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I’m shit at this sex malarkey compared to the rest of Fab because ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

... I’m not “horny ALL of the time”, sometimes I just prefer a cup of tea. Or really must pop out to the supermarket!

What ways are YOU seemingly sexually inadequate compared to the rest of Fabdom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm practicing necrophilia they wake up and tell me I'm shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven’t met with anyone for sex for four years

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don’t “Fuck all night long” like many claim... a couple of hours including the foreplay is a bit of a marathon to be honest, an hour or so usually suffices! I need my beauty sleep!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're too old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't suck like a Dyson

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't suck like a Dyson "

I can’t breathe through my ears

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Im not bi... neither is he, and we are perfectly happy to just be sociable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not capable of taking an adequate cock pic by the unspoken guidelines of Fab, due to having a virgin box and not sky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually put off at the thought of a ginormous cock being presented at the crucial moment.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t want oral sex for hours lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I just can't be bothered.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

.....geography bites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a body to die for and nobody treats me with respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.....because I hate cum. Definitely won't allow it in my mouth and even on my skin I have to hold back the retching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t want oral sex for hours lol."

Why do men think this is all women want !

I don't squirt ! Please forgive me.

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By *uzi Jones 26Woman
over a year ago

The Devil's Lair

I cannot accommodate nor do I drive.

Also have very little free time meaning meets are a luxury.

I really am the elusive (mythical) unicorn

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By *uzi Jones 26Woman
over a year ago

The Devil's Lair


".....because I hate cum. Definitely won't allow it in my mouth and even on my skin I have to hold back the retching "

And this x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a huge lingerie or sex toy collection; I have to rely on my body and imagination to entertain men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thought of a heavy cummer constant repeating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make love not fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not looking for something regular.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really can't be arsed talking to people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I make love not fuck"

I have always said I'm more of a love maker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....geography bites "

I’ve heard that if two people want each other then distance is but a number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thought of a heavy cummer constant repeating "

Barf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....geography bites

I’ve heard that if two people want each other then distance is but a number? "

I've heard that if one person wants another, then age is just a number.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep falling in love/lust whatever you want to call it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't own a wand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't suck like a Dyson

I can’t breathe through my ears "

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I like this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....geography bites

I’ve heard that if two people want each other then distance is but a number?

I've heard that if one person wants another, then age is just a number. "

That is also true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not capable of taking an adequate cock pic by the unspoken guidelines of Fab, due to having a virgin box and not sky."

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


".....geography bites

I’ve heard that if two people want each other then distance is but a number? "

I hear that a lot too, but I can count on one finger how many people have made that a reality

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am limited to meet by pre planned meets due to circumstances at hime. However i like passionate spontaneous sex. Pre planning kills it a bit for me.

I don't find the build up to sex exciting. I find sex itself exciting. When i'm wet i want a cock. I don't want to have to titilate and prod a mans erection until i can get there and sit on it. In the meantime a thousand other men and women are messaging him trying to get in his pants.

I tell thee, it does thy head in.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I haven’t had sex for 10 months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get sex so irregularly that I forget how to do it and each time it's like I'm a virgin again!

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I’m crap at this because I won’t meet and fuck at the drop of a hat from a single initial message, I’m told that means I’m a tease, ah well

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

I don't like Lynx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a good dad and put my kids before anything. So very limited time to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the only person on here that sees my potential. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't like Lynx."

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By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

If I don't have sex for a while I forget how to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/01/18 09:56:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have Sky or a TV remote

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I'm a boring git. Sex isn't the be-all & end-all for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from not being readily available, only interacting passively instead of faf'ing everyone, not being toned or buff or great looking, being in the wrong part of the country and being of average endowment, with a barely tolerable sense of humour and having a tendency to spout shite on the forums, I'm a bit of a catch*.

*Only in my bubble, the rest if Fab have alternate opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the time I just can't be bothered.

I'm busy with work and family and when I've got free time I just want to veg out!

The very thought of getting ready to meet does my head in. Used to excite me but not anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock is getting evermore unreliable as I get older and the old blue pill doesn’t work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m fat and we don’t meet single men x

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Ive not had any in the 1st place

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

God where do I start !! I chat too much bollocks , I'm too sarcastic, I don't have a 10 inch cock, I look a mess most of the time , and I don't say what I think women want to hear in the forums just to point score. I am me that's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a "sex" / swinging site?

