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I wish I could explain it better, I’m quite a touchy feely person with my friends but I don’t want random people touching me unsolicited. I spoke to one of my mates about it and she said I sound unhinged (helpful) but I’m actually beginning to wonder if she’s right.
At a gig on Saturday night, now I appreciate we’re all in the standing area (wasn’t my first choice), but there’s surely got to be a limit as to how close you stand to someone in front of you. The guy behind me touched my arse at least three times whilst in conversation with the person he was with (talking with his hands) and the girls doing their slut drop dancing at the other side of me spilt a drink over my friend and made me just want to leave. 
There have been a few more examples but I’m actually starting to feel like a total loser and should get over myself but does anyone else feel the same way about personal space and strangers? 
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"I agree, A couple if years ago I was working at a catering manager. On a Thursday the g4s van used to turn up to collect the weeks banking. One driver in particular was a little bit familiar one week but I just thought it was accidental. He was a pleasant enough older guy, 60 ish I guess, I hadn't been there long and one if my Co workers said he was always a bit familiar(just a hand on your back at he's passing kinda thing). A few weeks later he was back again and I was taking a veg delivery at the same time. As he passed me he touched my arse.. I looked up and straight at the veg guy who actually looked as shocked as me. I actually said to him did he just do what I think he did, veg guy agreed. So I complained to the local g4s office. Said it wasn't appropriate and the response I got was, he's been with us for years he wouldn't do such a thing etc etc. They also continued to send him every few weeks and he got really shirty about the whole thing.. I wasn't that bothered for myself but it made me think how hard it is for a younger person (or anyone really) who plucks up the courage to complain and gets fobbed off. I am big enough and mean enough to look after myself but it makes you think. Sorry for hijacking your thread O. P X" Did you mention it to your own employer? They have a responsibility to ensure you are comfortable in your workplace. Sexual harassment doesn't just apply to colleagues  | |||
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"I agree, A couple if years ago I was working at a catering manager. On a Thursday the g4s van used to turn up to collect the weeks banking. One driver in particular was a little bit familiar one week but I just thought it was accidental. He was a pleasant enough older guy, 60 ish I guess, I hadn't been there long and one if my Co workers said he was always a bit familiar(just a hand on your back at he's passing kinda thing). A few weeks later he was back again and I was taking a veg delivery at the same time. As he passed me he touched my arse.. I looked up and straight at the veg guy who actually looked as shocked as me. I actually said to him did he just do what I think he did, veg guy agreed. So I complained to the local g4s office. Said it wasn't appropriate and the response I got was, he's been with us for years he wouldn't do such a thing etc etc. They also continued to send him every few weeks and he got really shirty about the whole thing.. I wasn't that bothered for myself but it made me think how hard it is for a younger person (or anyone really) who plucks up the courage to complain and gets fobbed off. I am big enough and mean enough to look after myself but it makes you think. Sorry for hijacking your thread O. P X" Hijack all you like... it’s nice to know I’m not on my own. That sort of touching is sexual harassment though and absolutely should be taken seriously. I’d not hesitate in dealing with that but when it’s innocent brushing past someone it makes me feel so uncomfortable and then I feel like I’m overreacting if that makes any sense. I managed to stave off a panic attack on Saturday night by leaving and just sitting outside the theatre by the doors but then two of the slut dancing girls came out and literally sat on top of me trying to squeeze onto one chair. I really had to stop myself screaming ‘stop fucking touching me’ at the top of my voice. | |||
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"Twice this week someone has pulled my hair on the bus (and not in a good way)
"What the actual!
I would be close to raging. | |||
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"As I’m getting older I’m more and more aware of personal space invaders and the less comfortable I am being touched by strangers.
I wish I could explain it better, I’m quite a touchy feely person with my friends but I don’t want random people touching me unsolicited. I spoke to one of my mates about it and she said I sound unhinged (helpful) but I’m actually beginning to wonder if she’s right.
At a gig on Saturday night, now I appreciate we’re all in the standing area (wasn’t my first choice), but there’s surely got to be a limit as to how close you stand to someone in front of you. The guy behind me touched my arse at least three times whilst in conversation with the person he was with (talking with his hands) and the girls doing their slut drop dancing at the other side of me spilt a drink over my friend and made me just want to leave.
There have been a few more examples but I’m actually starting to feel like a total loser and should get over myself but does anyone else feel the same way about personal space and strangers?
