested further up the thread. "
hey it is always going to be annoying even for the parents what can you do ,I welcome the grand kids when they eventually arrive

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

To be honest, I’m not saying I was a perfect child (far from it) but it only took a look from my Mum and I shut the fuck up. She used to count to three... she never got to three.

There’s a bit of me who does think there’s merit in manners. We were very much in the ‘speak when you’re spoken to’ camp. You said ‘excuse me’ before you interrupted adults and you certainly did not answer back. Parenting these days does not appear to be the same as when I were a child.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I know lol ...

Workhouse for the lot of them

... it just shows that these people don't have kids and understand the challenges

Exactly, I chose not to take those challenges and don't want to experience them second-hand! "

I would never have guessed lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest, I’m not saying I was a perfect child (far from it) but it only took a look from my Mum and I shut the fuck up. She used to count to three... she never got to three.

Same.

There's a single dad with 2 young daughters that often goes to the same cafe as me. He sits and talks to them and answers all their questions really patiently.

No matter how crazy their question is, he answers/ explains or says he doesn't know the answer and will look it up when they get home. He treats them like the little people that they are.

The girls always eat their dinner nicely. They don't run around but they're not scared little things either. They're bouncy like normal kids but not in a bad way. I love seeing them together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every child any age has tantrums at times- how many of us did when younger? But before thinking to yourselves ' what a naughty kid, or their parents have no control'" think- could this child have autism? Could he/she have ADHD? Are the parents allowing them to do this to save getting a punch/a kick/sworn at? because thats what most parents recieve from these children on a regular basis. My brother is 51, autistic and has tantrums when out- i hum the star wars theme and he calms down--- took me 16yr to learn how to calm him down, so these parents could still be learning too.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Would a parent with a screaming child really be happy for someone to offer them help or even a smile? I've tried that and they just growl at me.

You shouldn't show them your growler then should you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I know lol ...

Workhouse for the lot of them

... it just shows that these people don't have kids and understand the challenges

Exactly, I chose not to take those challenges and don't want to experience them second-hand! "
u can always walk away if it bothers you so much or ignore it like a normal person would kids are kids and to make the assumption that because a kid throws a tantrum the parents lack manners is an insult and shows you don't know what your talking about ,I hold doors open for ladies and the elderly ,help mothers up the steps with their prams if struggling and always say please and thank you and so do my kids so where you get that from I'd love to know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems children should be seen and not heard a theme that was prevalent in the 17th and 18 th centuries in tudor and Elizabethan households

I know lol ...

Workhouse for the lot of them

... it just shows that these people don't have kids and understand the challenges

Exactly, I chose not to take those challenges and don't want to experience them second-hand! u can always walk away if it bothers you so much or ignore it like a normal person would kids are kids and to make the assumption that because a kid throws a tantrum the parents lack manners is an insult and shows you don't know what your talking about ,I hold doors open for ladies and the elderly ,help mothers up the steps with their prams if struggling and always say please and thank you and so do my kids so where you get that from I'd love to know"

Oh I do walk away, believe me. And I like to think I am fairly normal. I'm delighted to hear that you are teaching your children good manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/02/18 16:35:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So then just for the record if your kid throws a strop at the shop they probably do the same at home and get away with it that makes you a bad parent and I'll mannered and God let's hope you never go on holiday with them as they cause havoc on the plane in the hotel and the dinning room and your trip will be ruined is that it ?well I say give your head a bang tantrums don't make a kid bad or a parent a failure and these terrible kids will one day be the doctors or nurses caring for u when your old and senile and throwing a wobbly when u don't get your own way think about that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes

To be fair my second didn't have tantrums, I think it was probably a fluke rather than anything I did though knowing how toddlers minds work"

Our first didn't but our second made up for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the way to go is the science fiction way grow people in a test tube till fully mature for 20 yrs skipping child hood and teen yes and they come out as sterile so they can't breed problem solved

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When it comes down to it there are good parents, bad parents and everything in between. I've had some tough jobs, some rubbish jobs and some jobs I really hated but parenting has to be the most difficult one I've ever had.

Most of us are doing the best we can in difficult circumstances, try not to make assumptions about the child or the parent from one snapshot of their life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest I don't because, for me, children that behave like that in public have obviously behaved like that at home and have being able to get away with it there, that's why they do it in shops.

For a start I must be liar because neither on my two ever throw a tantrum in public, bawled and cried as babies yes.

I didn't call you a liar

I'm glad it worked for you

No I know you didn't, sorry didn't make that clear, another poster said somebody would be a liar if they claimed their children hadn't in public.

As I said, show me a parent that states they’ve never had a toddler that’s had a tantrum and I’ll show you a liar!!!!

Mrs blue eyes"

I must be a liar then although its odd you think im a liar being as you dont know me nor my children ! Fulltime mum. Two children. Neither had tantrums as toddlers or indeed any age. Grown up into great adults with their own young children now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When it comes down to it there are good parents, bad parents and everything in between. I've had some tough jobs, some rubbish jobs and some jobs I really hated but parenting has to be the most difficult one I've ever had.

