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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok guys .

We have been playing on and off for at least 18 years .

We have joined numerous sites and when time allows meet the odd couple for soft occasional or full swap and bi female play .

We also love camming being watched is a massive turn on for the wife.

Anyway we have always wanted to go to a club but the nerves always get the better of the wife and she is just too nervous to go in even though we have been in the bloody carpark on 4 occasions lol over the years .

It is not so much the fear of seeing a person she knows as over the years we have had replies from and seen people on the sites we know by site or have worked with and she is happy to reply to those and meet .

She has said she just cannot get over the hurdle of being pounced on by groups of guys or forced down routes she doesn't want to go down in a club environment and accepts its an irrational fear.

As it currently stands she calls the shots via cam, social meets and fun meets and she feels a club takes that away .

So fellow clubbers any suggestions to get over this hurdle or just call it a day and carry on with the added bonus of the odd private party ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe attend a couples only club night. There'd be no single guys to do any pouncing, and I'd imagine she'd feel more relaxed around a couple

C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at your profile a couples only night would definately suit you. Quite a few clubs do these (Friday night singles, Saturday night couples is quite common).

As for getting over the hurdle of making it from the car park into the club for the first time go with the attitude of giving it half an hour inside and if you don't feel comfortable then leave. Also it is perfectly acceptable to tell everyone it is your first time and you are not playing and only watching. Nobody is going to judge you - we have all been there ourselves.

It is definitely worth the effort.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Yes a couples night would be the way to go - most clubs have a social area that is no different from a normal bar where you can chat and get to know people and there's absolutely no pressure to move from there.

Clubs usually are happy to give a guided tour to any first time visitors too and explain club rules and etiquette etc.

Some clubs are dress down after a certain time so you might want to check that before going but a lot it's perfectly acceptable to remain clothed in the social areas.

A lot of people have a preconceived idea that once you step through the door it's just one big orgy going on with everyone into everyone else no holds barred - that couldn't be further from the truth.

The biggest step is getting through the door though but once you do you won't look back

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Also worth looking out for social meetings with the potential to go on to a Club with another couple.

Or even a Newbies night at a Club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave those poor seals alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat it as a sightseeing adventure.... and perhaps a reward after for being brave enough for stepping through the door for a half an hour as previously said. The reassurance can come from you that you will ensure her fear won’t take place as you would stop anyone broaching her.

Her confidence will soar after .... and it’s just a bit of fun - pic a club with a good reputation..... perhaps she can take a girly friend with you all as well xx

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"

She has said she just cannot get over the hurdle of being pounced on by groups of guys or forced down routes she doesn't want to go down in a club environment and accepts its an irrational fear."

We've been to a lot of clubs over the last four years, and can honestly say that we've never found the single guys to be "pouncy" in the slightest. Generally they come in two varieties, there are the ones who are too nervous to talk to you, but just follow couples about everywhere just in case you decide to invite them to play... and those who come and chat. 99% of the time, if you tell a guy "no thanks" they will move on and leave you alone... but we've never found them overwhelming.

In all honesty, the only people who ever just join in or pounce on us are the single ladies... and we don't generall mind that.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned, a couples night would be a good place to start...however, any club worth their salt won't be like that even on a greedy girls night.

No means no and you always ask before you touch...rules that are always in place at the club's I've been to.

It's not half as scary as you'd think! And that's coming from someone who used to attend as a single female!

Go! Enjoy yourselves!

Strumpet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest going to a couples-only event. The one I went to last night had a glow-band system for single guys;

Green - approachable and open to play with single guys

Pink - under no circumstances can you be approached by single guys. They cannot engage with you unless you initiate conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually find clubs to be a very empowering place to go as a single girl. I know without doubt that I call the shots in terms of what I'm happy to do, every club I've ever been in has stressed that the ladies word is final. I've never been pounced on and have always found the guys to be very polite and respectful, and most importantly very responsive to a polite 'no thank you'

I think the suggestion of going on a couples only night is a great one. Hope you enjoy yourselves if you do manage to go x

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

All of the above is good advice. I’d also add try a club where dress down is optional & if you feel you would rather stay in the social areas only until you feel ready to dress down or play.

Gomez & I stayed in the bar socialising in our first trip to Townhouse & only played with each other on our next few visits. There are also private rooms in most clubs so you could start off just playing together in a private room until you find your feet & feel comfortable to try open rooms.

There is no obligation to play in a club & no touching without invitation. No means no & you can go at your own pace

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice guys , We think the best route is as said couples only nights and to get over that hurdle of going through the door is by going with another couple as a bottle of red before she gets in there to calm nerves may prove to be a disadvantage . Thanks again.

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