"See article" https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/13/its-not-groping-or-fondling-it-is-sexual-assault This issue came up during our recent trip to Gran Canaria. Whilst leaving Fun4All, wife went to chat to lady at bar whom she had danced with whilst I was paying the bill by the entrance. The lady's partner, whom hadn't said a word just reached around and fondled her arse. Wifes reaction was to stand back and slap the guy around the head. I was unaware of all this until we got out of the club, Second occasion a few days later in 2X2, wife was dancing erotically on pole with female friend when some fat guy wandered over and again grabbed her arse. Again very upset ( I was engaged with a friend in the playroom at the time ) and when told went to look for the guy to report him. It seemed however that the reaction of most of our friends, particularly females was that this is 'what you expect' in swinging. However this is not acceptable, until these two occasions we would have said that most guys in this lifestyle are respectable and considerate. In every case, the offenders should be reported to club managers and subsequently barred This is the only time this has happend in swing clubs, we live in Cap D'Agde and are regular club goers. | |||
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"Twice this week someone has pulled my hair on the bus (and not in a good way)
"Maybe they just like your perfume  | |||
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"I agree, A couple if years ago I was working at a catering manager. On a Thursday the g4s van used to turn up to collect the weeks banking. One driver in particular was a little bit familiar one week but I just thought it was accidental. He was a pleasant enough older guy, 60 ish I guess, I hadn't been there long and one if my Co workers said he was always a bit familiar(just a hand on your back at he's passing kinda thing). A few weeks later he was back again and I was taking a veg delivery at the same time. As he passed me he touched my arse.. I looked up and straight at the veg guy who actually looked as shocked as me. I actually said to him did he just do what I think he did, veg guy agreed. So I complained to the local g4s office. Said it wasn't appropriate and the response I got was, he's been with us for years he wouldn't do such a thing etc etc. They also continued to send him every few weeks and he got really shirty about the whole thing.. I wasn't that bothered for myself but it made me think how hard it is for a younger person (or anyone really) who plucks up the courage to complain and gets fobbed off. I am big enough and mean enough to look after myself but it makes you think. Sorry for hijacking your thread O. P X Hijack all you like... it’s nice to know I’m not on my own. That sort of touching is sexual harassment though and absolutely should be taken seriously. I’d not hesitate in dealing with that but when it’s innocent brushing past someone it makes me feel so uncomfortable and then I feel like I’m overreacting if that makes any sense. I managed to stave off a panic attack on Saturday night by leaving and just sitting outside the theatre by the doors but then two of the slut dancing girls came out and literally sat on top of me trying to squeeze onto one chair. I really had to stop myself screaming ‘stop fucking touching me’ at the top of my voice. "I don't do peopleing very well.. Trains are a nightmare and I have never been to a concert /gig for similar reasons. If I do it would have to be seated... Maybe you should have shouted at them... People take liberty's unintentional or not it's still invading your personal space.. X | |||
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"Obviously if you go to a festival to watch a band, then it's inevitable that you're gonna come into close proximity of other people, but to have other people shuffling too close behind you in a supermarket queue boils my piss sometimes "I stopped going to my local Tesco because an overly familiar older gent on the checkouts has a habit of commenting loudly on everything you're buying as he passes it over the scanner The last time I did my shopping there my haul happened to include all the ingredients for a Thai curry, ... He loudly commented on my shopping choices and told everyone around us which ingredients he prefers to use, and then loudly proclaimed that I'd made a good choice buying the toilet paper with aloe vera as I would need it, and suggested I keep it in the fridge.... He thought he was being funny, but most people around me looked just as uncomfortable as I did, and I saw one woman in the queue behind me worriedly slip a tube of something back out of her basket onto the sweet shelf... Cringe!!! | |||
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"That’s happened to me at a party years ago... the guy and his poor mortified wife were ejected. Rightly so. I’m talking about innocent space invaders though, in every day life rather than in a sexual situation. The etiquette there is pretty straightforward I would say. It’s a bit cloudy in day to day situations it seems. That’s the bit that makes me uncomfortable. I wouldn’t hesitate in telling someone who had touched me inappropriately where to go. But the man on the bus who’s grabbed a handful of my hair while he was standing up... what do you say to that? " Fuck off touching my hair? | |||
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" But the man on the bus who’s grabbed a handful of my hair while he was standing up... what do you say to that? " Ah, but was your hair down loose and hanging over the seat hand rail thingy? Cos i've had that it's totes awkward to move it without feeling like you're playing with the hair!