Omg i thought it was where you practiced your grammar or text speak as my "missives" never get responded to or are just deleted out of hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in a cave smell of trogladye, look like a trogladye, can't flirt, wouldn't recognise anyone flirting with me; need clubbed over the head and dragged away before I get the message; would often rather just walk the beach with my dogs, and the nearest civilisation is about 5 hours away.

I haven't even evolved opposable thumbs yet.... and I have 3 of those!

Evolution just seems to have passed me by...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I'm practicing necrophilia they wake up and tell me I'm shit. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I'm practicing necrophilia they wake up and tell me I'm shit. "

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea


"I live in a cave smell of trogladye, look like a trogladye, can't flirt, wouldn't recognise anyone flirting with me; need clubbed over the head and dragged away before I get the message; would often rather just walk the beach with my dogs, and the nearest civilisation is about 5 hours away.

I haven't even evolved opposable thumbs yet.... and I have 3 of those!

Evolution just seems to have passed me by... "

Your not a lone except i have cats not a dog

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

When I'm starting to drowse at night, before an early morning rise, I'm not meeting immediately for the fuck session of my life.

Neither am I going to dress in the detailed list of garments that have been imposed on the meet.

And when I'm a few thousand miles away in the USA but browsing fab, I won't meet you tonight in England because I'm a killjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I don't jump through hoops just to get a meet

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By *un17Man
over a year ago

Ennis

Because I wear knickers and am attracted to girls

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I dont have a body to die for ...

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't have a 9" black dick, cum gallons, or plough on for hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been a while, i do miss eating pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm getting older, my works all over the place, theres far vettee bodies than mine out there and to be quite honest, sometimes I've got better things to do

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston


"I make love not fuck"

And we don’t want to share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t look for massive cocks I like average!

I don’t care if you’re a heavy cummer

And I don’t squirt...sooo clearly inadequate

MrsK x

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

Because I don’t want sex with more than one person at a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t like clubs. I’ve tried, but just not my thing. On my updates, loads seem to go to clubs all the time.

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By *av_55Man
over a year ago

NE


"I'm not capable of taking an adequate cock pic by the unspoken guidelines of Fab, due to having a virgin box and not sky. "
or no deodorant cans to hand,,, excuse the pun

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By *av_55Man
over a year ago

NE

Prefer to dance laugh and few vinos ,,, plus hung like a Chinese mouse ,,, with a small towel I hasten to add ,,

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Because we won't do meets, to turn up and hook up isn't for us. We love social clubs and meeting people, go with the flow. We've bumped into couples that we've chatted with on here and clicked straight away in club which is awesome. So many don't get this and badger us for a meet.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

.....I won't meet people who are staying in the Travelodge in my area for a couple of days! Now if it was the Hilton.....

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"God where do I start !! I chat too much bollocks , I'm too sarcastic, I don't have a 10 inch cock, I look a mess most of the time , and I don't say what I think women want to hear in the forums just to point score. I am me that's it "

You do have a nice bum though... just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't suck like a Dyson "

This

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"God where do I start !! I chat too much bollocks , I'm too sarcastic, I don't have a 10 inch cock, I look a mess most of the time , and I don't say what I think women want to hear in the forums just to point score. I am me that's it

You do have a nice bum though... just saying "
Haha thank you muchly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t want my pussy destroyed or ruined

Ms B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m too busy eating cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm more of a third date kinda gal

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I don't squirt.

We don't meet single men.

