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Advice for wheelchair user?

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Hi, wondering if anyone could advise me on how to improve my profile? People often start conversations with me and we arrange to meet, then when I reiterate that I use a wheelchair (as it states on my profile, legs are paralysed), I instantly get ignored.

Any ideas how to make it more evident, or maybe other sites where being a wheelchair user is less of an issue? Getting a bit demoralised.

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

There used to be a female member on here who was quite successful getting meets.

Being a man makes it 10 times more difficult all round

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife


"Hi, wondering if anyone could advise me on how to improve my profile? People often start conversations with me and we arrange to meet, then when I reiterate that I use a wheelchair (as it states on my profile, legs are paralysed), I instantly get ignored.

Any ideas how to make it more evident, or maybe other sites where being a wheelchair user is less of an issue? Getting a bit demoralised."

there are a few disabled profiles on here who seen to do ok, aside from the wheelchair it's very difficult for males to get meets on here just due to sheer numbers of male versus female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you need to improve anything. Women just don't like certain people unfortunately.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If you mention it early on in the conversation, assuming they haven't taken that bit of your profile in I'm not sure what more you can do.

I know that's not much help, but don't give up!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's clear in your profile op but a lot of people don't seem to read, or want to understand them. It's beyond me why, unless they are just not really interested in meeting, just chatting for to get turned on.

Probably the only way would be to put it right at the start of the profile text - it might filter some out quickly.

Otherwise, it's standard for people to get a lot more people speaking with them, than they will ever fully match with: you may be thinking that it's the chair but it could be many more things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people....especially couples I would imagine only meet now and again so probably just want straight forward meets which drastically reduces your chances x

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes it is a little frustrating people not reading my profile when asking to meet, but I don't understand why they flat out ignore me. If it's a bit complicated or not someone's cup of tea, that's totally fine, just wish they'd let me know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you mention it early on in the conversation, assuming they haven't taken that bit of your profile in I'm not sure what more you can do.

I know that's not much help, but don't give up!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There used to be a female member on here who was quite successful getting meets.

Being a man makes it 10 times more difficult all round"

Yep, and a few more 0s can be addwd too

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By *trawberryCheesecakeCouple
over a year ago

Land of Strawberry Cheesecakes :-)

Wish you lived closer Wheelchair wouldn't be a problem for us as it's just an aid to get you around. It's just a chair, not you as a person...and your pics (whoar!) and profile write up shows a great personality

Sarah

Xx

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By *anther PurrrsWoman
over a year ago

the Shadows Purrring or Roaring


"Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes it is a little frustrating people not reading my profile when asking to meet, but I don't understand why they flat out ignore me. If it's a bit complicated or not someone's cup of tea, that's totally fine, just wish they'd let me know. "

Your profile is purrrfect

As said before just keep trying and you will succeed. I myself have met with a wheelchair user before and makes no difference tbh.

Good luck x

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Wish you lived closer Wheelchair wouldn't be a problem for us as it's just an aid to get you around. It's just a chair, not you as a person...and your pics (whoar!) and profile write up shows a great personality

Sarah

Xx

"

Thank you Sarah, really kind words! Your profile is great too xx

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes it is a little frustrating people not reading my profile when asking to meet, but I don't understand why they flat out ignore me. If it's a bit complicated or not someone's cup of tea, that's totally fine, just wish they'd let me know.

Your profile is purrrfect

As said before just keep trying and you will succeed. I myself have met with a wheelchair user before and makes no difference tbh.

Good luck x "

Thank you Panther, that is very uplifting!

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By *trawberryCheesecakeCouple
over a year ago

Land of Strawberry Cheesecakes :-)


"Wish you lived closer Wheelchair wouldn't be a problem for us as it's just an aid to get you around. It's just a chair, not you as a person...and your pics (whoar!) and profile write up shows a great personality

Sarah

Xx

Thank you Sarah, really kind words! Your profile is great too xx"

All true (...sooo far away James )

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely loved your profile! Short, sweet and funny!

How soon into the message do you approach the subject? Because as we all know some people don’t read the profile and they may be unaware unless you mention it prior to arranging a meet. Perhaps having socials first? Maybe going to the forum socials and letting people ‘see’ you because a lot of people have huge misconceptions of folk in wheelchairs. If I was single (which doesn’t help I know) I would meet you for sure based solely on your profile, if your messages are like that then that would win with me.

Good luck xx

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is fine mate.

