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Advice please!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Please could I get an opinion on how to interpret a message from a man who I’m in a ‘are we aren’t we’ situation with?!! I know this probably isn’t the place really, but I need some brutal honesty!! What does this man really mean by the below? I don’t think I’ll like the answers. Thank you though x

‘I was so determined for us to be friends and I’m annoyed at myself for muddying the waters on that front. I seem to find it very difficult to resist you, even when deep down I feel like I should xx’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He wants to fuck you but thinks he will regret it if it affects your friendship

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

From fab?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like he fell in love, doesn’t want anything serious but can’t say goodbye

Just my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He wants to fuck you but thinks he will regret it if it affects your friendship "

That makes a lot of sense... the thing is I kind of love him, I don’t just want him to fuck me! Grrr stupid feelings!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has, and enjoys fucking you but is conscious you want more, he doesn’t and feels bad as knows he has the power to and should stop it but he’s human and wants to be able to have fun with nothing more to it but is conflicted as he’s a reasonable enough person to know that doing so leads to hurting you and potential drama.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" From fab? "

No, not from fab x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Please could I get an opinion on how to interpret a message from a man who I’m in a ‘are we aren’t we’ situation with?!! I know this probably isn’t the place really, but I need some brutal honesty!! What does this man really mean by the below? I don’t think I’ll like the answers. Thank you though x

‘I was so determined for us to be friends and I’m annoyed at myself for muddying the waters on that front. I seem to find it very difficult to resist you, even when deep down I feel like I should xx’"

He wants to jump your bones... duh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we are more the cynics... Looks like he is saying he sees you as a friend but he has muddied the waters as you are irresistible. Read as: on some level, a manipulative attempt to play to your emotion to close the deal on a 50/50 chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you just ask him what he means by that statement OP? Others on here will give you their interpration, but only the man in question knows what he meant by that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ask him? "

Believe me, I have!! This is the most I could get from him x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He has, and enjoys fucking you but is conscious you want more, he doesn’t and feels bad as knows he has the power to and should stop it but he’s human and wants to be able to have fun with nothing more to it but is conflicted as he’s a reasonable enough person to know that doing so leads to hurting you and potential drama. "

Wow, that sounds pretty much on the money. Thanks, that’s helpful... not what I wanna hear, but I appreciate it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As we are more the cynics... Looks like he is saying he sees you as a friend but he has muddied the waters as you are irresistible. Read as: on some level, a manipulative attempt to play to your emotion to close the deal on a 50/50 chance."

Do you mean that he is keeping his options open? He wants to keep me as a friend with benefits? I didn’t quite get what you meant- maybe I just didn’t like to hear the cynical part x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the "he's playing you" camp.

He appears to have fallen head over heels for you. He suspects /knows you have feelings for him a he is tapping into it. If you persue him "just that little bit harder" he will have no choice but to plunge headlong into a deeper relationship. Therefor all your fault.

I don't know the full circumstances but to me it sounds like an attached bloke who knows exactly what he wants (cake and eat it) but he will have an audit trail to demonstrate that he tried to fight the inevitable.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"Please could I get an opinion on how to interpret a message from a man who I’m in a ‘are we aren’t we’ situation with?!! I know this probably isn’t the place really, but I need some brutal honesty!! What does this man really mean by the below? I don’t think I’ll like the answers. Thank you though x

‘I was so determined for us to be friends and I’m annoyed at myself for muddying the waters on that front. I seem to find it very difficult to resist you, even when deep down I feel like I should xx’"

He is happy to have had sex but does not want more....in other words thinking with his penis not his actual brain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He has, and enjoys fucking you but is conscious you want more, he doesn’t and feels bad as knows he has the power to and should stop it but he’s human and wants to be able to have fun with nothing more to it but is conflicted as he’s a reasonable enough person to know that doing so leads to hurting you and potential drama.

Wow, that sounds pretty much on the money. Thanks, that’s helpful... not what I wanna hear, but I appreciate it x"

And neither of you are in the wrong.

The focus is that you want different things and are both conscious of this. Whilst you are still on good terms, wean off. Time and space and friendship could be there in the future. Right now, this will bubble and you’ll damage each other over time.

Love and respect each other enough to do the least damage.

I am projecting though.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

He has some unspoken issue - already in relationship? - but would have sex. Would have a friendship but his pressure spoils it.

Depends what you want op. And what you would be willing to sacrifice and pay for the social or sexual relationship.

Next step is to speak live and not rely on text, so that you can be clear in your dialogue real-time.

I think it's probably a relationship that most would not want. He's sending out warning signals and attempting to put pressure and responsibility upon you, rather than him take it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone else has said, only if know how he feels and when he means by his message.

Whatever it is that he wants, it sounds like he's messing you around, which will ultimately lead to you getting hurt. If he really liked you, and wanted more than just being friends/fuck buddies, then why doesn't he just say so? It doesn't make any sense to be vague like this, unless he's playing games or trying to extract himself from the situation. If it were me, I'd take a step back ~ you obviously have feelings for him, and he may be capitalising on that to get what he wants.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm in the "he's playing you" camp.

He appears to have fallen head over heels for you. He suspects /knows you have feelings for him a he is tapping into it. If you persue him "just that little bit harder" he will have no choice but to plunge headlong into a deeper relationship. Therefor all your fault.

