FabSwingers.com forum: Help with Funeral costs advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Apologies if this is not allowed. A few of you may already know Ali's sister passed away on Monday night, totally unexpected and completely out of the Blue only 47 yrs old

. We are all totally devastated but unfortunately she has no life insurance. Has anyone experienced a similar situation as she has left her only daughter who has no means of paying the cost of the funeral. Personally I am really annoyed that she has left her daughter in this position by being so silly as to not have life insurance. Sorry for rambling on but just trying to give a little info on the situation. Ali and myself have a few thousand in savings and if I max my credit card we can pay for this, but wanted to know if there is any sort of government funding to help with some of the cost. I have had a quick look online but it seems to be if you are only in receipt of specific types of benefits, or if your a partner of the deceased. Emotions are very raw at the moment but none of her other sisters are in a position to help either. Any advice would be totally appreciated. Thanks in Advance ...Mark...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you can get help if you are on benefits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this. Having been through sudden and unexpected loss the same as yourselves. Sadly, all I can offer is that everyone has to try and pool together to cover the costs. We looked at all avenues as my brother was 29 when he left us so there was definitely no insurance in place. Hope you get something sorted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you can get help if you are on benefits"
We aren't, I think her daughter gets working tax credit, but as far as I can read into the info, it would be Ali's sisters partner who has to make the claim and she does not have a partner

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I believe that if no one can genuinely pay rather than won't pay then you can leave it to the government for a "paupers funeral" but you aren't allowed to get involved with the arrangements etc.

Is there nothing she left in her will, estate etc as you can sometimes agree with others that the funeral cost is taken out before her money/goods/house is divided.

Might be one when family and friends all chip in a smaller amount rather than it fall to one person

If she was a close sister rather than someone you haven't seen for 20 years I'd even take a loan out

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a few options. Find a local indepebdant funeral director (avoid the co-op) and they will probably have a package that will match the funding available from the government grants. There are also direct funerals which are very cheap just a private cremation and you organise your own memorial service

Feel free to PM me, I can probably answer any questions you've got

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are different funding packages available and they are not dependent on being on benefits, there are multiple different criteria. Likewise the paupers funeral mentioned is normally minimal funding rather than no involvement with the family

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By *olgateMan
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Check it is an independent funeral director, a large proportion are actually owned by the big two chains and charge accordingly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think you can get help if you are on benefitsWe aren't, I think her daughter gets working tax credit, but as far as I can read into the info, it would be Ali's sisters partner who has to make the claim and she does not have a partner"

I would be surprised if her daughter couldn't apply for financial help. I would actually phone the benefits office or relevant government department or even better, pay them a visit if possible. Talk to a person rather than rely on the information on the websites. Hope you find something useful and get the help you need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have made an appointment with our local Citizen's Advice this afternoon and I'm taking Ali's niece with me to see what is available if anything. I really appreciate everyones advice though

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Sorry Alimark I wasnt aware, thats awful news.

It's little help I'm sure but you can usually pay for the costs (which arnt covered by the govt) with monthly payments over a few years, interest free.

Sorry if this isn't any help it's not ment to sound at all rude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry Alimark I wasnt aware, thats awful news.

It's little help I'm sure but you can usually pay for the costs (which arnt covered by the govt) with monthly payments over a few years, interest free.

Sorry if this isn't any help it's not ment to sound at all rude."
Not at all and thanks, ant advice is welcome

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't have any experience in this at all but just wanted to pass on my condolances.

It might not be the best thought but perhaps if there is no help available a go fund me or similar page could be set up for friends and loved ones to contribute. I know it's not the traditional thing to do but if there are no funds for a funeral it is an option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Funeral Payment government scheme can aid those that don’t have the money to pay for a funeral and who are already claiming certain benefits. The money can go towards burial or cremation fees, funeral expenses, travel to or from the service and any costs associated with moving the body from one place to another.

While the maximum allowance is £700, the amount you receive will depend on the specifics of your financial situation. However, it is worth noting that this money will have to be repaid if there is sufficient resources in the deceased’s estate to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/02/18 09:12:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And also ‘Beyond’ is the first in the UK to offer funeral finance, or credit. This effectively means that your funeral is paid for upfront and in full, and you pay this back in monthly installments. For a limited period they are offering funeral finance at no interest, or 0% APR.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have any experience in this at all but just wanted to pass on my condolances.