I don't fuck men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't have Sky or a TV remote"

Reminds me of my old friend who was always measuring his penis by a remote. Betty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t believe in sex before marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And my penis fell off in a horrible smelting accident

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By *ittle earsMan
over a year ago

south oxfordshire


"I don't have a body to die for and nobody treats me with respect. "

What you have a Great body!, but sadly I’m too old and single to be considered on Fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".....I won't meet people who are staying in the Travelodge in my area for a couple of days! Now if it was the Hilton..... "

Now you tell me! Jeez!.......Google's Hilton Northampton availability. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want a cuddle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I'm practicing necrophilia they wake up and tell me I'm shit. "

Keep practicing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd really rather have a cuddle most of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.........my cock fell off because I hadn't washed it in 16 years since I last had sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I luurrrve cuddling - but after the hot sex

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

[Removed by poster at 31/01/18 17:27:07]

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I have to be in the exact right frame of mind for casual sex and that tends to involve days of advance beautification prep. Also, I am rubbish at hand jobs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not interested in "9 inches of hot meat", gym fit (seriously I like pizza), "I can make you gush" (honestly you cant and you probably wont get me to orgasm), I also have no inclination to stamp on your balls, put your cock in one of those cage things (thanks google) or fuck you because your wife cheated and you want revenge.....I could honestly go on all night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because most of the time I don't look the way I do in my pics. I'm either in full on Mum mode in my school run coat or I'm wearing my comfy bedtime bra, in my pjs with my fluffy slippers on, sporting a high ponytail because my hair needs washing. My legs probably need shaving, I'm wearing my glasses with no make up and I'm really not up for a meet tonight!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area


".....I won't meet people who are staying in the Travelodge in my area for a couple of days! Now if it was the Hilton..... "

Lol ......

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By *kbloke_11Man
over a year ago

Hockley

I'm not a BBC!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I won’t drop everything at three in the morning, and jump in a freezing cold car to drive 50 miles for a mindless shag

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don’t have a beard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're monogamous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not bi & I don’t take it up the arse...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because I won’t drop everything at three in the morning, and jump in a freezing cold car to drive 50 miles for a mindless shag "

Do you mind if we shag in your car too. I cant accom!

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By *witch4Fun24Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

I am shit because I can't accommodate because my flat is my personal space my family don't even get to visit, only long term partners and friends whom I invite in.

I also get really bored giving hand jobs, have a really small mouth so can't fit a whole dick in it and I can't deep throat. I also only allow Princess in my butt.

I am also apparently reeeally picky because I don't fuck any random single guy who says hi to me in the hot tub at the club or says they like my tattoos. Or hairy guys. Or anyone I have never met face to face first. And because I don't anally fuck guys on the first meet.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

Because most of the time I'd rather a cup of tea to a furious fucking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not a BBC!!!!!!"

Me neither, I wish I was, the BBC pay well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[Malarkey removed by poster at 31/01/18 17:27:07]"

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon


"[Malarkey restored by poster at 31/01/18 17:27:07]"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because most of the time I don't look the way I do in my pics. I'm either in full on Mum mode in my school run coat or I'm wearing my comfy bedtime bra, in my pjs with my fluffy slippers on, sporting a high ponytail because my hair needs washing. My legs probably need shaving, I'm wearing my glasses with no make up and I'm really not up for a meet tonight! "

So you are a normal person thats a tick in my box

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places


"I'm not capable of taking an adequate cock pic by the unspoken guidelines of Fab, due to having a virgin box and not sky."

Excuse me ..... I beg to differ

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't squirt, I'm always so busy I have to plan meets weeks in advance, I don't feel comfortable with my body so as soon as I'm dressed up for a meet I get even more self conscious and shy, and chances are I won't cum on a meet.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I'm shit because I'm rarely free.... I have to find the other person attractive and they have to be able to hold a conversation. I'm not into car sex with a stranger nor do I want fuck and go with someone that won't satisfy me in the slightest. Those who message saying they'll have me gushing and begging and shite... you are talking precisely that! A whole heap of shite. I don't wanna smash your balls nor do I want to parade you around on a lead or use you as a foot stool.

I have "standards"! Heaven forbid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't squirt, I'm always so busy I have to plan meets weeks in advance, I don't feel comfortable with my body so as soon as I'm dressed up for a meet I get even more self conscious and shy, and chances are I won't cum on a meet."

I also like the comfort of my own bed, so will very rarely travel

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I am not interested in "9 inches of hot meat", gym fit (seriously I like pizza), "I can make you gush" (honestly you cant and you probably wont get me to orgasm), I also have no inclination to stamp on your balls, put your cock in one of those cage things (thanks google) or fuck you because your wife cheated and you want revenge.....I could honestly go on all night."

.........you’re not into old geezers and you’re miles away from me?

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