I don't know the full circumstances but to me it sounds like an attached bloke who knows exactly what he wants (cake and eat it) but he will have an audit trail to demonstrate that he tried to fight the inevitable."

Thanks, I find that interesting... I also want to know why he is ‘determined’ to be friends and ‘should resist’!! I’ve known him for 10 years and know for sure that he’s single- we’ve been speaking every night pretty much for a year! For hours... we’ve been on holidays together and are so close. So it’s very confusing grrr

Thanks for your insight x

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"I'm in the "he's playing you" camp.

He appears to have fallen head over heels for you. He suspects /knows you have feelings for him a he is tapping into it. If you persue him "just that little bit harder" he will have no choice but to plunge headlong into a deeper relationship. Therefor all your fault.

I don't know the full circumstances but to me it sounds like an attached bloke who knows exactly what he wants (cake and eat it) but he will have an audit trail to demonstrate that he tried to fight the inevitable.

Thanks, I find that interesting... I also want to know why he is ‘determined’ to be friends and ‘should resist’!! I’ve known him for 10 years and know for sure that he’s single- we’ve been speaking every night pretty much for a year! For hours... we’ve been on holidays together and are so close. So it’s very confusing grrr

Thanks for your insight x"

Why don’t you ask him to explain to you in plain English what he means? Difficult for us to ascertsin as we don’t know the full situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I totally agree that I need to talk to him directly and in person!! I’ve been trying for a week, but he’s shut down and this text was all he would give me we are really close, didn’t meet on fab and speak all the time normally. Anyway, thanks so much for all your viewpoints- it’s so helpful to read them xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm in the "he's playing you" camp.

He appears to have fallen head over heels for you. He suspects /knows you have feelings for him a he is tapping into it. If you persue him "just that little bit harder" he will have no choice but to plunge headlong into a deeper relationship. Therefor all your fault.

I don't know the full circumstances but to me it sounds like an attached bloke who knows exactly what he wants (cake and eat it) but he will have an audit trail to demonstrate that he tried to fight the inevitable.

Thanks, I find that interesting... I also want to know why he is ‘determined’ to be friends and ‘should resist’!! I’ve known him for 10 years and know for sure that he’s single- we’ve been speaking every night pretty much for a year! For hours... we’ve been on holidays together and are so close. So it’s very confusing grrr

Thanks for your insight x"

Perhaps because he fancies you, but doesn't visualise you as being his girlfriend/long term partner? The fact that you've known him for 10 years and have spoken to him as often as you have, for the past year and is telling you this, is proof that it may not be meant to be anything more than friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't you just ask the bloke rather than ask total strangers to try and guess a situation they have absolutely no knowledge of.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why don't you just ask the bloke rather than ask total strangers to try and guess a situation they have absolutely no knowledge of. "

Why don’t you read what I posted above about that? I’ve tried asking him, of course! I only wanted some opinions, didn’t think that was a problem or something to be unfriendly about x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is he single .........like guaranteed single

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"is he single .........like guaranteed single"

Yes, I promise- he is! I know that for sure and am not just being naive (about that part at least!) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"is he single .........like guaranteed single

Yes, I promise- he is! I know that for sure and am not just being naive (about that part at least!) x"

i fabbed your gorgeous breasts it that helps

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"is he single .........like guaranteed single

Yes, I promise- he is! I know that for sure and am not just being naive (about that part at least!) x

i fabbed your gorgeous breasts it that helps "

Aw... that actually does help a little! thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask him not us.

And if you know the guy that well come out from behind txt and screens.

Ask him face to face in the real world.

That way you learn so much more. All the none verbal signals are important, you can talk and respond spontaneously and with no screens to hide behind seek a truth that may or may not change your lives.

But then I would say that. I've always been a risk taker.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ask him not us.

And if you know the guy that well come out from behind txt and screens.

Ask him face to face in the real world.

That way you learn so much more. All the none verbal signals are important, you can talk and respond spontaneously and with no screens to hide behind seek a truth that may or may not change your lives.

But then I would say that. I've always been a risk taker."

Oh I totally agree, and am trying!! He’s gone into hiding and this text is all he would give me. So I’m only asking here out of frustration, until he lets me back in to his real world as usual. Sorry, you must all think I’m a bit pathetic now x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask him not us.

And if you know the guy that well come out from behind txt and screens.

Ask him face to face in the real world.

That way you learn so much more. All the none verbal signals are important, you can talk and respond spontaneously and with no screens to hide behind seek a truth that may or may not change your lives.

But then I would say that. I've always been a risk taker.

Oh I totally agree, and am trying!! He’s gone into hiding and this text is all he would give me. So I’m only asking here out of frustration, until he lets me back in to his real world as usual. Sorry, you must all think I’m a bit pathetic now x"

Nothing pathetic about it. Life is complicated emotions more so.

And people no matter what they claim get the feels to some degree. How else do we ever decide to meet or take it further.

Only you and the other can make this decision or resolve this problem. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nothing pathetic about it. Life is complicated emotions more so.

And people no matter what they claim get the feels to some degree. How else do we ever decide to meet or take it further.

Only you and the other can make this decision or resolve this problem. Good luck"

Thank you for being kind I just appreciated some kind of feedback and thoughts from people, to stop myself from going crazy!! But of course you’re right- I will resolve it with him x

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