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I tried the X-Factor

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I really wanted to fit in a bit more on the site so I thought in an attempt to ingratiate myself with some of the regulars who all seem to be fans of the show, I'd give it a go.

Tonight's show seems to be some kind of 'elimination' event.

I tried really, really hard.

I made it to the 1st ad break.

But by that time I hadn't seen anyone who's existence was anything less than a serious genetic threat to the human race.

There wasn't a single person I would not have willingly shot in the head. Many of the contestants should have been drowned at birth.

There was a girl who I thought was a boy, a boy who I thought was a girl, two mentally deranged Essex girl types, and a woman wearing so much make-up it must have doubled her body weight.

I have no idea who the 2 females judges are, but they both appear to be entirely vacuous human beings (see above 'needing shot' comment)

What exactly to people get for winning this thing, other than of course the obligatory fruit bowl full of cocaine and room full of prostitutes?

Please tell me that people are being ironic when they watch this. Please tell me there aren't people taking it seriously.

Is it actually legal for one of the judges to write a song for last years winner and then promote it on the show with a live performance - surely that breaks all kinds of product placement and advertising rules?

I tried.

But seriously, it's a fucking freak show. These people need help, not exposure on TV.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

So... what is different to watching a debate in the commons...?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

So you're hooked then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At last!!! I am not alone in my _iew of this awful excuse of a programme!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

Does that mean you didn't like it ?

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Continuing the spot the ball theme, maybe the X factor should be renamed "Spot the Bollox", there'd be a winner every week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you watched it and added to their _iewing stats...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with you, cant stand the program.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Does that mean you didn't like it ? "

I wanted to give a fair and balanced account of my _iewing experience, rather than a mindless rant, so I toned my opinion down considerably in my post.

To be more truthful would pain too many people on the site who are 'fans' of the 'show' I fear.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"you watched it and added to their _iewing stats...

"

Just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I caught the last couple of minutes of tonights show and had to turn the volume off straight away!

I also caught sight of tonight's Strictly, and had to turn that off too as I cannot put up with the fake tans and fake eyelashes etc. etc...

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

lol it doesn't normally stop you

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I caught the last couple of minutes of tonights show and had to turn the volume off straight away!

I also caught sight of tonight's Strictly, and had to turn that off too as I cannot put up with the fake tans and fake eyelashes etc. etc...

"

It's like afternoon tea at View's house.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"lol it doesn't normally stop you "

I am mellowing in my dotage.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Sensi... Why did you do it? Don't you know that kind of crap can scar you for life?

And we have yet to hear any convincing arguement to watch it from any that do! Spose it's just that people like to watch the Jeremy Kyle generation on tele.. Bet the same people who watch J. Kyle, also watch X-Factor...

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I think I may have to shower to wash off the smell of sweat, tears and shame.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

well done for trying....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"lol it doesn't normally stop you

I am mellowing in my dotage."

.

Phew, I thought Rugby was directing that at me!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Sensi... Why did you do it? Don't you know that kind of crap can scar you for life?

And we have yet to hear any convincing arguement to watch it from any that do! Spose it's just that people like to watch the Jeremy Kyle generation on tele.. Bet the same people who watch J. Kyle, also watch X-Factor... "

Tend to disagree, I occasionally watch X factor and equally I very occasionally watch the JK show but for very very different reasons. Its a bit voyeuristic, I think but it is also vry interesting to watch human behaviour, responses to stressful situations for example that sometimes make it quite interesting material.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"well done for trying.... "

Thank you.

I know you know how much it took for me to do so.

(I still quite like your dancing guy, dunnohisname, the outrageously camp one, he's a talented mo'fo)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"well done for trying....

Thank you.

I know you know how much it took for me to do so.

(I still quite like your dancing guy, dunnohisname, the outrageously camp one, he's a talented mo'fo)"

do you mean Jonny, I just think there is a guy who if he makes a few quid, gets a wee job on a cruise liner singing, a gig in Butlins for a year or so...

it is all good...

he is out there trying to make a living and thats all good with me.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"lol it doesn't normally stop you

I am mellowing in my dotage.

.

Phew, I thought Rugby was directing that at me! "

lol sorry Pearl, your fingers were too fast so you snuck in before me

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"well done for trying....

Thank you.

I know you know how much it took for me to do so.

(I still quite like your dancing guy, dunnohisname, the outrageously camp one, he's a talented mo'fo)

do you mean Jonny, I just think there is a guy who if he makes a few quid, gets a wee job on a cruise liner singing, a gig in Butlins for a year or so...

it is all good...

he is out there trying to make a living and thats all good with me."

Noooooooooooooooo!

Was that the one in the silver outfit with the specs? He's FIRST up against the wall!

The other guy from the other show, he's some kind of dance dude camp as a row of tents

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"well done for trying....

Thank you.

I know you know how much it took for me to do so.

(I still quite like your dancing guy, dunnohisname, the outrageously camp one, he's a talented mo'fo)

do you mean Jonny, I just think there is a guy who if he makes a few quid, gets a wee job on a cruise liner singing, a gig in Butlins for a year or so...

it is all good...

he is out there trying to make a living and thats all good with me.