I was going to say this, I know not everyone likes the ‘giving pages’ but when Ads cousin died suddenly aged 27 no one had any means to pay for his funeral and raised enough and some to Charity. The same as my friend her family did the same and they didn’t have to worry about loans, credit cards etc.

Like I say it’s not for everyone and everyone has their own opinions on these types of things but just thought i’d mention it.

Big hugs by the way.

Geeky xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my ex died suddenly he had no money to cover his funeral. Nor did his (our) children. So i paid for it as there was no finacial help available at all.

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By *oyce69Man
over a year ago

Driffield

Following with interest as my brother was beaten to death a couple of weeks ago and I don't think he will have any assets or insurance.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Aw no. Big hugs to you and Ali. I can't offer any advice as I am clueless on funeral matters.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Following with interest as my brother was beaten to death a couple of weeks ago and I don't think he will have any assets or insurance.

That's awful. Bro hug from me bud.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

If the deceased has anything to leave, property, money, etc then whoever will be the recipient of that might want to take a loan.

It’s all rather sobering and something I’ve recently sorted. My husbands estate only just realised this week after 2 years 3 months.

Also a reminder to make a Will or make sure your Will is up to date.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sorry to hear this. I wondered if there might be any local small grants from local charities - even if they were to just take some pressure off in the short term, perhaps if the grant was a loan that would be repaid. Some generous people set up charitable trusts that help locals in difficulties. Social services may have some ideas too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No advice here but my condolences to Ali, her niece and all the family. Sad to hear the news x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

So sorry to read this. Hugs to Ali. Also the family of the man beaten to death.

All of the information given so far is good. When you come to deal with the estate and probation you are asked about the cost of the funeral and, assuming there are any assets, the costs are deducted from the estate.

Funerals are very emotive and you can get caught up in wanting to give your loved on the 'best' funeral possible. You need to do what feels right for you but I always caution people against the big, expensive funerals when there isn't the money there immediately. The funeral is for you and you don't want to end up resenting your loved on for you having to pay back a big loan for years to come.

I am planning to take out a funeral plan and pay for it now, while I still have resources. When Mum went into a care home we used some of her savings to buy her funeral at that point and it covered almost everything we wanted for her funeral. We only had to pay for the catering and the organist at the church. It's worth considering and everyone should stop being afraid to talk about preparing for death.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Condolences. When my dad died he wasnt on benefits but didnt habe any savings or assets or life insurance. But the government put 2500 towards funeral costs.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Condolences. When my dad died he wasnt on benefits but didnt habe any savings or assets or life insurance. But the government put 2500 towards funeral costs."

Sorry to ask but isn’t that only payable to a spouse ? I received something similar when I lost my husband.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Once again thank you for all the nice comments and all the advice. I have been to the citizens advice bureau today and please don't quote me on this but it is looking like Ali's sisters daughter will receive a bereavement payment of £2000 as her mother died before retirement age but has paid national insurance contributions for 27 years and because she is next of kin to her mum possibly will get the minimum of £700 from the government to help. the funeral bill is just short of £5000 but obviously with these payments it will be a massive help to her daughter, thanks everyone again cant thank you guys enough xxxxx Mark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Condolences. When my dad died he wasnt on benefits but didnt habe any savings or assets or life insurance. But the government put 2500 towards funeral costs.

Sorry to ask but isn’t that only payable to a spouse ? I received something similar when I lost my husband. "
sorry not sure as my mom sorted it all out and me and my brothers paid the rest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t know specifically about this situation but I do know if she had no partner then her daughter would be next of kin. As next of kin I would assume that would make her entitled to claim if she is eligible to do so xx

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Did Ali’s sister have death in service from her company. Some companies offer this. It maybe small amounts but may help

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

in Scotland the cost is covered by the state, there is nothing pauper about it, no one would know as it's done by an ordinary undertaker, English law may be different, but speak to the registrar rather than your swinging chums

sorry to hear of your loss

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

I’ve recently had to contact our borough council to arrange a paupers funeral. It was quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever had to do work wise.

I’m glad the CAB were of use & arrangements can be made. I will say just go for the cheapest option of everything if being cremated xx

Huge hugs to you both xx

B x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If she receives benefits the council will cover the cost of a basic funeral. She could apply to the British Gas Fund to cover any additional costs. It's a great charity and helped cover my father's funeral costs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry for your loss xxx

When my dad passed I went to the co-op and went through all the package details with cost just to get an idea of what we wanted.