My advice to you is not to let it get to you because the non reply is a filter for the people who don’t have the right attitude for you. You’re not missing out, I’d say you’re actually dodging the type of people you wouldn’t want to meet.

It’s tough being a single male on here, just remember us guys are in plentiful supply. Stuck with it and be patient, the meets will come

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Absolutely loved your profile! Short, sweet and funny!

How soon into the message do you approach the subject? Because as we all know some people don’t read the profile and they may be unaware unless you mention it prior to arranging a meet. Perhaps having socials first? Maybe going to the forum socials and letting people ‘see’ you because a lot of people have huge misconceptions of folk in wheelchairs. If I was single (which doesn’t help I know) I would meet you for sure based solely on your profile, if your messages are like that then that would win with me.

Good luck xx

Geeky x"

Thanks Geeky, I think that's a better idea. Easier to see me more than the chair in person I suppose!

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Your profile is fine mate.

My advice to you is not to let it get to you because the non reply is a filter for the people who don’t have the right attitude for you. You’re not missing out, I’d say you’re actually dodging the type of people you wouldn’t want to meet.

It’s tough being a single male on here, just remember us guys are in plentiful supply. Stuck with it and be patient, the meets will come "

Thanks very much Swanseabody!

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Just keep a positive frame of mind and be patient, there are lenty of people who would be happy to meet you. You clearly have a brilliant sense of humour and that goes a long way for us at least.

Maybe try a local social? Then you will meet a few people and hopefully something will develop from that.

Good luck and happy Fabbing x

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I think your profile is absolutely fine We used to meet a couple where hubby had a motorbike accident when young, he was paralysed from the chest down, but boy, did I have some fun with him!

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By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

If you use any particular aids like the intimate Rider or a swing you could explain how it works or give them a link to a video

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the responses everyone. Yes it is a little frustrating people not reading my profile when asking to meet, but I don't understand why they flat out ignore me. If it's a bit complicated or not someone's cup of tea, that's totally fine, just wish they'd let me know. "

Your profile is brilliant, it would make me want to meet you.

Perhaps people don't know what to say and don't want to offend you and that's why they go quiet. You could do a clothed pic of you in your chair - it's a known fact that most people don't read profiles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've a lovely profile and you've had some great advice on this thread OP so take it on board and maybe we'll see you in the forums!

Being a wheelchair user certainly wouldn't put me off you

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is great, I grew up down south would love to meet up with you even if it’s a like minded social when I come ‘home’ x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, wondering if anyone could advise me on how to improve my profile? People often start conversations with me and we arrange to meet, then when I reiterate that I use a wheelchair (as it states on my profile, legs are paralysed), I instantly get ignored.

Any ideas how to make it more evident, or maybe other sites where being a wheelchair user is less of an issue? Getting a bit demoralised."

If you were closer I would meet you... Your profile is amusing and that's a winner for me

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By *orruptedAngelCouple
over a year ago

norwich

I met a wheelchair user who was paralysed from waist down when I was on my singles profile!! You're way more than just a wheelchair and if anyone can't see past it then surely you wouldn't want to meet them anyway? You have a great profile and nice body so don't give up!!

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By *ystical_InkedBBWWoman
over a year ago

somewhere in the Shire of Derby

I'm reliant on crutches and a wheelchair with being an amputee currently without a prosthetic leg but I only meet at home as it's my domain and don't have to worry about all the obstacles etc. Been on the site over 7 years and not had any problems with meeting people and have always been upfront about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, wondering if anyone could advise me on how to improve my profile? People often start conversations with me and we arrange to meet, then when I reiterate that I use a wheelchair (as it states on my profile, legs are paralysed), I instantly get ignored.

Any ideas how to make it more evident, or maybe other sites where being a wheelchair user is less of an issue? Getting a bit demoralised."

You've a great profile.. No need for change

I would !

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Get yourself to a social and deploy that sense of humour.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Theres a few people on here with various conditions that we feel might put people off, just carry on doing what you are doing and I'm sure success will come.

It's certainly worked wonders for my confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?"

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him. "

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair. "

People never mention they are ignorant cunts though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair.

People never mention they are ignorant cunts though. "

Is that a dig at me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair.

People never mention they are ignorant cunts though.

Is that a dig at me?"

