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Before meets what safety measures do you put in place?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I chat on the phone and always meet somewhere public for a social.

Nothing is fool proof I guess and I’ve had a subsequent meet not go well.

What do others do?

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

If I was meeting someone new, I always met in a public place and told a trusted and discreet Fab friend where I was going and who I was meeting.

If I'm meeting my fwb.... I make sure there's plenty of coffee.... He gets grumpy otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Public social and plenty of chat first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always suggest a social first....and meet public place.

However, over the years it has amazed me how many women, maybe after a few exchanged texts or even messages on here will then switch to meeting at theirs, or at mine.

Obviously I know they will be safe and things have always gone well, but the fact they are ok with taking such a risk still amazes me!

A very good friend of mine used to do this regularly...it took ages for me to persuade her to at least have me on call as back up etc...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Strong elastic knickers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tie a plank to my ass

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Tie a plank to my ass"

But then you'd float face down??

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

We always meet socially first be it in a pup or a club then go from there

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Hard hat and man safe system installed

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

Social first over drink or hot choc in public place

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

For us, social first in a public place or meet at a club.

If I was meeting as a single, I would do this, and make sure a trusted person knew where I was, just in case.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of chat beforehand to find if you really might be compatible. A meet somewhere in a public place that you feel comfortable. An understanding before you meet that at any time either party can say thanks, but no thanks, without any drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kik.

Then meet during the day for a coffee. Only has to be for an hour. Just enough time to establish if mutual attraction is there and I feel fine in his company.

Arrange a play date very soon afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One in the chamber haha jokes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None. I like a bit of risk in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hard hat and man safe system installed "

U didnt when u met me lol

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Social in a public place and I check in with my wingwoman at an agreed time and then again when I’m safely home.

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By *eanontiWoman
over a year ago

Limerick

Social meet first. If we arrange a play meet. Leave details with a friend on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bring a fake positive STI test if she habdcuffs me and I change my mind

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Hard hat and man safe system installed

U didnt when u met me lol "

That's what taught me my bloody lesson and made me start!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad this has come up. Arranging my first meet so I suggested a very public place. This person has suggested a forest. What do I do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat for a while first, then move on to Kik and ask for a pic taken from the Kik camera, and then always meet at a club or a public place even if I have every intention of taking them back to mine after. Hubby always knows where I'm going and who with, and 9 times out of 10 he'll be in the house when I get back (with or without my meet).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I chat for a while first, then move on to Kik and ask for a pic taken from the Kik camera, and then always meet at a club or a public place even if I have every intention of taking them back to mine after. Hubby always knows where I'm going and who with, and 9 times out of 10 he'll be in the house when I get back (with or without my meet)."

Yeh we've spoke on kik and sent photos but I'm still a bit dubious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes none at all, just chat on here, kik and occasionally WhatsApp and then met them, usually at their house and usually I didn’t tell a soul where I was going, not the best move but I was a bit ‘lost’ back then. I wish I could go back and see me and shake me and say ‘ali you are being an idiot’.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "

I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?

It's a bit like the following up interview

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?

It's a bit like the following up interview "

I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I Meet socially and talk in the phone! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?

It's a bit like the following up interview

I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it. "

But if he was in his fireman's uniform eh?

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I chat on here then meet at mine, can't be bothered with socials etc

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By *mojeeCouple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I hide my baseball bat and extendable baton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet for a drink in a public place first (which is only fair for the person we're meeting as we don't have face pics)

We have a totally separate 'Fab' phone.

I always have my wife holding my hand.

We have been known to turn up with our dog

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social first always and swap numbers and chat on phone before that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ensure the m.o.d and mi5 are fully aware and that armed response is on high alert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a social in a public place, I have met someone before without but never again.

I have had so many guys moan about wanting a social first though, one even called it wasted fucking time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always chat on phone, then meet together, in public place, social meet and if right take from there. Still risks, but at least have that back up of if not sure during social time, don't proceed.. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spray can of Mace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

I would have thought so....would you give someone a job just off seeing there cv and a couple of emails?

It's a bit like the following up interview

I suppose if he bought his axe along to the social it would give me a clue all might not the right Perhaps I should try it.

But if he was in his fireman's uniform eh? "

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Never have a social. Always meet at there place. I wear my seatbelt on the way though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I only meet in clubs and never accept lifts from strangers, something my mother told me many years ago but is still good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually notify the Coastguard Air Sea Rescue the RLNI and Mountain rescue...

Wonder if I'm over reacting.