Most of us are doing the best we can in difficult circumstances, try not to make assumptions about the child or the parent from one snapshot of their life. "
totally agree remove that stick and be more forgiving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of us are doing the best we can in difficult circumstances, try not to make assumptions about the child or the parent from one snapshot of their life. totally agree remove that stick and be more forgiving"

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace. "

And that sentence just sums it all up lol. You have just had a tantrum because you don't feel you are being heard lol lol lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace. "
I agree u have a right to enjoy your leisure any way u desire but shit happens and you just got to get over it not make it worse why make it into a drama Luke I said you can walk away the poor parent can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace. I agree u have a right to enjoy your leisure any way u desire but shit happens and you just got to get over it not make it worse why make it into a drama Luke I said you can walk away the poor parent can't "

Haha, yes, and there's the rub! I must remember just how fortunate I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was few occasions where my little one (3 years old) was throwing a tantrum because she couldn't have the toy she wanted. I tried explaining to her she's not allowed it and why but that doesn't work every time. So on a couple of occasions I walked out of the shop with her because I couldn't cope with people staring at me and her screaming. Now I think she learnt her lesson and doesn't moan anymore when she's not allowed something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha, yes, and there's the rub! I must remember just how fortunate I am. "
well I'm glad your happy in the knowledge you can but most can't but being judged as having poor manners because your child is misbehaving shows a lack of compassion and manners in itself I agree it's not a nice thing to see and I rather wouldn't but it happens and I don't feel the need to judge as like I said I've been there

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace.

And that sentence just sums it all up lol. You have just had a tantrum because you don't feel you are being heard lol lol lol. "

I would hardly call expressing an alternative view calmly and with respect a tantrum.

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By *edicinneedMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I’m out the other side now with teenage boys. They now throw tantrums when the WiFi drops out during an Xbox battle of some kind. What I do know is they will be gone from home in a few years so even enjoy the tantrums!

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

The Japanese also say:

"The protruding nail must be hammered down"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I’m out the other side now with teenage boys. They now throw tantrums when the WiFi drops out during an Xbox battle of some kind. What I do know is they will be gone from home in a few years so even enjoy the tantrums!"

The last tantrum we had from one of ours (if you count a massive strip, door slamming and flounce as a tantrum) was when we wouldn't allow them at the age of 15 to spend a week, alone in a house with two other 15 year olds

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*strop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a child is having a tantrum in a shop or on a bus or something if it's okay with the parents then I talk to the child take it down to their level. Children tend to listen to anyone that is'nt their parent lol it works x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Japanese also say:

"The protruding nail must be hammered down"

And I certainly feel like I've had a good hammering (as it were)! Never mind, I'm a big girl

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The Japanese also say:

"The protruding nail must be hammered down"

An inscrutable race. Just when you think you understand the culture and way of thinking something happens to make you realise you never will. I suspect they feel the same about us though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yours"

Exactly!!! What's to like about screaming children lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently in Japan they would have been asked to leave the shop/resturant etc.....should we be the same?"

Not everything is always as it appears. Big rise in children with autism. It could easily be the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Japanese also say:

"The protruding nail must be hammered down"

And I certainly feel like I've had a good hammering (as it were)! Never mind, I'm a big girl "
I'd hammer you but I can't lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with the above poster...

I work in retail and see all sorts

From screening newborns to fully grown adults with learning difficulties and the sheer amount of people with no sympathy for them is shocking!! If it dosn't concern you...move on and stop with the judgemental tuts and looks.

Parents/carers have it hard enough !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree with the above poster...

I work in retail and see all sorts

Parents/carers have it hard enough !"

In some cases with autism, any attention be it positive or negative is what the child is looking for. Could quite easily be the reason for the lady ignoring the child.

Put yourself in her shoes and try to comprehend how difficult her day might be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is the next post " should dogs not be allowed to bark in the presence of people who don't like barking" lol

and should horse riders keep to the fields and cats be tethered outside

Exactly...i think the answer is in the question...they are kids, can't believe some of the comments they are shocking.

Yes, and amazingly, not everyone likes them! You may be surprised to hear that people may have different views to yours

Exactly!!! What's to like about screaming children lol "
no one likes a screaming child but don't condemn the parents is what were saying

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By *urlesque!Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Agree with the above poster...

I work in retail and see all sorts

Parents/carers have it hard enough !

In some cases with autism, any attention be it positive or negative is what the child is looking for. Could quite easily be the reason for the lady ignoring the child.

Put yourself in her shoes and try to comprehend how difficult her day might be."

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Agree with the above poster...

I work in retail and see all sorts

Parents/carers have it hard enough !

In some cases with autism, any attention be it positive or negative is what the child is looking for. Could quite easily be the reason for the lady ignoring the child.

Put yourself in her shoes and try to comprehend how difficult her day might be.

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By *amo2121Man
over a year ago

swansea

OK, I'll do that if you agree on be more tolerant of people who hold a different view from yours, and acknowledge that they have a perfect right to shop, eat, or travel in peace.

And that sentence just sums it all up lol. You have just had a tantrum because you don't feel you are being heard lol lol lol.

I would hardly call expressing an alternative view calmly and with respect a tantrum."

Well as you say...its a point if view.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God forbid that we have to experience some form of vexation that we don't wish to tolerate!

I mean, I dont like loud people on the beach! Remove them! People who talk in supermarket aisles! Remove them! Boisterous gobshites at sporting events! Remove them!

Maybe the best lesson a child throwing a tantrum can learn is that no one modifies their behaviour as a result?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say goodbye to peace.

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By *urlesque!Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester

Maybe the best lesson a child throwing a tantrum can learn is that no one modifies their behaviour as a result?"
Spot on - also, ultimately a(young) child in distress, for whatever reason, is an unhappy child. Yes they need to learn boundaries but it takes time, love, understanding and empathy plus said boundaries.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Say goodbye to peace. "

What about love and bananas though?

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