Not at all. I'm not one of 'them'

I was making the point that why should anyone highlight a potentially negative when they are trying to attract people? And don't give me that shit about people having preferences. If they feel that strongly about fucking a crip, they should ask everyone before meeting if they're disabled

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair.

People never mention they are ignorant cunts though.

Is that a dig at me?

Not at all. I'm not one of 'them'

I was making the point that why should anyone highlight a potentially negative when they are trying to attract people? And don't give me that shit about people having preferences. If they feel that strongly about fucking a crip, they should ask everyone before meeting if they're disabled "

This - I don't mention mine anymore. I used to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him.

I agree with you, I don't think I made my point clearly. I was trying to say that if somebody is put off by him being in a wheelchair, they'll know straight away and won't make contact. Those that do make contact have obviously read at least the first line and thought him worth contacting despite the chair. He's saying that people contact him, then ignore him when he reiterates he uses a wheelchair.

People never mention they are ignorant cunts though.

Is that a dig at me?

Not at all. I'm not one of 'them'

I was making the point that why should anyone highlight a potentially negative when they are trying to attract people? And don't give me that shit about people having preferences. If they feel that strongly about fucking a crip, they should ask everyone before meeting if they're disabled "

Because he's saying he gets contacted, then ignored by that person when he tells them again he's a wheelchair user, which suggests to me that they haven't read his profile fully.

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By *vetteBondTV/TS
over a year ago

English Riviera

My advice...move to Devon and try a tranny!

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it as a fantastic sign that people are talking about meeting you. Some guys don't even get that far!

I can imagine it is frustrating for you, but the right people will understand the complexities (and not the limitations) of your chair.

Keep the faith, you are doing better than me

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Okay, I'll be blunt. Make the first line of your profile "I'm a wheelchair user". Your current first line is what people want to hear, and from what I've heard, folk rarely read the whole profile, so after reading how athletic and fit you are, they maybe don't go on to read the rest?

Disagree.

Nowhere on my profile does it say "has a colostomy". I don't think it's the most interesting thing about me, just as I don't think the OP being in a wheelchair is the most interesting thing about him. "

I agree. I didn't even know about your colostomy when we met and it was just part of your story as we chatted over lunch.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bear in mind OP, there are some shallow people on here, who have no problem displaying their judgemental immaturity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos."

Has anyone commented on it?

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

Has anyone commented on it?"

Newp

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

Has anyone commented on it?

Newp "

I've fabbed it & a few others

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Hey James, I remember you posting about attending Kestrels, Shame it closed.

There's an organised social event next week in Brighton, run by Sussex Socials

Might be good if you could attend, let people meet the real you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

Has anyone commented on it?

Newp "

You don't expect them to, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great bio mate love it and good luck it’s hard for all us guys on here wether able bodied or not but you seem cool so you’ll be fine x

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

Has anyone commented on it?

Newp

You don't expect them to, do you?"

Also no.

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"Get yourself to a social and deploy that sense of humour.

"

x storm x

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry


"You've a lovely profile and you've had some great advice on this thread OP so take it on board and maybe we'll see you in the forums!

Being a wheelchair user certainly wouldn't put me off you

Mrs x "

Likewise x storm x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember you from your old profile. Really handsome guy as well. Hope you get more luck this time round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In a small social experiment, I now have a photo of me "bag out" in my photos.

Has anyone commented on it?

Newp

You don't expect them to, do you?

Also no. "

OK. So genuine, non snidey question, whats the experiment in putting the photo on?

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Hey James, I remember you posting about attending Kestrels, Shame it closed.

There's an organised social event next week in Brighton, run by Sussex Socials

Might be good if you could attend, let people meet the real you.

"

Thanks Phoenix. Could you tell me where and when the Social is? Would be really good to attend!

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Thank you so much to everyone for the kind words, I'll try attending socials and talk to people face to face.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"Hey James, I remember you posting about attending Kestrels, Shame it closed.

There's an organised social event next week in Brighton, run by Sussex Socials

Might be good if you could attend, let people meet the real you.

Thanks Phoenix. Could you tell me where and when the Social is? Would be really good to attend!"

Can I pm you?

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By *amesnite11 OP   Man
over a year ago

Brighton


"Hey James, I remember you posting about attending Kestrels, Shame it closed.

There's an organised social event next week in Brighton, run by Sussex Socials

Might be good if you could attend, let people meet the real you.

Thanks Phoenix. Could you tell me where and when the Social is? Would be really good to attend!

Can I pm you? "

Absolutely

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