Noooooooooooooooo!

Was that the one in the silver outfit with the specs? He's FIRST up against the wall!

The other guy from the other show, he's some kind of dance dude camp as a row of tents"

lol on the other show.. got ya...

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

lol on the other show.. got ya..."

You know fine well who I mean, i just don't know his name. Short guy, bald, lisp, outrageously homosexual.

Buggered if I can remember his name

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By *DSRMan
over a year ago

leicester

I have watched it this year for the first time ever.. Because life is more home based than before today aka i stay in more! I'm enjoying it, god i am bored lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

lol on the other show.. got ya...

You know fine well who I mean, i just don't know his name. Short guy, bald, lisp, outrageously homosexual.

Buggered if I can remember his name

"

louis spence

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Bingo!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I enjoy the X factor. I know what parts give me pleasure and i tolerate or laugh at the rest.

Sensi - shut up. Coming in after the early auditions and pretending to know what's going on is like putting the last fucking Roman Tersai in place and saying the whole mosaic is shite....

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

[Removed by poster at 09/10/11 21:59:49]

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I enjoy the X factor. I know what parts give me pleasure and i tolerate or laugh at the rest.

Sensi - shut up. Coming in after the early auditions and pretending to know what's going on is like putting the last fucking Roman Tersai in place and saying the whole mosaic is shite....

"

WHOA!

Hold on. Stop the presses. just WAIT.

Early Auditions?

You mean the people I saw tonight were the GOOD ones?

These are the people who have been, somehow, chosen ABOVE other people?

Nah, you're winding me up Granny.

I fucking believed you for a minute there, you had me going.

Don't I feel like the fool now.

'Early auditions'. Pffft, as IF!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"Does that mean you didn't like it ?

I wanted to give a fair and balanced account of my _iewing experience, rather than a mindless rant, so I toned my opinion down considerably in my post.

To be more truthful would pain too many people on the site who are 'fans' of the 'show' I fear."

Hooray! Someone who sees this programme for what it really is, and all the hype and media frenzy which surrounds it!

This show and all of the other big name types such as Strictly Come Dancing. BGT and others like them, can only prove one thing, that TV is dumbing down far further into the gutter!

Before long, it will be reduced to people baying for someone's life to be snuffed out in a gladitorial pit!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I enjoy the X factor. I know what parts give me pleasure and i tolerate or laugh at the rest.

Sensi - shut up. Coming in after the early auditions and pretending to know what's going on is like putting the last fucking Roman Tersai in place and saying the whole mosaic is shite....

WHOA!

Hold on. Stop the presses. just WAIT.

Early Auditions?

You mean the people I saw tonight were the GOOD ones?

These are the people who have been, somehow, chosen ABOVE other people?

Nah, you're winding me up Granny.

I fucking believed you for a minute there, you had me going.

Don't I feel like the fool now.

'Early auditions'. Pffft, as IF!

"

Funny as you are just stop this BS right now!

You know the score the rigmaroll the order of things......

There are thousands upon thousands of auditions held across our great nation.

The sixteen survivors who pleasured you this evening were indeed the country's finest....... aren't you proud ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Does that mean you didn't like it ?

I wanted to give a fair and balanced account of my _iewing experience, rather than a mindless rant, so I toned my opinion down considerably in my post.

To be more truthful would pain too many people on the site who are 'fans' of the 'show' I fear.

Hooray! Someone who sees this programme for what it really is, and all the hype and media frenzy which surrounds it!

This show and all of the other big name types such as Strictly Come Dancing. BGT and others like them, can only prove one thing, that TV is dumbing down far further into the gutter!

Before long, it will be reduced to people baying for someone's life to be snuffed out in a gladitorial pit! "

How was songs of praise tonight ?

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"How was songs of praise tonight ?"

I didn't watch that either!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"How was songs of praise tonight ?

I didn't watch that either! "

I know. You sit in the dark and flagellate.......

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Is flagellating similar to flatulating?

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"How was songs of praise tonight ?

I didn't watch that either!

I know. You sit in the dark and flagellate......."

What I do is my business!

As it happened, I was asleep at the time; medication is buggering up my sleep.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"How was songs of praise tonight ?

I didn't watch that either!

I know. You sit in the dark and flagellate......."

Jesus, I think I need that eye test, I read that as "shit in the dark and flagelleate"

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

The sixteen survivors who pleasured you this evening were indeed the country's finest....... aren't you proud ?"

*grown man weeps uncontrollably*

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

Jesus, I think I need that eye test, I read that as "shit in the dark and flagelleate" "

That's a whole other thread.

Which wouldn't last long.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"How was songs of praise tonight ?

I didn't watch that either!

I know. You sit in the dark and flagellate.......

What I do is my business!

As it happened, I was asleep at the time; medication is buggering up my sleep. "

Well, i;m never going to lie on my stomach after taking meds again. Sod that.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Is flagellating similar to flatulating?"