Then I googled cheap local funeral directors and then at least I couldn't get ripped off with them trying to add "extras". I got the cost down from £3500 to £1700 for my dad's cremation.

There are companies that will cremate at a random location and send the ashes back which I think was about £750 but families can't attend. You could do this with a family gathering to scatter the ashes?

I assume she died at the hospital?

One thing we did do was have a viewing of my father at the hospital and get a priest to say a blessing which was completely free. We gave a donation but you might not have the resources. It was a good way to say goodbye without forking out thousands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No she passed away at her home but thank you all the same xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can still ask someone to do a blessing wherever she is lying in wait. They shouldn't charge any fees xxx

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Did Ali’s sister have death in service from her company. Some companies offer this. It maybe small amounts but may help "

Definitely worth investigating. When my husband died I got triple his annual salary as a death in service payment and he had only worked there six months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your best bet is to inform the coroner that there are not funds to pay for the funeral. There are council contracts with local funeral directors for these types of occasions when funds are not available. The funeral director appointed will arrange a properly dignified funeral, probably in the chapel of graveyard or the crem. Although extras like limo ect won't be included. He will get paid a set fee for the funeral.

I was in a similar position when my husband died.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your best bet is to inform the coroner that there are not funds to pay for the funeral. There are council contracts with local funeral directors for these types of occasions when funds are not available. The funeral director appointed will arrange a properly dignified funeral, probably in the chapel of graveyard or the crem. Although extras like limo ect won't be included. He will get paid a set fee for the funeral.

I was in a similar position when my husband died. "

Sadly this is becoming less and less common. Thanks to austerity the money simply isn't there. The council will put pressure on the family to at least helo organise and fund the funeral. And a service or even a choice between burial or cremation is becoming less common.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Did Ali’s sister have death in service from her company. Some companies offer this. It maybe small amounts but may help

Definitely worth investigating. When my husband died I got triple his annual salary as a death in service payment and he had only worked there six months. "

I am lucky I upgraded my DiS to 12 times but I know that will pay for my funeral settle any debts and make sure my parents can move as I think they wouldn’t be able to live in the same house.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

No matter how helpful you think you are being please don't post phone numbers or links that are not on the allowed list

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well Finally got sorted out and My sister is being laid to rest tomorrow. In the end we have been able to claim just over £3000 so only had £600 to find but the family have all rallied around and all sorted, thank you to everyone for the kind messages and advice. It has been a massive comfort and help xx

Thank You All

xxxxxxxxxx Ali xxxxx

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By *irestorm 500Couple
over a year ago

coventry

"Well Finally got sorted out and My sister is being laid to rest tomorrow. In the end we have been able to claim just over £3000 so only had £600 to find but the family have all rallied around and all sorted, thank you to everyone for the kind messages and advice. It has been a massive comfort and help xx

Thank You All

xxxxxxxxxx Ali xxxxx"

Love and best wishes to you ..thinking of you tomorrow x storm x

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

You might be able to arrange a payment plan, a mate did this when his mum passed away. He managed to get the payments over a year, the funeral was decent as well.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Thank You All

xxxxxxxxxx Ali xxxxx"

Glad it all got sorted. Hope it goes as well as it can tomorrow and you and your family find some peace

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

[Removed by poster at 12/02/18 22:19:09]

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Glad you got it sorted - it’s not something you should have to worry about while you’re dealing with losing a loved one.

I hope the day went well & my deepest condolences for your loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope it goes well today xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope everything goes as well as it can today x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks again for the kind words and messages everyone, dreading today but I will get through it xxxx Ali xxx

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Just to add to the well wishing.

Big hugs x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sister had a Fabulous send off yesterday and I have a New Ink today in her Memory xx What does my fellow forumites think of it

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Sister had a Fabulous send off yesterday and I have a New Ink today in her Memory xx What does my fellow forumites think of it

xx"

That's lovely.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Sister had a Fabulous send off yesterday and I have a New Ink today in her Memory xx What does my fellow forumites think of it

xx"

Hi Ali, I am so very sorry to hear about your sister; please accept my sincere condolences.

Your New Ink looks just right.

Hugs to you and Mark.

Lisa xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sister had a Fabulous send off yesterday and I have a New Ink today in her Memory xx What does my fellow forumites think of it

xx"

It’s lovely. And good that you gave her a good send off x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sister had a Fabulous send off yesterday and I have a New Ink today in her Memory xx What does my fellow forumites think of it

xx"

Love it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s beautiful xx

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