Wanders back down the beach into the man cave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time. "

You can always have more than one social. Anyone who's serious should understand that. I prefer to chat for a while, even before a social, just to see if we click, but then I'm looking for someone regular, not just a one off.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

You can always have more than one social. Anyone who's serious should understand that. I prefer to chat for a while, even before a social, just to see if we click, but then I'm looking for someone regular, not just a one off."

This sounds like dating. Not swinging.

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

I take a brown paper bag in case I start hyperventilating from the shock that they turned up.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Never have a social. Always meet at there place. I wear my seatbelt on the way though. "

Clunk click every trip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club."

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials "

Of course, but that's the same in many areas of life, not just swinging..trust your instincts...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I talk to them for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape."

Don't the spikes ruin your lampshades?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials "

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape.

Don't the spikes ruin your lampshades?"

Yes but I don't mind the patchy shabby chic look. It's very popular on my eBay shop at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Of course, but that's the same in many areas of life, not just swinging..trust your instincts..."

I do yes hence no need of a social

I've normally been talking for ages, (and ages and ages) first though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always have an array of bear traps set up and a concealed pit with spikes just in case they try to escape."

I'll remember not to meet you in a forest then or an overgrown garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative "

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Condoms in back pocket

Just in case it progresses lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone always knows I'm having a meet or date depending on the situation. I don't really like socials as hate pubs and don't drink. But it depends on the other person. I always send pics on kik/whatsapp through the camera so the other person can see I'm genuine but I don't insist they do the same. Always make sure we chat for awhile on kik or WhatsApp and always makes sure there's no pressure for sex when we meet. It's mostly common sense without being too cautious. I have had bad, dangerous dates but only really positive meets. So I guess whatever I'm doing it's the right thing for me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either...."

For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....

For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me."

Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I practice doing eye pokes on my teddy before a meet and wear my running shoes.

Seriously though, chatting and meeting well verified people seems to be pretty sensible. And there's always gut instinct!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....

For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.

Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"

I would say as a single you will always be more vulnerable then a couple.

As a lot have said you need to chat a lot on here to get the feeling of the person....and after that I would say if comfortable with it move to telephone conversations. ..that's not for all I know for privacy reasons. But it works for me and you can always buy a £10-£20 disposable phone so your not giving your primary number out.

But at the end of the day nothing is 100% certain you won't get a dodgy fecker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a NEW thing getting rolled out nationally " ask for angella " it's for people creeper out and need to get lost quick out the back door.

You heard it here folks.... Ask for Angela !!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....

For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.

Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"

To an extent yes. It's partly an instinct thing, partly how they interact with me as a woman and partly the physical attraction. There's a great deal you can tell about someone from non verbal communication and from answers that they have no time to consider as they would if they were messaging.

Go on all you like I'm happy to discuss it

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Hard Hat, safety boots, Hi Viz vest, safety specs and gloves.

Don't wont the HSE turning up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut instinct

Common sense

If it doesn't feel right then it doesn't happen.

Quite simple really.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"Gut instinct

Common sense

If it doesn't feel right then it doesn't happen.

Quite simple really. "

100% agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How much safer do people feel going to the meet after having had a social first though. I can see the benefit for them in assessing attraction. But does having a social make you feel safer next time.

We have socials to see if we're compatible and to start establishing trust. Experience has taught us that a good social has no bearing on how a person is going to be in a private situation. If I was single I would only ever meet in a club.

I seem to pick people vast distances away so a social would be a bit of a faf (not that sort).

There still comes a point when you'll be alone with someone doesn't there, even after none or ten socials

Yes there does. I don't think socials have any bearing on safety, people can be very different in a sexual situation to drinking a latte in Costa. We're lucky in that as a couple we can look out for each other.

I still want to meet socially first though (Mr N would be quite happy not to). If other people don't that's entirely their prerogative

I take your point that socials might be more of a physical checkout as to who you have been chatting to more than a safety precaution, but it's still no bad thing. I always chat for quite a long time before even broaching the idea, and only when our chats have revealed that we might be compatible. Some ladies on here I enjoy chatting to, because it's fun, but we both know we are never going

to meet. That's fine, I don't have sex with all my friends in the real world either....

For me it's more than a physical check out. Given the way we play I'm going to potentially be in some vulnerable positions, I want to know how that person is with me.

Sorry to keep going on, but do you find that helps then. I'm potentially heading for more vulnerability in meets so really am interested x"

More vulnerable by where you are going for meets, or by what you are prepared to do? Either way, if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it probably isn't right for you..

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I put on my "fabs helmet"

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