Ask in M and S for some Flagellatio beans ..... I dare ya.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"

The sixteen survivors who pleasured you this evening were indeed the country's finest....... aren't you proud ?

*grown man weeps uncontrollably*"

Which act damaged you the least ?

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

The sixteen survivors who pleasured you this evening were indeed the country's finest....... aren't you proud ?

*grown man weeps uncontrollably*

Which act damaged you the least ?"

It was all a blur quite frankly.

There was a young chap who did a Beatles cover I think, he'd be shot last.

But this is no way condones the X-Factor.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod

over a year ago

I think you should be gently introduced to the only way is Essex now

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"Is flagellating similar to flatulating?

Ask in M and S for some Flagellatio beans ..... I dare ya."

In a similar vein, a colleague of mine who many years ago went off to a weekend in Amsterdam, and after a visist to their Red Light District, came home and decided to go into Boots and ask for "Aspidistriacs".

She couldn't work out why everyone fell about laughing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Before long, it will be reduced to people baying for someone's life to be snuffed out in a gladitorial pit! "

I might watch that one

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I think you should be gently introduced to the only way is Essex now "

You are NOT helping.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"I think you should be gently introduced to the only way is Essex now

You are NOT helping."

Sensi, believe me, having worked and lived in Essex in the past (and survived!), if you watched "X-Factor", it would be far more mentally stimulating than TOWIE !

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

Before long, it will be reduced to people baying for someone's life to be snuffed out in a gladitorial pit!

I might watch that one "

I think I have an idea to 'pitch' to TV execs.

I know EXACTLY how I would do that.

Ooooh, I could be the Louis Cowell or whoever of 'Waste the Wannabees'.

"It's my dream to be beaten to death by angry middle class pseudo-intellectuals on Saturday night TV, it's all I live for"

This could go global.

My TV company will be a pun on the wankers who started it all with 'Big Brother', Endimol.

"Enditall"

Who's with me? C'mon, the Hoi Polloi have had their fifteen minutes of estuary English lowest common denominator fame, it's MY turn now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sensy mate why dont ya audition??? ya could take the wold by storm xx

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull


"

Before long, it will be reduced to people baying for someone's life to be snuffed out in a gladitorial pit!

I might watch that one

I think I have an idea to 'pitch' to TV execs.

I know EXACTLY how I would do that.

Ooooh, I could be the Louis Cowell or whoever of 'Waste the Wannabees'.

"It's my dream to be beaten to death by angry middle class pseudo-intellectuals on Saturday night TV, it's all I live for"

This could go global.

My TV company will be a pun on the wankers who started it all with 'Big Brother', Endimol.

"Enditall"

Who's with me? C'mon, the Hoi Polloi have had their fifteen minutes of estuary English lowest common denominator fame, it's MY turn now."

As another Scot, born in Edinburgh, I'll join you on this!

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I can see the Celebrity version already.

People will tune in by the million to watch:

Liz Hurley being beaten to death for shagging Shane Warne.

Ashley Cole whipped to shreds for not realising that Cheryl was his meal ticket.

Piers Morgan forced to talk non-stop about himself until he collapses with exhaustion, and then gets shot in the leg to encourage him on.

Simon Cowell, just for being Simon Cowell - how'dya like the 'phone vote' now Simon? BANG!

The fucker who came up with the 'Go Compare' adverts.

The fucker who is in the 'Go Compare' adverts.

Michael Winner (see Simon Cowell)

The list is endless. And once I've whetted the public's appetite for blood they will be insatiable.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Richard Desmond

Anyone who works on the Daily Express

Lord Rothemere

Anyone who works on the Daily Mail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see the Celebrity version already.

People will tune in by the million to watch:

Liz Hurley being beaten to death for shagging Shane Warne.

Ashley Cole whipped to shreds for not realising that Cheryl was his meal ticket.

Piers Morgan forced to talk non-stop about himself until he collapses with exhaustion, and then gets shot in the leg to encourage him on.

Simon Cowell, just for being Simon Cowell - how'dya like the 'phone vote' now Simon? BANG!

The fucker who came up with the 'Go Compare' adverts.

The fucker who is in the 'Go Compare' adverts.

Michael Winner (see Simon Cowell)

The list is endless. And once I've whetted the public's appetite for blood they will be insatiable.

"

I`ve visions of the Running Man..

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

I`ve visions of the Running Man.."

Wedge.

End.

Thin.

Of.

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By *ensualfire88 OP   Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If you've never seen it, check out 'Monkey Dust' from the early 90's.

Produced by genius Harry Thomson who sadly died young, it predicted with utter clarity 'Celebrities on the toilet'.

Matter of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here here, must admit I watch the very first one and anything beyond that is only if I am incredibly bored that even watching paint dry is not boring enough. As to the one female judge, I would agree with you there, even worse than can't sing nondescript Cheryl Tweety-Cole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ps the best part is the Xtra factor of the auditions as those that cannot sing that think they can is better than any comedy show

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