Just say "ow!!!!" And give a death glare next time  | |||
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I guess some cultures are happy with it...I'm not! | |||
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"Wanders in... Reads thread... Slips untouched into the quietness of an empty man cave.. "Yup... I hear you. Getting home to the sanctuary of my woman cave made me breathe a sigh of relief. I know I’m not a people person... I get to the stage where I’m peopled out but I can usually survive a night out without keeling over. | |||
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I'm a bit iffy with hugs too unless I initiate them. | |||
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"Wanders in... Reads thread... Slips untouched into the quietness of an empty man cave..
Yup... I hear you. Getting home to the sanctuary of my woman cave made me breathe a sigh of relief.
I know I’m not a people person... I get to the stage where I’m peopled out but I can usually survive a night out without keeling over. "People are OK. But at least you know where you are with dogs. Off to hug my collies | |||
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"As someone who is very claustrophobic, I feel your pain. I had a moment on a crowded bus recently (steamed up windows too) and felt sick and panicky. Fuck off people "It’s like that every morning... I’ve started to get a later bus so I don’t have to deal with that. The more steamed up the windows get and if I open a window it’s rudely closed about 30 seconds later. I just keep thinking about all those germs I’m inhaling. As for the hugging uninvited thing... one of our trainees got d*unk at the Christmas lunch and clearly thought it was cool to hug me.
It’s a bit of a thing for me... a handshake is manageable but our clients have also taken to hugging me. They don’t hug other people. What is that all about?! | |||
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"I know what you mean. The oft frequented mosh pit of my youth at The Leadmill is now very much a thing of the past. Ever since i've had a driving license there's been little need for the chaos of public transport which is a relief as i'm growing increasingly tired and frustrated with crowds. Or perhaps that's the cause - removing ourselves from the melee means that we lose the desensitising effect of constant exposure to it. " Yeah I’m too old for the mosh pit for sure but I still expect a little bit of room for my standing space. | |||
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"I know what you mean. The oft frequented mosh pit of my youth at The Leadmill is now very much a thing of the past. Ever since i've had a driving license there's been little need for the chaos of public transport which is a relief as i'm growing increasingly tired and frustrated with crowds. Or perhaps that's the cause - removing ourselves from the melee means that we lose the desensitising effect of constant exposure to it. Yeah I’m too old for the mosh pit for sure but I still expect a little bit of room for my standing space. "Is that to cater for your Zimmer frame? | |||
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"I know what you mean. The oft frequented mosh pit of my youth at The Leadmill is now very much a thing of the past. Ever since i've had a driving license there's been little need for the chaos of public transport which is a relief as i'm growing increasingly tired and frustrated with crowds. Or perhaps that's the cause - removing ourselves from the melee means that we lose the desensitising effect of constant exposure to it. Yeah I’m too old for the mosh pit for sure but I still expect a little bit of room for my standing space.
Is that to cater for your Zimmer frame? "I'd duck if i were you. | |||
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"I know what you mean. The oft frequented mosh pit of my youth at The Leadmill is now very much a thing of the past. Ever since i've had a driving license there's been little need for the chaos of public transport which is a relief as i'm growing increasingly tired and frustrated with crowds. Or perhaps that's the cause - removing ourselves from the melee means that we lose the desensitising effect of constant exposure to it. Yeah I’m too old for the mosh pit for sure but I still expect a little bit of room for my standing space.
Is that to cater for your Zimmer frame? "Now why didn’t I think of that?! Can I borrow your spare?! | |||
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"I was once in the tube in Paris going to a game and it was so cramped I felt like I was being repeatedly violated. Really enjoyed it. "You are disgusting. Can I lick you? | |||
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"I was once in the tube in Paris going to a game and it was so cramped I felt like I was being repeatedly violated. Really enjoyed it.
You are disgusting.
Can I lick you? "Thank you and yes.  | |||
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Axel | |||
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"I was once in the tube in Paris going to a game and it was so cramped I felt like I was being repeatedly violated. Really enjoyed it.
You are disgusting.
Can I lick you?
Thank you and yes. "
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"so now I wonder.. how many guys got their crotch groped or ass pinched by random girls?
Axel"Not sure but what’s your point? That’s not okay either. | |||
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"so now I wonder.. how many guys got their crotch groped or ass pinched by random girls?
Axel"Quite often on nights out by middle aged women when I'm leaning over the bar waiting to get served! I don't take offence but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't go down well if I did the same!! | |||
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"Don't get on public transport in Italy. It's like a clothed dry humping session.. "Oh ....Im half Italian. I did wonder why I had no idea of personal space  | |||
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