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half full?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The optimist says the glass is half full.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.

And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The politician says the reason for the water shortage is single mothers who fiddle their benefits ans councils who give Muslim clerics free money. For this reason we need to privatise the air as well as the water supply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Luddite doesn't like glasses and wishes we would all return to wooden beakers....

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I dropped the glass and it smashed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And the procrastinator hasn’t quite made up his mind how he feels about any of it!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The optimist says the glass is half full.

The pessimist says the glass is half empty.

The project manager says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The realist says the glass contains half the required amount of liquid for it to overflow.

And the cynic... wonders who drank the other half.

"

And the apathetic say 'what glass?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Richard Littlejohn blames the gays and the BBC.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Richard Littlejohn blames the gays and the BBC."

He's got it in for Big Black Cock?

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Richard Littlejohn blames the gays and the BBC."

Which he regards as being much the same thing anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

n I say taken em t't bldy kitchen when yav finished!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my glass is ever half-empty, I go to the bar and get a round in.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

and the little boy say "I didn't knick half of it mum, I only drink !"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However if you subscribe to the theory, your glass is half empty !!!……. and you were to remove half of the remaining contents from the glass,,,,, and then repeat this process over and over again….

You can never reach a situation where the glass would be empty, because no matter how may times you removed half of the half of the half etc, there would always be some still present…….

So that leaves us with a bit of a preponderance…….. don’t it !!!!

Yeah-yeah,,, I’m a douche -bag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"However if you subscribe to the theory, your glass is half empty !!!……. and you were to remove half of the remaining contents from the glass,,,,, and then repeat this process over and over again….

You can never reach a situation where the glass would be empty, because no matter how may times you removed half of the half of the half etc, there would always be some still present…….

So that leaves us with a bit of a preponderance…….. don’t it !!!!

Yeah-yeah,,, I’m a douche -bag "

well bldy dry it up after you wash it then! tch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"However if you subscribe to the theory, your glass is half empty !!!……. and you were to remove half of the remaining contents from the glass,,,,, and then repeat this process over and over again….

You can never reach a situation where the glass would be empty, because no matter how may times you removed half of the half of the half etc, there would always be some still present…….

So that leaves us with a bit of a preponderance…….. don’t it !!!!

Yeah-yeah,,, I’m a douche -bag

well bldy dry it up after you wash it then! tch"

haha..... I would, if I could, but I can't.... Cuz I'm a drip-dry-sorta-guy.... arf-arf,,,,,

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"I dropped the glass and it smashed."

YOU STUPID BOY!!!

(in a captain manwaring type voice)

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

The Whinger says...."The glass is half full of timewasters"

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"The Whinger says...."The glass is half full of timewasters""

hahaha and the other half is full of fakes

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast


"The Whinger says...."The glass is half full of timewasters""

And fakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If my glass is half empty I know who drank it. I know where to go to fill it up again too. Sometimes I fill it to the brim sometimes I fill it half way. If Im taking paracetemol I just swish a little bit in the bottom of the glass. If I need paracetemol through the night I just drink straight from the tap.

Sometimes I have half a melon.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Drink from the bottle, it's easier.

And if yer lucky, some passer-by will give you another bottle, maybe a blankey as winter approaches.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

the thief says,never seen no glass,honest guv.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"the thief says,never seen no glass,honest guv. "

oh really, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, again

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow


"the thief says,never seen no glass,honest guv.

oh really, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, again "

the sheep says, baaaaa baaaa baaaaa,

(cause they cant really talk you know).

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford


"the thief says,never seen no glass,honest guv.

oh really, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, again

the sheep says, baaaaa baaaa baaaaa,

(cause they cant really talk you know). "

i sussed that when it said "was that good for you too" in a twangy scottish accent

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

the magician says,here i have one half empty glass.i shall place this handkerchief over the glass,say the magic word ABACADABRA !!!!.drum roll.

remove the handkerchief,

and WALLA!!!the glass is now half full.

bows to the front,bows to the left,

bows to the right,

I THANK YOU!!i THANK YOU!!!I THANK YOU!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i knew a manic depressive who drowned in the bath

still not sure if it was half empty or half full

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